The Liquidation of the Divine Army
The market square had been completely transformed into an
aggressive corporate slaughterhouse. The heavy, rhythmic roaring of Malesh's
gas-powered chainsaw echoed off the stone walls as he efficiently downsized the
remaining holy vanguard. Meanwhile, Kniya, Filoska, and Salesh maintained a
continuous, brutal line of suppressing fire with their R-57 rifles.
The advanced ballistic technology, seamlessly powered by
their infinite magical supply chain, was absolutely devastating. Within
minutes, the once-terrifying legion of armored knights was completely wiped
out.
However, as the smoke cleared, Kniya noticed movement near
the town borders. A single, heavily bruised guard had managed to crawl away
from the crossfire and was now frantically sprinting out of the town gates,
running for his life.
Kniya popped his gum, resting his R-57 rifle on his
shoulder. "Well, one idiot successfully escaped. He is definitely going to
tell the King by today. The kingdom is probably not very far from here, and
that King is absolutely going to bring his fucking massive army here to destroy
us."
"Let him bring them," Malesh panted, turning off
the bloody chainsaw.
"Exactly," Kniya smirked. "What the fuck is
he going to do? We finally won this highly unbalanced war using absolute
technology. Well, technology efficiently combined with magic. It is the
ultimate market disruptor."
Kniya turned to the crowd of terrified, awestruck villagers
hiding behind the ruined cabbage carts.
"Hey! You!" Kniya yelled, pointing at a random
peasant. "What is the exact distance between this village and the King's
royal palace?"
The villager shakily stood up, bowing deeply. "My
Lord... the journey takes approximately one day."
A deeply painful, visibly angry twitch violently spasmed
across Malesh's eye. He just stood there, staring at the peasant, while an
absolutely furious internal monologue raged inside his head.
(Malesh's Internal Monologue: "One day?! What the
actual fuck kind of mathematically bankrupt measurement is 'one day'?! Can
someone in this primitive shithole be so entirely illiterate that they
calculate distance in daylight?! Can't he just state the exact distance in
kilometers?! Or meters?! Yards?! Inches?! Centimeters?! Millimeters?! What the
fuck is one day?! What is your average walking speed?! Are we factoring in
water breaks?! How can we legally plan a military defense when we don't even
know the geographic coordinates?!")
Sensing that Malesh was about to start screaming about the
metric system, Salesh quickly stepped back up to the microphone.
"Alright, everyone, listen up!" Salesh announced
to the crowd. "In a few days, we will be officially organizing the new
democratic elections! But for now, we need to protect this town's newly
acquired freedom. Everyone is required to immediately clean up this mess and
continue your daily commercial operations! Get back to work!"
Strategic Planning Under the Tree
Wanting to avoid the panicked crowd, the four billionaires successfully relocated to a quiet grassy hill just outside the town walls. They sat down in the shade beneath a massive oak tree to conduct a highly urgent board meeting regarding their impending war.
"We need to aggressively finalize a strategy," Kniya stated, casually leaning against the tree trunk. "We need to do something about this Dick Prince's father. If we don't execute a preemptive strike on the King at the first opportunity, he is going to ruin this village with his fucking huge army. We need to find some political leverage against him, or just violently assassinate him."
Filoska groaned, aggressively rubbing her temples.
"Why the hell are we even present in this world?!" Filoska complained, her voice dripping with sheer corporate exhaustion. "This is a total administrative headache! First, we forcefully change the entire governmental system, and now we have to legally save the system from an angry monarch?!"
"I completely agree with Filoska," Salesh sighed, dropping his head into his hands. "I am the President of Salvesh Industries! I am highly trained in corporate mergers, not medieval siege warfare! We don't have the logistical infrastructure to fight an entire kingdom!"
"Exactly!" Filoska agreed, crossing her arms furiously. "I was an executive Vice President! If I break a single acrylic nail fighting a King's army in the dirt, I am literally going to sue whoever reincarnated us for massive workplace endangerment!"
The Teleportation Assault
As they were complaining about their lack of military resources, a young village girl suddenly came running up the hill toward them. She was carrying a small basket of bread to offer them, but she tripped on a tree root. With a yelp, she fell hard into the grass right at Malesh's feet.
The girl looked up at Malesh with wide, pleading eyes, silently hoping the wealthy man in the suit would help her stand up.
Malesh looked down at her, but his expression instantly froze into a blank, highly distressed stare.
(Malesh's Internal Monologue: "I absolutely cannot help her stand up. If I physically lean forward to grab her hand, the geometric angle of my vision will align perfectly with her neckline. I will see a big thing... a big thing filled with water. No, no, no. Humans aren't filled with water. It is filled with blood. Pumping organs and highly disturbing biological fluids. Oh, fucking shit, why is my mind so incredibly fucked right now?!")
Filoska, sitting directly across from him, took one look at Malesh's frozen, wide-eyed, highly suspicious facial expression and instantly figured it out.
"You fucking pervert!" Filoska shrieked, jumping to her feet. "What the actual fuck are you thinking about right now?!"
Filoska aggressively wound up her fist and threw a devastating punch aimed right at Malesh's jaw.
Reacting with pure adrenaline, Malesh instantly grabbed the girl by the arm, yanked her up to her feet, and rapidly ducked backward, successfully dodging Filoska's punch by a millimeter.
"Missed me!" Malesh yelled, thinking he was safe.
But Filoska's powers had evolved too.
As Malesh leaned back to gloat, Filoska's body suddenly glitched out of reality. With a sharp, cracking sound, she instantly teleported directly behind Malesh. Before he could even process the spatial anomaly, she delivered a catastrophic, full-force punch directly into the back of his head.
CRACK!
Malesh violently collapsed forward, his face slamming directly into the dirt. He groaned in absolute agony, spitting a highly concerning amount of real, physical blood onto the grass.
Desperate, Malesh weakly reached his hand out, grabbing onto Kniya's tailored pant leg for support to pull himself up.
Kniya looked down at him with utter disgust. "Get off me, you idiot." Kniya violently kicked his leg out, throwing Malesh back into the dirt.
Malesh clutched his bleeding mouth, looking up at Filoska with extreme indignation.
"I literally never said a single fucking word!" Malesh complained, his voice muffled by the blood. "Why are you always aggressively convicting me just from my facial expressions?! That is circumstantial evidence! It is not true! You cannot legally assault me based on a mind-reading assumption!"
The Teleportation Discovery
Malesh stayed on the ground for a moment, groaning as he wiped the blood from his chin. Despite the severe head trauma, his highly analytical brain was already processing the physics of what had just happened.
"So, let me get this straight," Malesh mumbled, slowly sitting up in the dirt. "You just glitched completely out of reality and appeared out of nowhere right in the exact spot I was dodging into. Which mathematically means we now officially know what your executive power is. You have a fucking teleportation power."
WHAM!
Without a second of hesitation, Filoska delivered another swift, brutal punch directly to Malesh's jaw.
Malesh collapsed back into the grass, clutching his face in absolute agony.
"What the fuck, Filoska?!" Malesh cried out, completely bewildered. "Why are you so aggressively angry at me?! Kniya constantly says way more offensive shit than I do! Why am I the only guy in this entire corporate structure who is constantly getting beaten?! This is a highly biased and hostile work environment! This is so sad!"
Kniya casually popped his mint gum, looking down at his bleeding CEO.
"Stand up, Malesh," Kniya ordered, completely unsympathetic. "You are not some pretty princess. Dust off your suit. We have a corporate war to plan."
Malesh sighed heavily, grabbing onto the tree trunk to pull himself up. He dusted off his pristine, albeit slightly blood-stained, white shirt and adjusted his dragon-themed tie.
"Okay. Fine. It is really hurting right now, but let's focus on the business at hand," Malesh winced. "Before the King can organize a retaliatory attack, the best strategy is that we attack them first. Attacking first would be a much better strategy to seize market control. We need to put his ass directly into this matter. It would be best for us to utilize Filoska's new teleportation powers to go straight to his palace."
Salesh nervously raised his hand. "Wait, you want us to just teleport directly inside a highly guarded royal fortress?!"
"No, Salesh, we are not going directly inside the palace, that is a terrible tactical risk," Malesh corrected. "We will just visit the immediate exterior of the palace first to note down the geographical structure and survey their defensive assets."