Why am I not dead yet?
Why wasn't I the one who died?
Why do I still linger in this world, struggling for my every last breath?
...
The same questions had repeated countless times in the girl's heart.
Since she began her wandering, she had never slept a single good sleep.
"Escape? Where do you think you can escape to? I will ceaselessly, endlessly appear in your deepest nightmares, until you are powerless to resist..."
That malicious sneer often intruded into her dreams; the Herrscher of the Void's hideous face was a nightmare she could not evade.
But what made her feel the most despair was not the Herrscher's malicious mockery, nor was it the dazed helplessness when the Herrscher of the Void occupied her body.
It was...
"Kiana..."
At the moment her consciousness suddenly cleared, the red-haired woman was only a stone's throw away. Her skin was like cracked dry earth; the vitality in her eyes had dissipated, leaving only dead ash.
"This is... the final lesson..."
The sound of the Godslayer Sword breaking caused her pupils to contract. The Herrscher's consciousness swept over her like a tide, once again drowning out her will, and the explosive power knocked the woman's body flying.
"Heh..."
A trace of an imperceptible smile graced the corner of the woman's mouth.
The moment the liquid of the Godslayer Lance was injected into her body, it surged through her like scalding lava.
It was a pain that felt as if it were tearing her entire body apart completely; even her soul felt like it was scorching in hellfire.
The Honkai energy inside her body was constantly being dissolved, and the Imaginary Space collapsed.
She could only watch that lifeless figure fall toward the bottomless abyss, like a bird falling from the sky...
Every time she dreamed of this, Kiana would startle awake.
"Kiana, Kiana! You can't use the Herrscher's power anymore..."
A familiar voice constantly rang out in her mind, attempting to open her frozen heart, but that anxious voice falling upon her ears sounded just like the sneer of a perpetrator.
She clearly knew who the voice belonged to—the one constantly fighting the Herrscher of the Void in her mind, suppressing the other party.
But she could not accept it, could not acknowledge it, and could not agree with it...
Fu Hua.
Her dear Squad Monitor, her partner, her...
Liar.
Liar.
Liar, liar, liar, liar—!
The anger felt like it would burst through her chest, yet Himeko's final voice rang in her ears once again.
"Kiana..."
Several times, between half-dreaming and half-waking, Kiana always felt as if she had returned to those days at St. Freya.
Leisurely sleeping in, only to feel a sudden stinging pain in her ear. Opening her eyes, she would see Himeko's angry face.
"Kiana, just how long are you going to sleep! Get up!"
"Ouch, ouch, ouch! Auntie Himeko, don't grab my ear!!"
"Don't call me Auntie, call me Teacher!"
Yes.
She must be dreaming. She was having a sad dream.
But it didn't matter. As long as she opened her eyes, she would be able to return to her warm little nest at St. Freya.
She would be able to smell the aroma of the breakfast Mei made with her own hands, hear the sound of Bronya playing games, and then before long, Himeko would appear at her bedside to personally catch this big lazy worm—
However, when Kiana opened her eyes, what greeted her vision was a pitch-black, gloomy alley in Arc City.
She could only wrap her coat tighter around herself, but that coldness penetrating deep into her soul was something no fire, no matter how roaring, could drive away.
She knew it, of course she knew it...
She could not go back to St. Freya.
Teacher Himeko would not come back either.
When this thought clearly floated into Kiana's mind, she did not cry, because her tears had long since run dry during countless waking moments.
But her chest still felt as if it were pressed down by a giant boulder; every breath carried a heavy stagnation.
That was not an instantly explosive sharp pain, but a dull ache slowly grinding over her nerves, more torturous than being struck by Mei's lightning during training.
It was like a dull knife cutting flesh, never ceasing...
"You killed her."
"It was you, it was you, it was you, Kiana—!!"
"You should remember, right? Remember the sensation of manipulating the Subspace Lance to pierce through her body, remember the sound of using the Herrscher's power to crush her bones until they went crack..."
"Of course you remember, of course you remember, because... I am you..."
That voice was like a venomous snake, sharp and thin. Under the Herrscher's nearly insane devastation, her nerves had long become incomparably fragile... just like a taut string, ready to snap at any moment.
And that day finally arrived.
Upholding the last shred of light in her heart, Kiana killed a Honkai Beast that appeared in a corner of Arc City and urged a mother and daughter to leave.
After watching their figures disappear, she put her hood back on, intending to leave before the Arc City police arrived.
However, the violent will instantly broke through the critical limit. Using Honkai energy continuously these past few days had invited a terrifying demon, and her eyes were once again dyed with the Herrscher's gold.
Ah...
She pressed the pistol against her own chin. In her hallucination, she seemed to see Himeko waving at her.
"You think suicide will bring release? Keep dreaming!"
"Stop, quickly, Kiana! Stabilize your mind, I will help you—"
Two familiar voices intertwined in her mind, as if engaging in a fierce battle.
"Teacher Himeko... I'm sorry, I can't let the Herrscher..."
Tears slid down her cheeks and dripped onto the ground.
Bang—
A gunshot shattered the silence of the Arc City night.
Everything seemed to end here, to conclude here...
Was it over?
...
It seemed not yet.
"After a person dies... is there still consciousness?"
Kiana remembered asking Teacher Himeko such a question once. The other party had sneered and said:
"You'll know when you die!"
But she clearly still had consciousness. An absurd joy rose in her heart—I can finally tell you, Auntie Himeko, after a person dies...
Cold liquid hit her face.
The sensation made her involuntarily shiver.
Kiana opened her eyes. A pattering rain had started to fall.
"Where... is this?"
She found herself lying blankly in an alley. Raindrops hit her lips, carrying a rusty chill.
Kiana raised her hand to wipe her face; what her fingertips touched were undried tear stains and the wet cold of rain, not the severe pain of a headshot she had anticipated.
She looked down at her hand. The web of her thumb still held the soreness from gripping the gun, but the pistol that had been pressed against her chin was long gone.
The White Comet armor on her body was like a heavy piece of scrap iron; the lights at the joints were all out, and even the constant-temperature layer that hugged her skin had lost its function.
The cold wind wrapped the rainwater and drilled into the gaps of the armor, freezing her until her teeth chattered slightly.
She supported herself against the wall and walked forward. Every step pulled at the wounds on her body, making her gasp in pain.
But this pain was real. It belonged to "Kiana Kaslana"; it was not a hallucination caused by the Herrscher's consciousness.
She subconsciously touched her chest, only to hear the steady beating of her heart.
Thump, followed by thump.
As if reminding her.
"You are still alive."
The moment she walked out of the alley, she stopped in her tracks.
Colorful umbrellas moved along the street, and the sound of car horns rose and fell.
What made her pupils constrict most violently was the giant screen in the center of the square.
The woman on it was wearing a gorgeous evening gown, smiling elegantly. The subtitles below read "World Superstar Eden."
"Where... is this place?"
The rain slanted against Kiana's face, mixing with her undried tear stains, bone-chillingly cold.
She stumbled into the crowd.
"Is anyone there? Excuse me, where is this?"
No one responded.
She blocked a passerby, but the person walked straight past her, their shoulder brushing her arm—
No.
Not brushing past.
Passing through.
Kiana lowered her head to look at her hand.
The rain penetrated her fingertips and fell to the ground.
Her palm was becoming transparent.
"No..."
She wanted to grab something, but her fingertips passed through the roadside railing, passed through the billboard, passed through everything she attempted to touch.
"No, no, no—"
She crouched down, wrapping her arms around her knees, her body trembling uncontrollably.
The rain fell on the top of her head, but it did not wet her hair.
It went straight through.
"Heh..."
The familiar sneer rang in her ear. She couldn't tell if it was an auditory hallucination.
"Is this your destination, Kiana? Becoming a ghost that not even the world is willing to acknowledge?
"That's fine too. This way you can watch this world spin on forever and ever, while you can do nothing, touch nothing...
"Isn't this... the punishment most suited for you?"
Kiana did not respond to that voice.
She just squatted silently in the rain, watching pedestrians walk past her, watching the rain penetrate her body.
She didn't know how much time had passed.
Maybe a few minutes, maybe a few hours.
She stood up and walked aimlessly.
The neon lights on the street blurred into halos of light in the curtain of rain.
She didn't know where she was going, nor did she know where she could go.
Just walking.
Walking continuously.
Until she walked into an old residential compound and went up the stairwell of a building.
She leaned against the wall and slid down to sit.
Tired.
Truly tired.
The feeling of being rejected by this world made her dizzy.
Every so often, she would feel her existence becoming thinner, as if she would dissipate into the air at any moment.
Only in certain moments—
Like just now, when she accidentally got close to a certain door in the stairwell.
That feeling of dissipation would alleviate somewhat.
It was as if something was anchoring her.
So she sat down beside that door.
Maybe it was just psychological.
Maybe she was just too tired, tired to the point of starting to hallucinate.
But she had no strength to walk anymore.
Let it be here.
Anyway, no one could see her.
Until.
The sound of footsteps rang out.
A young man appeared in the stairwell.
He was holding an umbrella, carrying a plastic convenience store bag in one hand and a key in the other.
Kiana did not look up.
Just another passerby who couldn't see her.
She was already used to it.
Then she heard that person stop.
"Trouble you to let me pass."
The voice was very ordinary, carrying a bit of the weariness of returning home on a rainy night.
"I'm home."
Kiana froze.
She slowly raised her head.
The young man was looking at her.
Not that kind of "looking" where the gaze penetrated her and landed on the wall behind her.
But truly, genuinely—
Looking at her.
"You... can see me?"
She widened her eyes.
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