"Our Vermilion Gym challenges have always been divided into two parts," Lt. Surge said loudly.
"A Scholarly Battle and a Combat Battle. As long as you win either one, you'll earn the Gym's prize—
the Thunder Badge."
As he spoke, Lt. Surge displayed a badge shaped like a small sun, its orange glow making Ash's heart itch with desire.
…Wait.
A scholarly battle?
Ash frowned.
What kind of nonsense was this?
Could a scholarly battle roast a Rattata until it was crispy on the outside and juicy on the inside?
Even Lt. Surge's lackeys looked confused.
So the always-brutal Vermilion Gym… actually had a civilized side?
Ash subconsciously looked up and down at Lt. Surge's towering, muscular frame.
If it was a scholarly contest…
yeah, he might actually have the advantage.
He'd recently reread the type-effectiveness chart in his spare time.
Sure, he only remembered about 30%, but his confidence skyrocketed anyway.
Soon, Lt. Surge called out toward the back of the Gym.
An elderly man walked out.
He was covered in thick white beard, wore oversized dark sunglasses, and clutched a book to his chest.
His height barely reached one meter.
The moment he appeared, his gaze locked dead onto Pikachu.
Ash immediately suspected this guy might be Team Rocket's Meowth in disguise.
"Ahem," Lt. Surge said.
"This is the President of the Pokémon Fan Club, and also the honorary chairman of Vermilion City's Electric Mouse Enthusiasts Association. He'll be the referee for today's scholarly battle."
"Hello, sir."
Ash, Brock, and Misty greeted him politely.
The chairman nodded, then casually tossed Ash a candy.
"This is a Rare Candy. It makes Pokémon stronger.
By the way… your Pikachu's body shape is a little off."
Ash subconsciously unwrapped the candy and popped it straight into Pikachu's mouth.
"Pika."
Pikachu chewed a few times and swallowed.
Nothing happened.
Fake.
The scholarly battle began.
"Ahem," the chairman said solemnly as he opened his thick book.
"These are all things a qualified Trainer should know. Let the competition begin."
"First question: What type is Pikachu?"
Ash's lips curled upward.
Was this question insulting him?
"Electric-type!"
He answered instantly. Lt. Surge didn't even bother rushing to answer.
"Ash earns one point. Current score: 1–0."
The chairman nodded and continued.
"Second question: What is Pikachu's Ability?"
"?"
Ash froze.
Come to think of it… he really didn't know Pikachu's Ability.
Pikachu liked pulling out its own blanket to nap—maybe Truant?
It liked eating a lot—maybe Gluttony?
In the end, he could only answer hesitantly:
"Thick… Fat?"
Was this really something a normal Trainer needed to know?
"It's Static or Lightning Rod," Lt. Surge laughed, a hint of mockery in his voice.
"You don't even know your own Pikachu's Ability? That's not very professional."
Ash was just about to retort—
When his Pokédex suddenly chimed.
"Beep. Pikachu. A very common Pokémon.
Ability: Thick Fat."
Lt. Surge: "?"
Even the Fan Club chairman froze.
They both glanced down at Pikachu's body, hesitating.
The Pokédex was never supposed to lie.
…Had Pikachu mutated?
In the end, the chairman could only skip the question.
Score remained 1–0.
"Third question: What item does Pikachu need to evolve into Raichu?"
Ash's whole body jolted.
"I know this one!" he shouted proudly.
"It's the Thunder Stone!"
Lt. Surge & Chairman: "?"
"Beep. Pikachu's evolution item: Thunder Stone."
The Pokédex added helpfully.
Lt. Surge & Chairman: "???"
The previous question had already confused them enough.
But this one was impossible to accept.
Raichu definitely evolved using a Thunder Stone.
Lt. Surge's Raichu was living proof.
So the true root of all evil was that Pokédex.
What a menace to education.
The score jumped to 1–2 as the chairman awkwardly awarded the skipped point back to Lt. Surge.
He also briefly considered smashing the Pokédex.
"Fourth question: What is the optimal dietary ratio for Pikachu?"
Ash: "?"
This time, he finally noticed the title of the book in the chairman's hands:
"Electric Mouse Care Manual"
To hell with "basic Trainer knowledge"!
But with no retreat possible, Ash guessed again:
"Eat more meat… and fewer vegetables?"
"Incorrect," Lt. Surge answered smoothly.
"70% Electric Mouse specialty feed, 25% fruits, vegetables, and seeds, and 10% snacks!
You clearly don't know how to raise an Electric Mouse at all."
Ash: "…"
That percentage doesn't even add up!
From there, Ash collapsed completely.
Questions about preventing depression, proper belly massages, heatstroke prevention—
he'd never even heard of these.
And the final, bonus question—
"What position is optimal during Electric Mouse XX behavior?"
—made his face burn red.
Final score: 1–9. A narrow loss.
Ash only scored on the very first question.
"Young man," the chairman said seriously after the match,
"you're not a qualified Electric Mouse Trainer. Perhaps you should release it?"
That suggestion finally ignited Ash's fury.
"Hmph! There's no need for all those manuals!
As long as Pikachu is happy, that's what truly matters! Right, Pikachu?!"
"Pika…?"
Pikachu tilted its head.
Then, for some reason, its yellow cheeks flushed red.
It shyly looked away.
It was still thinking about that last question.
"Pikachu—you!"
Ash's breathing hitched as he trembled with rage.
He slapped his own cheeks, clenched his fists, and shouted:
"A real man fights head-on!
This scholarly nonsense— even if I won, I wouldn't accept the badge!"
…Not that he'd won.
Lt. Surge felt his fighting spirit ignite as well.
He clapped his hands, and his subordinates quickly cleared the battlefield.
"Even though you lost the scholarly battle, if you win the Pokémon battle,
you'll still earn my Thunder Badge."
"One-on-one rules.
And my representative Pokémon—
is Raichu!"
"RAI-CHU!!"
Raichu stepped forward, slamming its thick brown fists together as electricity crackled from its cheek pouches.
Truth be told, it hated this whole scholarly nonsense too.
All that talk about "positions" and theory—
Why couldn't its Trainer just take it out for real battles once in a while?
Fine.
Today, it would vent all that frustration on this little Electric Mouse.
"Raichu~!"
Raichu crooked a finger at Pikachu, who was still blushing and contemplating life.
"Stop zoning out, Pikachu!
This time, you have to beat that guy!!"
Ash's shout snapped Pikachu back to reality.
"Pika!"
Pikachu took a deep breath, puffed out its belly, and walked forward with determination.
It was time to clock in for work.
The two Pikachu met at the center of the field, bellies pressed together.
Neither willing to back down.
Electric sparks crackled in their eyes.
(End of Chapter)
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