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Chapter 14: Loki Familia vs. The Great Sage of Lust
The Wrath of the Thousand Elf
"STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU PIECE OF SH*T!"
The voice that tore through the afternoon air wasn't the melodic, refined chime of an Elven noble. It was a guttural, terrifying roar that would have made a seasoned mob boss break into a cold sweat. I didn't even need to look back to know that Lefiya Viridis was currently channeling enough murderous intent to curdle milk. Gone was the "Thousand Elf" who sold herself on elegance and intellect; in her place was a relentless hunter with eyes like a freezing winter gale.
To understand how my life had devolved into a high-speed chase through the cobblestone sectors of Orario, we have to go back to earlier today. It started the moment I pulled my Goddess's cheeks until they felt like rubber. She had just returned from what she called a "recruitment trip"—which was really just a state-funded bender.
"I can't believe this," I had muttered, staring at the empty wooden safe in our home. "You spent every single Valis I earned on that vacation, and the only 'souvenir' you brought me was a bottle of expensive booze that you like?"
Since she had drained my bank account, I was forced back into the grind: drafting a new manuscript featuring the girls of the Loki Familia to recoup the losses. That was when the rumors reached me. The gods were gossiping in their tea houses, and the male adventurers were burning with a green flame of envy: "The Great Cut" Tiona and the "Rabbit Foot" were on an actual date!
I was horrified. Did my smut book actually trigger this route? If my "literature" had accidentally created a hyper-competent Amazonian heroine who was now hunting the protagonist for real, the entire world's destiny might be at stake. If Bell got "eaten" by an Amazon before his heroic growth was complete, the world was doomed.
I tracked them to a market stall where they were currently geeking out over a display of heroic epics.
"Look, Argonaut-kun! It's the new edition!" "Whoa! I haven't seen this one yet!"
They were holding hands and laughing, looking exactly like the cover of my latest volume. I stood there shivering, caught between the pride of a creator and the terror of a world-ender. If this date goes until tonight, Bell-kun is going to become a father before he even hits Level 5, I thought frantically.
The Hannya Descends
I followed them for three hours, waiting for a "Harem Intervention" that never came. Instead, a different heroine appeared—directly behind me.
"I... found... you... ♪"
The voice was sweet, but it sent a frost-nova straight down my spine. I turned slowly to see Lefiya. She was smiling, but her eyes were devoid of highlights, and she was manifesting what could only be described as a [Hannya] stand behind her, clutching a kitchen knife.
"H-Hello... ♪" "Good afternoon, Pervert-san. It's a lovely day to die, isn't it? ♡"
I threw myself to the side just as her staff demolished the pavement where I'd been standing.
"Wait! The Loki Familia can't just go around murdering people in broad daylight!" "It's fine," she whispered, her voice trembling with a terrifying calm. "I'll just put your remains in a bag, dump them in the Dungeon, and use [Rea Laevateinn] to incinerate the evidence. No one will ever know. Now, please sleep forever."
I gave up on logic. You can't negotiate with a yandere Elf. I activated my skills and bolted.
"To think you'd depict me... and Bell Cranel... doing... those things! You deserve ten thousand deaths!" "Wait, so it was the Lefiya book?! I thought Aiz's book was the one that—CRAP!" "Aiz too?! You have even more crimes to account for?! UNFORGIVABLE!"
I had accidentally thrown oil on the fire. Tee-hee, my bad! I pushed my speed, assuming I could outrun a mage, but as I turned a corner, a shadow blocked the sun.
The Braver's Net
"Stop right there!"
It was Elfi, the Loki Familia member who always looked like a ditz but spoke like a business consultant.
"A pincer move?!" "No," a deep, masculine voice boomed from above. "Unfortunately, we've surrounded the entire block."
I looked up. There, standing on the roof with his arms crossed, was Finn Deimne—the Braver himself. Behind him, the streets were suddenly flooded with Loki Familia members. I saw Lefiya in the distance, breathing like a Minotaur as her own comrades held her back from charging me again.
"You've quite the talent for using my subordinates as tools for profit," Finn said, his thumb twitching with his signature "danger intuition".
"Ehehe... thanks..." "The fact that you can joke in this situation is impressive," he noted. "But we're here to collect. First, the seizure of all unauthorized profits. Second, a lawsuit for defamation. And finally... we're taking you to see Loki."
If I went to see Loki, I was dead. My money was already spent on my Goddess's booze, and the "punishment" from a Goddess as protective as Loki would be legendary.
"SALAD BAR!" I screamed.
I activated my [Devil Bat Ghost] maneuver, blurring past Elfi and breaking the perimeter with raw agility. Finn didn't panic; he simply gave a series of rapid-fire orders.
"Notify the others! Track her using the beastmen! Do not draw weapons—we need her alive!"
The Battle for Romance
I rounded another corner only to find a wall of Elves led by Riveria Ljos Alf.
"You've got a lot of nerve, brat," the High Elf Queen spat, a vein throbbing in her forehead. "After what you did to the girls' reputations... let me land just one punch!" "Whoa! You're an Elven royal! Don't talk like a common street thug!"
Her face twisted in fury. I turned tail and ran the other way, thanking the gods that her anger had overridden her usual composure.
"Ho? So you made it past Riveria?"
Gareth Landrock was waiting at the next junction. I was trapped. Riveria was behind me, Gareth was in front, and Finn was closing in. I was ready to surrender when a miracle occurred.
"I AM A SAMURAI WHO LOVES ROMANTIC SMUT! I SHALL AID THEE!" "PROTECT THE AUTHOR WHO GIVES US HOPE!" "DAMMIT, MY GODDESS ORDERED ME TO DO THIS!"
Adventurers surged from the shadows, clashing with the Loki Familia. It turns out my fans had mobilized to save their source of entertainment!
"Thank you! Support the next volume!" I shouted, using the distraction to dive through a gap.
I was almost clear when a shadow plummeted from above. Tione Hiryute stood over me, her hair writhing like snakes.
"So, you're the one who drew my sister in those... disgusting books?"
"Wait!" I screamed, looking up at the Level 6 Amazon. "If you let me go right now... I promise my next 'Special Edition' will be a wedding and honeymoon volume between you and Captain Finn!"
Tione's face transformed instantly into a mask of pure joy. "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! I'LL HANDLE THE OTHERS!"
The Wolf and the Smoke
I had one final obstacle: Bete Loga. He looked at me with pure disgust. "You're the freak who draws that trash? You're out of your mind."
"Yeah? Well, how about this?!"
I pulled out my [Special Chili-Smoke Bomb]. I slammed it into the ground, and a cloud of red, irritating smoke filled the street. Bete, with his heightened senses, was immediately doubled over, coughing and sneezing as the capsaicin overwhelmed his nose.
"LATER, YOU SULKY WOLF! WAIT FOR THE NEXT VOLUME!"
I vanished into the back alleys.
Later that night, the Loki Familia executives gathered for a debrief. Tione was currently assigned to a week of cleaning duty.
"So," Loki asked, her playful demeanor vanishing. "Finn, how did a brat like that escape?"
"It wasn't just the fans," Finn said. "I was about to capture her when Freya appeared behind me with Ottar. She told me she found the girl's work 'interesting' from a divine perspective—that it contained 'History' and 'Technique' that shouldn't exist in our world. She 'requested' that I let the girl go."
"Technique that shouldn't exist, huh?" Loki chuckled darkly. "I noticed it too. The way those books are made... it's like they drifted in from a world we don't know".
"Exactly," Finn agreed. "The value of that girl isn't just in the smut she draws. She's a 'Driftwood'—a piece of another world".
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