Mr. Herbert whimbley was a man of many talents. none of which involved understanding jokes, metaphors, sarcasm, or basic human exaggeration.
He took everything literally
This was note choice this was not a phase.this was a life long condition, much like baldness or an allergy to shrimp
If someone said, ''I'II be there in a second" Herbert would start counting out loud. If the person failed to arrive by "one Mississippi " Herbert would grow visibly concerned and possibly phone emergency services
Herbert worked as a junior clerk at the department of administrative clarification,
Which was an office created solely because Herbert already existed.His job involved.
Correcting misunderstanding clarifying instructions and once, very bravely explaining to an entire. Conference room that the phrase " think outside the box"
Was physically impossible without first acquiring a box.
His coworker tolerated him in the way people tolerate a fire alarm 'loudly' cautiously and with frequent glances at the exit.
On a perfectly average Monday morning, Herbert arrived at work and found a bright yellow sticky note on his desk. It read
"Relax, Take it easy today"
Herbert froze.
"Take it easy" he whispered.
He looked down at his briefcase, which weighed approximately twelve pounds due to containing six stablers. three notbooks , a calculator from 1987, and an apple he forgot to eat everyday clearly this was not "easy"
Concerned that he was currently taking things for too hard Herbert immediately removed half the contents of his briefcase and placed them carefully on the floor. He then attempted to "relax" which he interpreted as loosing all the muscles in his body at once.