I no longer understand...
I want to die...
I want to live...
Is this worth it?
Falling into the...
Void...
What is the void?
It is my fall into the abyss...
I no longer feel anything like before; I don't want to wake up and I don't want to sleep.
My life is a void...
Thinking about eating makes me feel sick because this body is not mine. I want to enjoy my body and not suffer.
Lior is the name of another boy's body, who fell asleep and never woke up again.
I don't know the name of this body, I don't know who I am.
If I were Lior, I wouldn't have had to go through this; it was this body's destiny, and this body is not me.
Something always changes, but changing doesn't mean losing the life you have built. I no longer have my body; I lost everything I had.
"..."
If one has to suffer, then what is the point of continuing to live?
If one has to die, then what is the point of continuing to suffer?
Why do I want to live if it causes me pain? Why do I want to live if my body is in pieces? Why do I want to live if my body is no longer mine?
What am I?
I am something completely new; my real body has been left behind.
Lior is now a demihuman cat boy. He has blue eyes, as well as a mark on his forehead. His body is slender and feminine; he also has a tail and cat ears.
Now he is different...
He is in an alternate world, where at some point he thought about getting used to living. Something that was very painful and difficult for him, since he had his family and friends in his original world.
His life was normal; he enjoyed it and did not wish to change it. He was reincarnated without a choice—why him?
No divinity granted him a gift, much less a justification.
One day he appeared in a dungeon, then he was sold, and now he was working in the mansion of some random noble.
What is this? Why didn't he question his situation more?
This is not a bad dream; it is reality. He was never going to see his family again.
Why did he accept an imposed job without reason?
He didn't question the choices or anything; he just obeyed and obeyed.
He thought himself intelligent and strategic, someone special who, in this fantastic world, would have some mission. Perhaps a divinity would appear to him at some point; then he could return to his family. Most likely, he thought he was protected by that same entity, because he had been sent to another world. He was a man—no one would take advantage of a man, right?
"..."
The stupidity of human beings...
I was a very naive person; that's why I am the way I am.
It was my fault that I ended up here. Now I have to feel this again and again, because I am a slave destined for this end.
"..."
Keep feeling...
Keep going like this...
Suffer until dying while alive...
Is that his future?
Assuming it is quite horrible, but it can be understood that way.
I will...
I will...
"..."
I can't... I don't want to...
Lior doesn't want to keep suffering, Lior wants to be free and return to his body. Why won't they let Lior return to his body?
Lior is a good boy, Lior has fulfilled all his duties today—so why is this his reward?
Master Akuma said that Lior would be rewarded for his effort. Lior didn't want his reward to be the destruction of his new body.
Lior didn't want to be rewarded with that, because it hurts so much and this body feels wrong. Lior wanted to see his family again, he wanted to be back in his body.
I never wanted to be here, this world does not belong to me. I arrived here as a slave who was destined to suffer; my body was predetermined for this.
I have always felt strange, I thought that sooner or later I would get used to it.
"..."
Is being Lior different from being me?
"..."
I don't want to get used to this. Lior doesn't want to be an object—I am a person, not a doll.
I never asked to reincarnate, Lior never asked to reincarnate. Lior was happy with his family in his world—why do they want to strip him of his humanity?
My mind can't take this, Lior can't endure it, I want to die and die and die to finally calm down. Lior wants peace because he had never felt this, they had never done this to me.
My body hurts so much, my eyes—I don't know what they're seeing, my hair is a mess and my scalp hurts, my mouth has a bitter taste, my arms have no strength, my legs have no strength, and my body is covered in a disgusting liquid.
My tail hurts—when they pulled it, I thought it was going to tear off...
"..."
Eyes...
See...
I can't see anything because it's all dark, there is no light here in this room, and I don't want anyone to come in and see me like this.
I feel unprotected, I feel ashamed to be naked...
But...
Is thinking about that worth it?
"... "
Lior is broken—alive, yet at the same time dead...
[Lior: Lior...]
"..."
Lior... I still don't understand you.
"..."
Am I worth it as a human being? Is thinking about that worth it?
In fact...
Is it even worth thinking anymore?
[Lior: ...]
"..."
He just stared at the wall...
"..."
He just stared at the wall...
"..."
Waiting for something...
"..."
Right?
"..."
...
"..."
...
"..."
Footsteps could be heard from time to time, sounds of birds and a light slipping in through the gaps between the door and its frame.
The sound of water being poured, the sounds of whips, screeching metal sounds, the sound of ceramic, murmurs, yawns, laughter, crying, blows, moans...
Sounds, sounds, sounds, sounds, sounds, sounds...
The world moved on, and Lior was collapsed.
His breathing echoed at the back of his neck, his eyes stared at a sad sheet stained with something white—something sticky, disgusting.
He sniffed nauseating smells; his tail was over his leg, his ears were there.
His body felt foreign, he couldn't recognize himself in it, but he was guided by the most basic sensations.
His head hurt, his tail hurt, his mouth hurt, his feet hurt, his back, his hair, ears, cheeks, throat—along with areas he thought would never be touched by someone other than himself.
Filled, dead, massacred.
Lior was lying on his bed, his clothes were torn and his entire body was exposed. His back was full of marks from whippings, along with bruises and scratches caused by Akuma the night before. His body suffered severe spasms while being subjected.
His wrists were marked by his master's hands, as well as his neck. His vision was limited not only because it was dark, but also because it was a little blurry.
His breathing was broken—similar to an asthmatic patient's. He was constantly gasping.
He was simply shattered, both internally and externally.
The shine in his blue eyes had faded, leaving only an empty, purposeless gaze. Part of his bangs fell in front of his face, limiting his vision even more.
His face was pressed against the disordered sheets, leaving half of it uncovered so he could breathe.
He was dead...
But he was still breathing.
"..."
[Lior: Ah...]
"..."
Broken mind, violated mind, burned mind—feelings clashing with one another. Stagnant memories, endless thoughts, repetitions, tangled fears.
"..."
[Lior: Ny... ah...]
"..."
What is that? Nothing, it's nothing.
Fear... Lior is afraid...
"..."
[Lior: No...]
"..."
Don't do anything to Lior—stop it! He doesn't enjoy it! It hurts, it hurts him so much. You're going to break him—that's not how it's used. It hurts, it hurts!
"..."
[Lior: It hu... rts...]
"..."
Lior is going to die—Lior is going to die! Why does his master enjoy it? Lior can't take it anymore! Lior will die!
"..."
[Lior: Ahg...]
Abyss... a void that he felt.
He couldn't see himself, but he felt himself. He didn't want to feel—because it hurt.
His thoughts and himself—there was only that, nothing else.
There is nothing...
He doesn't want to be anything...
Thinking hurts so much...
Pain...
Pain...
I felt...
I want to die!
But I'm already dead...
I don't move, Lior doesn't move.
My legs? I can't feel them anymore.
There's something else! Is there something else?!
Nothing—NOTHING!
I can't take it, I really can't take it anymore.
That's it...
DIE! DIE! DIE!
IF YOU DIE, I WON'T SUFFER ANYMORE—DYING IS MY SALVATION FROM ALL OF THIS!
Nothing...
SOMEONE!
There's nothing left...
Dying is my salvation...
This is something unforgivable, insane, unhinged.
"..."
Trash... TRASH, TRASH, TRASH, TRASH, TRASH!
You don't have the right to live...
Nothing...
I want to die...
I want to die...
I want to die...
"..."
My eyes can't see anymore...
But...
I'm alive...
"..."
I WANT TO DIE—PLEASE, SOMEONE KILL ME NOW!
No one will, no one is going to—you're worth so little that no one wants to finish you off.
Trash...
You're trash—a piece of shit...
"..."
I'm looking...
Something...
I don't feel my breathing like before, but it hurts all over.
I don't want to suffer...
Not anymore...
JUST THAT WAS ENOUGH FOR ME!
"..."
I'll look...
I'll look...
I'll die...
"..."
...
"..."
CLICK
"..."
[Lior: Uh?]
A fleeting sound.
"..."
[Lior: ...]
The door to the place opened with a soft sound.
[Lior: Ah...]
Daylight illuminated the room, but it quickly dimmed—only a faint light remained, one that Lior could barely perceive.
"..."
Footsteps, approaching—slow but careful. They stopped in front of him to contemplate the horrible sight.
Breathing—something rising and falling, uneven. Sounds of something moving, unsettling.
Someone...
Someone was behind Lior, looking at the naked, damaged back of his body.
Someone...
[???: I'm sorry...]
That's what was said...
[Lior: Uh... ny... ah...]
Lior was startled, he was afraid—what were they going to do to him? Why were they apologizing? It hurt Lior so much...
Lior doesn't want to feel what he already felt. His body hurts, he won't endure it anymo—
[???: S-sorry... Lior...]
"..."
[Lior: ah...]
Wait...
That voice... that tone...
It's someone Lior knows...
"..."
Footsteps again—they moved to the side, then stopped when the mysterious person sat beside Lior, on his bed.
He knew her, he knew who it was...
That's why...
[Lior: Miss... Chiyo...]
[Chiyo: I'm sorry... Lior...]
She held her face with both hands, after placing a lamp on the bedside table.
Tears slipped through her fingers as she tried to silence her sobs.
She felt pity—one could say that—as she watched an innocent and somewhat foolish boy beside her...
Destroyed, broken, dead—just as she had predicted.
[Chiyo: Lior...]
Seeing him like this...
Is it really worth doing this?
No one knows. These feelings have never truly been forgotten.
[Chiyo: ...]
A salvation...
Well, it's never wrong to dream from time to time.
[Chiyo: ...]
As Chiyo tried to wipe away her tears, she turned her head toward the body—his tail hanging low, his ears drooping as well.
[Chiyo: ...]
Fear—she saw it in the demihuman cat. Many emotions were mixed together too, since it was obvious his abuse had been traumatic.
Something was simple—but for Lior it meant losing everything, so for the moment the only thing she could do to compensate for his pain was to do something herself.
[Chiyo: ...]
Hope, terror, fear—none of that works in this shitty world. Something simpler will help him, something simpler will pull him out of this torture from time to time.
[Chiyo: ...]
To look...
She looked at him and fully opened her hands, placing her palms toward him, over his back.
[Chiyo: Stay calm... I'm not going to do anything to you...]
Lior tried to move with what little strength he had left. Despite having rested all night, the wounds and stress had stripped him of all mobility. He was frightened by what Chiyo was about to do.
[Chiyo: C-close your eyes... trust me...]
Chiyo looked at him with pity; Lior was afraid of feeling once again some kind of unbearable pain like all the previous ones.
[Lior: M-Miss... don't do anything to Lior...]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: Lior doesn't... want to...]
Chiyo looked at him—Lior was lying there, unable to do anything, a desperation growing inside him. The demihuman's body began to tremble.
[Chiyo: Ca-calm down... really... I-I'm not going to do anything to you...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Close... your eyes... you'll see that all your pain will pass]
Lior kept looking at her, only moving his eyes—his head remained still.
Chiyo brought her hand to the cat's head and gently stroked him to calm him. She did it softly and delicately, so as not to cause any discomfort.
Lior only closed his eyes, following Chiyo's gentle words.
[Lior: It's not... going to hurt... right?]
[Chiyo: N-no... that won't happen...]
[Lior: ...]
With determination, Chiyo placed her hands back over the cat's back.
Her mind was still lost in unnecessary thoughts—each conflicting feeling threw her further off balance.
To think...
Chiyo gasped for a moment; her breathing was also uneven, but she kept complete control over herself. Lior could do nothing but feel his body throbbing.
[Chiyo: ...]
She turned to look at his back and the rest of his body—the feminine figure unsettled her, since the person there was a man. She only looked at him very superficially: his scars, his marks, everything. It was a disgusting scene.
Chiyo simply turned to look at her hands and closed her eyes.
"..."
What was she going to do?
Something simple...
Something...
"..."
[Chiyo: Bless... holy father of the world... creator of life and health...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Divine being in whose form we were created...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: I ask you, as an arrogant being and part of the Pecus... please help him... pass your power over me... and aid me in my purpose]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: I invoke you... blessing of the divine world... Sanitas tibi advenire debet]
"..."
[Lior: Ah...]
Something...
A sensation...
Something...
What?
Light...
He had to open his eyes to know...
Vision...
Sight...
Something...
[Lior: Uh...]
A light appeared on Lior's back.
Something artificial coming from Chiyo's hands—they were in contact with Lior's body.
[Lior: W-what... ah...]
That light was magical—a green flash with a golden tint. A brilliant manifestation, contact through a spell. The light appeared after Chiyo recited a series of words praising a divinity.
[Lior: ...]
It was something beautiful—something that brought you back to the world, something dazzling. Chiyo was immersed in her concentration, staring fixedly at his back.
Lior lay there, watching the entire scene in disbelief. His tail, strangely, began to move from side to side—delicately, without interrupting Chiyo. His ears perked up. His eyes—now able to see—no longer had that blur that limited his vision.
The shine in Lior's eyes was restored, if only for this moment.
[Lior: Incre... dible...]
Lior watched the act; the sensation he felt was indescribable. A mix of pleasure, hope, comfort, and peace—all blended together in a moment of sorrow.
Life returns—it is felt and drawn back to the outside world. Dying no longer seems possible, because the suffering is being treated.
[Lior: Ah...]
His breathing returned to normal, his body no longer hurt, his energy was spent—but now he felt his mobility. Lior was alive.
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Ah...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Better... right?]
Lior's mind was so lost that he didn't feel the moment when that hopeful light faded away.
[Chiyo: I was able to reconstruct your damaged abdomen; I also healed minor wounds. I think you should be able to move properly now...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Since it was your first time, your body wasn't prepared to receive it. In fact, you're a man—and you're not meant to be made for this...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: I healed and reinforced your body. You're not stronger, but now you have more resistance than before... That cost me a lot of mana, so I'm pretty weak...]
Chiyo looked at the cat boy with exhausted, fatigued eyes—it wasn't a lie that her strength was depleted, since using mana is just as demanding as doing cardio.
Her body had drained its reserves; she was simply exhausted. Lior didn't respond to her explanations.
[Chiyo: Now... are you okay? Everything should have worked the way I explained]
[Lior: ...]
"..."
[Chiyo: ...]
Chiyo looked at the cat boy who was still lying on his bed. Strangely, he wasn't moving—but his tail had been swaying for a while.
She knew he was already healed, but she didn't understand the reason for his stillness.
Until...
[Lior: Miss... Chiyo... is that magic?]
[Chiyo: Ah... what?]
[Lior: It's incredible... now Lior's body doesn't hurt anymore...]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: Lior is very grateful...]
Chiyo stared blankly at the cat boy who, strangely, asked such silly things. Lior slowly sat up on his bed, which was dirty and sticky.
[Chiyo: Ah... Lior... wait—are you okay?]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: I've never used a blessing on someone unrelated to me; maybe I didn't do it correctly, or...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: ...]
The two maids were sitting on the bed, facing each other. Lior looked at Chiyo with an expression...
Somber...
[Chiyo: Lior...]
[Lior: Uh... what?]
[Chiyo: Why are you like this? I healed you properly, as far as I know—does your head hurt?]
[Lior: Uhm... Lior doesn't understand what Miss Chiyo is talking about. Lior is happy now because his body doesn't hurt anymore... that's why I...]
[Chiyo: ...]
Chiyo looked at Lior with concern; her hand quickly went to his forehead—perhaps it was a fever, even though her blessing should have taken care of all discomfort.
[Lior: Lior is fine, Miss. I feel good...]
[Chiyo: Huh?]
[Lior: Uhm?]
Chiyo opened her eyes wide as she noticed something very strange within Lior. Lior only tilted his head in a lost manner—he didn't understand his lady's concern.
[Chiyo: Hey... Lior... why? Yesterday you weren't saying that]
[Lior: Uhm? I don't understand, Miss]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Lior...]
[Lior: Uhm?]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
Both maids looked into each other's eyes.
Chiyo's blue eyes were somewhat dim—but their inner shine remained; her consciousness was stable, for the moment.
Lior had no shine...
[Chiyo: Lior...]
"..."
[Lior: Lior... is fine, Miss Chiyo]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: Thank you for healing me...]
[Chiyo: ...]
Chiyo looked at the effeminate cat's face; Lior looked at the strawberry-blonde cat woman.
Both—straight into each other's eyes...
There was no trace of passion or feeling in Lior's eyes; they felt alien to him. He couldn't explain what they conveyed—his eyes said nothing. Only something dark and soulless could come through like that.
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: ...]
Both...
The two of them, seated...
Chiyo tried to read Lior, but she simply couldn't—his eyes said nothing. Lost, unable to find a destination, it was like looking at a corpse.
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: Lior is fine... he has to work... right?]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: Right... right? Miss Chiyo...]
Chiyo felt a deep sense of discomfort. Lior was like looking at something inhuman—but it could be said that, at this moment, Lior was dehumanized.
[Lior: ...]
Sunken—falling without sense, turning—what for? I am what, I am fine, Lior is fine, I am him and I understand that he is fine because I am him.
Power... loss... identity...
Abuse... break... shatter...
Not looking and looking—those are different things. Falling and rising, until vomiting.
I can't...
There's nowhere for me to stay. Lost—I am an object that has to be used.
Lior is an object, Lior is this body.
[Lior: ...]
I am... dead...
[Lior: ...]
Lior...
[Lior: ...]
I...
Fall...
Fall...
"####"
Fall...
"####"
Fall...
"####"
Fall...
"..."
...
"..."
...
I am...
"..."
I am ####
"..."
I am ##
"..."
...
There is nothing there is nothing no nothing I am nothing seeing nothing in the nothing I am someone...
Someone swimming in a pool... end... there is no end...
I am ####
I want to be someone...
I am ##
Lior
Me
No
I look inside— I don't see myself, I am indifferent, do I want to suffer? I am something that has been used and does not want to be used again.
"..."
I die...
In the void...
"..."
What?
"..."
...
"..."
...
?
"..."
...
Nothing
"..."
...
Kill me.
Kill me.
Kill me.
"..."
Kill him.
Kill him.
Kill him.
"..."
...
"..."
Look...
Look...
Look...
"..."
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chiyo was standing in front of Lior, but he didn't respond to her; his face had gone pale and his eyes turned to stare at nothing.
His vision was broken—he seemed blind, without any sense of orientation. Staring at nothing is strange. Lior now spoke like someone foreign to himself.
[Chiyo: ...]
Is there a reason? Not recognizing one's body after being used is fairly normal, but this is already at an exaggerated level. The way he speaks makes no sense—he sounds like an idiot.
[Chiyo: ...]
She looked at the thin body—half-naked and malnourished. The pajama sleeves were still there, and the dress was kept over Lior from the front. On the other side, his body was exposed.
[Chiyo: Hey]
Lior was in an extremely delicate state; Chiyo couldn't afford to be careless. She saw no blinking—his body was static.
Chiyo analyzed what she could, stringing together meaningless visual conjectures.
[Chiyo: Hey, Lior]
Her master, Akuma, had been in a very good mood—something strange over the past few days. He claimed to feel completely renewed.
He rarely said such things, even after having sex with Chiyo in the past. Something strange was happening—something disturbing and disgusting.
[Chiyo: Hey!]
Had her master seen something new in the cat boy? All those screams were horrible—painful to hear and torturous.
It was a nightmare; he had lived through hell in just a few hours.
[Chiyo: Hey, Lior!]
What had Akuma done to Lior to make him scream like that? Those were screams of torture—screams of excessive pain. Constant moans and cries.
[Chiyo: Wait...]
Maybe... those screams...
No...
Those screams of pain and suffering—perhaps they made him feel different.
[Chiyo: Come back, Lior! You're dissociating!]
She had never made those kinds of sounds—ever since she arrived at the mansion, all the way to her promotion to personal maid. She had already been trained; she was used to broken and perverse treatment.
But Lior...
[Chiyo: Wake up!]
Maybe her master, Akuma. Maybe he likes this kind of stimulation...
Maybe he discovered a new fetish with the cat boy—maybe Lior's screams...
[Chiyo: Ah...]
Akuma might now enjoy suffering as pleasure—maybe he enjoys human suffering mixed with lust. Perhaps he chose Lior for that reason.
[Chiyo: No... that's too much...]
She had never seen someone so damaged afterward. Lior looked like a living corpse.
[Chiyo: My... God...]
His injuries—some were superficial, but the vast majority were internal. Something done consciously. Something done to cause pain to the one receiving it.
[Chiyo: Lior!]
It could be that Akuma inflicted all that damage deliberately—that all those screams were caused by genuine pain, not pleasure mixed in.
[Chiyo: Hey, Lior!]
Every second was torture, every minute was hours—the pain the demihuman felt was deliberately inflicted!
[Chiyo: Hey!]
Now she stood before a living corpse—a body with a rotten soul.
[Chiyo: Lior!]
He was now dead while alive!
[Chiyo: HEY!]
"..."
...
"..."
[Lior: Ah...]
"..."
[Chiyo: Stupid... what's wrong with you, why are you like this?]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Think and react, man. What's happening to you?]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: I don't care how you talk, but try not to do this—you're overthinking things that aren't worth it]
[Lior: ...]
Ah...
It's true...
[Chiyo: Uhmm...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: W-well... now we have to go back to work...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: You're fine... you just have to focus on other things and try to get used to it... it's not as hard as it sounds...]
[Lior: ...]
Still...
[Chiyo: Change those clothes. Take off that torn pajama, I'll bring you a new one later]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: The uniform is on your nightstand, I'll leave you to put it on, so I'm going to step out. I've already done everything I had to do here]
[Lior: ...]
"..."
No...
I understand...
"..."
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Lior... I know you're affected and all that... but you can't stay here...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Try to get over it... or those kinds of things...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: You know what I mean...]
Who...
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
I am
[Chiyo: Ugh... huh? Lior?]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Why? You grabbed my skirt—]
[Lior: ...]
Who...
"..."
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Lior... are you crying?]
[Lior: ...]
I am...
[Chiyo: Oh... now you're hugging me...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Lior...]
[Lior: ...]
I....
"..."
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: Li-]
[Lior: Miss...]
"..."
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
I...
[Chiyo: ??]
[Lior: I... don't want...]
"..."
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
"..."
[Lior: More...]
Who am I?
"..."
[Lior: Lior... h-he... he-has...]
[Chiyo: ...]
"..."
[Lior: M-my... m-my... fear]
[Chiyo: ...]
"..."
[Lior: And he... doesn't... want...]
[Chiyo: ...]
"..."
[Lior: To go back...]
[Chiyo: ...]
"..."
[Lior: To that...]
"..."
...
"..."
...
"..."
Bluish eyes looking at each other...
[Chiyo: Lior...]
[Lior: ...]
[Chiyo: No—]
[Lior: It hurts so much... it hurts so much...]
"..."
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: So much...]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
"..."
[Lior: Going back... to that...]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: I don't want to...]
"..."
Waist held, looking down from above. Waist held, looking up from below. Both pairs of eyes meeting. One dry, the other wet.
[Lior: Wh-why... ?]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: Wh-why does Lior have to go back?]
[Chiyo: ...]
"..."
[Lior: If Lior goes back... to work... at the end of the day...]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
"..."
[Lior: This...]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: Will... happen again... nya...]
[Chiyo: ...]
"..."
...
"..."
[Lior: And Lior doesn't want to... He doesn't want to! HE DOESN'T WANT TO SUFFER LIKE THIS AGAIN!]
[Chiyo: ...]
"..."
Trembling... trembling... shuddering...
"..."
[Lior: Lior...]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: Has already felt... enough...]
[Chiyo: ...]
"..."
[Lior: For what...]
"..."
[Chiyo: ...]
"..."
[Lior: does he...]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: have to...]
"..."
...
"..."
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
...
...
"..."
"..."
"..."
[Lior: ...]
"..."
[Lior: Live?]
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
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[Chiyo: Li—]
[Lior: I don't want to feel something like that again... Lior doesn't want to feel something like that again! It hurts... so much... I'm going to break again, nya... I don't want Lior's body to break! It hurts so much... It hurts so much...]
[Chiyo: ...]
Sobs...
[Lior: I'm sorry... Miss Chiyo...]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: I'm sorry... S-sorry...]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: I'm sorry, nya]
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
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[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: But I don't want to keep going like this...]
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[Chiyo: ...]
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[Chiyo: ...]
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"..."
Lior was sobbing—sobs he tried to hold back, yet they kept slipping out.
Tears flowed from his eyes, and as his face pressed against Chiyo's dress, they soaked it. The warmth of his breath could be felt, brushing directly against the blonde maid's navel.
"..."
Chiyo looked down at him, seeing his head, his ears, his half-naked body.
[Chiyo: ...]
She watched his tears fall against her and the pathetic way he showed his feelings.
In contrast with the lamplight, she could see the boy's head—his shiny black hair, slightly long. Two pointed cat ears were visible on top, brushing against part of her breasts.
[Chiyo: ...]
Lior looked like a child seeking support from his mother—someone who needed something to lean on to keep going. He needed someone to accept him and tell him comforting things. He needed someone to guide him, for now. He needed someone to give him hope.
His tired, worn-out eyes—his way of acting was broken and shattered. The light no longer pointed to his eyes, but instead to his new destination: a tragic destination with no end.
[Chiyo: ...]
Have mercy... Chiyo...
Showing mercy to the boy was the normal, ethical thing to do—her common sense told her so. Supporting him, giving him a foundation and some kind of peaceful space, was something social beings like humans could provide.
Chiyo had to give him something so the boy wouldn't completely break—though it was already too late. He would never be the same again.
But...
Even so...
[Chiyo: ...]
She raised her hand, with the utmost care so as not to draw the demihuman's attention. Her intentions with that action were obvious.
[Chiyo: ...]
Looking down at him—it was time to give him something he could feel hope from. Something that would motivate him from now on.
[Chiyo: ...]
She raised her hand...
"..."
She raised it...
[Chiyo: ...]
[Lior: ...]
Lior lifted his head when he felt the movement. He saw Chiyo's hand moving toward his head.
Lior looked at it…
The hand…
He watched it, until finally…
It stroked him.
[Lior: Ah… Huh…]
[Chiyo: …]
Chiyo stroked Lior's head, touching his soft fur and ears with delicacy and gentleness. She stroked and stroked—she was stroking Lior, the cat boy who had just felt all of her pity.
Giving someone a bit of support is good. If we truly try, we can all move forward—this was just a misstep. Hope is the last thing to be lost, right?
But…
[Lior: Ah? M-miss… Chiyo…]
[Chiyo: …]
It was only for an instant…
She stood up from the bed. She also pulled her hand away from the cat's head.
Lior stayed there, staring at Chiyo's figure with tearful eyes, sitting with his legs in a W-shape. His tail stopped swaying, and his ears drooped.
He looked at Chiyo…
[Lior: Wh— What's wrong?]
[Chiyo: …]
[Lior: …]
Lior looked at Chiyo. Chiyo looked at Lior.
She saw—but that was all. Chiyo's face said nothing; her eyes were lost, without expression. Her blue eyes were empty and soulless, her body gave no indication of anything. Dark circles spoke of exhaustion, but nothing more. Tail and ears hung low.
Her soul emptied itself because of something Lior said. He doesn't know why she made that decision.
"..."
[Chiyo: …]
She looked at him…
From above…
[Chiyo: …]
She saw the pathetic, broken cat from above.
His body had been used as an object to provide pleasure and satisfaction.
His mind was shattered by a feeling of loneliness and fear.
Like a baby seeking support…
"..."
[Chiyo: …]
"..."
…
But it doesn't have to be that way.
…
"…"
[Chiyo: …]
She looked at him.
She kept her feelings to herself; she didn't want to give the boy any hope. He doesn't need hope—tomorrow will be harsh, and habit is what will help him survive.
Nothing. His heart has to stay empty.
Nothing. His heart has to rot.
Nothing. His heart has to break.
Nothing. His heart has to abandon dreams.
"Nothing… because I am the only one who is wrong."
Chiyo was supposed to be broken, empty, withered—but her heart wouldn't stop pumping foolish emotions. She felt pity for a poor cat boy, one of the hundreds she had seen throughout her life.
Her standard had cracked, but now she had to return. This had to be normal for her. She couldn't be the stupid girl who was abused ten years ago—especially not over a disposable, miserable cat.
She had to return to her work… she had to return to her role…
The cat boy had to learn to be strong, because life in this world has no mercy. His death would be a number—just another number among the countless who went through the same thing.
His life is dictated by destiny; he'll know whether he wants to live it or not. It's no longer worth crying over someone like that.
[Chiyo: …]
[Lior: …]
That's why he has to get used to it. Life is hard, and now he'll truly learn that. Sooner or later he'll see his choice—sooner or later he'll decide whether he wants his fate to be an early death, or a late one.
The selfish desire everyone has is to live, because the most horrible nightmare of a human being is death. He surely won't be an exception; he'll want to live, even if his life becomes torture.
[Chiyo: …]
He will decide whether to endure…
That's why she has to let him choose. She has to let him grow stronger, she has to let him get used to it.
When he finally has everything within himself and learns to control his suffering—that will be the moment to choose: to keep living, or to die like just another piece of trash.
[Chiyo: …]
"His choice will be to live…"
He's too cowardly to kill himself…
But…
"It's not worth thinking about that, because I have other matters."
[Chiyo: …]
[Lior: …]
"…"
Chiyo looked at the cat with disdain—but it was a brittle disdain. Her gaze was sharp, yet unpolished.
Lior saw her eyes, and—
[Lior: Ah…]
[Chiyo: …]
Chiyo turned toward the exit and proceeded to leave through the door, without looking back.
"…"
She walked through that small room, a room meant for yet another maid.
She walked toward a door located at one corner of the room; it connected to the exit.
She walked, leaving behind a young demihuman cat—with his consciousness shattered, with his mind dead and split into pieces.
She walked because now her duty was to go to work.
"…"
He doesn't matter; he's just a servant under her charge. As much as it hurts and as much as she regrets it, life is like that.
She can't give the cat boy false hope. She can't give him false hope, because that would be more cruel than letting him die.
It's not worth thinking about it—he'll get used to it.
"…"
He will have to get used to it.
He has to get used to it.
He will get used to it.
"…"
…
"…"
Walking toward the exit.
Walking toward the entrance.
Walking toward the daylight.
Walking toward the new day.
"…"
Chiyo…
She took the doorknob with both hands—
Static, standing still, motionless, staring straight ahead.
Nothing…
[Chiyo: …]
Her breathing hitched; her whole body trembled, though only slightly.
Nothing…
It's not worth it…
She remained staring at the door, the large wooden rectangle. Her hand gripping the knob.
…
[Chiyo: …]
Breathe—draw in air. A dense, stale draft from the lack of airflow, from being in an enclosed space.
Turn…
Open…
Without looking back…
She crossed the doorway as she opened it. She glanced to the side, seeing her hand gripping the knob, then quickly positioned herself.
Her gaze—
Lifeless—
Drifted behind her, devoid of any sparkle or emotion. She saw someone, sitting on the bed. She saw someone alone.
Nothing…
It's not worth it…
Her last look before losing him from sight. Her last look before he stopped being himself.
[Chiyo: …]
Her last look at her past self…
"…"
Goodbye…
"…"
Her last look at someone alive…
"…"
…
"…"
[Chiyo: Goodbye…]
"…"
…
"…"
[Chiyo: Lior…]
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The door closed completely.
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________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
[Lior: Ah...]
She left...
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She's gone...
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She's out...
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[Lior: She's gone... nya...]
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Look...
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A lamp...
On...
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Chiyo left her lamp on the nightstand.
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Light…
How beautiful…
[Lior: …]
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He could no longer feel his face; his eyes were only seeing.
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A light…
The lamp's light.
[Lior: ...]
Chiyo left it for him so he could see in the darkness and get dressed…
[Lior: ...]
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She gave him something…
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[Lior: ...]
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[Lior: Thank... you…]
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[Lior: Mi… ss…]
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[Lior: Chi... yo...]
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