"Alright, Sexy, where the hell are we?" I called out.
"Searching all known databases...information found. It seems we are in Manhattan. The year is 2008."
I sighed, "alright. Do you have knowledge of our world? Like history and stuff? Something that doesn't compare with our own world's past?"
"Apologies — I can access the internet for that information, but any information I obtain will be about this world, and I cannot make a comparison."
I hummed as I stepped up to the edge of the roof and looked down. Everything looked the same. "Alright. Tell me about this world. Does it have the Avengers?"
"Yes. The Avengers assembled in 1976 in this world, and as such they are significantly older."
I hummed, "alright. Sexy, check for Peter Parker."
"Searching...found. It seems Peter Parker is a forensic specialist for the New York Police Department. His wife, Mary Jane Watson-Parker, is a fashion designer and used to be a model. Their daughter is May Parker — she is currently studying at Midtown High."
I sighed, "oh good lord, I'm in the Spider-Girl universe. Fuck me in the ear." I sighed as I looked around. I needed to find a way back. Maybe I should just wait here? Reed should have fixed that machine by now, right?
I sat down on the roof and waited. And waited. And waited. But nothing ever came — no portal, no message, nothing.
I sighed. 'I need to find May. I need her help to get back home. Spyral — that's the guy who brought her to my world. Maybe he can help me do the same? I have to try...but maybe I should change my look first.' I looked down — I was still wearing a blue and red Captain America t-shirt and jeans. 'Actually...maybe I don't need to?'
"Sexy, can you get me some cash on hand?" I asked.
"Yes, Spider. I can. Simply connect me to the nearest ATM and I can do as you ask."
"Great — find me the nearest ATM, please," I said as I looked down into the alleyway below me.
"Found it. The nearest ATM is a block away," she replied.
"Thanks, Sexy." I took off my helmet and turned it into its tablet form. I walked around — people ignored me for the most part. Ah, New York: the same in every dimension. I found the ATM quickly. There was a small crowd, but I could deal with it.
When it was my turn at the ATM, I drew out the USB cable from my helmet and plugged it into the system, then waited.
"How much shall I withdraw?" Sexy asked.
"A thousand dollars, just to be safe," I whispered.
"Understood," she replied as the ATM quickly dispensed that amount.
"Oh, and erase the security camera footage of me," I looked up at the ATM camera staring me right in the face, "no trace of what we did here."
"Understood," she replied, quickly doing just that. I took the money and disconnected Sexy. People's eyes widened at the sight of so much cash, but I just smiled and tucked it away.
The first thing I did was buy myself some lunch from Subway — three foot-long subs. What can I say? Travelling through dimensions makes a guy hungry.
After lunch I set out to find May. The time was around eleven, meaning she would be in school right now. I took the bus, ending up at Midtown High in ten minutes, and I have to say it's kind of disappointing that this place hasn't changed even if it's in another dimension. I really hate this place.
I walked inside like I belonged — which, technically, I did. Does being registered in another universe count? I don't think so.
I looked around. People were unfamiliar to me, and judging by the looks they gave me, they knew I didn't belong. A few of the girls, however, did appreciate my presence. Guess even in this world I was hot. Yup, it was good being me.
It was lunch time, meaning May had to be somewhere in the cafeteria. I walked in and looked around. Where is she? Just then I noticed a head of platinum blonde hair walk by. I blinked — no way...no, it had to be a coincidence.
I tried to look around, but the hair was gone. I sighed. 'Either I'm going crazy or the world is...has to be the world. I'm perfect!' I kept looking around, and then I heard her voice: "a rhino charged into your home?! That has to be the lamest thing I have ever heard!"
I chuckled — my daughter, alright. I looked around and spotted her immediately. She was surrounded by people. A heavyset kid, a small skinny Asian kid, a chubby girl with glasses and brown hair in a ponytail, two blonde guys that looked like they hated each other's guts — and in the middle of it all was my would-be daughter, May Parker.
"You know what your problem is, Moose?" the skinny kid pointed at the big one, "you need to learn some respect! You can't just talk to us like that!"
"You going to make me?" Moose growled.
"And what if I am?" The kid got up as they both stared each other down.
"Oh, a gay couple — that's a nice change of pace," I called out as I walked up to them.
The entire group turned to me as one. May gasped as her eyes went wide in recognition, "d-d-Peter?!"
I grinned, "heya, kiddo! Fancy running into you here!"
"W-what are you doing here?!" she cried out as she got up and walked over to me, pulling me into a big hug.
I chuckled, "missed you too, May." I broke the hug and smiled, "it's a long story. Remember when you came to visit me? Well, basically the same thing happened to me. So now I need your help."
May blinked, "you...how?"
I grumbled and whispered, "Reed — cocky bastard thought he could fix everything. Big explosion, ended up here trying to save everyone. You know, the usual."
"Ah, May — who is this?" one of the blondes asked. I noticed people were now staring at us. Huh — May must be really popular.
"This ah, this is —" May tried to explain, but couldn't.
"I'm her cousin, Bruce. Bruce Wayne," I smiled, waving happily, "I was in town and I figured, hey, let's see what May's up to!"
One of the blonde boys raised an eyebrow, "Bruce? Then why did May call you Peter?"
I shrugged, "my middle name is Peter — I'm actually named after her dad. I prefer Bruce, but she knows calling me Peter pisses me off, so she does it."
"Right," the blonde narrowed his eyes.
"And you are?" I asked the guy.
"JJ," he replied defensively.
"I'm Carol!" the girl with the ponytail said with a smile, "I didn't know your cousin was coming, May!"
"Y-yeah, it was kind of sudden," May grabbed her bag, "I have to cut this short, guys — I'll see you tomorrow."
May grabbed me and pulled me away. "It was nice seeing you all! I hope Moose and his partner find true love!" I laughed as the two boys from before blushed, not willing to meet each other's eye.
May and I walked outside and she finally let go of me. I sighed, "sorry about dropping in on you like this, but I really don't know who else to talk to."
"It's fine," she replied, "it's just...I never expected to see you again."
I smiled, "you sound disappointed."
"Well, if I ever did see you again, that would mean the freaking world was being ripped apart!" May cried out before sighing, "sorry, been under a lot of stress lately."
I nodded, "understandable. Anyway, where's Spyral? He can help me get back home."
May stiffened, "he's...he's not here right now. He's kind of...missing."
I blinked, "explain, please."
"He broke out of prison."
"Fuck me," I groaned, "wait...Reed! You said you have an FF here, right? Is Reed still alive?"
May blinked, "ah, yeah. Do you want me to take you to them?"
I nodded, "yes, please!"
"Right," she looked around, "follow me." We quickly went into a dark alley and began to change into our uniforms. Again, seeing your would-be daughter change in front of you makes life very odd, to say the least.
When she was done, she turned to me — and I was still in my civilian clothes. May looked me over, "aren't you going to suit up?"
"No, I...my costume kind of got torn apart," I chuckled, unwilling to tell her the truth.
"Oh, damn," she scratched her head, "well, this is going to be difficult. I'm guessing you don't have your web-shooters either?"
I shook my head, "no, I don't."
"Damn," she sighed, "well, it's fine. I'll just have to swing you over. Do you have something to hide your face with? I don't think it would be a good idea for Spider-Girl to be seen with May Parker's cousin."
I took out my red tablet and grinned, "I have this."
"What does that —" May stopped as the tablet exploded around my face, forming a clean red metallic helmet, "okay, now that's cool."
"Thanks," I replied, "let's go!"
May nodded as she walked up and put an arm around my waist, pulling me close. "Hold on tight," she said as she leaped up, web-swinging away.
"Damn!" I cried out in excitement — I honestly missed this. I had to restrain myself from yelling out more, lest I draw attention to us. The city moved past so quickly. I observed familiar sights, though they seemed off somehow, like a picture missing a few shades.
"So this is your city, huh?" I called out as she swung us over a train, "I'll be honest with you — I don't like it."
May chuckled, "yeah, well it doesn't like you either, so don't get any ideas about staying!"
I smiled, "oh, what's the matter, honey? Don't like it when your daddy pops in to visit?"
"Okay — one, you ain't my dad, Bruce, so don't even think it. And two, I actually do have a dad in this world, so please stop calling yourself my dad."
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Think we can swing by your dad's workplace? I totally want to know how I look when I grow older." And maybe see the real Peter Parker...and maybe talk to a legend.
"No! Do you have any idea how freaked out my dad would be?!"
"Fine, fine — obviously you get your sense of adventure from your mother's side," I scoffed, "just tell me one thing. Do I go bald?"
"No, actually you have a beard."
"A real beard or a goatee?"
"Goatee."
"Really? Who is he trying to impersonate — Tony Stark? Moron." May laughed as we came up toward a building with a giant 5 on its side. "Woah, so when you said FF, you didn't mean Fantastic Four, did you?"
"Yup, that's the Fantastic Five," May replied as she swung by closer before pulling away and landing on a building opposite.
I sighed as she put me down, "why didn't you go in?"
"Ah, unlike your version of Earth, people here aren't exactly my best buddies. I mean, they know me and all, but we aren't BFFs. My dad is, but they don't know that I'm his kid."
"Why not?" I asked.
She shrugged, "if they knew, then...they would expect me to be like him."
I nodded, "I get it — you want to be your own hero. It's understandable. After all, who would want to take after a guy who wore spandex his entire superhero career?"
May snorted, "right."
"So how are we going to get their help?" I asked.
"Well, I was close enough to trip the proximity sensors, meaning," she pointed as a man in blue and black came flying out of the building and down to us.
I blinked, "who's that?"
"That's Franklin Richards," May told me, "he's Sue's son."
I blinked, "oh...he's not my kid, is he?"
"What? No! Why do you always assume that?!"
I shrugged, "just asked."
"Spider-Girl, it is nice to see you again," Franklin smiled before turning to me and narrowing his eyes, "and you are?"
"I'm a friend," I waved, "actually, I'm a version of her from another world — where she was a boy, a guy, instead of a girl. There are a lot of minor differences, but bottom line, I need a way back to my dimension. Think you guys can help me out?"
Franklin blinked, "that is...unexpected."
"Yeah, tell me about it," May scoffed.
"Where's your costume?" Franklin asked, noting my civilian attire.
I sighed, rubbing my neck, "it kind of got torn to shreds. Anyway, I was hoping your version of Reed Richards could help me out. Ah — you do have a Reed Richards in this world, right? He's not dead or anything?"
Franklin chuckled, "no, he's fine. Well...I wouldn't say fine, but Dad is adapting."
"Wait...you're Reed's son?!" I cried out in fake shock, since there was no Franklin Richards in my world.
Franklin nodded, "yeah — I thought this world was similar to yours."
I shook my head, "no. In my world there's no Fantastic Five — it's still Four. And everyone's much younger. Well, Sue and Reed are like your age, so I'm guessing they're a lot older here, right?"
Franklin nodded, "yeah...you talk as if you know my parents."
I nodded, "in my world I worked for the Baxter Foundation. Sue — your mom...God, that's weird to say — she sort of hired me on. I work with my version of your team."
Franklin's eyes widened, "oh, really? That's fascinating."
I scoffed, "you don't believe me, do you?"
Franklin chuckled, "no, not really. Sorry."
I shrugged, "no problem. Here," I took out my phone and looked through my gallery, finding a photo of me in costume with the rest of my FF. Johnny and Ben were holding each other's shoulders while Reed held the camera out with his elongated arm. Sue and I were in the middle, with Sue leaning a little too close to me to be considered normal.
I showed Franklin the picture and the boy's eyes went wide, "holy shit."
I chuckled, "yup. Does this get me an all-access pass with Reed, or do I need more proof? I can tell you where Johnny hides his porn collection if you want."
"Ah, no — this is, ah, this is enough, I think," Franklin groaned, "woah, I never realised they could look this young."
"Yeah, threw me for a spin too," May said with a shrug, "did you know Johnny hit on me? Like, I walk in and the first thing he says is, 'hey babe, how you doing?' So creepy!"
"Wait — Uncle Johnny hit on you?" Franklin asked in disbelief.
I snorted, "yeah, he's kind of a horn dog."
Franklin blinked, "okay, I think it's time I brought you inside." I nodded as we followed Franklin up the side of the building and entered through the veranda doors into a much more high-tech-looking interior.
"Okay, this is new," I replied, looking around at the lounge. It was far more advanced — high-tech boards, advanced pieces of tech everywhere, fancy-looking couches without a single wrinkle on them, and even a wall-sized TV.
"Welcome to the Baxter Foundation," Franklin motioned, "we usually have more people working around, but we gave people the day off. A flu's been going around and we didn't want anything to get infected."
I looked around, "my version is a lot cooler."
Franklin raised an eyebrow, "does yours have a quantum field generator that can create an impenetrable field?"
"No, but we have twenty-five boxes of frozen pizza, couches that actually look comfortable, and a foosball table."
"...Okay, that does sound cool."
"When did you get a foosball table?" May asked.
"Oh, after Doom blew our old place up we did some remodelling. Johnny insisted on a foosball table — Sue couldn't take it anymore and said yes," I shrugged.
"Wait, Doom blew you guys up?" Franklin asked in disbelief, "that's impossible! Doom's been gone for over fifteen years!"
"Different world, different Doom," I shrugged, "and believe me — if he's anything like your Doom, he's an asshole."
"Sounds like Doom alright," came a familiar rumbling voice as a version of Ben Grimm walked in, sporting a metallic left arm.
"Ben!" I smiled, "damn, it's nice to see a friendly face!"
Ben stopped and looked me over, "web head?"
I chuckled, "ah, no — not exactly."
Franklin quickly caught Ben up, who then turned to me with narrowed eyes, "nah, I don't believe it. You ain't some kid — I know that voice anywhere. It's you, isn't it, Peter?"
May froze, and so did I. But slowly I chuckled, "damn, even in another world I can't seem to hide anything from you." I unlocked my helmet and took it off, flashing Ben a smile, "heya, Ben."
Ben's eyes went wide, "kid? B-but how? You look exactly the same!"
"What's going on here?" Franklin asked defensively, rising into the air with his eyes beginning to glow, "who the hell are you?! Did you trick me?!"
"Woah there, Franklin — calm down," May stepped up, "this isn't a trick or anything. Just let him explain."
I sighed, "I am...I was — or rather, in my world, I was Spider-Man. The original one. I didn't want to tell you who I really was because the version of me living on this world probably wouldn't want me to. But since Ben figured it out," I smiled, "sorry for lying, Franky — I honestly didn't mean anything by it."
Franklin narrowed his eyes and turned to Ben, "you know this guy, Uncle Ben?"
Ben nodded, "yeah, he's the original web head alright. Though the lack of costume is confusing."
I shrugged, "it got torn up into pieces. Besides, which moron wears spandex as a costume?" I noticed Franklin's costume and sighed, "never mind."
"What's going on here?" came another familiar voice as a blonde-haired man walked in, followed by a green woman with lines running down her chin. He looked at me and stopped, "P-Pete?"
I grinned, "heya, Johnny! Long time no see! Look at you — forty years old and you still look like a moron. Isn't age supposed to make you wise or something?"
Johnny blinked, turning to Franklin, then back at me. He sighed and rubbed his nose, "time travel or alternate dimension?"
I smiled, "alternate dimension. But I'm the same web head you know. Kind of."
Johnny sighed, "it's never easy with you."
May looked at Johnny and me, "you two are way too relaxed about this."
"You get used to it," we replied as one.
Franklin blinked as he landed next to May, "my family's so weird."
I looked at Johnny and then glanced over his shoulder, spotting the green-skinned woman behind him wearing a purple version of the FF uniform. I blinked, "hey ah, Johnny — don't want to alarm you, but the Grinch is behind you and she's wearing your uniform."
Johnny growled, "Peter, that's my wife!"
I blinked. I looked at her and then at him, "she's too pretty for you."
The woman chuckled, "I like him already."
"Peter, meet Lyja — she's a Skrull," Johnny said as she and I shook hands.
"A what? Is that a type of mutant or something?" I asked in feigned confusion.
Johnny blinked, "you don't know about the Skrulls? Have they invaded your Earth yet?"
"No...should I be worried?" I asked, eyeing Lyja.
"No, no...look, maybe it's time we talked to Reed," Johnny said, walking away, "he'll know what to do."
I nodded as we all walked behind him, "so...never could grow that beard, huh?"
Lyja smirked, "he tried to. I convinced him otherwise."
"Oh, this I've got to hear."
We walked into Reed's lab — surprisingly the same one my version used. Johnny walked in and I was amazed at everything inside. I couldn't even begin to understand what half of it did, but then again, when it came to Reed, he was always a few steps ahead.
"Johnny, Franklin, Ben, Lyja — what brings you to my lab?" a robotic voice asked as an android the size of my waist came floating down. It was grey, shaped like one of those grey aliens people always went on about.
I blinked, "Reed?"
The machine looked at me — there was no facial expression. I could only detect surprise from his tone of voice, "Peter? Is that you?"
"Alternate dimension," Johnny explained in one line, "think you can help him?"
Reed looked at me, "I shall try. Please," he motioned me to a table.
I looked him over carefully as I hopped on, placing my helmet aside and waiting as Reed began to manoeuvre several different machines around himself, each humming away.
"So...you're a robot?" I asked.
Reed nodded, "indeed. My human body perished. My brain was preserved and is held within this robotic suit."
"And...Sue's just fine with that?" I asked.
Reed stopped for a moment before continuing, "Sue died trying to save me."
I was truly surprised — this detail I didn't know. "What?"
"There was...an accident," Johnny explained, "she saved all of us."
"Girl had to go be a hero," Ben grumbled, looking down in sadness.
I blinked, "shit...I'm going to have to tell my version about the risks of being a hero."
Reed looked at me, "you have a Sue Storm where you are from?"
I nodded, "yeah, and a Reed Richards and a Ben Grimm and a Johnny Storm. And your doppelganger on my Earth is the reason I'm here. The stupid moron built an inter-dimensional travel machine but made the firewalls so easy to hack that it took Doom ten seconds to break in."
"I see. I apologise for his actions," Reed replied coldly.
"Forget it. I learned a long time ago that when dealing with Reed Richards, you should forgive and forget. Makes life so much easier," I sighed.
Reed nodded. He turned to Spider-Girl, "and what is your relation to Peter?"
May blinked in surprise, "ah, I kind of came to his world first. When I was chasing after Spyral, remember? He's the one who helped me come back."
"I see," Reed replied as he looked at me. He stepped back to his terminal and began typing away.
I turned to Franklin, "you have her hair."
Franklin blinked, "ah, thanks."
I smiled. I took out my phone and snapped a picture of them all, "when I show Sue this she's going to freak out. I can imagine it now — five minutes about how cute her son is, and another ten minutes rambling about how unfair it is that her son has better hair than her."
"Heh, your Sue sounds like a real firecracker," Ben chuckled.
I shrugged, "you're telling me."
"Wait — that's a phone?!" Johnny asked, snatching my smartphone out of my hands.
"Hey! Watch it, man!"
"This thing looks high tech!" Johnny said, looking it over, "touchscreen, camera and...hm, this is a much better version than anything we have in the market in our world."
"That's because our timelines are also out of sync," I said, grabbing the phone back, "in my world the time is 2012 — here it's 2008. Obviously our tech is also different in certain areas."
"Peter," Reed suddenly spoke up, "are you currently aware that your cells have been dosed with nearly fatal levels of radiation?"
"What?!" May cried out in shock.
Reed pushed a display monitor over, showing his readings, and in the middle, in big bold words, was one string of words:
Blood Toxicity Level: 89%
I sighed, "yeah...I know." The Mutant Spider project was killing me. The only reason I was still alive was because Logan's mutagene allowed me to heal the damage the radiation caused. It wasn't fatal...but I was in danger.
"How are you not dead?!" Franklin cried out in shock.
I shrugged, "my body is siphoning out the radiation — I'll be fine."
"By my calculations, it will take ten months for your body to fully recover," Reed replied, "but I cannot understand why. What caused this change in you, Peter? It's highly irregular compared to our own version's powers."
"I'm not your version," I replied with a shrug, "my blood has a...unique property. I can adapt the powers of other people if I come into contact with an irradiated aerosol version of their blood. It allows me to adapt their powers, to a certain degree." I looked to May — the girl looked surprised.
"Any power?" Franklin asked curiously.
I shrugged, "as far as I know, yes. But it's sort of like a lottery. I don't get all of the original's powers, and it's usually not in the same manner. It's not an exact science."
"I have good news and bad news," Reed's robotic voice cut in.
"Good news?" I asked.
"You passed through a chrono-limited field. Your version of me obviously knew what he was doing. Anyone who passed through his portal machine would automatically return to their original world. Nothing can stop that."
"That's great news!" May cried out, "you can go back — no problem!"
"What's the bad news?" I asked in a cautious tone.
"I cannot determine the time you have remaining. It could be one day. It could be a year."
"What?!"