After Brenic's death, restraint stopped feeling virtuous.
It felt cowardly.
I stopped thinking in terms of whether the cost would fall and started thinking about where.
During the next assignment briefing, I requested the forward position.
Captain Greve studied me for a long moment. "You're volunteering."
"Yes."
"That's not your usual approach."
"It's the correct one."
He didn't argue. He rarely did.
The operation unfolded fast. The threat was mobile, aggressive, and poorly mapped. Exactly the kind of situation where escalation spread unpredictably.
I didn't hold back.
I didn't erase it either.
I took the pressure directly.
Mana surged against me—harder than before. Resistance bit into muscle and bone. For the first time, effort wasn't theoretical.
It hurt.
The fight ended slower than it could have. Slower than my instincts demanded.
But when it was over, the surrounding area felt… quiet.
Reports confirmed it hours later.
No secondary incidents.No delayed surges.No unrelated casualties.
Elian found me afterward, eyes sharp.
"You took it all," he said.
"Yes."
"For how long?"
I didn't answer.
Because I didn't know.