Chapter 38: The Great Escapologist and the Brotherhood of Suffering
The alleyway was silent, the air thick with the scent of ozone and the looming threat of absolute destruction. Rias Gremory stood like a goddess of wrath, her crimson aura painting the concrete walls in shades of blood. Behind her, Akeno, Yubelluna, and Tamamo formed a wall of high-tier demonic power.
Lucian Gremory, however, didn't look like a man facing his execution. He looked like a man who had just played the winning card in a high-stakes poker game. He leaned back against the brick wall, a wicked, jagged grin splitting his face.
"Lucian..." Rias purred, though the sound was like a tiger growling before a kill. "What is that look for? Do you honestly think a few clever words will save you this time?"
Lucian's eyes flickered to Issei and Kiba, who were currently trembling like leaves in a hurricane. "Save me? No, Rias. I'm not trying to save myself. I'm just making sure I have company in the pits of hell."
Issei blinked, his fear momentarily replaced by confusion. "Company? Bro, what are you—"
"You remember the last time?" Lucian interrupted, his voice dripping with dark amusement. "The time Sirzechs and Aunt Grayfia came hunting for us because we tried to sneak into that 'Love-Love Succubus' hotel?"
Issei and Kiba both stiffened, their faces turning pale at the memory of Grayfia's cold, soul-crushing gaze.
"Yeah," Issei whispered. "Because someone snitched on us to the main household."
"I did," Lucian admitted, his smirk widening. "And I did it again. About ten minutes before we reached this alleyway."
"YOU WHAT?!" Issei and Kiba screamed in unison.
"Oh, it was a masterpiece," Lucian chuckled, tapping his temple. "For Issei, I sent a group text to Inari and Asia. I told them that Issei felt 'under-serviced' at home and was dragging me out to find a 'real woman' to pump him full of energy. I believe I mentioned he wanted a 'harem expansion' by sundown."
Issei's jaw hit the floor. "You... you signed my death warrant! Asia is going to pray for my soul until I evaporate!"
"And Kiba," Lucian turned to the Knight, his eyes glinting. "I sent a very short, very specific message to that campus beauty you were talking to earlier. I just typed: 'Kiba is actually a...' and then I left it on a cliffhanger. She's currently blowing up your phone trying to find out what the dark, scandalous secret is. Good luck explaining that you aren't a secret felon."
"Lucian..." Kiba's voice was cold. "One day, I am actually going to kill you. I will sharpen a blade specifically for your heart."
"In brotherhood," Lucian declared, raising a finger as if giving a lecture, "all brothers suffer together. Not a single one suffers alone. If I'm going down for 'peeping,' you two are coming with me for 'intent to commit'!"
"Shut up now!" Rias barked, her patience finally snapping. The Power of Destruction flared around her hands. "It doesn't matter who you snitched to! You are all going to be punished by us, right now! Akeno, catch his hands!"
Akeno lunged forward, violet lightning coiling around her arms like snakes. "Ara ara, Lucian-kun. No more running."
"My dear Rias," Lucian said, his voice calm as he snapped his fingers. "Do you really think I'd trust my life to a single coin? I'm a Gremory, but I have Lucifer's blood in my veins. We always have a back door."
SNAP.
The silver coin in his pocket didn't just break; it acted as a catalyst. A massive, intricate magic circle—one Lucian had reverse-engineered from the Lucifer archives—erupted beneath their feet. It wasn't a standard Gremory transport; it was a chaotic, high-speed displacement spell.
WHOOSH.
In a flash of blinding white light, the alleyway was empty.
Phase 2: The Chase in the Concrete Jungle
Lucian, Issei, and Kiba tumbled out of a rift in space and slammed into a pile of cardboard boxes in a far-off corner of Kuoh's industrial district.
"Ugh..." Issei groaned, picking a piece of wet cardboard off his face. "Where are we?"
"The docks," Lucian gasped, scrambling to his feet. His Red Eyes were spinning wildly as he scanned the horizon. "It's far enough to buy us a few minutes, but Rias will track our demonic signatures in seconds."
"You dumb bastard!" Issei yelled, grabbing Lucian's collar. "You betrayed us! You sent Asia after me! Do you know what she does with that cross when she's angry?! She doesn't just pray, she aims it!"
"Focus, Issei!" Lucian shouted back, pushing him off. "I used a Bishop-class masking spell from the archives. It's a 'Void Veil.' It locks our tracking for about ten minutes, but after that, we're glowing like beacons. We need to flee to the Underworld. Now!"
"And how do we get there?" Kiba asked, his hand already on the hilt of a summoned demon sword. "The main gate is at the school. Rias is definitely guarding it."
"Not if we go through the secondary rift in the old cathedral district," Lucian said, already beginning to run. "Come on! Move!"
They sprinted through the darkened streets, their demonic speed turning them into blurs of movement. But Lucian knew it wasn't enough. He could feel the air behind them beginning to crackle. The 'Void Veil' was already fraying against Rias's sheer willpower.
Suddenly, a bolt of violet lightning slammed into a streetlamp just inches from Lucian's head.
"Lucy~ where do you think you're running?" Akeno's voice echoed through the air, sounding dangerously close. She was flying above the rooftops, her black fallen angel wings spread wide.
"Damn it! She's fast!" Issei yelled, summoning his Boosted Gear. [BOOST!]
"Kiba! Issei! Keep running!" Lucian commanded. He reached into his mental link, calling out to the one person he knew he could bribe. Tamamo! Can you hear me?
Master? The fox spirit's voice purred in his mind. Are you calling for help? I thought you were enjoying your 'Buddy Day'.
I'll give you a deal! Lucian projected, dodging another lightning bolt. Let us escape. Use your illusions to confuse Rias and Akeno. If you do, I'll give you three more dates! No interruptions!
Three? Tamamo scoffed. Master, my loyalty is worth more than that. I want five kisses in advance. And twenty hugs. All of them must be at least ten seconds long. And you must sign the contract in blood!
I'LL SIGN THE DAMN THING! Lucian roared mentally as a blast of Rias's Power of Destruction vaporized a car to his left. JUST DO IT!
Suddenly, the air around the boys began to shimmer. Tamamo appeared in a puff of golden smoke, running alongside them. She was in her small, cute fox form, but her nine tails were glowing with emerald light.
"Sign here, Master!" she chirped, manifesting a floating scroll in front of Lucian's face.
Lucian didn't even stop. He bit his thumb, smeared a streak of blood across the parchment, and kept sprinting.
"Contract sealed!" Tamamo cheered. She did a backflip in mid-air, shifting into her stunning adult form for a split second. She threw her hands out, and suddenly, the entire street behind them transformed.
To Rias and Akeno, who were closing in, the street suddenly split into a thousand identical alleyways. A massive illusion of a hundred Lucians, Isseis, and Kibas began running in every possible direction.
"Damn it! That fox betrayed us!" Rias's voice echoed with fury. "She's actually helping him escape!"
"He's clever," Akeno's voice floated down, sounding impressed despite her anger. "He knows Tamamo is the only one who can't resist a good bargain. But he can't run forever."
Phase 3: The Holy Crucifixion
The boys reached the edge of the cathedral district, panting and covered in sweat.
"We're almost... at the rift..." Issei wheezed, his legs shaking.
"Stop," Kiba whispered, drawing his sword.
Standing in the middle of the road, bathed in the moonlight, were two figures that made Issei's soul try to leave his body.
Asia Argento and Inari were standing there, blocking the path. Asia was holding a large, golden holy cross, her eyes brimming with tears and a terrifyingly righteous determination. Inari stood beside her, her kitsune ears twitching, holding a bucket of what smelled suspiciously like concentrated holy water.
"Issei-san..." Asia said, her voice trembling. "Lucian-san told us everything. You want to 'expand' your harem? You want to find 'real' women?"
"Asia! No! It's a lie! Lucian is a pathological snitch!" Issei screamed, hiding behind Lucian.
"He sent us the screenshots, Issei," Inari said, her voice cold. "It's time to crucify you again."
"Wait, 'again'?" Inari turned to Asia. "You've done this before?"
Asia nodded solemnly, her grip on the cross tightening. "Yes. After the last time he looked at those magazines, I made Issei-san bathe in a tub of holy water. It took three days for the steam to stop coming off his skin."
Issei let out a whimper of pure terror. "Lucian... you monster... you brought the Church into this!"
"Hey, I told you," Lucian smirked, though he was eyeing the exit rift just behind the girls. "Brothers suffer together. Now... RUN!"
Lucian grabbed Issei and Kiba, using the last of his mana to trigger a physical burst of speed. They charged right past the girls.
"WAIT!" Tamamo squealed, leaping onto Lucian's back. She reverted to her small form, sitting on his shoulders and clinging to his red hair. "Master! Our contract! Five kisses in advance! You're running, so I'll just take them now!"
"Not now, Tamamo! I'm trying to not get exorcised!" Lucian yelled.
"A contract is a contract!"
Tamamo shifted her upper body into her human form while her lower half stayed as a fox perched on his shoulders. She grabbed Lucian's face and forcefully pulled his head back while he was mid-sprint.
SMOOCH.
She planted a wet, lingering kiss right on his lips.
"ONE!" she cheered.
"Lucian! You're getting a kiss while I'm getting a death sentence?!" Issei cried, dodging a glob of holy water thrown by Inari. "I HATE YOU! I HATE THIS BROTHERHOOD!"
"Stop complaining and keep running!" Lucian yelled, his face turning red from the fox spirit's assault.
They reached the secondary rift—a shimmering tear in reality tucked behind an old graveyard. Lucian didn't hesitate. He threw Issei and Kiba through the portal first.
Just as Lucian prepared to jump, Rias and Akeno landed behind him, their combined auras shaking the ground.
"Lucian!" Rias yelled, her face a mask of pride and fury. "You can't run forever! We will find you in the Underworld!"
Lucian paused at the edge of the rift. He looked back at his King, a confident, wicked smirk returning to his face.
"You're right, Rias," Lucian called out, the portal beginning to pull him in. "I can't run forever. But I only need to run long enough."
"Long enough for what?" Kiba shouted from the other side of the portal.
"Long enough to not get caught today!" Lucian laughed, falling backward into the rift just as a blast of destruction magic soared over his head.
The portal snapped shut, leaving the girls standing in the silent graveyard.
Rias let out a frustrated growl, kicking a stone. "He is so annoying! Why did I have to fall for the one Gremory who's smarter than me?!"
Akeno giggled, sheathing her lightning. "Ara ara, President. He's certainly kept things interesting. But he forgot one thing."
"What's that?" Rias asked.
Akeno pulled out her phone, showing a tracking app. "I planted a magical bug on Tamamo's collar while she was helping them. They aren't going to a safe house. They're heading straight to the Sitri territory."
Rias's eyes lit up with a predatory gleam. "Sona's place? Oh, he's in for it now. Call the others. We're going to the Underworld."