"Try not to die before I finish my coffee," I said, hanging up the phone.
I set the device down on the table with extreme care. Thanks to Dr. Mai's potion, the plastic casing felt like it was made of jagged obsidian.
"Master?" Runa watched me, eyes wide. "The Association?"
"Begging," I said, sipping my coffee. It tasted like lava and sandpaper. "As usual."
(They weren't begging. They were panic-screaming. The Chairman sounded like he was crying.)
I turned my attention to the TV. The footage was chaotic. The black vortex in Shinjuku wasn't just spewing monsters; it was emitting a sound. A low, haunting melody that cut through the reporter's microphone.
On screen, soldiers and police officers—men specifically—were dropping their weapons. They were walking toward the vortex with glazed eyes, like zombies marching to a buffet.
"It's a Siren Gate," I muttered. "Psychological contamination."
My phone rang again. This time, it was a video call.
I accepted it, propping the phone up against a stack of instant noodle cups.
The screen split into three feeds.
The Chairman of the Hunter Association (Sweating, balding).
Ayaka Saionji (Sitting in a command tent, looking bored).
Detective Sae Kirishima (In a police cruiser, looking stressed).
"Mr. Amagiri!" The Chairman gasped. "Thank god you picked up. The situation is critical. The S-Rank Gate... it's mind-controlling every male Hunter within a five-kilometer radius!"
"I can see that," I said, leaning back in my chair (which felt like a bed of nails). "Why call me? Send in the female squads."
"We did!" Sae cut in, her voice tinny over the speaker. "But the boss monster... it adapts. It switched frequencies. Now it's targeting fear. Anyone with a shred of doubt is instantly paralyzed."
"And you think I lack fear?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
(I am made of fear. I am 90% water and 10% terror.)
"We don't think," Ayaka purred from her feed. She was sipping tea in the middle of a disaster zone. "We know."
She looked directly at the camera.
"You tore up a blank check from the Saionji Group without flinching. You rejected absolute wealth. That proves you are immune to Greed."
Sae nodded. "And you bypassed my [Truth Sight] in the interrogation room. You stared into the abyss of justice and laughed. That proves you are immune to Logic and Intimidation."
"Therefore," the Chairman concluded, "You are the only male Hunter in Japan with a 'Mental Fortress' strong enough to enter that Gate."
I stared at the screen.
They thought I was immune to mind control because I was too cool for money and too smooth for the cops.
The truth was:
I regretted tearing that check every single second.
I bypassed the Truth Sight because I was too busy looking at Sae's legs to be intimidated.
"I see," I said slowly. "You want me to walk into a mind-controlling hellscape because I have... issues with authority."
"We are authorized to pay you," the Chairman said. "One billion yen. Upfront."
My heart stopped. One billion.
That was Dr. Mai's treatments for a year. That was a penthouse. That was...
"However," I started, ready to accept.
But then I remembered Dr. Mai's warning. My skin was hypersensitive. If a wind blew too hard, I fell over. If a monster hit me, I wouldn't just die; I would die screaming in 4K resolution.
"I refuse," I said.
The three faces on the screen froze.
"I am currently... undergoing a spiritual metamorphosis," I lied, rubbing my arm which still felt like it was on fire. "My physical shell is fragile. If I enter the Gate now, the sheer pressure of my aura might collapse the wormhole and kill everyone inside."
(Also, I don't want to die.)
"Mr. Amagiri!" The Chairman wailed. "Please! We have no one else! The Valkyrie squad is en route from Europe, but they won't be here for six hours! Shinjuku will be gone by then!"
"Wait for the Valkyries," I said, reaching to end the call. "I am going back to sleep."
DING.
A crimson window slammed into my vision, overlaying the faces of the desperate officials.
[System Quest: The Siren's Call.] [Scenario: An S-Rank threats looms. The world calls for a hero. You are not a hero, but you play one on TV.] [Objective: Enter the S-Rank Gate and defeat the Dungeon Boss.] [Time Limit: 1 Hour to enter.] [Reward: 100,000 Desire Points.] [Failure Consequence: Immediate Mana Void Collapse. (You will explode).]
I stared at the text.
"Explode?" I whispered.
"Mr. Amagiri?" The Chairman asked. "Did you say something?"
I looked at the reward. 100,000 DP. That was enough to buy the [Elixir of Vitality]. That was a permanent cure for 50% of my condition.
I looked at the failure condition. Death.
The System wasn't asking. It was putting a gun to my head.
I sighed. It was a long, shuddering sound that rattled in my sensitive chest.
"I changed my mind," I said, my voice hollow.
"You... you did?" The Chairman blinked.
"The screams of the innocent," I improvised, standing up and regretting it immediately as my clothes chafed. "They have... disturbed my meditation. I cannot sleep while my city burns."
Ayaka smiled. "I knew it. You can't resist a challenge."
Sae looked relieved. "I'll have a chopper pick you up in three minutes."
"Make it five," I said. "I need to... put on my face."
(I need to wrap myself in bubble wrap under my clothes.)
I hung up.
I looked at Runa. She was already packing her sword.
"We march to war, Master?"
"Yes," I said, walking to the window to look at the black vortex swirling in the distance.
It looked like a giant mouth waiting to swallow me whole.
"Runa," I said softly.
"Yes, Master?"
"If I freeze up in there... if I stop moving..." I turned to her. "It's because I am focusing my mental energy. It means you need to protect me with your life."
"I would die before a scratch lands on you!" she declared.
"Good," I muttered. "Because with this potion... a scratch might literally kill me."
I grabbed my coat. It felt like putting on a jacket made of thorns.
"Let's go save the world," I grumbled. "Or die trying. Probably the second one."