After a long bout of wailing to the heavens and blaming the earth without seeing a single Fairy Godmother materialize, Ewan had to swallow his bitterness and accept his fate. He began the arduous task of excavating the memories of the original owner.
It had to be said that although Basil Vance had only lived in this world for a mere twenty years, the hard drive inside his skull contained a volume of data garbage that exceeded the amount of actual space debris orbiting the planet. His memories were messy, patchwork fragments, heavily seasoned with tons of negative emotions: resentment toward his family, crippling self-inferiority, and endless cursing at the unfairness of the universe. Ewan felt as though he were being forced to rummage through a spam folder filled with phishing emails just to find a single, crucial user manual.
It took him the entire afternoon, but he finally found what he needed: The User Guide to Slime Manipulation.
According to the recorded memories, the operating principle sounded incredibly surreal and fictitious. One simply had to focus their mental energy, control their consciousness, and visualize the elemental form. That was it.
Sounds as easy as swallowing candy, doesn't it? Ewan pursed his lips in profound skepticism. This world is a scam, from its physical infrastructure right down to its magic system. And then there is that ridiculous theory that the higher your mental strength, the higher the quality of your Slime.
But well, beggars can't be choosers. It was better than nothing. Ewan closed his eyes, trying to sweep away the distracting thoughts, his mouth muttering as if he were chanting a séance spell to summon spirits.
"Oh God, I am not greedy. I don't need dragons or phoenixes or any legendary beasts. Just give me a single Fire-type Slime, hot enough to boil bathwater. Please, I beg of you!"
In a split second, a current of electricity shot down his spine. Ewan clearly felt an invisible tether connecting his consciousness to the space outside. A sound echoed in his ears - pew pew - sounding exactly like a laser gun from an 8-bit retro game.
Ewan opened his eyes in delight. And crashing into his vision was... a giant blob of jelly.
Correct. It was a round, jiggly Slime, wobbling like a giant-sized Mochi cake with a diameter of at least half a meter, currently flattened against the ground. Its entire body glowed with the rosy-red hue of the Fire element, looking strangely appetizing.
"Hey there, darling. Wake up, it is time to work. Hop into that jar and boil some water for Papa."
The Slime seemed to understand human speech. On that body, which was as smooth as agar jelly, two large, round, watery eyes suddenly appeared. It blinked at Ewan, its whole body shivering like a pudding that had just been poked.
"Pew pew!" It let out two enthusiastic chirps, then began to move.
Since the Creator had teasingly denied it legs, the Slime could only move by... bouncing. Boing, boing. Every time it landed, it made a squishy plop plop sound that was quite entertaining to hear.
When it approached the jar of freezing water, its body began to transform. From a solid, elastic state, the Slime gradually melted like grilled cheese, slithering up and hugging the entire circumference of the jar.
Sizzle...
A small noise resonated, and the entire mass of Slime suddenly glowed as bright as burning charcoal. Even standing a meter away, Ewan could feel the wave of intense heat hitting his face. Steam began to rise copiously from the jar, dispelling the chill of the late afternoon.
Along with the heat emission, the size of the Slime was visibly shrinking. Its bright crimson color faded, returning to its original pastel pink. By the time the water in the jar was bubbling and boiling, the giant Slime from earlier had reduced to a tiny blob the size of a fist, only about twenty centimeters across.
It released the jar, bounced toward Ewan's feet, and nuzzled against his ankle like a kitten seeking credit for a job well done.
Ewan burst out laughing. This creature might be trash in combat, but its cuteness level was maxed out. He bent down and reached out to gently rub its perfectly round, smooth head. Contrary to his expectation of touching a scorching coal, the sensation transmitted to his hand was cool and soft, like fruit jelly. It seemed it knew how to regulate its temperature so as not to burn its master.
"Good job, very good boy. Now go play by yourself, but do not set the house on fire. I am going to take a bath."
The Slime chirped pew pew twice in agreement, then bounced away like a rubber ball to explore the surrounding world. Ewan watched it go, a dark thought popping into his head. I wonder if I can mold it into different shapes? Modeling it into a Minion would be hilarious.
Brushing aside those childish ideas, Ewan began the labor of transporting the hot water to the bathtub. Fortunately, although this house was poor, the hardware facilities were still somewhat salvageable. Inside this stone hut at the back, there was a massive bathtub carved from a single block of stone. Filling it with hot water and soaking in it would truly be a paradise on earth.
Ewan stripped off his filthy clothes, which were caked with sand and sea salt, and stepped blissfully into the hot water. The warm steam enveloped his body, chasing away all fatigue and aches.
He closed his eyes to enjoy the moment, but in the back of his mind, he still felt a nagging suspicion that he had forgotten something. Something very basic, yet very important.
"It is probably nothing. If it were important, I would have remembered it by now, heh heh!" Ewan reassured himself with the logic of someone with a goldfish brain.
Just as Ewan was letting his soul drift with the clouds, intending to belt out an opera aria in the tub, his chest suddenly tightened. A sharp pain struck him unexpectedly - not a heart attack, but a sensation of pure panic transmitted directly into his brain.
Immediately following that, a bloodcurdling shriek of PIU PIU PIU!!! rang out from the courtyard.
That was the Slime screaming!
Ewan jumped, splashing water everywhere. He bolted upright, driven by the instinct to protect his pet. He groped wildly around him, searching for a towel to wrap himself in so he could run out to the rescue.
But his hands grasped only empty air.
Ewan froze for five seconds, a draft blowing through the cracks in the door causing goosebumps to rise all over his skin. At this moment, his slow-processing brain finally finished loading the missing data.
There was no towel!
There were no clean clothes!
"Oh, heavens above! I remember living a virtuous life in my past incarnation, eating vegetarian, reciting prayers, and creating no bad karma! Why is God besieging me on all sides in this life, driving me into such a dead end?"
The tragic screams of the Slime outside grew louder, while Ewan stood inside, stuck between a rock and a hard place, unable to advance or retreat, wanting to cry but unable to shed a tear!