"Stand down," Hawkgirl pleaded. "He's using you to get to me! He's not a man worth fighting for!"
"Actually, I've found myself looking forward to this day, and he gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. He offered me and my people a sanctuary, and the only thing standing in the way of that is you, Birdie," Satanna replied.
Satanna raised her rifle and started to fire.
Hawkgirl launched herself sideways, still in anguish, throwing herself behind a car, leaving a scorch mark on the concrete where she was standing.
Hawkgirl charged forward with the roar of a warrior, her mace held high, ready to strike. Satanna stepped back, removing something small from her belt and throwing it at Hawkgirl's feet. The sonic grenade detonated.
A blast of pure force shrieked across the air, lifting her off her feet and skidding across the ground with a trail of sparks as she used her wings to stop the momentum. Her back grazed the side of a delivery truck.
Satanna rushed towards her, an arc of sparks emitting from Hawkgirl's chest as Satanna's claws swiped across. A knee struck her chest; she felt the force, but she didn't have time to care. She moved her head, a fist striking where it used to be. She sidestepped swinging her mace, hearing the steel of the truck dent and break.
Satanna stepped back, a shriek of force launching Hawkgirl into the windscreen of an SUV, glass bouncing off her helmet. Hawkgirl rolled off, Satanna already prowling towards her again as she swung her mace overhead in a large arc, missing completely and smashing the concrete ground.
Satanna pounced on the opportunity to be met with a headbutt, arcing her head backwards before being hit cleanly across the chest with Hawkgirl's mace. On impact her eyes widened before being hurled through the glass window of a store, its products collapsing around her along with shattered glass.
Satanna spat out blood before walking through the broken window, back in Hawkgirl's way. Hawkgirl charged forward as Satanna lifted her rifle and fired. In response, Hawkgirl threw her wings forwards to shield herself; the pain built up from all those hits screaming across her body.
Satanna continued her rain of bullets, circling around. Hawkgirl dashed forwards, wings still shielding her, and rammed Satanna through a newsstand, newspapers flying around them both. A small beep could be heard, along with a faint glow inside the shield Hawkgirl made with her wings. Satanna had placed a sonic grenade inside during that time.
Another loud shriek could be heard along with Hawkgirl flying backwards yet again, her wings creating a trail of sparks as she ground along the floor, blood pouring from her nose and ears.
Satanna rushed forwards, and when Hawkgirl finally stood back up, she sprayed her with plasma bullets again, forcing her to use her wings as a shield once more. Eventually the rain of bullets stopped; Hawkgirl saw this as an opportunity, and as she withdrew her wings and prepared her mace, Satanna slipped through the gap, sending a crushing knee into Hawkgirl's ribs, creating a small crack.
Due to her Thanagarian biology, her ribs were harder than normal humans', and to feel them crack was a rare occurrence during all her battles. Usually signalling her end.
"You're getting weaker!" Satanna observed. This wasn't taunting but simple observation; Hawkgirl was becoming exhausted, and all the damage was starting to stack up. "How much longer can you last, I wonder?"
Hawkgirl's eyes were losing the will to continue. She didn't care if she died here; she'll just get her payback in her next life, if she still even cares. "Let's just get this over with!"
Hawkgirl launched forward, her mace swinging in wild arcs, losing its finesse. Satanna dodged with ease, the attacks predictable. From the side Baradoosh swung his maul with full power, smashing Hawkgirl through the nearby building into the one behind it.
She lay slumped against the wall; she didn't even bother trying to get up. There was no point; she had lost, and she accepted her fate.
Satanna watched from the road where their fight was taking place, speaking to someone in her ear. She couldn't catch any of the words, but she had an idea as to who it was.
Her time to be reborn was coming once more, another life dedicated to this cause, forever and ever. Maybe she might not even remember her past lives; that would be a nice change. Maybe she could finally have a family, from start to end, without it being cut short. To grow old together, none the wiser to what comes after.
The world faded around her, all the chaos outside just a silent hum as she closed her eyes.
"Is that it? Just like that, huh?" She opened her eyes to see Sophist standing in front of her. Annoying her even during death.
Hawkgirl closed her eyes again.
"I once had respect for you. All these centuries you've committed your life to helping people, but seeing you here now, you're pathetic."
"I don't care what you think; I never did this for you anyway," she replied, her voice faint and unbothered.
"So you're giving up completely?"
"Why shouldn't I?" Hawkgirl finally turned to look at him, her eyes empty.
"That's what I'm here to tell you," Sophist replied.
"Ok, genius, tell me! What's the point?" she mocked, bitter. "Five. Thousand. Years. Five thousand years of life."
"I know."
"Do you? I remember every life, every death. I relive them all, and every time I hope in my next chance I'll be at peace, that maybe this time I can just be. Then I remember, then I die, and the cycle repeats again and again." Her voice started to crack.
"So you want to forget. Forget it all." He stated, watching her.
"I pray to forget. Every night. Every life. I pray that the next one won't remember. That I'll be born as someone else, someone who gets to just live through that one life. Happy and oblivious until she dies. I was close once, but deep down I know I won't be that lucky again. I'll always remember. Always fight. Always die. Always come back." Her eyes were wet. "People wish they could have this power, but it's no gift. It's a fucking curse. One that I have to bear simply because I fell in love with someone that wasn't him!"
Sophist remained quiet and listened. "You think death will free you?" he said softly.
"I know it won't. I've known for a long time now. That's the problem, you asshole! I can't even escape this fucked-up life in death." She didn't bother to wipe away her teary eyes.
"And so you've stopped caring whether you live or die."
"Great deduction, Sherlock. What gave you that idea? This life, the next and the one after that. It's all the same. Same battles. Same losses. I get to watch everyone I form any meaningful connection with die while I just get to keep on going." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I'm just tired."
Sophist sat down beside her, close but not touching. "Tell me something, have you ever lived the same life twice across all five thousand years?"
"What?"
"The same life. Exactly the same. Same people, same events, same choices, same outcomes," he said.
"No. But..."
"Then it doesn't repeat." He held up a hand, stopping her from arguing back. "I know, you remember them all; that's all you talk about, apparently, besides your hatred for me. The weight gets heavier, but each life ends up unique, right?"
"That doesn't make it better."
"Doesn't it?" He shifted to face her more properly. "You mentioned praying. Praying to forget, to be born again but without your memories, but have you considered what that actually means?"
"Freedom," she replied immediately.
"If you're born without these memories, then the current you, Shayera, ceases to exist. Some other woman will wear your face; sure, she might have your soul, but she won't be you. You. The woman who's lived through ancient Egypt and the mediaeval times. Everything will be gone."
Hawkgirl stared at him. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
"You said yourself, You wish you could like her, the woman who didn't get her memories. To you she's a completely different person than you. You still feel a connection to your first life, no? You say it yourself, that you've simply changed, but what about that life? You classify that as someone completely different." He leaned closer. "You don't want to forget; you want all this pain to mean something."
"I... That's not..."
"Isn't it?" Sophist pressed. "For five thousand years, you've carried all these memories. All the joys. All the sorrows. All the people you loved. All the battles. They've made you who you are today. Yes, sure, they weigh on you, but if you could get rid of them all and start with a blank slate. Would you do it?"
Images of her past flashed through her mind. Her first love, Khufu's smile. Anthony's laugh. Her mother's lullaby in a language that died over a millennium ago. The first time she flew, she felt the breeze across her face and saw the beautiful view. The first time she saved someone. Her first wound. Her time with the Justice League.
"I..." her voice barely a whisper. "I don't know."
"I think you do. You're not afraid of death; you're afraid of everything becoming meaningless, that all this pain and struggle adds up to nothing."
Tears flowed down her face. "Don't they? After every life, what changes? What improves? The world keeps on turning. Evil will always exist. I keep on losing all the people I love, and everyone I save will just die in the end, as I just get to live on. Over and over and over. What meaning could there possibly be in that?"
Sophist went quiet for a while. "Do you know how many people you saved? How many civilisations you've helped preserve? How many people got to live another day thanks to you?"
"How am I supposed to remember them all?" She looked at him through her blurred eyes.
"You asked what changes? Everything. Everything changes. Slavery used to be common practice, and now it's condemned across the world, at least by the majority. Women didn't have a voice, and now they can do whatever they want. Humanity went from banging together rocks in a cave to searching the stars. Do you think it was an accident? No connection? You know you saved Archimedes. Isaac Newton too. Without those people, we would be nowhere near the civilisation we've become today."
"I'm just one person."
"Exactly. One person across five thousand years, one person who, in every life, chose to stand up and fight back. Fight for what is right. One person whose choices rippled across all of time in ways you or I could never comprehend." Sophist leaned back.
Hawkgirl stayed silent. Taking in what Sophist was telling her.
"You want meaning? Here it is. You are a thread woven through most of human history, proof that choices matter, proof that one person can stand against the darkness and make a difference. To keep standing tall and strong."
"And what if I'm too tired to continue standing?"
"Then you rest. You let others carry that burden for a while. You fix your little glass box. But you never give up. Because that would mean everything you carry with you, memories, wisdom and experience, dies with you. Then the world gets just a little darker."
They sat together in silence for a few minutes, and eventually Hawkgirl drew in a shaky breath.
"For a villain you're quite good at this," she said, her humour coming back a little.
"Do you know why I chose you?"
"Ignoring the weird connotations in that sentence, no."
"Because I saw someone extraordinary. Someone whose value was never seen. " The sophist looked back at Hawkgirl. "Memory may be a burden, but it's also a gift. I think you forgot that part and only focused on the bad. In all of human history, you are part of a select few who get to watch how their choices impact this world."
"And if I get tired of making choices?"
"Just make one. Choose to see tomorrow. It can be as small and simple as that. The question is, if this life were to end now, would you be happy with that choice? Or would you wish you held on just a little longer? For what it's worth, I think you're remarkable. Broken, but remarkable. Because every time you get back up, it's what you do and what you've always done. It's what makes you Hawkgirl."
"What if your expectations are wrong? That I'm not as remarkable as you say?"
"Question yourself about this. Have I ever given you a scenario you couldn't complete? You'll find the answer there." Sophist replied before teleporting away.
Hawkgirl was standing. Looking forwards. Towards Satanna. Towards her goons. She wiped away her tears and straightened herself.
She made a choice.
A choice to live till tomorrow.