"Sporting Lisbon have reached the Champions League knockout stage! Unfortunately, it's not the first team — it's the U15s!"
"Football Caesar, the God of the Kill! Two match-winners in three European games, four goals and two assists, leading the team into the UEFA Youth League knockouts!"
"Fighting on two fronts and getting braver by the game — how far can Sporting Lisbon U15 go this season?"
"They won't go far! Kai's goals can't hide his fatigue! His one-footed problem could become his Achilles' heel!"
"Chris still has major chemistry issues with his teammates. He only links up with Kai!"
"Barcelona were eliminated after losing to Bayern in the Champions League. Guardiola burst into tears: 'We're in the same situation as Kai. If we faced our opponents head-on, we could advance by winning. Unfortunately, Kai seized his chance and killed his opponent — I couldn't play because of injuries and couldn't help the team win!'"
Guardiola mentioned "Kai" in an interview after Barcelona's group-stage exit.
Most media outlets quickly figured out who this Kai was.
If you weren't paying attention, you wouldn't know.
If you were, you'd be shocked.
The football "scammer" who caused so much controversy this summer had actually led his team into the UEFA Youth League knockout rounds?
And when the team started badly, he personally drove a three-match European comeback?
Four goals and two assists in three games.
Is this still a midfield brain?
Or is this a midfield assassin?
Soon after, it was revealed that Barcelona's academy had refused to sign Kai earlier this year.
Although the UEFA Youth League and the Champions League aren't comparable, they both carry the name "Champions League."
As last season's La Liga and Copa del Rey double champions, Barcelona's group-stage elimination deeply angered the fans.
Many first-team players were heavily criticized.
And "Kai leading his team into the knockouts" became a popular way to mock Barcelona's failure.
For a while, even media and fans who never followed youth football began focusing on Kai.
Kai was surrounded by reporters multiple times at the Alcochete Academy.
He was relaxed and generously accepted interviews.
Reporter: "What do you think about Barcelona's Champions League elimination?"
Kai: "That's the charm of football, and the charm of the Champions League. Even the best teams in Europe can go home in the group stage."
Reporter: "Do you think this is karma for Barcelona not signing you?"
Kai: "First, even if they had signed me, I wouldn't be playing in this year's Champions League. Second, my age and strength don't allow me to compete in professional leagues yet. And finally, I wouldn't go to Barcelona."
Reporter: "So you're gloating about Barcelona's exit?"
Kai: "I don't know how you came up with that, but of course not."
"Although I had conflicts with the people in charge of recruitment at Barcelona, I've never had issues with the players. Don't forget — Figo played for Barcelona. No Sporting Lisbon player dislikes Figo. He's all of our idol."
"And I really like Mr. Guardiola. He gave me some precious signed footballs."
"I still have about three of them. Considering they're probably signed at the peak of his career, if anyone wants to buy one, feel free to contact me. Trust me — it's a bit expensive, but worth every cent."
Reporter: ???
Kai: "That aside, Barcelona aren't weak this season. They have a strong chance to beat Real Madrid in the league and win back-to-back titles. Exiting the Champions League is unfortunate, but acceptable — because Manchester United and Bayern Munich are both Champions League final-level teams."
"If Barcelona had squeezed past either of them, they could've gone on to win the Champions League. There's no shame in losing to teams like that."
Kai kept talking.
The reporters started getting excited.
Hahaha!
As expected, the kid clearly didn't do many interviews — half of what he said sounded like nonsense.
Bayern had indeed reclaimed the top spot in the Bundesliga.
But Manchester United…
After Eric Cantona suddenly retired last season, United were in chaos.
Their league form this year was terrible, once dropping to around tenth place in the Premier League.
A team like that, competitive in the Champions League?
Not just Manchester United — the entire Premier League was struggling in Europe.
And now a kid was saying Manchester United were final-level?
If you don't bait him, who will?
Reporter: "If Bayern and Manchester United are both final-level teams, then do you think they'll meet in the Champions League final?"
Other reporters shook their heads.
Such low quality.
For headlines, you're really tricking a thirteen-year-old kid?
Then they noticed — Bora Newspaper.
Ah, that explains it.
Bora had always targeted Kai.
Rumor had it this was related to discrimination against Asians within Bora's upper management.
Of course, Bora denied it.
Kai seemed to ignore the hints from the other reporters and replied calmly:
Kai: "Yes. I think they can both reach the final."
The Bora reporter nearly burst out laughing.
Bora Reporter: "So between Bayern and Manchester United, who do you think will win the Champions League?"
Kai raised his eyebrows confidently.
Kai: "Of course — Manchester United."
This time, the Bora reporter laughed openly.
Bora Reporter: "So which Manchester United players do you like?"
Kai: "All of them. But this year specifically — Beckham, Sheringham, and Solskjær."
Now even the other reporters were curious.
Being able to name these three didn't sound like someone clueless about football.
But… mentioning these three this year also felt oddly wrong.
Sheringham and Solskjær were mostly substitutes, with limited fanbases — appreciated mainly by old-school fans.
But Beckham…
Handsome, famous young, hugely influential.
Yet at the recent World Cup, Beckham had become England's villain.
His retaliatory kick against Simeone earned him a red card, and many blamed him for England's elimination.
Fans turned on him overnight.
Did Kai live in a village with no internet?
Seeing the Bora reporter's constant sneering, Kai frowned.
Kai: "Do you find this funny? Are you laughing at me, or at Manchester United?"
Bora Reporter: "It's all funny. What, are you angry? Did reaching the Champions League knockouts — oh wait, the U15 Champions League — go to your head?"
Kai shook his head, staring coldly at him.
Kai: "If you think I'm funny, then let this be my motivation. When the season ends, I'll shut your mouth with trophies so you never laugh again."
"If you think Manchester United is funny, that'll be their motivation. When the season ends, they'll silence mockers with trophies too."
"Not just the Champions League — the league and the FA Cup as well. I'm optimistic about Manchester United in all of them."
"Manchester United may not be the strongest club, but this year's Manchester United is the best."
"Remember this sentence. If anyone asks, tell them — Manchester United are number one. I said it."
"And the same goes for Sporting Lisbon. Our youth academy may not be the best in Europe, but this year's Sporting Lisbon U15 are number one."
"Do you understand what number one means?"
After finishing, Kai turned away calmly.
Sporting Lisbon fans reacted instantly.
"Number one! Number one! Number one!"
Cristiano Ronaldo, waiting nearby for his own interview, shouted:
"Manchester United are awesome! Sporting Lisbon are number one! Go to hell, Bora — cut cock idiots!"
Click. Click. Click.
The moment was captured by surrounding media, edited into videos and articles, and soon appeared in the Manchester Evening News.
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