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Chapter 17 - Guilt of a Monster

"I owe Noah my life, I do, but…I don't know what he's thinking," Otto confided in Astrid with quiet words as they passed into the village. 

"It's only been a short time that I've known him, but I'm not surprised," Astrid said with a slight smile, brushing her wet, blonde hair behind her ear. 

"You're not? Seriously?" Otto asked, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. 

"The night we met him, that wolverine almost killed us…Without a second thought, he got between it, without knowing who we were or what it was. When it comes to things like that, he didn't hesitate to take it down," Astrid recalled, looking up at the falling rain. "If he chose mercy this time, he must've seen something. He's just that kind of man."

"Wow, you've really been keeping an eye on him, haven't you, sis?" Otto teased with an exhale.

Instantly, the mage's cheeks flushed as she averted her gaze, "I–well, it's not like that! It's just, hard not to notice those things when you're around him." 

"No, I feel the same way, honestly," Otto agreed, looking ahead towards the back of the axe-wielding hero. "A part of me believes we might've stumbled across a Saint in the making." 

It was at the center of the village, being consoled by the old man that gave them stay and a few others, that Noah found Elsa, sobbing and clutching her knees to her chest. 

"Noah–?" Gervin said, looking up while patting the girl's head. 

Elsa turned her gaze upward as well, though went pale at the sight of the towering inhuman right behind the man, "Eeek!--"

"Don't worry," Noah assured. "He won't hurt you. I'll make sure he never hurts anybody else."

"Then kill it!" The villager man in overalls shouted from beside the girl. 

"Yeah, make sure of it–!" Another chimed in. 

Noah shouted, "If any of you can do it, feel free! I'm the only one around here that can, so shut up!" 

The demands of those around silenced from his stern response, as it was the simple truth; without his strength, there wouldn't be a village left. While he didn't take any joy in talking that way, the thirst for blood had to end there. 

"Listen, you don't have to accept this, but I can't in my right mind kill something, someone that doesn't hold any animosity in their heart," Noah explained, looking at the freckled fruit-gatherer, taking a breath. "There's nothing that can undo his past. But, if that monstrous part is gone…What would I be doing but killing someone that can be good? I don't believe anything gets achieved that way."

Elsa was quiet, pondering what was said, though did her best to avoid so much as looking at the orc. It was the old man that stood up, looking at the guest of the village with a sincere look, though with some doubt. 

"If that one hurts someone, or even worse, kills somebody, what will you make of the choice you've made then, Noah?" Gervin honestly asked. 

"Let me ask you something, and don't take it as disrespect, please," Noah responded. "If you watch a wolf pass through your window and you don't kill it, would you blame yourself for the rabbit it hunts after?"

"That's not the same, that's the natural process of nature," Gervin answered. 

"Yeah, but the point is, the thought of killing it didn't cross your mind, right? For me, the idea of killing someone that wants to change, is the same," Noah explained, honestly putting forth. "The magic I possess, well, it washed away the evil inside him. So, the orc you're looking at–all that's left of him is what we humans have." 

Gervin was left in thought, rubbing his chin and mumbling to himself before exhaling, "I understand where you're coming from, but, if this is really the choice you're making, you can't stay here."

"That's fine," Noah said with a soft smile. "Thank you for your hospitality." 

When their supplies were retrieved, he left amidst the rainy night with his companions alongside him. There wasn't a single good bye from any of the villagers, nor a thank you. It wasn't as though he placed his life on the line for their gratitude, but the lack of it cemented the weight of his decision. 

On the damp road leaving the tucked-away settlement, he walked in silence for some time before finding Astrid upping her pace so that she could follow by his right. 

"Are you alright?" She asked. 

"Oh, this?" Noah said, lifting the backup tunic he brought with him, showing the fresh cuts on his body, though they didn't bleed anymore. "I'm fine. My body is, well, it can handle this sort of thing."

"I don't mean that, I know you can handle that," Astrid laughed lightly before looking at him with a tinge of guilt. "The way things ended back there…"

"Oh, yeah. Well, it's completely understandable. I don't blame them one bit," Noah answered. 

"You don't? Even though you fought so hard for them…" 

"They're just people trying to live their lives, and survive. I have the strength to keep Redrum in check if anything did happen, but for them? That's not the case," Noah clarified. "For the safety of their families, Redrum's death would make sense."

"I see…Well, I support your decision," Astrid smiled. "I'm right here with you, if anything goes wrong–I'll support you."

"Thanks," Noah nodded with a hopeful curve to his lips. 

A few strides behind them was the orc, who walked quietly with his head hung low the entire time as if walking itself was a challenge, and behind him, the archer followed. There wasn't a moment that Otto's eyes weren't fixated on the red-skinned giant, almost unblinking even as the droplets of rainfall passed over his irises. 

"How's your eye feeling?" Otto asked, not out of any care for the orc's comfort. 

Redrum didn't turn back as he walked, "No worse than what I feel in my mind." 

"You can keep up this schtick about your guilt, but I know what you are," Otto said watchfully, holding no softness in his words. "A monster. Sooner or later, you'll go back to your roots."

"--" Redrum was silent, though seemed to ponder what was said. 

Some ways through the roads leading through the lush valleys, the rainfall finally settled. As the next sun rose, the group hiked through woods, crossing a rampant river secured only by a shoddy bridge. By Astrid's own estimations, only one more night would have to be slept through before reaching Tiras. 

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