Within the Land of Earth.
Kakuzu flew for a very, very long time and finally landed.
He looked up at the massive sun, then at the rocky terrain surrounding him. Kakuzu was confused.
"Aiyaya! F your grandpa! Brat! Where did you send me? Is this even the Ninja World?"
Obviously, coming from the barren Hidden Waterfall Village, even Kakuzu felt that the Waterfall was much better than this place. At least they had trees and water...
Kakuzu walked forward a bit and saw a stone gate with three big characters carved on it: Iwagakure (Hidden Stone Village).
Kakuzu hopped onto the stone wall and looked inside. The houses were all carved out of stone. It looked extremely impoverished...
"Is my boss reliable... this place doesn't look like it has any money..."
Without much effort, Kakuzu infiltrated the village.
"The security here is far worse than Konoha's..."
Suddenly, Kakuzu remembered two specific figures (Koki and Kotetsu) and shivered.
Kakuzu found a crowded area and started setting up his stall, shouting to sell his cigarettes.
"Cigarettes for sale! Cigarettes for sale! High-brand cigarettes from Konoha!"
Hearing it was from another village, some ninjas gathered around.
They looked but didn't see any tobacco leaves or pipes. They only saw some small white boxes...
Someone asked:
"Boss, are you sure these are imported from outside? Why don't I see any tobacco or pipes? Just these white boxes..."
Kakuzu smiled. He took an opened pack from his pocket, pulled out a cigarette, and waved it in front of them.
"See this? This is called a cigarette! Easy to carry, light it and smoke!"
The crowd looked at the small white stick in Kakuzu's hand, even more confused.
"How are we supposed to smoke this? You don't expect us to smoke the paper, do you?"
Kakuzu laughed.
"Country bumpkins! Don't understand, do you? Let me demonstrate!"
Kakuzu took out a box of matches, lit one, put the cigarette in his mouth, and lit it up.
He smoked right in front of the crowd.
"Hiss~ Phew~ Comfortable!"
Seeing Kakuzu enjoying it so much, the crowd leaned in closer.
"Boss, is it really that comfortable?"
Kakuzu smirked crookedly.
"That's right! After smoking, I feel like all the troubles in my heart have been suppressed~ This kick! It's huge!"
After saying that, Kakuzu took another drag.
Seeing Kakuzu enjoying himself, the crowd wanted to try it too.
"Boss, can we try one for free?"
Kakuzu exploded.
"What did you say? Free? That word doesn't exist in my dictionary! These are limited edition! First come, first served!" Kakuzu took another drag, looking smug.
The crowd asked:
"Then Boss, how much is a pack?"
"Yeah, Boss, you've been smoking for so long, tell us the price."
Kakuzu's smile faltered slightly.
"Don't rush! This stuff... 320 Ryo a pack!"
The crowd was shocked.
"Are you robbing us? 320 Ryo a pack? Is there gold in it?"
Kakuzu was unhappy.
"These are imported from Konoha! If you think it's expensive, I think it's expensive too! Do you want it or not?"
The crowd was troubled.
"Boss... that's too expensive. Is there a cheaper way to buy?"
Kakuzu grinned so wide his face almost split, because these people fell into his trap.
"A cheaper way? Sure! 16 Ryo for one stick!"
The crowd still felt it was a bit expensive.
But Kakuzu didn't care.
"This is all the stock I have. If you don't buy it, plenty of others will!"
After a while, someone couldn't resist and bought one. Then it spread from person to person. Soon, the cigarettes were sold out.
Kakuzu smiled so wide his back molars were visible. Mizuna had told him a pack cost 16 Ryo in Konoha. Kakuzu just flipped the price by 20 times.
While Kakuzu counted his money, something interesting happened in the crowd.
Those who couldn't afford a whole stick watched others smoke. Those with money who missed out watched too. Someone couldn't bear it and started sharing—two people smoking one cigarette, splitting the cost (AA style).
Soon, everyone around started copying this. Two people sharing one, or even three or four people sharing one, splitting the cost equally.
Those who couldn't even afford a split share could only inhale second-hand smoke...
Suddenly, someone had a realization and said:
"Does everyone notice something?"
The crowd looked at him, confused.
He continued:
"Smoking alone is boring and expensive. Smoking together as a group brings joy and splits the cost. What does this represent?"
The crowd shook their heads.
The man smiled and shouted:
"Liqun!" (Note: "Interest of the Crowd" / Benefit the Group. Also a real cigarette brand).
The crowd didn't understand.
He explained:
"Listen to me. When you smoke alone, it's only for your own benefit (Li Ji). But like this, when we unite to smoke one cigarette, it's for the benefit of the group! It's called Li Qun (Benefit Crowd)! Why don't we call this cigarette 'Liqun'?"
Hearing this, everyone's eyes lit up.
"Well said! Let's call it Liqun!"
"Liqun! The interest of the group!"
"Liqun! Liqun! Liqun!"
Soon, excited shouts filled the area.
Kakuzu, cigarette in mouth, counting his money, looked at the crowd and muttered:
"Are they sick? Bunch of sand sculptures..." (Note: "Idiots).
Suddenly, an old man with neatly groomed hair and beard emerged from the crowd.
This was the First Tsuchikage, Ishikawa!
His face looked terrible. He heard someone was selling Konoha goods here. Ever since the last meeting, Ishikawa hated Konoha, especially Uzumaki Mizuna and Tobirama Senju.
He looked around with authority.
"What are you gathering here for? Don't you have things to do? Is your work finished?"
His stern questioning silenced the crowd instantly.
The Tsuchikage walked up to Kakuzu.
Kakuzu, holding money and smoking, glanced at Ishikawa from the corner of his eye.
"Kid! You..."
Before the Tsuchikage could finish, Kakuzu interrupted.
"You want to buy cigarettes?"
The Tsuchikage froze.
"I..."
Kakuzu clearly didn't intend to let him speak.
"I have half a pack left! Take it all for 160 Ryo!"
The Tsuchikage was confused.
Seeing the Tsuchikage didn't pay, Kakuzu reached into the old man's pocket himself and pulled out 1,000 Ryo.
Kakuzu looked at the money, shoved it into his own pocket, and showed no intention of giving change.
"Keep the change. Take the cigarettes," Kakuzu said while counting money.
The Tsuchikage reacted.
"Kid! This old man never said he wanted to buy your crappy cigarettes! Give me back my money!"
Seeing the old man so angry, Kakuzu advised:
"Uncle! Seeing how angry you are, you must have a lot weighing on your mind, right? Try my cigarette. The kick is strong! It can suppress the things in your heart!" (Note: "Liqun" slogan/meme: "Liqun suppresses the things in your heart").
Seeing the Tsuchikage's face turning red, Kakuzu added:
"Uncle, try one first. If it's not good, I'll refund you!"
Kakuzu thought:
If you think it's bad, I'll just run away. Refund? Refund my ass! I won't even give you an egg back!
Hearing this, the Tsuchikage decided to try one. He wanted to see what magic this cigarette held.
He took one out, lit it with a match, and took a deep drag.
Inhale...
The Tsuchikage's eyes widened. The kick was incredibly strong. He felt all his recent troubles being suppressed. He had never felt so peaceful, so refreshed.
So Strong! Dominating! Refreshing! (Note: Shampoo commercial meme).
"Hahaha! Good smoke! Good smoke!"
He looked at Kakuzu and asked with a smile:
"Kid, what is this cigarette called?"
Kakuzu was confused.
Does this old man have a split personality? Why the two faces?
Seeing Kakuzu didn't answer, the Tsuchikage was about to ask again when a voice came from behind.
"Report to Lord Tsuchikage! It's called Liqun!"
The Tsuchikage turned to the ninja who spoke.
"Why?"
The ninja replied immediately:
"Because everyone can smoke it together, bringing happiness to those around us!"
Hearing this, the Tsuchikage looked at the energetic young ninjas united before him and laughed.
"Liqun... Liqun is good! Hahahaha!"
The Tsuchikage laughed loudly, seemingly happy about the unity of the Stone Village ninjas.
Kakuzu watched this abstract scene from the back, his face filled with silence.
Kakuzu thought:
"Are these guys crazy?"
......