~ Ava ~
I was in a good mood when I got home.
My boss had let everyone out early because her daughter had a dance recital, and I figured I would surprise Daniel with his favorite Thai food. Green curry, pad thai, the spring rolls he always stole off my plate. I was three days away from starting my dream job at Cole Media, three months away from marrying the love of my life, and everything felt like it was finally falling into place.
I let myself into the apartment, the takeout bag still in my hand.
"Daniel?" I called out. "Babe, I brought food."
No answer.
He was supposed to be working from home today. His laptop was on the coffee table, but the living room was empty. Maybe he was napping. He had been complaining about not sleeping well lately, blaming it on stress from work.
I headed down the hallway toward the bedroom, the takeout bag swinging at my side. The door was closed, which was a little strange because we never closed it during the day, but I didn't think much of it.
I pushed it open.
For a second, my brain couldn't make sense of what I was seeing.
Daniel was in our bed. Naked. With a woman underneath him, her dark hair fanned out across my pillow.
The takeout bag slipped from my fingers.
The thud of it hitting the floor made them both freeze. Daniel's head whipped around, his eyes going wide. The woman gasped and shoved at his chest, scrambling to pull the sheet up to cover herself.
Then she turned her head, and I saw her face.
Jessica.
My stomach dropped.
My best friend. My fiancé. On my bed.
Nobody moved. We just stared at each other, the three of us, frozen in this horrible moment that didn't feel real.
Then Daniel practically fell off the bed, grabbing his boxers from the floor, nearly tripping as he yanked them on.
"Ava" His voice cracked. "Ava, wait, this isn't what it looks like—"
I still couldn't move. My hands were empty at my sides, my feet rooted to the floor. Green curry was leaking out of the bag onto the floor, spreading in a slow puddle.
"Ava, please." Daniel had his boxers on now, crooked and barely pulled up, and he was coming toward me with his hands raised like I was something dangerous. "Please, just let me explain"
"Explain what?"
The words came out flat, and hollow. They didn't sound like me at all.
"It didn't mean anything," he said, his voice shaking. "I swear to God, Ava, it was a mistake, it just happened"
A mistake. He wanted to call this a mistake, like he had accidentally tripped and landed in bed with my best friend. Like however long this had been going on was just some harmless oops we could work through if I would calm down and be reasonable.
I looked past him at Jessica. She was still clutching the sheet to her chest, tears already rolling down her cheeks, and she wouldn't meet my eyes.
We had been friends since freshman year of college. Eight years. She was supposed to be my maid of honor. I had held her hand through bad breakups, had listened to her cry over guys who didn't deserve her, had helped her pick out dresses and talked her through job interviews and considered her the closest thing I had to a sister.
And this whole time, she had been sleeping with my fiancé.
"How long?" I asked.
Daniel's face went pale. "Ava.."
"How long, Daniel?"
He didn't answer. He just stood there with his mouth open, looking at me like I was the one being unreasonable.
Jessica finally spoke, her voice small and shaky. "Ava, I'm so sorry, we never meant for you to find out like this.."
Something cold settled in my chest.
"Find out like this?" I repeated slowly. "As opposed to what? Were you going to tell me at the wedding? During the vows? Or were you just going to keep screwing him behind my back forever and hope I never walked in?"
She flinched.
"Ava, please." Daniel took a step toward me and I took a step back. Something flickered across his face, hurt maybe, like my reaction was the problem here. "She doesn't mean anything to me. It was just—it was a mistake. A stupid mistake. It didn't mean anything, I swear."
She doesn't mean anything to me.
I almost laughed. He really thought that was supposed to help. He really thought telling me he had thrown away our entire relationship for someone who meant nothing was going to make me feel better.
"I'm leaving," I said.
"Ava, wait."
"Don't follow me."
I turned around before either of them could say another word. My keys were still in my pocket. I walked out the front door without looking back.
The elevator ride down felt endless. My reflection stared back at me from the mirrored walls, this woman who looked completely normal, completely calm, like her entire life hadn't just collapsed. My hands weren't even shaking yet. Why weren't my hands shaking?
I got in my car. Started the engine. Pulled out of the parking spot.
And then I just drove.
I couldn't go to my parents' place because they would ask questions I didn't have answers to yet. I couldn't go to any of my friends because half of them were also Jessica's friends and I didn't know who knew about this and who didn't. I just needed to be somewhere that wasn't my apartment, somewhere that didn't smell like Daniel's cologne and the lie I had been living for God knows how long.
I ended up at the Meridian Hotel downtown.
It was one of those sleek, overpriced places with marble floors and low lighting and staff who smiled without asking questions when a woman walked in looking like her world had just ended. I handed over my credit card, took the keycard, and made it to the elevator.
My hands started shaking somewhere around the fifth floor.
By the time I got to my room, my whole body was trembling. I sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall and tried to remember how to breathe.
Four years. I had given him four years. I had moved to this city for him. I had turned down a job in Chicago for him. I had planned a wedding and picked out flowers and told everyone I knew that I had finally found my person.
And the whole time, he had been with Jessica.
I didn't cry. I wanted to, but the tears wouldn't come. Everything inside me felt frozen, like my body had shut down just to keep me from falling apart completely.
I needed a drink.
The hotel bar was on the ground floor, all dark wood and dim lighting and soft music I couldn't really hear over the noise in my own head. I sat down at the bar and ordered a vodka tonic. Then another. Then a third.
By the fourth drink, the frozen feeling had started to thaw, and I wasn't sure that was a good thing.
"Rough night?"
The voice came from my left. Low and smooth.
I turned my head.
The man sitting two stools down was watching me with a slight tilt to his head. Dark hair, sharp jaw, he had a glass of whiskey in front of him, barely touched.
Normally I would have given him a polite smile and turned back to my drink. I wasn't the kind of woman who talked to strangers in bars, and I definitely wasn't in the mood for small talk.
But nothing about tonight was normal.
"You could say that," I said.
He picked up his glass and moved to the stool next to mine. Up close, I could see his eyes were gray, dark and sharp in the low light. He looked at me like he was trying to figure something out.
"Want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Fair enough." He signaled the bartender. "Another round for her. And I'll take another."
I should have said no. I should have finished my drink and gone back to my room and dealt with my broken engagement like a responsible adult.
But the way he looked at me made something shift in my chest. Not romantic, more like my body had suddenly remembered it existed and was trying to remind me I was still alive, still here, still capable of feeling something other than numb.
"I'm Ava," I said.
He smiled, slow and deliberate. "Nice to meet you, Ava."
"You're not going to tell me your name?"
"Does it matter?"
I thought about Daniel. About Jessica. About the wedding I was going to have to cancel and the apartment I was going to have to move out of and the future I was going to have to rebuild from nothing.
"No," I said. "I guess it doesn't."