Jaewon sits slumped at the edge of Seo Young's couch, a half-finished bowl of rice growing cold in his hands. The television murmurs in the background, some variety show playing to an empty room. He chews without tasting, eyes unfocused, as though the simple act of eating requires more effort than he can spare.
Seo Young's apartment is neat and warm, filled with the faint scent of detergent and brewed coffee. It is the kind of place meant for comfort. Still, Jaewon has never felt more displaced.
He has been staying here for months now. Months since that last dinner. Months since Taesan stood across from him in that immaculate black suit and calmly ended everything they had once been to each other. Months since Joshua followed him out the door without a single glance back.
Jaewon sets the bowl down on the coffee table and leans his head against the back of the couch. He tells himself he is trying. He has gone back to classes. He meets Maya and Chan when they ask. He answers messages he would rather ignore. He laughs when expected.
But every day ends the same way. In silence. In the hollow space Taesan used to occupy.
From the kitchen, Seo Young hums softly while opening the refrigerator. "You're not eating," he calls out. "I ordered from that place you like."
Jaewon forces a response. "I will. I'm just not that hungry."
"That's what you said yesterday."
Jaewon does not answer.
The truth is hunger feels irrelevant. The ache in his chest dulls everything else.
He reaches for the remote and begins flipping channels without looking. News, commercials, dramas. Faces blur together. Words pass without meaning. He is about to switch again when a familiar name lands sharply in his ears.
"Breaking news," the anchor says brightly. "Jeon Taesan, newly appointed CEO of Altrion Group, and his partner, Joshua Hong, have announced their wedding plans for next year."
Jaewon's thumb freezes over the remote.
On screen, Taesan appears in a formal press photo. He stands beside Joshua, both dressed in tailored suits, their shoulders nearly touching. Taesan's expression is composed but warmer than Jaewon remembers. Joshua looks steady, confident, his hand resting lightly at Taesan's back.
"The couple," the anchor continues, smiling, "have become one of the most admired business pairs this year. Their relationship, now entering its second year, has drawn public attention for their mutual support and shared leadership. The wedding is expected to be one of the most significant events next season."
Jaewon's breath leaves him in a slow, uneven exhale.
Married.
The word echoes louder than the rest.
Seo Young steps into the living room carrying a glass of water. "What are you watching?" he asks casually. Then he follows Jaewon's gaze to the television.
He stops mid-step.
Neither of them speak for a few seconds.
Jaewon feels as though the walls have shifted closer. The air is too thick. Too heavy. He presses his palm against his chest as if he can physically steady his heart.
On the screen, Taesan is smiling at Joshua. It is not a forced expression. It is not polite. It is genuine.
That smile used to be rare.
Jaewon swallows hard. His throat burns. He lowers the remote slowly onto the table.
Seo Young sets the water down in front of him. "Jaewon."
"I'm fine," Jaewon says immediately, though his voice sounds distant even to himself.
Seo Young studies him. "You don't look fine."
The news segment ends, transitioning to a political update. Jaewon does not notice. His mind is stuck on the image of Taesan's hand resting near Joshua's waist, comfortable and certain.
Married.
It is final in a way nothing else has been. Dating could end. Announcements could change. Marriage feels permanent. Solid.
A life built without him.
Seo Young sits down across from him at the small dining table. "Do you want me to turn it off?"
Jaewon shakes his head. "It doesn't matter."
But it does. It matters more than he wants to admit.
Seo Young folds his arms loosely. "You've been carrying this for months."
Jaewon lets out a strained laugh. "I thought it would get easier."
"And did it?"
He looks down at his hands. They are trembling slightly. He presses them together to hide it. "No."
Seo Young sighs. "You know I'm going to ask."
Jaewon closes his eyes briefly. "Yeah. It's about him."
There is no point pretending otherwise.
Seo Young leans back in his chair. "I figured. You've been somewhere else lately. Even when you're sitting right in front of me."
Jaewon's jaw tightens. "They're getting married."
"I heard."
"He looks happy."
Seo Young pauses. "He does."
The honesty stings, but Jaewon appreciates it.
"I thought maybe," Jaewon begins slowly, "maybe he would move on, but not like this. Not completely." He laughs under his breath. "That sounds selfish, doesn't it?"
"It sounds human," Seo Young replies.
Jaewon rubs his face with both hands. "I keep thinking about that last night. Everything I said. Everything I didn't say." His voice lowers. "I thought we had time."
"Time for what?"
"To fix it. To talk again." He hesitates. "To apologize properly."
Seo Young studies him carefully. "Do you regret it?"
Jaewon's eyes lift sharply. "Of course I regret it."
"No," Seo Young says gently. "I mean before that. The way you treated him."
The question lands heavily.
Jaewon looks away. "I didn't think I was hurting him that much."
"But you were."
"Yes." The word comes out quietly. "I see that now."
The room falls into silence again, but it is not empty. It is filled with everything Jaewon wishes he could undo.
"I let my pride decide everything," he continues. "I thought he would always stay. That no matter what I did, he would forgive me." His lips press into a thin line. "I didn't realize he was reaching a breaking point."
Seo Young nods slowly. "People don't leave suddenly. They leave after they've tried staying."
Jaewon absorbs that. It feels true.
"I pushed him away," Jaewon says. "And when he finally walked out, I acted like he betrayed me." His voice wavers. "I was the one who betrayed him first."
Seo Young's expression softens. "You were young. You were stupid. That doesn't make you unforgivable."
"But it makes him gone."
Seo Young does not argue with that.
Jaewon stands abruptly and walks to the window. Outside, the city glows in distant lights. Cars move steadily along the road. Life continues without pause.
"I keep thinking," he says quietly, "if I had just swallowed my ego one time. If I had listened when he tried to talk." His throat tightens. "Would he still be here?"
Seo Young joins him by the window. "Maybe. Maybe not. You can't rewrite it now."
Jaewon lets out a breath that feels closer to a sob. "I don't even know who I am without him."
"You're still you."
"I don't like who that is."
Seo Young turns to face him fully. "Then change."
Jaewon looks at him, startled.
"Not for him," Seo Young continues. "Not to win him back. Change because you don't want to repeat this again. With anyone."
Jaewon considers that. The idea feels distant but not impossible.
"They're building companies together," Jaewon murmurs. "Planning a wedding. Standing in front of cameras." He laughs weakly. "And I'm here, hiding from a television."
"You're healing," Seo Young corrects. "Even if it's slow."
"It doesn't feel like healing."
"It never does."
Jaewon presses his forehead lightly against the cool glass of the window. "Do you think he ever thinks about me?"
Seo Young is quiet for a moment. "Probably. Just not the way you want him to."
That answer hurts, but it is fair.
Jaewon closes his eyes. "I used to call him hyung like it meant something sacred." His voice lowers to a whisper. "I treated him like he would never leave."
"And now?"
"Now I don't even have the right to say his name out loud."
Seo Young places a hand on his shoulder. "You have the right to remember. You just don't have the right to hold him back."
The words settle slowly.
Jaewon returns to the couch and sits down again. The apartment feels quieter now. The television screen has shifted to another program entirely, but he no longer hears it.
"They're getting married," he repeats, softer this time.
"Yes."
"And I'm not part of that future."
"No."
The finality of it presses down on him, but something beneath the pain shifts. Not acceptance yet, but understanding.
"I loved him," Jaewon says, almost to himself.
"I know."
"I just didn't know how to love him properly."
Seo Young squeezes his shoulder once before stepping away. "Then learn," he says gently. "So next time, you do."
Jaewon nods faintly. The ache remains, sharp and relentless, but there is clarity in it now. Taesan has chosen his path. Joshua stands beside him. That chapter is closed, whether Jaewon likes it or not.
He leans back into the couch, staring at the ceiling.
Forgiving Taesan might be impossible. Forgiving himself feels even harder.
But somewhere beneath the grief, a quiet realization forms.
If he continues living in this regret, then he truly will lose everything.
Taesan has moved forward.
Perhaps it is time Jaewon learns how to take a single step as well.
——————— TO BE CONTINUED