Prelude:
Inner Monologue:"If I die, please let my browser history be deleted. And let my manager be reincarnated as a low-level mob in a gacha game with a 0.001% drop rate."
My name is Ichirou. Or Satou. At this point, I don't even know which one is real.
I've been staring at C++ code for thirty hours straight because a junior programmer decided that "mental health" was more important than the launch of Monster Galaxy. Weak. I mean, he's right, but now I'm the one debugging his spaghetti code while my soul attempts to leave my body through my tear ducts.
Inner Monologue:"Just one more fix. One more compile. Then I go home, eat a convenience store bento, and sleep for three days. Or forever. Forever sounds good too."
The project was finally uploaded. The "Death March" was over. My brain felt like it had been put through a woodchipper and then soaked in cheap coffee. I couldn't even sleep. My heart was doing this weird drum solo against my ribs.
To calm down, I opened my phone. I needed my comfort food: the web novel Let Me Game in Peace. I loved Zhou Wen. He was the hero every lazy person dreamed of—playing games to get stronger.
"Man, if I had that phone... I'd never leave my bed. I'd just farm until I was a god and then hire someone to feed me grapes."
The words on the screen started to blur. The black text began to swim like ants. My chest tightened—a sharp, electric snap.
Inner Monologue:"Oh. So this is it. Death by overwork. At least I finished the debug. My bonus better be—wait, I won't be able to spend it. DAMMIT!"
Darkness.
[Initializing EXTREME LIFE SYSTEM — UNLIMITED VERSION]
[Searching for Host... Bound: Satou]
[Primary Directive: Ensure Optimal Existence]
"Who's talking? Is this a dream? It sounds like the system we designed for the RPG, but... colder. Less bugs."
[Body Reconstruction: Complete.]
[Timeline Synchronization: 17 Years Prior to Plot Start.]
[Location: Zhou Household, Guide City.]
My eyes snapped open. The ceiling was different. It wasn't the acoustic tiles of the office. It was plain, clean, and… familiar?
I sat up, and my joints didn't creak. My back didn't hurt. I looked at my hands—they were small. Smooth. Not the calloused, caffeine-shaking hands of a 30-year-old developer.
"Satou! Zhou Wen! Breakfast is ready!" a man's voice called from downstairs.
Inner Monologue:"Zhou Wen? As in... THE Zhou Wen? And did he just call me Satou? That's my nickname. My handle. My curse."
I scrambled out of bed and caught my reflection in the mirror. I looked like a teenager. Maybe sixteen. Beside me, on the other bed in the room, a boy with calm, indifferent eyes was putting on his school uniform.
That was Zhou Wen. The "Human Tool" himself.
Inner Monologue:"Holy crap, I'm his brother? Adopted? Okay, okay. Think, Satou. You know this world. It's dangerous. Dimensional zones, cocoons, gods that want to eat your soul. I wanted a comfortable life, not a front-row seat to the apocalypse!"
[Optimization Core Active]
[Current Reality: Sub-optimal. Host is currently 'Mortal' rank. Survival probability: 0.0003%.]
"System?" I thought, my heart racing. "You're real?"
[I am the Extreme Life System. I decide reality in your favor.]
[Observation System Engaged:]
Target: Zhou Wen
Life Level: Mortal
Hidden Status: [High Resonance with Dimensional Energy]
Inner Monologue:"Wait, the system says I can copy anything? No limits? No degradation? Zhou Wen is right there. He's going to be the strongest being in existence."
I looked at my 'brother.' He was staring at me, probably wondering why I was looking at him like a hungry wolf.
"Are you okay, Satou?" Zhou Wen asked, his voice steady. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"I'm fine," I said, a slow, predatory grin spreading across my face. "I just realized that I'm never going to have to work a 'Death March' ever again."
[Passive Copy Triggered]
[Analyzing: Zhou Wen...]
[Detected: Innate Talent - Calm Mind]
[Detected: Potential - Sovereign Breath]
[Copying... Success.]
[Integration... Permanent.]
A wave of absolute coolness washed over my brain. The panic? Gone. The fear? Calculated.
Inner Monologue:"Oh, this is going to be better than a bonus check. Zhou Wen, you go ahead and save the world with your phone. I'm just going to sit back, copy your homework, and become the richest, laziest god this dimension has ever seen."
I walked downstairs, my mind already running inner monologues like a frantic narrator.
Inner Monologue:"First step: Get money. Second step: Get a bed that feels like a cloud. Third step: Ensure no one ever interrupts my nap. System, let's optimize the hell out of this life."