Dani's Diary
I wrote this because if I said any of this out loud, someone would try to fix me, and then I'd cry, and I wasn't emotionally available for that kind of meltdown today.Today was… long.Long like the line at the coffee shop when the espresso machine decided to make a noise that sounded like a dying squirrel. Long like the lecture my professor gave about "proper sleep hygiene" while I sat there running on three hours and a prayer.Work started at 6 a.m.My soul did not.There was something humbling about handing rich people their oat-milk-whatever while my bank app kept sending me notifications that felt like personal insults. One man actually tipped me in coins. COINS. I jingled like a medieval peasant walking to the back to make his drink.But hey—I smiled.Because that was what you did when your dad's medical bills were climbing again and your brother needed new shoes and life didn't take coupons.Classes were a blur.I took notes I couldn't read.Ate a granola bar that tasted like sadness.Pretended everything was fine.It wasn't.But pretending was free, so I pretended a lot.I came back to the dorm and Evangeline was lying on her bed like a soft-luxe mermaid complaining about how her "gold-infused moisturizer" was pilling. I told her I didn't know moisturizer could pill. She told me I was adorable. I told her poor people didn't use gold on their faces unless it was jewelry.She laughed.I didn't mention the overdue electric bill at home.Small details.My side of the room looked like a thrift store coughed. Her side looked like Pinterest achieved nirvana. Somehow we didn't clash. Somehow she thought I was funny instead of tragic. I liked her for that.Dad called tonight.Weak voice.Soft apology.He always said sorry for things that weren't his fault.I joked about burning down the hospital to erase his bills.He laughed.I didn't mean it.But maybe I kind of did.Mom sounded tired behind him.Mateo tried to pretend school was fine.I pretended to believe him.And then I was here.Writing this.Trying not to think about how heavy everything felt lately.I kept telling myself tomorrow would be better.Even if that was a lie.But lies were free too.And I was on a budget.
— End of Entry.