What have I done?
'Man you okay?' said Rick who was by my side.
I nodded. My brothers told everyone to go and they did. The only people who were outside was my brothers and Josh.
They all looked at me. I was frozen. I was sitting on the ground. Jack ran away when I was trying to get to Ruby.
I made everything worse. I was trying to help her and all I did was make it worse. Before Ruby came, I was trying to talk to Jack. I had to show him that we were the bad guys in school. I wasn't planning on fighting but then he started hitting me. No one hits Conor. I hit him back and just when I thought It couldn't get worset, Ruby saw me on top of him. She thinks that I did this. That I planned all of this. And worst of all, she thinks its her fault. I can't believe it. Just because I wanted to make her laugh, I made her cry. She hates me.I made her cry.
'Man you okay?' Matt said looking at my punched face. My face hurt but I didn't care.
'This is bad, this is really bad.' Josh was keep on saying the words. Going back and forth in the playground.
'You know what this means, don't you?' Josh said staring at me with anger. Well, why wouldn't he be? I just made his bestfriend cry. If I was him, I would have punched myself.
'Chill out Josh, We won't get into trouble.' Rick said. Rick was right. Even if we nearly killed someone in this school, we won't be kicked out.Unless my dad finds out of course.
'I'm not on about that, for goodness sake!' He shouted. We all looked at him. His face was red with anger. In his eyes, I saw that he was scared.Scared of what?
'Ruby.... Oh my God, Ruby.' He looks so pale.What have I done? I didn't know what I was getting into. I don't care what happens to me. I care what happens to Ruby. Well you did a good job, I muttered to myself sarcastically. Just then, it started rain. Josh and brothers stood there waiting for me. Waiting for what we are going to do. I was their leader. They know lots of safe things we can do right now, but without my brothers, they would'nt do anything. But why was Josh getting so worked up like something bad was going to happen?
'Josh, whats up?' I said nudging him. He was frozen looking at the ground but he finally spoke.
'Look guys, Ruby would hate me for what I'm going to say but shes....'
I stood up. 'Shes what?' I said.
Matt gave a napkin. I took it and started cleaning my face. Every touch was like a sting of a bee.
Josh just froze looking at the floor. He looked like he didn't want to tell us.
'What Josh?' I said getting impatient. He was hiding something. Something important.
'She might... She might have ran away.' Josh said still looking at the ground.
'What? Are you crazy?'
'When she was little...' he said like he didn't her me. 'She got scared of anything that hurt the people she loves.'
'What?' I said confused.
'I can't tell you-'
'Look, do you want me to find her or not?' I said trying to ignore the pain that was in my stomach.
He nodded. He took a deep breath like he was going to say something big.
'She loves you Conor.' He said looking at me with hope. Wait, she likes me. She doesn't just like me, she loves me. I can't believe this. But there was so many question.
'What... wait, you said-'
'I see the way she looks at you. The same way I look at Cam. It was really obvious she likes you and when I told her about you, she tried to hide her feelings and just said she didn't like you back.
It was raining cats and dogs. I quickly sat under a tree that didn't really prevent the rain from going on top of me but I didn't care. I wanted something that is so hard to get. Something that everyone has. I want safety. I love my mum and I love my friends but I can't expect them to keep me safe.They all just going to move on. Josh and Cam are going to only care about eachother. My mum will get remarried and I will just live my life alone.I know I am going over the top but right now, its the only thing that makes sense. I heard a moterbike in the distant. Everyone is getting on with their life and look at me, I'm just sitting here crying my eyes out. Why am I even crying? Because I saw Conor with blood on his face? Its so simple.I keep on hiding the fact that I love him. More than a normal person does. Whats so special about him? Why can't you choose who you like?Why can't you just find a simple decent person and just love them? Why? Why do I love Conor?Its hurting me just seeing him hurt, its going to hurt more when I know that I can't have him. I stopped crying. I know that crying will not take you anywhere. I wiped my tears away and took deep breaths in. 'Ok, lets go home and have a new start.' I said to myself. I quickly got up and walked down the street.
'Ruby!' Someone shouted. I looked back to see Callums scared face. He put his hands on his knees like he was exhausted. He started coughing.
I ran to him and told him to sit down. There was a park just near us.
When we got to the park, he sat one swing while I got him water. He drank half of it and gave it back. I sat down on the other swing.
'I was finding you everywhere. Do you know how long it took for me to find you? 2 hours!' He shouted looking at me with sadness in his eyes.
I looked at the bird that was with its chicks at the far end of the park.
'You didn't have to find me.' I said still staring at the bird who was now giving food to the babies. I could sense that he was staring at me.
'Why do you hate me so much?' He said.
'I don't hate you. I just hate the way you treat people.' I said.
'No, listen to me. Theres something wrong and your not telling me. I could see it in your eyes.You alway try to run away from me. Always.' He said still staring at me. If only he knew about why I hate him. About who he reminded me of. If he did know, he would just walk away. But he doesn't.
I looked at him. 'Okay your right.' I had to do this.He looked at me waiting.
'I hate you. I hate the way you talk to me. I hate the way you use money like its nothing. Theres people out there that are not so lucky and instead of showing some sympathy, you try to show off with your money. I hate the way you never care about anyone else. And I hate the way you are always going to be the same. The same spoilt brat.' I screamed at him without stopping. I put as much hatred on my face. And it hurt. He looked at me like I shot him. He was hurt. So hurt that he was gripping the swing from falling. If only I could tell him I love him. If only life was fair.
I was about to cry. I quickly ran out of the park leaving him. I hated seeing him like this. It was torture. I couldn't take it anymore. It was raining so much, my tears were mixed with the rain. If only the rain could wash away the hurt inside me like it washes my tears. I sat inside the bustop.No one was here. Good. If they saw me like, they would ask me what is wrong and that is worser.
Someone touched my shoulder. I looked back to see Conor. How did he get here so fast?
'Look before you say anything.' He said bending his knees infront of me so he was the same level as my eyes. I couldn't help but stare into them.The eyes that I always saw happiness in them were now filled with hurt and sadness.
'Okay.