Alice, Alice, Alice. Alice just ghosted me, effectively ending our friendship which was my claim to fame and relevance and leaving me enraged and sad and feeling petty and spoiling for revenge but how do I go about getting revenge on Alice, a cultural icon beloved by all. Well, spoiling her reputation, which is a solid 10 by the way, is how but how do I spoil that perfection? By spoiling my ex friend's image and not just any image but that image. That image of her in Wonderland is her most loved image and by ruining that, I will have begun the process that will ultimately destroy her popularity and that is what I am going to try to do. —Ex Friend
Preview
Alice is a liar for she is not actually Alice, that loveable girl you all know and love but actually a lice. Can you believe that, that Alice is a lice? —Ex Friend
"I must be getting somewhere near the center of the earth. Let me see: that would be fourth thousand miles down, I think—" —'Alice'. I think that miles down is Miles Davis' Down and 4000 of that 2 minutes and 53 seconds is 8.00925926 days so yeah, she would have died before reaching Wonderland. —Ex Friend
"Well! I've often seen a nut without a cracker," thought a lice; "but a cracker without a nut! It's the most Kurious thing I ever saw in my life!"
"We are all nuts here."
—The Nutcracker
The Hatter and the March Hare described as "both made" by the Nutcracker.
"The March Hare will be much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is [Louisa] May it won't be raving mad—at least not so mad as it was in March" by a lice means that 'the madness of March' which is the following of not one but four March sisters will be replaced by May which is Louisa May Alcott which is Jo March only as it was her self insert, making the March hare/March her/ Jo March much more interesting to a lice.
"It was all very well to say "Drink me," but the wise little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry. "No, I'll look first," she said, "and see whether it's marked 'poisson' or not" —A lice
"Off with hare head!"
—Q of ❤️❤️
The cat-er-pillar? asks a lice who she is. The irony.
"Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle!" is practically indistinguishable from "Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle!" but in the 2020s, this quote hits different.