"Ben, are you unwell?" Shirin asked. "You seem zoned out."
"Oh, my apologies. I was just lost in thought," Benjamin replied, letting out a feigned chuckle to hide his discomfort.
"We're planning to visit the market today. Did you want to join us?"
Benjamin didn't want to go with them. He craved the freedom to browse alone. Arcadia was famous for its trade ports, offering unique items from the far corners of the world. He wanted to talk to different travelers and buy souvenirs for the attendants, Madam Wagner, and his other patients. Most of them had never traveled beyond the outskirts of Aster, let alone crossed the borders of Isadora. He wanted to bring them a piece of the world from beyond those borders.
Benjamin hated the idea of going as part of a royal envoy, but he knew he couldn't refuse. If they found him wandering the streets by himself later, it would be disastrous. He also needed to get souvenirs while he had the chance.
"That sounds wonderful," Benjamin said. He found Shirin's gaze exhausting and terrifying at the same time.
Wren had left his number with Benjamin before he had departed. Benjamin called him to see if he could join them at the market. He couldn't bear the thought of walking alone, trailing behind Shirin who would be occupied with Charles, and Sofia with Zaid.
Wren was surprised to receive the call since they were scheduled to meet the following day, but he was happy to move their plans up.
When Benjamin informed Charles that Wren would be joining them at the market, Charles pouted. "Why?"
"It would be nice to have someone to walk around with."
"What for? You have me and Zaid," Charles said, seemingly oblivious to how closely Shirin had attached herself to him all day. She had found every excuse to remain near him.
Benjamin didn't want to argue. "The more the merrier," he said dryly.
However, Benjamin was wrong about one thing. When they boarded the carriage, Shirin and Zaid entered first, followed by Sofia and Charles. When Benjamin finally got on, Charles insisted he sit right next to him, even tugging at his sleeve. Embarrassed, Benjamin sat down, feeling Shirin's gaze fixed on him once again. He hated the feeling and wished he could be anywhere else.
To Benjamin's dismay, the market had been closed off from the public for their visit. Escorted by both Imperial and Isadoran guards, the group made their way toward the stalls.
Wren was already waiting for them. Once again, Charles tried to walk by Benjamin's side, but this time Shirin stepped firmly between them. Noticing this, Benjamin and Wren decided to explore on their own and slipped away from the group.
By the time they returned, Benjamin had bought so many things that Wren had to help him carry the bags. The rest of the group was surprised to see all the bags.
Charles immediately walked over to help. "Sorry, they're all my things," Benjamin said.
"Who are these for?" Zaid asked, also stepping forward to assist.
"They're for my patients," Benjamin explained. "Not many of them have had the chance to travel, and I wanted to bring something back for them."
"You're so thoughtful, Benjamin," Sofia said warmly.
"Truly! I wish you were my doctor," Zaid said with a big smile.
Shirin called over the palace staff to take the bags, and though Charles was reluctant to let go, he eventually gave in at Shirin's insistence.
"Tomorrow evening, would you like to go on a boat ride in the evening?" Wren asked Benjamin. "We can watch the sun setting."
Benjamin was worried that the boat's rocking would exacerbate his nausea. "To be honest, I'd rather take a walk on the beach."
"That sounds good too. The beach is about an hour away. I'll pick you up at the palace around four."
"I'd really appreciate that, Wren. You're too kind to me." Benjamin was genuinely grateful. Anything that got him away from the palace walls was a relief.
Later that evening, Benjamin found Charles in his room, yet again, uninvited. Benjamin told him of his plans for the beach.
Charles nodded, no longer surprised. "I'm coming with. Four o'clock works for me. I only have a meeting in the morning."
Benjamin shook his head. "You should stay at the palace. You've probably been to that beach a dozen times."
"So what? I've never been there with you."
Benjamin felt irritated, but he tried his best to keep calm. "It would be great if you could give me some space, Charles… I came here at your request," Benjamin paused. "And the Emperor's…"
Charles didn't look up and remained quiet.
"If you could just give me some breathing room... I'd be grateful," Benjamin said, softer now.
Charles looked sullen. He refused to meet Benjamin's eyes. His first two plans to break off the engagement were already crumbling. At breakfast this morning, both the Emperor and Empress spoke fondly of him and Shirin, often mentioning that they were a great team. And then, there was Shirin herself. Shirin was relentless. She hadn't let him out of her sight since he arrived. The only time she had left him alone was when he returned to his room. And just this morning, she had come to find him.
Charles had to ask his guards to keep an eye out for her to warn him of her arrival. It was clear now that Shirin had set her sights on him. The idea of subtly introducing her to another match seemed impossible. He wondered if it was time to talk to Zaid, even if it meant Zaid would have to find a partner to bear an heir. Charles was worried given the rumors that Zaid had never shown romantic interest in anyone.
Charles nodded slowly. He knew Benjamin was right. Unless he could break the engagement, what right did he have to intrude? But he didn't want to leave. This was the only time they could be alone.
"I'm really sorry... about all this. If you need anything, I'm just next door," Charles said quietly as he got up to go.
"Thank you, Charles," was all Benjamin could muster. Beneath his irritation was a deep sadness that left a heavy and empty feeling in his chest.
Only after Charles left did Benjamin retrieve the envelope he had hidden under his pillowcase earlier. It was a letter from the Emperor, requesting a meeting after breakfast tomorrow.
Benjamin lay in bed for a long time, his eyes closed but mind racing. He wondered when this would all end. For a moment, he wished he wouldn't wake up at all. He wondered if he should travel to Shen Zhou once this assignment was over. This assignment, which was supposed to take two years at most, continued to stretch on without an end in sight.