Several hours later
After a good training session in the gym, I was in a big, bright room of the mansion with floor‑to‑ceiling windows and a large balcony. This room basically split the second floor into two wings, each with two bedrooms, and every bedroom had its own bathroom and walk‑in closet.
Sitting on a black leather couch in the middle of the room, I had a coffee table with apples in front of me. A nearly peeled apple was in my left hand, and the knife I was using to peel it was in my right.
It wasn't the first fruit I'd eaten, and I would've kept going if my mid‑range sensing hadn't picked up one cocky mug that, a moment later, showed up on my balcony in a whirl of leaves.
Hatake Kakashi—of course it was him—looked awkward, his face tense and nervous.
He shifted from foot to foot, then uncertainly set a big bag down in front of me… with the logo of my favorite pastry shop on it.
"Uh, hey, so…" He gave a little wave. "And, uh, forgive me. I'm late. A black cat crossed my path, and I had to walk around it in a circle… But then the same cat showed up again, can you believe it? And then I had to walk an old lady home, she'd gotten lost. And then this one thing happened, you won't believe it…"
Listening to him, my face made it very clear I thought he was talking crap and I didn't believe a word. At the same time I was deliberately eating my apple as slowly as possible.
When he got to his third excuse, I stopped him with a raised hand still holding the knife, and Kakashi froze.
"You seriously expect me to take this crap at face value?" My eyebrow went up as I set the apple and knife on the table and reached into the bag. "You think I'll forgive you being late just for this big chocolate cake?" I set the cake aside and dug in deeper. "You think I'll take this gorgeous cake with white icing and strawberries… as a bribe?" I put that one on the table too and reached in again. "Or do you figure I'll get all emotional and forget everything the second I see this caramel‑nut meringue cake?" I pulled out the last one and gave him a squint.
After a beat, Kakashi shrugged.
"Well, yeah."
"You're damn right," I told him in a completely serious tone, then relaxed fully and leaned back against the couch. "So how'd meeting our team go?"
"Fine."
Kakashi flinched at my mood shift. It was obvious he was uncomfortable being here—or rather, being in this position.
"Come on, unclench, it's fine," I said, trying to ease the mood, and patted the couch next to me.
He took the offer and sat down.
"Hm. The Hokage‑sama was right," he noted, watching me unwrap the chocolate cake.
"Oh, you talked to the old man about me?" I asked, interested, then sharply smacked Kakashi's hands when they reached for my cakes. "Hands off. Mine."
"M‑my… Yeah, we exchanged a few words." He put his hands on his own knees. "He mentioned you can be… vindictive. And now I see it."
"Vindictive? Really?" I asked, pulling a plate and some cutlery out of the seals on my wristbands. He shot me a look that clearly said, Dude, you seriously use expensive fūinjutsu bracelets just to carry that around?, but I ignored it and went on, "Maybe Koharu might've said something like that. And maybe Gendai. And Mizuki too. But other than that, I'm very kind."
Judging by the way Kakashi grimaced, he obviously didn't believe me.
"An avenger and a fangirl," he added a bit more detail. "But that's… workable. Can I ask you a favor?"
Munch, munch—I was already eating the cake. "Depends on the favor," I clarified.
"You know commanders give their genin a test first, right? And only then take them on as students."
I nodded.
"So. Could you personally not take part tomorrow? And, say, act as their tactician instead?"
"Hm‑m…" I tore myself away from the cake. "Two more."
"Two what?"
"You know." Another piece of cake went into my mouth.
"…Fine. I'll take care of it right now." He stood up and was already about to leave in a Shunshin, but…
"Hold up." I stopped him. I put the plate aside, and Chakra Threads burst from my hands and shot off deeper into the house. "Here. Clean up."
The threads pushed a broom and dustpan into Hatake's hands, and once he accepted them with a sigh, pointed at the leaves his Shunshin had blown all over the place, then dissolved into the air.
I went back to my sweets. Watching someone else work made the food taste even better.
The next day. Third person POV
One of the Hidden Leaf's many training grounds sat in the forest beside a running stream. It wasn't the same one where Naruto and Kakashi had sparred recently. In the middle of the field, three massive wooden posts were driven into the ground, and in the distance there was one of the stone memorials engraved with the names of Konoha civilians and shinobi killed in action.
Right now there were two people on the training ground: a black‑haired boy of about twelve in a blue shirt and white shorts. Lying back in the grass, he was staring sullenly into the greenery in front of him.
A short distance away sat a pink‑haired girl of the same age, in a red qipao‑style dress and tight dark‑green shorts. The really observant would notice her headband was on her belt, while the same red ribbon her old friend had given her was still on her long hair at the crown of her head. Now the bow was under her hair instead of on top of it, but that's not exactly vital detail…
You couldn't really call what was between them an idyll. In fact you couldn't call it that at all. The two teenagers were sitting apart from each other, looking tired and bored.
These were Sasuke and Sakura.
It probably would've stayed like that for quite a while, until a blond—Uzumaki Naruto—suddenly appeared in the clearing.
"Naruto!" Haruno jumped to her feet at once. "You're late!"
"Hi to you too." He greeted the girl, glanced up at the sun for a second, then nodded to the boy who had gotten up and come over. "Eleven‑thirty. I got here fifteen minutes early."
"But we were told to be here at five in the morning!"
"And I was told to be here in ten minutes." At the blond's words the girl's mouth fell open, and the black‑haired boy went thoughtful. "Looks like you got lied to," he confirmed.
"How could he…" The girl's eyes went glassy. "He's an elite jōnin… We haven't eaten anything since morning… And…"
She was cut off by a pat on the shoulder from the blond.
"Don't stress about it. And hey, Sasuke," he turned to the other boy, "stop glaring at the grass like it murdered your family. It didn't do anything to you."
"But how could he?" Sakura asked. "He's supposed to be a responsible shinobi."
Suppressing a chuckle, Naruto gave her an awkward smile.
"Well, it's good to believe in the best, but it's not always like that. Balance, Sakura—there are slackers among people too."
"M‑mm," was all that came out of her.
The black‑haired boy, after thinking about something, started staring at the blond with suspicion.
"No, you're wrong, Sasuke. I'm not in cahoots with that jōnin. Even if we did agree on a couple things…" Uchiha's stare got even more suspicious.
Sasuke usually didn't need words to get his opinion across very clearly. Naruto just rolled his eyes at it and pulled two white balls about fist‑sized from the seal on his bracers, handing them to his teammates.
"The test for genin before a jōnin takes you on as students. I knew about it, a lot of instructors do it. I also figured Kakashi might try to stick you in a bad spot with something like this. Bon appétit."
"Hm…" Sasuke made his first sound after taking the ball. "Did you two agree you'd poison them?"
Uchiha's suspicious eyes were about to narrow at Uzumaki, but then caught on Sakura, frozen in place. She'd already taken three quick bites and stopped on the fourth with her mouth still open.
Everything he thought about her flickered across Sasuke's face, while Naruto just rolled his eyes again.
"They're fast‑absorbing, high‑carb food pills. The point is to give you a quick hit of energy. Like I said, I planned ahead a bit."
"And…" the black‑haired boy pushed him to go on.
"We agreed I wouldn't participate in this test directly. Nothing more. I've crossed blades with Kakashi before, and I figure he wants to check your skills, not mine. And yeah, it benefits me if you're in shape and actually pass this test. Because as a teacher, that jōnin suits me."
"You sparred with Kakashi?" Sasuke clarified and, after giving the ball a pretty hostile look, finally took a bite. Sakura, who had been glancing between us, just kept eating.
"Yeah, I told you already. Pretty so‑so fight, honestly. Hatake was really slowing down sometimes."
Sasuke was about to ask something else, to get a better feel for who we might all end up working with, when the subject of the conversation himself cut in.
"He even showed up early," the blond nodded in surprise that, for once, someone wasn't late.
"U‑uh… Yo, how's it going?" the silver‑haired man said, not immediately getting his bearings. He had two pre‑packed bentō boxes tucked under one arm.
In response, two pairs of very pissed‑off eyes fixed on him.
Kakashi noticed they were already finishing off some kind of balls, and that knocked him off balance.
"Uh… I did say not to eat anything…"
…
…
He couldn't say he heard a single word. But their faces made the message perfectly clear: Screw you.
Kakashi waited in silence, expression blank, until they finished.
"R‑right… Anyway, Naruto probably already told you we agreed on a couple things. So…"
Setting the bentō on a handy stump nearby, he showed them two bells on strings.
"Your goal, you two, is to take these from me. If you can't, all three of you go back to the Academy. If you can, then two genin will stay on a team with me—whoever you decide to leave the bells with. The third still goes back to the Academy either way…" Kakashi was going to keep talking, but noticed a raised hand. "Yeah, Naruto?"
"He's lying," Uzumaki ratted the jōnin out without a shred of guilt.
"Are you sure?" Sakura asked, as she and Sasuke turned toward him.
"Y—" Naruto started to confirm, then caught Hatake's two‑finger gesture.
Following their teammate's gaze, the two not‑yet‑genin looked the same way, only to see Kakashi lifting his head with an annoyed expression, like he'd just been nodding to himself.
"No, I'm not sure. Rumor just said something a bit different," Uzumaki lied just as shamelessly, who'd be getting five more cakes today.
It's not like that lie was going to hurt his teammates. And with that clearly inflated price, he was also quietly getting some payback from "one‑eye" on their behalf.
"R‑right, well," Hatake showed off his eloquence. "Anyway, you two have to take the bells from me before noon. Or you don't get any food…" He nodded at the bentō, then shot a disgruntled look at Uzumaki. "Though I guess that doesn't matter to you anymore. Naruto, like we agreed, will be your tactician. He won't lay hands on me—no touching the bells, my face, my stomach or even my spine. Same goes for his feet."
The blond flashed an OK sign while his teammates glanced between him and their future teacher.
"So will all three of us pass, or just two?" Sakura asked.
Hatake just folded his arms, already having the bells hooked to his belt.
"That… you'll find out when the test is over. You can start. Oh, and yeah, don't hold back. Attack with intent to kill." Saying that last part with special seriousness, he then casually reached into his pouch, pulled out his favorite little orange book, and hid from the world behind it.
Sasuke didn't like that gesture; he took it as an insult and was already about to go at the jōnin who clearly thought too much of himself. But he was stopped by Uzumaki's hand on his shoulder.
"Too early. Fall back, I've got a few ideas."
After a short pause, the genin moved off to the edge of the training ground, something Kakashi watched with mild surprise.
It wasn't the first time in his memory that fresh shinobi graduates decided to put together at least some kind of plan first. Though… that had never ended well, but that was another story. What surprised him more was that the Uchiha actually backed off from what he wanted and listened to his teammate.
After that… Kakashi couldn't keep his eyes on the page. His gaze kept drifting toward the new team he'd been handed.
It was some kind of alien, unnatural sight… which only made it more fascinating.
Graduates who had just become genin… were… making a tactic? Like, for real?
Hatake watched with growing amazement as the two of them listened closely to the blond who had turned his back to the silver‑haired man—and they didn't even seem to be arguing? For more than a minute? And nobody had started yelling, jabbing a thumb at themselves, insisting they were the one who should be in charge?
He didn't really believe what he was seeing… And on top of that… the other two were even clarifying things, while Uzumaki calmly gave them more instructions!
No way. No fucking way. That can't be real.
Kakashi could more or less understand the blond's behavior. He was an exception, one of the craziest prodigies out there—Kakashi's ribs remembered that very well. But those two as well?! Did they actually amount to something too?
At that moment Kakashi raised his hand to get the trio's attention.
The real goal of this test was to check their ability to work as a team. And there were already enough signs they were capable of it.
"You guys…" Hatake cut himself off. "Carry on."
And waved for them not to get distracted.
No… now the jōnin was actually curious—very curious—how this would turn out.
He managed to get his eyes back on the book.
Kakashi was, of course, starting to have certain hopes for these three. But they were still just Academy graduates… Not the little monster Minato‑sensei had left behind, but ordinary genin. He'd read their files, which meant taking them too seriously would be… overkill.
Although…
Hatake looked up from the book again and glanced at the genin.
Uzumaki's file was full of crap too. As if he were just a regular genin. But…
No, nonsense. All three of them couldn't be like that.
Now properly calming himself down, the man went back to his book.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the field—
"Sasuke, your job is frontal pressure. You're our anvil. Use everything you've got: taijutsu, shuriken, wire, fireballs. Your goal isn't to beat him, it's to make him move and use Substitution. Make him believe you're the main threat," Uzumaki said methodically.
"Sakura, you're, like, our hammer. You're faster, more mobile… No, Sasuke, don't stare at me like that, I know what I'm talking about. Anyway, Sakura. Your job is to keep changing position, using the trees and, if you have to, the water. You'll be hitting from the flanks and from behind, but only on my command. Don't get pulled into a drawn‑out fight."
He looked at both of them, thinking for a moment.
Sakura really had made progress in a few areas thanks to Uzumaki's training. At the very least she'd learned to walk up vertical surfaces and on water, strengthen her body with chakra better, and even use the Body Flicker Technique—frankly, at a pretty mediocre level, but still—and a couple of weak (for her level, decent) genjutsu. Turned out Haruno had a serious knack for chakra control, so all that came to her relatively easily.
But in Academy spars those skills weren't as important as certain others. She lost to Sasuke in close‑quarters and short bursts of speed—same way Naruto lost to Kakashi there. On top of that, her fighting style was far from good. Because of all that she could easily seem weaker than Sasuke back in the Academy. Still, each of Naruto's teammates had their own advantages. If Sakura's were listed above, then Sasuke's were much stronger close combat—he was stronger and more technical. He threw and fought with kunai really well, was good with shuriken and with wire. And on top of that he had a decent amount of strong chakra he could turn into not‑many‑but‑effective fire techniques.
The girl looked energetic now—the pill she'd eaten was already kicking in, and her eyes were darting a little restlessly between the guys and their surroundings—but she was also a bit nervous because of how important what they were about to do was. Sasuke, having also topped up his energy, had no trouble brooding. He didn't like listening to anyone. But since this "someone" beat him down on a pretty regular basis, he had to admit it was worth listening.
Shaking off his thoughts, Uzumaki went on:
"I know what each of you can do on your own, but you don't know each other's strengths. You need to trust me and trust that your teammate will do their job. I'll coordinate you using a Mind Link Technique—the Hokage gave me the scroll. With permission from the Yamanaka clan, if anyone cares," he added, looking at Sakura, who seemed way too tense. "Sakura, drop the emotions. Don't think about not letting Sasuke down. Think about getting your job done."
Both of them felt something touch from inside their skulls. An invisible, very thin thread of chakra.
"Listen carefully," Naruto's voice sounded in their heads. "Kakashi might be a lazy ass, but he's careful. He's already prepped logs and other objects with his chakra for convenient Substitution Jutsu. One's in that hollow in the old oak. Second's under the roots of the willow by the stream. Third's disguised as that rock over there. Our job is to drive him through the sequence of substitutions we want. The plan has three stages and it's flexible…"
For several minutes Naruto shared his experience dealing with Kakashi's movements and behavior in general. He also explained the common plan and, for each of them, about a dozen possible ways it could branch out. Once he was sure they got it, he finished:
"That's it. My voice'll be in your heads. I believe in you, and I'm right here."
The three of them traded looks.
Sasuke's face was set in grim resolve; Sakura's showed about the same. Naruto was smirking, a bit encouraging.
A heartbeat later, Sakura shot off into the trees.
Seeing Kakashi react to that movement, the blond grinned, dragged his thumb across his throat and pointed at the jōnin, then also vanished into the forest, leaving Kakashi one‑on‑one with Sasuke.
Stage One: Predictable Threat.
Things started fast and sharp.
Sasuke went in with an aggressive attack. First shuriken, then closing the distance with strikes, trying to tie his opponent up with wire.
Without lifting his eye from the book, Kakashi easily knocked aside every flying projectile and slipped past every attack, as if he were playing with a kitten.
His eye wasn't even really on the Uchiha. He was expecting something from the side, some kind of trick. Uzumaki wouldn't make a gesture like that for nothing, right? Or… was it just a distraction?
The jōnin kept scanning the area and at one point, to an experienced shinobi's eye, left himself very nicely open to an attack from the black‑haired boy.
Right then a voice rang in Uchiha's head: "Sasuke, break off to seven o'clock! Mid‑range! Great Fireball Technique! Aim right at him!"
The black‑haired boy immediately broke off, leaping in the direction Naruto gave, and quickly formed the seals.
A huge fireball, crackling and sucking in the air, roared toward the jōnin.
Now that was more serious.
Kakashi showed he hadn't actually been completely distracted and, still without looking up from his book, simply vanished with a soft clap, leaving a log in his place.
The clearing shook when the fireball hit. A patch several meters across went up at once, like someone had poured gasoline there and lit it. The log was definitely going to burn…
Kakashi himself appeared on a branch of the old oak—exactly where Naruto had said he would.
"Not bad, Sasuke‑kun," he commented lazily, but loud enough for everyone to hear, turning a page. "But it's not reaching me."
Apparently Uzumaki's throat‑slitting gesture had been a distraction for this. To make Kakashi focus more on his surroundings and neglect the Uchiha.
Kakashi waited for the next move. Usually after a display like that, genin either ran out of steam or started attacking without thinking.
Given the Uchiha's strength, it would probably be the second.
Stage Two: Mobile Threat.
"Sakura, your position is the tree right above him. He's not paying attention, your Chakra Concealment will be enough. Wait. Now!" came the command in the pink‑haired girl's head.
She was already in position, holding her breath. Her hiding skills, polished under Naruto's guidance, had let her sneak up unnoticed.
Her chakra‑strengthened legs tensed.
On command she dropped silently.
Kakashi, still expecting something more from the Uchiha, noticed her only at the last second.
A shadow flashed from above.
Her speed and stealth surprised him, but an elite jōnin's reactions were more than enough to get clear.
Another pop of a Substitution, and he was already by the stream next to the willow. Open ground.
"Not bad," he drawled, noting out of the corner of his eye how the girl landed softly and immediately melted back into the leaves.
Kakashi still didn't feel a real threat—more like mild surprise that these kids were definitely better than average, but… still kids.
Stage Three: Perfect Trap.
"Sasuke, distract him with fire from the stream side! Sakura, come in from the flank and hit him with genjutsu! Drive him toward the rocks!"
Sasuke, almost at the right position already, sent out a spread of Phoenix Flower Jutsu. The fireballs streaked toward Kakashi. At the same time, Sakura slipped in from the side and, forming a simple seal, cast her weak but distracting genjutsu—an illusion of shuriken flying at him from the opposite direction.
Kakashi clicked his tongue. Two threats from different directions. Dealing with both was more hassle than it was worth. Easier to use his last prepared Substitution.
He formed the seal again.
He appeared beside a pile of rocks, bracing for the next attack. Right where Haruno was waiting close by.
"Sakura, now!"
A shower of real kunai flew at Kakashi—easier to dodge than to knock aside. The man tried to do just that…
But his foot caught on something thin and almost invisible.
Wire.
He tried to step out of it to keep his balance, but…
The briefest hitch was enough.
The girl, whose weapons were only cover to let her close in, lunged forward, using her best Shunshin.
Time seemed to slow.
Kakashi, losing his balance, saw her coming and tried to move, but his body was busy trying not to fall.
Sakura was already flying in.
At that moment Naruto's threatening gesture flashed through Kakashi's mind and, on reflex, the man covered his vital spots, hoping to either block the blow or catch her outright. He was still a strong jōnin; his strength should've been enough.
But instead of a strike, the girl's hand darted to his belt and tore off the two small, jingling bells.
The only sound was the soft thump of the book falling from his hands into the grass.
Kakashi finally straightened and stared in surprise at Sakura, who was braced on her knees, gulping air… all so she could triumphantly lift the bells in her hand and—
"Yeeees!" she shrieked with joy, throwing her arm up. "Now I get to be with Sasuke‑kun!!!"
Sasuke came out of the bushes right as she yelled, immediately shooting her an irritated look. But when he noticed what she was holding, he blinked, then gave a short, understanding nod.
Naruto dropped lightly from a nearby tree.
"Plan complete. Time: one minute twelve seconds. Not bad for a first run."
Kakashi slowly lowered his gaze to his book, picked it up, and slid it into his pouch. He looked at Naruto, then at the ecstatic Sakura, then at the brooding Sasuke.
Hatake's eye showed genuine shock…
"Professionally laid wire. That wasn't here before…" he muttered.
"We weren't planning to kill you," the blond shrugged, then spread his arms with satisfaction. "It's called misdirection."
Naruto smirked even wider.
Shisui would probably have called Sakura's Shunshin "barely acceptable" at best—if he weren't in his grave—but even that level of execution had been enough. Kakashi, sure, hadn't been going all out, but even so… for brand‑new genin, this was more than impressive.
"You passed… all three of you."
"Hmph," Sasuke grunted.
"Yeeees!" Obvious who that was, yelling again.
"Great," Uzumaki nodded. "In honor of that, I suggest…" He turned to Hatake. "Kakashi‑san, you kept my teammates starving for almost seven hours. Don't you think you should at least pay for our celebration?"
Hatake's eye popped a little at the blond.
"Yeah, that's right! That was really mean, Kakashi‑sensei!" Sakura jumped in before he could object.
"But I…" the silver‑haired man started, tilting his head toward the stump with the two bentō.
"I agree," Sasuke added. "You're our senior now. It'd be the responsible thing to do."
The jōnin looked this trio over, tossing an especially sour glance at the blond. This team… had suddenly turned into some kind of financial black hole.
"…Fine," he agreed with a sigh.
"Perfect," Uzumaki said, earning a look from Kakashi like he was the most brazen pickpocket in existence, who'd just walked up, stuck his hand in the man's pocket, and grabbed as much money as he wanted.
After that they agreed on a time for the evening and went their separate ways… At the very least, Kakashi had to head to the Akimichi clan and reserve a table.
And the blond had a couple of things to take care of himself.
_____
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