Chapter 43: Quick Mornings and Surprise RhinocerosesNotes:Sup guys! Also I've had this question a few times, but this does have an update schedule. So every Sunday...or more realistically in the wee hours between Saturday and Sunday cause that's apparently when I update every week now...I'm a night owl. It happens.
Chapter TextPietro yawned, rolling towards the warm lump next to him in bed. "Why are you awake?"
"Curiosity." Darcy replied. "Also coffee." She flicked his nose before climbing out of bed and pulling on clothing.
He groaned, letting his head thump onto his pillow. "It's five. We don't have to be anywhere for hours."
"Well if you want Peter and May to realize you slept in here instead of in Daisy's room, feel free to have a lie in." Darcy pulled on a shirt as she snarked.
Pietro considered that, nope. He moved as quickly as possible not slowing till he skidded to a halt full dressed next to the door. "Well, we wouldn't want that."
"You're a dirty rotten cheater." Darcy grumbled.
He brushed his hair out of his face. "But a cheater who can make coffee."
"And this is why I keep you around." She snapped the leg of a pair of sweatpants at him.
He sniggered as he easily dodged by zipping straight in front of her. He reached out cupping her cheek, his thumb carefully touching where her black eye began. "Do you need more ice for this?"
"No, but thank you." Darcy raised a brow. "However, I seem to remember an offer of coffee."
Pietro huffed in amusement, taking a step back. "Only if you make breakfast."
"Make food while drinking coffee and some eye candy wanders around? I think I can do that." Darcy smiled, it was slightly teasing but there was a genuine softness to her like this that filled his chest with something warm.
He gave a light nod, and then vanished from the room, his feet lightly carrying him faster than an eye could see as more than a vague blur. Coffee, he could do coffee.
Pietro enjoyed the quiet of the house. There was a stillness in the hours when people slept. The only sound was the soft sizzle as Darcy puttered around the oven, cooking pancakes for the house. He held his mug of coffee in one hand, hip leaning against the counter. "Not that I didn't appreciate it, but why wasn't I sleeping on the air mattress?"
"You're asking me now?" Darcy's face was amused as she turned, spatula in hand, eyes bright with amusement.
He didn't bother to hide that he felt rather smug after last night. "Well, things were looking good for me, so why question?"
"Valid." Darcy nodded solemnly. "But thank you for yesterday, for realsies. I needed this." She gestured at the home around them. "Apparently I'm mortal and capable of being ruffled."
Pietro decided to sip his coffee and not possibly say something wrong. Safe topics for them were mocking other people, not feelings.
Darcy turned back to the pancakes, and a sort of familiar quietness settled over them again. It was...different. But good. Very quiet though...actually why was it so quiet?
"Darcy, why isn't the news on? You always watch the news in the morning." His brow furrowed as he appreciated that she didn't even have music on.
She huffed slightly. "I can go more than fifteen minutes without my phone or a wrench. It is possible." Darcy whacked his knuckles with the spatula before he could snag one of pieces of bacon. Which was impressive, he hadn't been moving at human speeds. "Nuh uh."
"Please, I made the coffee." A slight whine in his voice.
Darcy arched a brow. "No. However you can run down to the store and get some berries to go on everything."
"As you command." With a mocking salute he walked backwards towards the door. "And I noticed you changing the subject about the news. I'm just too much of a gentleman to further ask."
Before he could run Darcy laughed. "Gentleman my ass."
"Well it is a very nice ass." Pietro took off at a run before he could get whacked with a dish towel. A wide smile across his face as the wind rushed past his face. It was going to be a good day.
////
Wanda tied on her apron strings and closed her eyes. She would not give her customers waking nightmares of hell. She would not use her powers on civilians no matter how horrible. Breathing out she opened her eyes and clocked in. It was going to be a good day. She walked out into the shop.
"Hey! What are you doing here? I thought you had finals for Jan term today?" Amanda greeted, genuineness tangibly wafting off of her.
Wanda accepted in that moment that this civilian girl, with fashion magazines in her purse, was going to become her friend one way or the other. And...she didn't mind at all. It was actually nice, feeling normal. "Finals are tomorrow, I was planning on studying for them today but Marg called and said you were short staffed today."
"You're an angel." Amanda grabbed and then squeezed her hand. "I'd have gone spare running this place over rush by myself.
Which….Wanda could feel the actual gratitude the actual fondness Amanda felt for her. It was nice. She desperately wanted to tell Daisy about how she was being befriended by a civilian, that the disguise was working perfectly, that she was getting straight A's in all her classes, that the University had let her test out of English 101 and out of her required math units. There was just so much. And Peter, god Peter was a wreck who needed his sister. All of them needed her back and it felt so hideously selfish of her to want her back when Daisy's own family was right there. Especially with May showing her so much kindness.
"Oh woah are you ok?" Amanda flapped her hands, and then dove into her purse pulling out a kleenex.
Wanda realized she was crying, and Amanda was just so nice! She promptly started sobbing.
Wanda sheepishly sipped at her gingerbread monstrosity, it was disgusting and exactly something Daisy would have liked, as they enjoyed a few minutes without customers. The rush had been good to prevent questions about her breakdown in the breakroom. "Thanks, for the kleenex."
"Yeah no problem, happens to all of us." Amanda set a cookie on a plate in front of her. "Want to talk about it?"
She opened her mouth and just….well she couldn't talk to anyone else but Pietro about it without feeling grossly selfish. "My girlfriend...she…" fuck, how to even beging to explain kidnapped by aliens and portaled to a future apocolypse?
"Oh honey, you two break up?" Amanda rubbed her back, her face full of sympathy.
"No, it's just she works for the government." And what had Daisy told Wanda about lying? Keep it as close to the truth as possible? "The army, but her team hasn't been in contact with anyone for over a month now and I can't…"
Amanda's eyes widened, and then she was hugging her. "Why didn't you say anything? That's terrible!"
"It doesn't feel appropriate. Her family has been so lovely. They've been insisting I stay in their home and come to dinner. And you'll probably meet her brother sometime. He just turned fifteen. They're her family and it feels wrong to let them try and comfort me." Wanda couldn't help the sniffle, god she felt pathetic. "Their parents died years ago so it's just the three kids and their aunt living together. They hunted down their bio-dad this year and were building relationships with him for the first time in their lives and I'm just the girlfriend."
Amanda hummed, squeezing her tighter. "You're not just anything. If they're pulling you in like that, then you and your girl must be a whole lot of something. Have you thought maybe they need you as much as you need them?"
She pressed her hand to her chest, where it felt like it would cave in sometimes. The thing is she knew how terrified the Parkers were of her or Pietro disappearing on them. That they genuinely loved them. "I don't want to burden them with my fear when they have their own."
"Does the army think your girl's team is...coming home?" Amanda asked as gently as possible.
Wanda nodded. "Her team, they have a reputation for dropping off the face of the earth for months at a time only to pop back up, mission done. It's their thing."
"So what you're saying is your girlfriend is a badass?" Amanda's lips twitched up slightly.
She chuckled, her throat wet and ever so slightly raspy from tears. "Yeah, adrenaline junkie too. She's into all those extreme sports, skydiving, cliff climbing, extreme paintballing. It exists and is horribly dangerous and she probably does it."
"Sounds like quite the firecracker." Amanda's lightly brushing feelings were empathetic. It was clear she thought Daisy was likely dead but wouldn't say anything.
Wanda pulled away from the hug, pulling the kleenex out of her apron and wiping at her eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to cry all over you."
"Nothing to be sorry for." Amanda nudged her lightly. "Eat the cookie, you look like you need it."
She rolled her eyes, but broke off a bite and ate it. "Can we talk about something else? If we keep talking about Daisy I'm going to cry again and we could get a customer."
"Sure." Amanda's feelings crackled as she switched topics in her head. "Did you see the photos from Spiderman rescuing Darcy Stark yesterday?" Her tone was disgusted.
Wanda blinked as she processed that. No she didn't understand that. "What's wrong with that?"
Amanda whipped out her phone and pulled up the photos, she must have had them already open on the thing. She was bristling with indignation. "Look at that! They're all over each other!"
"Uh…" Wanda looked at the photos, and sure she could see how clearly Darcy and Peter in the suit were hugging could be seen as vaguely intimate but… "They're friends? She makes their suits?"
Amanda's eyes narrowed. "It's not just that." She scrolled further to photos from the Ninja Warrior night. There were pictures of her, Darcy, and Peter standing on the sidelines cheering Daisy on. And yes, Darcy did have a hand on Peter's shoulder...a hand that someone in the photo had circled in bright red. "They've been touchy before. And then suddenly Quake's gone and they're all over each other like that?"
Wanda's brain had rather stalled. One how was Amanda staring at a photo that included her, admittedly in a red jacket and with her hair down, but still very much her and not realizing her coworker was Scarlet Witch...her coworker who's name was Wanda, had a Sokovian accent, and just had her hair up and a fake tattoo. It was...how? Also two, dear lord the media looked like it was about to start up some sort of demented love triangle story involving Daisy, Peter, and Darcy. And with no Daisy there to prove rumors wrong...well Wanda could see how that could get out of hand.
"Of course a Stark would be a homewrecker." Amanda was actually offended by the whole thing. Truely, deeply offended.
Well...it was less of a distraction from Daisy than Wanda had hoped for. But well...it was certainly something. And Amanda was politely ignoring how thick her voice was. "They could just be friends? I'd imagine being kidnapped would stir some strong feelings? And they're just hugging?"
"I don't know about you but I don't hug my guy friends like that." Amanda countered and then opened up a tap from a gossip sight. "Look at this, they're saying Spiderman and Darcy have been seen swinging around a few times with no rescue involved. It's looking like they were cheating, and Quake's just gone and everyone knows the only reason she was in New York was because of Spiderman."
"Huh." Wanda couldn't actually think of anything to say to that.
Amanda's shoulders dropped. "Sorry, I went straight to celebrity relationship drama, that probably isn't helpful. It just makes me so angry. I mean Spiderquake was relationship goals, and then Spiderman turns out to just be a dumb guy."
"I mean we don't know for sure that's what's happened." Wanda finally managed to offer.
Amanda sighed. "We can hope, but I doubt it." She turned her phone off, sliding it back into her apron. "It just gave me hope, you know? Like if someone with as fucked up a past as Quake can settle with an awesome guy and they can be that perfect maybe there's hope for the rest of us ya know?"
"Not really?" Wanda couldn't quite parse out what Amanda was feeling it was so jumbled. At least not without physical contact and possibly actively touching her with her abilities. So effectively she couldn't understand her. "But I am sorry their relationship isn't what you thought it was."
Amanda sighed. "I hope Quake at least keeps being a hero ya know? And doesn't just go back to SHIELD full time or something depressing like that."
"Me too." Wanda agreed, she'd hunt her girlfriend down and talk some sense into her if she tried to stay with SHIELD full time. She'd already burned out in the organization once already. And oddly...she did feel better.
Wanda dialed Darcy's number. "Darcy, are you aware the world thinks you're the other woman in Spiderman and Quake's relationship?"
////
Peter slapped his hands down on the cement block and swung his legs forward into a hard kick, sending the guy with a gun flying into the wall. He landed on his feet and turned to the woman clinging to her purse. "To the rescue! Are you alright?"
"Spiderman!" The woman exclaimed.
He webbed the crook to the wall he was slumped against and patted the woman's shoulder. "You need some help calling anyone?"
Peter paused as he landed on the side of a building and switched his comms back on. "Yuri, that's my third armed individual in three square blocks. What's happening?"
-"Everyone's trying to elbow in on the Magia territory now that we've crippled them. It's only going to get worse."- Yuri replied, her tone made it plain she was getting less sleep than he was.
He sighed noting the blinking light in the corner of his mask. Another police incident within distance of him. "Well Spidercop is on the job." His voice was as upbeat as he could make it.
-"Right, can you head for my position? I'm heading in to a call where the responding officer hasn't been replying."-
Peter pulled up the map and blinked. "That's in the middle of the old Maggie territory. I'm on my way." He kicked off and swung as fast as he could.
The wind whipped by as he flung himself over buildings and through alleys. KAREN highlighted Yuri's car up ahead. The AI had been really useful without Daisy there.
He arched through the air, and then flew feet first through the open passenger window of Yuri's car. "What's the situation Boss?"
"God help me never join the force." Yuri looked physically pained at the thought. "But officers Davis and Lippincott went to investigate a tip of Magia weapons being moved out of the neighborhood. They haven't checked in for fifteen minutes and haven't answered any hails on the radio."
Peter bit his lip under his mask. He knew that was bad, really really bad. "KAREN, alert whoever is available I might need backup." He adjusted his web shooter. "I'll do a loop of the block."
"I want to say you're being paranoid but it's probably smart." She hit the gas. "Kid, if this goes south you get out. Do you understand me?"
His eyes narrowed. He liked Yuri and Davis, they were friends. Like hell he would leave them if it went bad. "If it goes wrong we just have to hold out till one of the Avengers can get there. And KAREN will call them in."
"Kid this isn't an argument, I'm not having a dead teenager on my conscience. The mafia doesn't play by the same rules as normal crooks." Yuri's knuckles whitened as she made the corner. "And the robot still freaks me out."
Peter tossed his fingers. "Fine, and she's an AI not a robot."
"Whatever, stay sharp kid." Yuri warned as they gunned it down the block.
He paused before jumping out the window. "I'm so sharp I'm lit."
Yuri groaned. "That doesn't even make sense!"
Peter landed on the sidewalk next to Yuri. He kept his voice soft. "Block seems quiet, I don't see a trap." He eyed the abandoned for renovations office building. "But KAREN picked up eight heat signatures and something really big, maybe a generator or something that's putting off a lot of heat."
"Ok." Yuri's eyes narrowed. "Go through the window up top, if you find either officer get them out."
He nodded, he could do that. "What about you?"
"I'm going in the front door. If you hear shooting feel free to swoop in." She adjusted her bullet proof vest. "Let's hope this goes according to plan."
Peter shot a web up to the roof. But strained keeping himself from being pulled up. "That'd be Spiderific if it went to plan." He snickered as he went shooting up, Yuri's exasperated groan was music to his ears.
Falling silent he slipped through the window and crawled along the ceiling looking for any sign of people.
He dropped to the ground as he reached the elevator shift. His mask switched to heat sign view. Looked like everyone was grouped together. He carefully hit his comm. "Second floor atrium. I think their moving whatever is putting off all the heat."
-"Rodger."- Yuri replied, her voice barely audible.
Peter could see the signature that had to be her moving towards the stairs. He slung himself into the elevator shaft. It was easy enough to get to the second floor. Peeking out he looked at the heat signature in the hall. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Yuri, I've got Davis."
He hopped up next to the officer, ducking the man's instinctive elbow towards the face. "Just me, your friendly neighborhood Spiderman!" His voice squeaked slightly.
Davis half slumped. "Jesus kid." He glanced to ensure they were still alone. "Something is blocking our radio signal. Lippincott was coming up the backstairs, is he ok?"
"Yuri'll find him then." Peter eyed the hallway. "What's the sitch?"
Davis breathed in a low gust of air. "Some sort of weapons deal. They moved in from the street, we followed, were waiting for back up when I realized no radio replies."
"Right, well my comms are working. So you've got me and Detective Yuri. And the Avengers are on speed dial."
The man nodded, relief painted across his face. "Good, that's good."
Peter twitched, his spidersense was prickling at the back of his neck. "Notice anything else?"
"Guy in charge's name is Aleksie I think?" Davis's voice was painfully quiet.
That was...that was bad. That was the name of the guy the Maggia had been trying to hire. It'd been in the files. The Russian enhanced that had been dragging out negotiations. Peter swallowed, the file hadn't been clear on how the man was enhanced. Just that he was. Which...right KAREN would be alerting someone. They just had to survive like maybe ten minutes. He could do this. Daisy had trained him.
Peter settled with purpose. "Stay behind me, and be ready to flee."
"Yeah, that's not happening." Davis squared his shoulders, and then forged ahead.
He blinked, huh, knew he liked the man for a reason. Just would be useful if they weren't walking into what was setting off his spidersense like crazy. "Hey wait! Don't go in without me!"
Peter hopped around the corner and immediately webbed a goon's mouthshut on instinct. "Bad Cop. Don't leave your Spidercop behind. It's a no-no."
"Come on, before Yuri kills you." Davis gave a tight smile as he snapped handcuffs on the goon who was...not struggling at all?
The ground shook. Peter looked towards the heat signatures….the giant signature he'd thought was a generator or something was moving. It was...oh that was person shaped… And it was headed straight for where Yuri had just stepped out of cover.
Peter flung himself forward. He spun as he shot through the door and over the giant of a man's shoulder. His arms reached out webbing two goons as he zipped across the room. Then he was landing in a three point crouch in front of Yuri. "Holy Hot Tamales."
Because what he'd vaguely noticed was a giant of a man as he flew past him was not just a big guy. He had to be seven foot at least, and he looked like the HULK's meaner little brother only was that...yup he had a very sharp, shockingly not ridiculous looking horn on his head. Actual...horn, the grey suit, general massive shit. Rhino. He was a massive Rhino. Peter swallowed. "I didn't know the zoo was in town."
"Ah, I have heard much about you tiny spider. I look forward to squashing you like a bug." A very thick, deep, thickly accented, Russian voice game out like gravel from...the rhino.
Peter couldn't help it. "Spiders are arachnids. Did you get dropped on your head as a child? I hear there's things they can do for that these days."
Chapter 44: How to Create a Media Shitshow 101Notes:Guys I'm drafting the last chapter and a half of this fic this weekend. Holy shit it's been a ride. And yes apparently I update on Saturdays now.....not sure how that happened. Oh well.
Chapter TextYuri wanted to strangle Spiderman as she heard the sass come out of his mouth. Angering the giant behemoth cosplaying as a goddamn rhino was a terrible idea. Aleksie, and this had to be him, was a behemoth of a man. A wall of muscles. No one looked like that naturally. She watched Game of Thrones, and even the Mountain would be dwarfed by the monster standing before them.
There was a moment when everyone in the room stared at Spiderman in horrified disbelief. Because really, who says that to the face of a clearly enhanced Russian enforcer? Who!? Spiderman apparently. And then Aleksie or Rhino or whatever the fuck was his name, swung for Spiderman's face.
Yuri dived out of the way, drywall and splintered supports raining down on her as she hit the ground. Rolling to one side she brought up her gun and fired at the behemoth.
The various low level foot soldiers of the Magia started shooting, there was a blur of red and blue, webs going everywhere, crashing as walls and the roof shattered at the vicious attacks of the fucking Rhino. He was just Rhino in her head now.
She scrambled to her feet, stumbled the two yards forward, ducked a flying elbow of Rhino's, punched a goon in the face, and grabbed Officer Lippincott by the back of his bullet proof vest and hauled. "MOVE!"
The rookie scrambled backwards, raising his gun and shooting wildly into the room.
Yuri hauled him into the hall. Slamming him into the wall she slapped his face. "GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!"
"Ma'am!" His wide, slightly wild looking eyes focused on her.
She cringed as bullets hit the drywall a yard to their left. They needed to get out, this building wasn't going to stay up with the enhanced brawl going on. And based off the obnoxious quips about lack of good parental role models, it was just going to get more violent. Spiderman seriously needed a lesson in de-escalation. "Get to your car, and radio in everyone!"
"Car, radio, everyone. Got it." He nodded too quickly, his fingers twitching in panic.
Yuri released him and reloaded her gun. "Go, I'll cover you!" Fucking hell, their best hope was the teenager with a christmas sweater on over his bullet proof pajamas. WHO WAS STILL INSULTING THE GIANT MAN IN A RHINO SUIT!
She threw her arms up as the office next to her exploded as Rhino and Spiderman went crashing into it. Spiderman ricocheting off walls, the floor, the ceiling, various pieces of furniture and even Rhino himself to avoid the clobbering punches. Yuri swung around shooting the Magia goon that'd just come stumbling into the hallway. Right, Spiderman could survive that till backup got there. Hopefully. She had some more regular thugs to either arrest or prevent from shooting the fleeing Lippincott and hopefully safe Davis.
Yuri moved forward with purpose. Gun first she swung back into the destroyed room. Her eyes flicked across the room. The room and it...was still a room by the barest definitions of such. There were crumbled bodies on the ground, and several groaning idiots webbed to various pieces of debri. It had probably been walls originally. She couched, covering her mouth from the dust. "DAVIS?"
"Here!" Davis's head popped up over the rubble that had once been the wall between the room and hall on the other side of the room.
She coughed. "Can you get out from that side?"
"Yeah, I can get out." Davis slapped his hat to the side, dust billowing off of it. "Spiderman ok over there?"
Yuri cringed at the booming noises as the fight moved further away. "He was still swinging and mouthing off. Lippincott is out. Get out, radio for more back up and the Avengers, Quake, I don't care get another Enhanced down here to help the kid."
"Yes ma'am. Go, shoot for the eyes I guess?" He offered before turning and disappeared into the other side of the building.
She reloaded her gun. Shoot for the eyes...fuck. Well it couldn't go worse than her bullets bouncing off the man a few minutes ago.
////
Peter hurt. Everything hurt, was this what Daisy felt like when her bones cracked from using her powers? Cause if it was he hadn't been freaked out enough by that information. He grunted as he pulled himself out the brick side of the building he'd been chucked into. His chest heaved as he panted. "So, thoughts on quietly surrendering? I hear it helps at sentencing."
"HOLD STILL THAT I MAY CRUSH YOU!" Aleksie, rhinoceros cosplayer and mob enforcer screamed in frustration as he stomped towards him.
He shot a web across and lept, pulling himself up and over the man's head and landing on his back. He shot webs at the man's hands trying to restrain him, again. "Has anyone told you this isn't how to make friends?"
"JUST DIE!" Aleksie slapped at him, just managing to whack himself as Peter ducked and then wheeved while hanging onto his back.
Peter shot another dendrotoxin web into the man's face. "I don't think I will. Seems a bit silly to let you catch me like that." There was a resounding smack as Aleksie hit himself in the face instead of Peter. He webbed the hand to the man's head. At least it would hurt to snap those webs. "Have you considered not hitting yourself?"
Aleksie made a sound that could only be described as a roar getting caught up in a blender as he ripped his hands off of his face, the web snapping from the strain. "I will enjoy killing you." He panted.
His spidersense went wild. Peter moved, he still went rolling from the force as he was dislodged and sent rolling down the road. His mouth tasted like blood as he looked up. He pushed up and then yelped as his weight landed on his foot. Oh that was very, very broken. This was bad, really bad. He sprayed his foot with webbing to give himself more support. Testing it he grit his teeth. Doable, it was going to hurt.
Squinting he looked at where Aleksie was snapping more webbing off of himself. He didn't look good either. His grey suit was ripped in places, his veins standing out blue as he moved with a drunk like quality. The dendrotoxin might not have knocked him unconscious but was definitely affecting him.
Peter swallowed as he pushed himself back to his feet, gingerly keeping most of his weight off his broken foot. He could do this. So back-up wasn't here yet, that was fine. Aleksie was almost done. If he could just get one good hard hit in he'd go down. He nodded to himself. If he used those lampposts he could launch himself, if Aleksie was charging, and he slung himself he could get a hit in hard enough to knock him out.
So he was going to do this. "Hey Rhino! That your name? Or you just got a kink you're a bit too into? I mean no judgement. But wearing fetish gear in the streets, not cool man."
The comm in his ear crackled. -"GET OUT OF THE WAY SPIDERMAN!"- Yuri shouted.
Peter jumped, his feet going up faster as he somersaulted over a patrol car, gunning it straight for Rhino. His eyes widened in awe. Holy shit.
Yuri was in the driver's seat of a patrol car with a dented hood. She had to have the gas pedal shoved into the floor as it half flew down the road aimed straight for the wavering, punch drunk Rhino.
Just a matter of car lengths from Rhino she threw the door open and threw herself out of the car. Her arms up guarding her head as she prepared to hit the pavement.
Peter was moving before she'd even kicked herself out. His web caught her back as he launched himself forward. "YURI!"
The car collided into Rhino and exploded as it impacted. Fire and shrapnel flying as it roared.
There was a blueish blur, a hand grabbing the back of Peter's suit and yanking him backwards and away. The wind was knocked out of him, and then he was landing on the sidewalk on his butt.
He blinked. Turning to the side he spotted Yuri sitting on the sidewalk looking as confused as he felt. His head shifted up and his shoulders slumped as he spotted Pietro. "Cutting it a little close."
"I had an exam to finish." Pietro blew out a breath while staring at the still on fire form of the car wrapped around Rhino. "So, that's a bad guy right?"
Peter laughed while nodding. "Yeah, that was a bad guy." He looked over at Yuri. "You drove a car into him?"
"My bullets weren't working." She shrugged, though she had a certain air of ruffled post battle bafflement. Clearly she wasn't expecting to have survived the car stunt without a single scratch.
Pietro's brow rose as he looked at the soon to be smouldering...possible remains, possibly injured enhanced. It was like he hadn't quite realized what was the cause of the explosion he'd just saved them from getting singed by was. "That is impressive." He looked at Yuri. "Are you doing anything tonight?"
"Paperwork." Yuri replied without blinking. She let out a groan. "You know the department is never going to give me back up, move me to a normal shift, or stop treating me like the plague if I keep doing this shit."
Peter reached out and patted her on the back. "Aren't you getting some fancy award for the whole Magia thing?"
"And a promotion." Yuri did not sound excited. "Until I've clawed my way to Captain they're going to play hot potato over me."
Pietro cleared his throat. "Why? This doesn't make sense."
"She keeps turning and arresting coworkers for corruption and stuff." Peter explained, he'd read the file Daisy had found on their ally. "So we help her. She's good people."
Pietro nodded at that. "Ah, no one likes a snitch, even when it needs to be done."
"Yes well anyways...is that...man alive?" Yuri looked pointedly at the..wreckage.
Pietro and Peter shared a look. Pietro tilted his head. "Ironman will be here soon. He can contain whatever that thing is."
"He's a Russian mobster." Peter explained helpfully.
Yuri hissed as she poked at her nose that was bleeding sluggishly. "Hospital for us I think."
"Aunt May is going to kill me." Peter groaned as he looked at his foot. He felt like a walking bruise, there was no way he'd be out fighting crime for a week at least. Even his advanced healing and Daisy's bone steroids weren't going to change that.
Pietro patted him on top of the head. "I'm sure Stark will take care of both of you." He looked at Peter. "And who knows, you might get home before dinner."
Yuri seemed to realize something. "I'm about to get dragged even further into the superhero nonsense aren't I?"
"It's inevitable." Pietro informed her, he put on his most dashing grin. "I'd be happy to give you the tour."
Peter's nose scrunched up. "Wait, are you seriously flirting with her?"
"Of course? A beautiful woman willing to sully her reputation for justice is impressive." He winked at Yuri as he spoke.
Peter was filled with a sharp rage. Oh he was going to kill him. How dare he! While he was doing whatever it was he was doing with Darcy. That was his sister! He lunged, fully intent to introduce Pietro's face to his fist.
////
Darcy stared at the three individuals in the medical room sitting on separate gurneys. She then looked at Tony. "What sort of unicorn, magical horse shit happened?"
"I'm still rough on the sheer stupidity. It doesn't come naturally to me." Tony crossed his arms.
Pietro looked as baffled as she felt as he sat there with a black eye. "I do not know what went wrong. I got the alert that Spiderman required assistance while I was taking an exam. As soon as I finished I ran as quickly as I could. I grabbed him and the detective from the explosion from her driving her car into a guy who looked like a rhino? Then we talked and then he tried to strangle me." He jerked a thumb towards Peter.
Darcy swung her attention to Peter. She noticed the cop was trying to sink into her gurney like her ice pack and stitches would make her invisible. On the other hand Peter's body language was all mullish and stubborn as he refused to take his mask off. Doctor Cho was splinting his foot. "Kid?"
"He flirted with Yuri." Peter shot what was probably a vicious glare under the mask at Pietro.
She shared a confused look with Tony. Her eyes flicked to the detective and then Pietro before returning to Peter. "And?"
Peter spluttered, and then he was ripping his mask off. His eyes wide as he stared at her, face painted with indignation and upset. "I know the two of you are together! You're not that sneaky!"
"What!?" Tony squawked!
Darcy pinched the bridge of her nose. "You're a big dumb dumb."
"We live in the same house!" Peter's eyes narrowed.
Pietro made a sound that probably would have been laughter if he hadn't swallowed it. Good plan, she'd have had to kill him if he laughed at her brother deciding to protect her honor. It was kind of adorable actually.
"This whole thing is because you think Pietro and I are dating?" Darcy ignored Tony's puffed up squawking.
Peter crossed his arms over his chest. "I had to put noise cancelling headphones on two nights ago."
"You're fifteen, do I need to explain friends with benefits?" Darcy gave him her best 'really' look. Cause she'd do it, and she'd make it the most awkward moment of his life.
Peter's face scrunched in consideration. "But you two are always around each other."
"Eh, tower, he's not bad company, and our sisters are a disgusting Disney couple. It's for survival." Darcy snickered, but stepped forward and landed a large smacking kiss on his cheek. "Thank you for defending my honor, but I've got a taser and can do my own defending."
The cop, Yuri now that Darcy was looking at the woman properly, cleared her throat. "Do you guys have a mind wipe thing? Or do I just have to live with this new knowledge I don't want?"
"I'm afraid there's no going back." Darcy held out her hand. "Good to meet you. Well, sorta? I've been on the comms so we've kinda already met."
Yuri just looked pained. "This is my life now."
"I'm confused and I don't like the sensation." Tony pointed at Pietro, his eyes narrowed. "I can take out the trash."
Darcy waved off her dad. "Naw he's chill Poprocks. Friend not food."
"God help me there's two of them." Yuri dropped her face into her hands.
Peter reached out and patted her back...it did not seem to help.
Darcy softened, Thor she'd been spending too much time in the lab. "Come on, let's get you home after Doctor hotpants-"
"Excuse me?" Doctor Cho jolted.
"We can even smuggle Poprocks with us." She continued as if she hadn't been interrupted.
Tony nodded. "That sounds like an idea Spawn." He shot a last glare at Pietro who was positively smug under the disapproval. "Also my media peons have been complaining, something about you not traumatizing them? Do something so I don't have to dazzle them with my thoughts."
"Were there cameras when you punched Pietro in the face?" Darcy asked, suddenly feeling terrified.
Peter tilted his head. "Probably?"
"You owe me." Darcy face palmed. "Circus time is coming."
Pietro pulled the ice pack away from his face. "Circus?"
"You're lucky you're pretty." Darcy considered the likely future media storm. Fuck.
////
Amanda Sefton, barista, future air hostess, and current college student thrust a magazine into her coworker and friend's face. "I TOLD YOU!"
"Oh that's...oh dear." Wanda blinked as she took in the horror that was the cover news story.
She nodded enthusiastically. "I told you! Look at that! That...bitch!"
"That seems a bit harsh." Wanda offered weakly.
Amanda scoffed. "Stealing Spiderman away from Quake, and now playing Quicksilver and Spiderman against each other! It's horrible! How dare she! You can't just play with people like that!"
"It could just be a misunderstanding?" Wanda offered, it was weak and her friend clearly knew that.
She stared at her friend with obvious disbelief. "Really? No, this bitch Darcy Stark is fucking over the heros of New York!"
"Shouldn't we support another woman in a position of power?" Wanda offered. "I mean it could be a bit more complicated than we know."
She scoffed while pulling her apron on with extreme prejudice. "Please, superheros don't punch other superheros. I mean have you ever seen Captain America and Tony Stark punch each other?"
Wanda opened and shut her mouth clearly unable to come up with a rebuttal.
"Besides, we should have known she'd be as scummy as the other Starks. Howard and Tony fucked everything that moved. Of course Darcy would too."
"But you like Tony Stark?" Wanda asked with a slight frown.
Amanda waved off the doubt. "He stopped being a slut after he became a hero. So now we have to wait for some stupid disaster in like twenty years for Darcy to get her head out of her ass and in the meantime it's going to be bullshit."
"That is...that is one way to think about it." Wanda pulled on the branded baseball cap of their coffee shop.
Amanda paused, Wanda was awkward about the topic. Shit. She was talking about relationships around her friend whose girlfriend was probably dead. God damn it. Way to go Amanda, let's just pour salt in that emotional wound. She gently nudged Wanda. "Sorry, I know you're not as interested in celebrity gossip."
"It's fine?" Wanda was looking at her strangely, clearly her thoughts elsewhere.
She cleared her throat. "How were your exams?"
"Top of my class." Wanda had a small pleased smile.
Amanda beamed. "That's amazing! I don't know how you do it. I'm just glad to get B's."
"Well I need the grades to get into the law program." Wanda shrugged. "A degree in Social Justice and Civil Rights Law doesn't just happen."
Amanda nodded. "True, you're going places girl. Promise not to forget me when you're rich and famous changing the world."
"I don't think I could forget you if I wanted to." Wanda smiled, her eyes a light with humor. "And I don't want to."
She beamed. "I'm the manic pixie dream girl to your social justice warrior punk ass."
"I...you do know English is not my first language yes?" Wanda stared at her like she wished she didn't understand.
Amanda laughed. "And yet you understood every word. Now let's go face the Karens in need of their caffeine fix."
"I wish I could strangle one customer a day." Wanda said under her breath.
She gave a solome nod. "Preach."
Chapter 45: The Peter Parker InterventionNotes:Guys I've finished drafting this. There is only editing left and having a beta (all praise ur2close) that takes like half the time it usually does. I feel so weird and am just writing random oneshots now. Also the change in chapter count is cause while chapter 54 was fine it just killed the pacing so it needed to die. Don't worry, it reads better now.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter TextBucky felt a cold shiver as he spotted Darcy eating Captain Crunch cereal straight from the box while eyeing the glowing blue...thing she had been working on all evening. It was a defcon 8 event for Darcy Lewis to eat Captain Crunch out of the box. The last time it'd happened in his presence she'd crushed a glowing blue thing with a sledgehammer, causing a small explosion that had needed three fire extinguishers. He was ready. Hopefully.
He set aside his scribe work. Sorting through and rewriting Dr Foster's notes and then filing them could wait, inevitable explosion could not. Bucky looked at the camera. "FRIDAY, send for Captain Rogers."
-"I have alerted the Captain."-
Nodding, he got up and made his way to the oddest of the Starks. He braced himself for the inevitable. "Darcy, would you assist me with my hair? And with understanding the news? I'm unsure if I should be concerned by it or not. Also Steve is planning on boiling food for dinner again. I require your assistance." He then did the thing with his eyes that had always made Steve fold.
Darcy's mouth opened as she stared at him. "Oh wow." Her lips pulled into a smirk. "Puppy eyes or no puppy eyes I know when I'm being played hot stuff."
"I don't know what you're talking about." He replied, he would not be broken by a pretty dame staring at him like she could see straight through him. He wouldn't.
She sighed and looked around her chaotic work space. "I suppose I am going full mad scientist here. Fine, I'll allow it." Stretching like a cat she yawned. "I expect a foot rub, and stop twitching I'll leave your hair alone Hoboman."
Bucky would have let out a relieved breath if he was a different man. As it was his muscles unclenched in relief. "Ok?"
"Excellent! Oh and popcorn! If we're watching the news and explaining it then we're snacking like pros."
Bucky just nodded, he knew where all the snacks in the tower were. His monitoring anklet didn't restrict him from snack areas. "I can secure snacks."
"I'm glad I'm saving your butt. I mean spectacular butt aside, you're a good dude." She patted his arm. "Come on soldier. Let's get our snack on. Ooo! And coffee!"
He felt the oddest sensation at being called 'soldier'. It was...oddly nostalgic how she said it. He politely fell into step with her towards the elevator. "I can do coffee."
"You already summon your life partner?" She looked at him clearly expecting a yes.
Bucky felt like stumbling. "Who?"
"Captain Dorito." She made a clucking sound with her tongue.
He knew that one, he'd seen the dorito memes last time he'd been trapped with Darcy for longer than ten minutes outside of the lab. "Yes, I requested his presence."
"Coolio." She hooked their arms together like there was nothing terrifying about touching him. It was...nice.
Bucky had found he really liked kettle corn. He had a whole bag of it, his cat Primrose curled around his shoulders like a fluffy scarf. Steve was working his way through a bag of chocolate covered nuts while Bob purred away on his lap. Meanwhile Darcy was buried in throw pillows and munching on popcorn. It almost made the content of the news tolerable. The latest evidence from the trial had hit the news cycle and it was disturbing to see the security footage of him strapped to the chair. He shivered everytime the footage came on screen.
"This is macabre." Steve grumbled from his seat, he was quietly bristling in disgust at the dirty details being plastered out as entertainment to the people.
Darcy blew out a noisy breath. "At least they're sympathetic to our favorite murder assassin. I'm the great slut. The whore who broke up Spiderquake. Totes a contender for most hated person in New York. And Tony lives here."
Steve gave a sympathetic looked towards Darcy. "Is there a way to fix that?"
"Not without Daisy getting her ass back here." Darcy grumbled. "I'm half tempted to use the new time travel tech early to go get her just to fix everything. Christ and Peter needs her. He's a walking bruise after Rhino."
Bucky cleared his throat. "Was the horn on that guy a suit or actually part of him?"
Darcy blinked. "You know I don't know. Actual cops did the arresting, nobody bothered to fight them on jurisdiction. Ya know, they cop car bitch slapped the dude and all."
"Tell Peter if he comes by the gym once he's better I'll help him with fighting against opponents with enhanced strength." Steve offered.
Bucky glanced at Darcy. "Is there really not a way to make the media like you again?"
"Not without Daisy." Darcy cocked her head. "I suppose if I came out as gay it'd prove I hadn't stollen away Spiderman and played with Quicksilver's heart as well. But I'm not the queer sibling and it'd be super gross to use an identity like that. Sides, Daisy'll be back one way or another by June. I just need to find something to do now that we cracked time travel."
Steve stared at her. "If Ultron hadn't of happened I could try not to learn about what you do in the labs."
Darcy smirked. "Well I've been thinking about some more attempts at dragging Thor. He should be back from whatever mission he was on. Going to drag him back by his cape."
"I can help with that part." Bucky offered. He mostly felt rather useless. He was either in court having to look sympathetic and not murderous. In the labs getting snacks, coffee, and filing paperwork, or in his room playing with the cats. It was a...odd life. He was fairly sure he'd have been baffled by it before the train.
Darcy held up a hand for a fist bump. "Thanks dude."
"Sure?" He carefully bumped her fist.
////
Peter opened the front door and stared at his friends. "Hey guys? Did we have a study night planned?"
"I brought root beer!" Ned held up the six pack of soda, a nervous quiver to his voice.
MJ rolled her eyes and brushed Peter out of the way just marching into the house. "We need to talk."
"Uh...about what?" Peter limped after MJ, his foot in a soft cast for another couple days. "Did I forget an assignment or something? Oh god do we need to pull an allnighter?"
Ned patted his shoulder while closing the door. "Not about school."
"Come on, we'll talk in your room." MJ promptly marched up the stairs like she'd been invited in.
Peter shared a baffled look with Ned. How had they ended up a trio with MJ again? Also since when was she their ring leader?
Ned shrugged though. "Come on, there's uh...stuff. Yeah we need to talk Pete."
"Pete?" Peter's brow furrowed? What the? This was weird. He limped along after them towards his room.
As he got to the room he frowned at MJ sitting in his computer chair while Ned had dropped down on the foot of the bed. Both of them were giving him the weirdest looks. "So uh...what's going on guys?"
"You need an intervention." MJ replied without a flicker of doubt. "We get you're upset with your sister's boyfriend cheating on her, and her going out of town for a while. But getting into fights? You're going to get really hurt."
Peter opened and then closed his mouth. "What?" His voice pitched up. "I'm not getting into fights cause I'm upset about Daisy breaking up with anyone." He crossed his arms to avoid scratching at the side of his head. Fidgeting betrayed nervousness. Nervousness implied guilt. Spy lesson ten. Don't fucking fidget.
Ned looked so painfully sympathetic. "We know Daisy's Quake, what happened with Stark and Spiderman. It's got to have been hard. But you need to deal with it and stop bottling it all up inside."
"And it's not just the fighting." MJ cut in. "You've been distant at school. Staring into space, spending less time studying. You're self-destructing. When was the last time you actually came to a study night with us?" She gave him an accusing stare.
Peter gaped actually...oh it'd been since before Daisy got kidnapped to the future hadn't it. So that was over two months ago now."... I'm sorry?"
"We're here for you. You're my best friend." Ned offered and oh wow he was worried enough he was getting mushy. Fuck.
He...these were his friends. And he hurt, just everywhere and he missed Daisy, he missed his friends, it was exhausting being Spiderman with so little back up. Sure Pietro helped but he was busy with firefighter stuff, and Wanda was drowning in school work and her job, and just everyone else was caught up in the trial. Darcy had been throwing herself into the science it was just… these were his friends. He didn't want to lie.
MJ raised a brow. "We'll help you fuck up Spiderman if that's what you need. I used to play fast pitch, still have the bat."
"Wait, what?" Peter was...he was alarmed and touched by that. "We don't need to beat up Spiderman."
Ned's face set into something stubborn. "Daisy's your sister, and she's kind of our friend too. It's not right he dumped her like that."
"I…" Peter was...he hated keeping them away from the rest of his life. Everyone else knew. And having to hear about Spiderquake was bad enough. But they were worried about him. "Look, it's not...I'm just..going through some stuff?"
MJ's stare that made it feel like she could see through him didn't change. "Really, that stuff involve your sister leaving for a while after her boyfriend cheated on her being publically just everywhere in the news right now?"
"It's...Spiderman isn't that bad. I'm not mad." Which was mostly true. He was just...frustrated and wanted his sister back. Also to never hear the words 'Spiderquake' again in his life. Peter shifted, leaning against his door frame.
Ned frowned. "He cheated on Daisy. He's the worst. We can start up a twitter page to make fun of him?"
"Or break his kneecaps." MJ muttered under her breath.
Ned didn't disagree with her. "We're just saying we're here for you and we can take care of it all for you."
"Guys!" Peter bit at his lower lip…. "Ok right, it's fine. Really." He moved forward and shut the door behind him. Aunt May or Darcy popping up would be the worst. Especially if Darcy chose now to stop by. He shifted awkwardly.
MJ crossed her arms. "It's not fine."
"It's…" Peter shuffled and he just….he could see the fight in their eyes. "I'm Spiderman!" Burst out of his mouth.
MJ's eyes widened, but there was something there. Her mouth opening ever so slightly.
Ned on the other hand snorted. "Don't be stupid." He laughed. "That's a good one."
"Wait..prove it." MJ hadn't looked away from him, but she was taking it seriously.
Ned's head whipped around to MJ. "What? He's obviously joking."
"I don't think so." MJ said slowly, her eyes not leaving Peter.
He swallowed. He was going to do this. Darcy and Daisy's friends all knew. He knocked on the fake panel of his wall, it slid down showing the suit, and his various bits and pieces of tech that were ready to go. "Uh...I kinda am...the bruising and ankle are from Rhino."
"What. The. Hell." Ned gaped at the suit.
MJ stood up. She took a step forward, reaching out she touched the suit. "It's real."
"Yeah uh…" Peter winced. "Surprise?"
Peter cracked open the drone to show off the innards to his friends. "Check it, they're programmed to automatically find and check high areas around crime scenes to make sure it's not a trap."
"Huh, that's kinda brilliant." MJ leaned in to take a look.
"Wait, wait." Ned was frowning. "So you and Daisy have been pretending to be romantically involved to keep anyone from realizing you're in high school. But she got kidnapped by future aliens and your sister Darcy is Darcy Stark which means your dad is Tony Stark. So everyone thinks you cheated on your sister with your other sister?!"
Peter nodded. "Basically, though the aliens aren't from the future. They just sent Daisy and her old SHIELD team to the future."
"What the heck." Ned said towards the floor. He looked up. "Wait, your parents were married does that mean….oh….sorry."
Peter shifted slightly. "It's...Tony's not that bad. At least my kinda step-dad isn't a serial killer like Daisy's."
"I'm sorry what?"
////
Pepper was concerned. Typically just knowing Tony meant being concerned. But this, this was a different sort of concern. It wasn't just the dread of knowing he was doing something that was going to inevitably blow. That was typical, he was always blowing things up. His worst fuck up to date being Ultron. Though if her understanding of the situation with the Accords had been correct, it almost topped that one. Thank god for Darcy. Darcy was a ticking time bomb till she blew up something though so small mercies as far as Pepper was concerned.
No, her current state of concern was that Tony wasn't blowing anything up. In fact, disturbingly, he'd been dutifully working with Legal and meeting with various politicians and the Director of SHIELD since they'd finished making time travel. Pepper was very specifically not thinking about the fact there was a fully functional time machine in the tower. She just...no. It just...if Daisy made it back without interference she was making them destroy the machine. It was just tempting fate to keep something like that.
The problem was she couldn't see anything bad in what Tony was doing. No theatrics, in fact the media was busy with tarring and feathering Darcy as a slut when they weren't reeling from the horrific details from the Barnes case that just...no one really cared what Tony was up to. She lived in fear of the day he pulled his nose out of this current project and noticed what was going on with Darcy. Pepper actually thought Darcy was being sensible about the whole thing and acting like it wasn't happening. It was temporary, once Daisy returned it would be a simple thing to make the whole thing look like conjecture. Darcy was probably planning on suing a lot of them.
Starks were terrifying when insulted.
Tony's current project was simple. Force the world kicking and screaming into political deals that meant when the next alien invasion happened it wasn't just up to the Avengers. That actual armies could be and would be mobilized. It was a good idea. A few rapid response teams could have saved hundreds if not thousands of live in the Battle of New York. Not to mention having a timeline and confirmed military forces ready to go in and assist in containing the situation the nuclear bomb would never have been a viable plan. It was a good system.
Hence the concern. "You haven't been into the labs in a week?"
"Very observant." He prodded lightly while flipping through legal paperwork. It wasn't even digital…
She stepped to his side, touching his shoulder. "Did they accept the deal?"
"The EU accepted, which means German, UK, France, Ukraine, and Greece's deals are valid and binding. With that I should get more to sign on." He closed the document, spinning so he was facing her. "Did you get Canada to sign?"
Pepper sighed, it was the smart move. Countries legally forced to provide military support in case of invasion. Agreeing to keep a team on standby at all times for deployment in case of large scale alien action against the planet. It was..a basis on which a bulwark of international treaties could be built. "As well as Mexico and Cuba. Our offices were contacted by Russia and I have a meeting with Japanese diplomats tomorrow morning."
"Good, good." His face was drawn and serious. "Thanos is coming."
She brushed at the edge of his hair. "If your vision was right."
"Future seeing aliens agree. He's coming." Tony's eyes were determined, surprisingly clear of alcohol as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "We'll be ready for him."
Pepper didn't disagree, this would...at least give the Avengers an international military coalition to back them should the worst come to be. "We're leaving SI vulnerable to our competition selling so much at cost to nations who agree to sign."
"Spawn or I will invent something to help make stupid money." That familiar stupid grin came on his face. "Besides, we're a trillion dollar company, it'll take more than a few lost profit margins to bankrupt us."
She sighed, it worried her she couldn't see the danger coming with this. Or rather she saw nothing but danger. But he was right. This was better. "Hill sent a memo, she found a Hydra Head. Brigadier General Hale in the Air Force."
"Hale? Hard ass sure, but a Nazi? Guess we know what stick was up her ass." Tony stood up waving his arm, pulling up digital files. "Natasha and Steve?"
Pepper hummed. "And Sam. They left three hours ago."
"Good." He frowned. "We need to salt and burn the earth, all that Shakespearean crap."
Pepper didn't offer comfort. He wouldn't want it and he was right. "Anti hero groups are going to get more aggressive."
"Apparently my kids are destined to save the planet." Tony pulled up the carefully written out predictions of the future he'd managed to get out of Noah. "SHIELD will work with Daisy. We've got Hill and Romanoff."
She actually had to pause at that. "You want an intelligence agency?"
"Make sure we have several we can use. Who said anything about owning one? Femme fatales may be hot but so last decade."
Pepper's lips twitched. "I'll organize a meeting with the CIA director and someone in Interpol. We can at least share intel."
"You are being concerningly useful. Not even a verbal spanking. Did the pod people get you?"
She rolled her eyes. "No your Spawn got to you. Keep it up and we might even revisit that conversation about kids of our own in the future."
Tony's whole face softened. "I think that'd be pretty great, top five events."
"Top five?" She challenged, though she felt fond as she did so.
He grinned. "Well my oldest Spawn tased Thor and my other daughter and son punched Captain America in the face. Then there's always the first Led Zeppelin concert I went to, those are hard to beat out. I mean that afterparty was pretty epic."
Pepper went to reply only to pause as Darcy's face popped up on the screen. There was a certain frayed nervousness wafting off the girl. Well, there was that explosion she'd been waiting for. "Darcy, what happened?"
-"So uh...short version I made a portal and we're evacuating Asgard temporarily to the tower. Just letting you know. Cheers. Bye."-
Pepper blinked. She looked at Tony. "Well that sounds like something for you to handle Poprocks." She accepted she wasn't going to be getting any sleep.
Notes:We've caught up to Ragnarok peeps!