"I'm someone you're not going to be in this life so quit trying you worthless piece of—"
I kicked Damien pushing him off of me before he could say more offensive words. The phone slipped from his grip as he yelled in anger. However, I caught it in the nick of time.
"Alan I'm sorry. Please forget that you heard anything. I'm a little busy today so maybe some other time? Take care."
I hung up saying those like a train wheezes past a small lake. "What the heck is wrong with you Damien?"
"Ask that to yourself first!"
Suddenly a memory of Alan swam in my mind—just two weeks after his joining.
"The camera's ready," one of the cameramans said.
Chris came in the middle with his phone. "No. How about this? I create a short reel of them doing cute hand gestures together?" He suggested showing me and Alan a similar thirty seconds video.
"Oh it's cute I think. What do you say, Mr. Saint?"
"It'll help them bond. You know getting to know each other more—seeing each other more—" the assistant director moved his hand in approval.
"Making videos together is another way of spending a good time with your partner."
I gave Chris a cold stare at his teasing comment. "Co-star you mean."
At that Alan cleared his throat—blushing. "So, what will I have to do?"
"Oh see these here—you'll get the hang of it once you yourself shoot one."
"Let me see which music should I choose..."
"Hey use Tethered's opening. That way we'll be promoting it too."
"But shouldn't we choose a song that's trending?" I asked.
"Up to you then..." Chris shrugged shuffling through his playlist.
It was the tender cool third day of April with a crystalline vivid cornflower blue sky—the first nudge of spring bent the heads of poppies and marigolds in the balcony of someone's apartment. We recently began shooting a new action mystery drama, Tethered. And it's a bromance coded series with me and Alan in the leads.
A new face among many others, yet this guy's somewhat timorous mien only when I'm near him makes me reflect into his character more. I've caught him talking to other crew members and he's not like that at all.
This is a first bromance drama for me but to him this role is the basal opening point towards his acting career. Maybe he's still adjusting to everything.
Come on Saint it's not like you've always been a pro. You were nervous in your first role too.
But it is even more intriguing cause he's never been to music/drama schools nor ever thought of being in this industry-I mean if I can believe his own words. And surprisingly he passed the audition with flying colors.
Alan and I made a video together.
"How did we do?" He asked Chris who repeated watching it for the fourth time.
"Mm... I think it's quite good for a newbie like you. Oh I'm gonna post it right now."
"Hey I can change into a different outfit if—" I said giving a slight tug at my shirt.
"No don't need that."
"Oh the script has arrived," Nina turned her head to the doorway.
The script supervisor has brought the sheets. "Today's scenes," he addressed us then began distributing them.
"Alright let's get through it."
Two hours later:
~There's something in my life that don't make sense
If you're not in it, it won't make sense
Please tell me what to do I'll listen
To comply and cater to your every whims~
I took a pen from the penstand with my diary stashed under my arm. I cut the previous lines I showed him earlier. Now I gotta write these lines quick.
As I flumped on the sofa with one leg over the other holding the nib close to the thin sheet half filled with my previous scribblings Damien who was standing near the window gave me a menacing look.
"Now you're acting to write songs when this Alan comes in the conversation?" His swift strides like a knight on patrol towards me caused me to startle in my seat.
"Damien... don't be ridiculous. I'm trying to focus."
"What were you doing all these time then?" He snatched the fountain pen from my grip. The impact of his force caused the diary hit the ground brutally.
"You've gotten fancier hm?" He touched my skin with the iridium nib—a little ocean blue trailing along my upper arm.
"Stop Damien..." I hissed out the words as I sucked in a breath twitching under his dominating gaze.
He clamped down on me locking my body with both of his arms pinning me to the cramped space.
"Why should I? His breath ragged, hoarse as if he loved this torturing nature of his.
His teeth nipped the skin under my earlobe as his left hand slithered lower.
"Damien... stop..." I barely whispered that.
"You-you belong to me, my angel. Don't you dare step out of your limit circle." He gathered my wrists together then unbuckled his leather belt.
"Why are you doing this—" I pleaded biting my lips. His touch ignited fire in my blood and at the same time his words slapped me like a blizzard.
"Cause I can wait any longer!" He made a guttural sound tying up my hands as tightly as he could.
"Didn't we agree to—"
"Shut it my angel! Now obey this demon of yours."
He rolled me back-my chest now against the sofa-his body pressing down on my back as his hands readied themselves to remove my pants.
I trembled burying my face in the thick cushiony surface of the sofa. "No... Damien..."
We agreed to not do anything except kissing and small stuffs until I felt ready. I've never felt anything like this before. And being physically involved with someone was something I never did. I was nervous—when it came to him.
What if he leaves me once he's done with his physical needs? What if his desires for me fade over time? What if his family...
All sorts of questions somersaulted in my gut making me feel nauseous.
"I can't!" I wailed as the tears threatened to escape my corners. "Damien stop!"
He immediately uncuffed my hands yanking up my collar so I could face his eyes. Finally they rolled out against my will. What has become of Saint Angel?
"So you'd rather sleep with that new guy?!" He cupped up my chin relentlessly. His other hand pressed my hands firmly behind my back.
"It hurts you demon! Do you think I'd lie to you?"
My jaws clenched as I forced my body up to no avail. "You..! Do you remember what you did the other day? You almost pushed him out of the elevator because he had a close scene with me that day!"
"So that was him huh..." He let out a derisive laugh mixed with contempt and jealousy.
"You're selfish Damien," I cried out the words.
"Yes I am! When it comes to you." He loosened his grip on me a little.
"So you couldn't even wait until I was ready?"
"How much longer will I have to wait Saint? You belong to Damien Frost! Do you hear me?!"
As his voice ringed out louder than the usual meter of his tone I wriggled myself out like a slimy parasite feeling utterly powerless.
"I belong to myself Damien. You're selfish..! You only want to possess me like a prize."
"And what's wrong with that? I've not even gotten all of you. Do you have any idea how much I long for your touch?" He faced me this time, eyes full of untamed menace.
"It's becoming your obsession Damien! Do you still feel what you felt for me that night?" The tears nearly dried out on my skin-now only the nose remained a bright shade of red.
"Sein!" His blistering gaze wished to burn my heart.
"Don't you say that Damien-" I buttoned up my shirt, lips still quivering with all the emotions that resurfaced trying to submerge me along with them.
"Where do you think you're going?" His brows furrowed-lips curling up in a deep seated frown.
"Anywhere but here..." I hastily picked up the diary then gathered all the stuffs which I thought was relevant to take with me for the moment-among them were my recently bought clothes from the new collection, my watch, a few accessories and the perfume he gifted me.
"So you're...moving out? Leaving me here... How long are you going to stay without me?" An arrogant smirk spreaded across his now cherry red plump lips.
I used a lip stain on him yesterday evening-one I promoted recently. The shade remained over twelve hours making his features criminally attractive. I still couldn't digest that only a day could change so many things.
"Is that a challenge?" I posed the question feeling a thick solid ball of dough stuck in my throat.
Will I...be able to? Am I really leaving him? The stuffs were set to go beckoning my self respect-fanning the flames of my doubt and ego digging out the stoic persona once again. I dragged out the suitcase to the threshold cursing my heart for wishing him to stop me.
"What do you think?"
****
And I have lost the challenge, haven't I?
He reads the worry lines etched across my forehead in the mirror. I cannot let him know. He should never know what happened to me.
As if catching up with my thoughts that irritated me immensely, he asks, "How did you end up in the hospital anyway?"
Talk about demons knowing deepest thoughts! I glance sideways but still could discern his eyes searching mine for answers that struggled to come out.
"I lost the challenge I guess." I couldn't just keep my eyes away forever or who else would drive now that I'm handling the wheel already.
"What challenge?" His question is oblivious with no pun attached.
If I were to leave him forever... Will he feel the same distorted agony? Will he go through the same torment that I... Perhaps I've sunk too deep in this mad ocean of affinity—Too ignorant to realize that his own careless blurting could have such effect on me-that's him summed up.
"My angel, why are you so quiet? I asked you something."
Where should I go now? At his from where I stepped out and he didn't stop me or at my place where I stayed alone for almost three months for the first time after leaving his place?
"You have a meeting at their place this evening," I say stalling for time and also fumbling for a different topic to reap if he bugs me again.
"I don't care." He puts his hand on the window sill spacing out with a caustic expression labeled up on his upfront. He won't let it go. He's not over dramatic but if he's in the mood...who can sway his mind elsewhere?
Unless...
"Where should I take you Damien Frost? My small apartment I doubt will grace you properly."
"I doubt your place is small." He says indifferently with head still close to the window staring out. "But it's a lie that it can't grace me properly. Anywhere you stay in this world will be able to greet me wholeheartedly cause the place itself doesn't have any credit."
I can't help feeling a weird ball of warmth coiling around inside my body as it continues to spread wide reaching the ends of my arms and legs.
Why don't you just stop your sweet talking treacherous mouth Damien? Will you just kill me already—cause I can't guarantee my own ability to live the way I used to once.
When the heart is infected can the brain produce a cure?
I head to my place taking him there with me. I already called Mika telling him to get his car. He said he'd come an hour later.