Tanmay--
It's been 1 year 5 months and 17 days , since I broke up. That pain of separation, betrayal and loss been eating me good upto now also. But anyhow I am used to it. No matter how much I suppress my brain, memories good or bad keep coming into my thoughts of that one person. That relationship was more than 9 years old. Started with immature self until we both became more of appropriate age where person becomes more responsible for relationship and future. I am maybe kind of lover, who's so involved in other person ( might say I am clingy and more emotionally dependent) wanted us to be like no space couple. ( I might look like one, but I respect boundaries than anything, never invaded anything forcefully, but I think attention, Honesty and commitment is basic rights in that type of long term relationship.) I was unfortunate enough, not to see some truths also got betrayed and it ended. I never thought it can shatter me to the point, for past one year, I open my eyes in morning, I got no thought of moving, like why I just opened my eyes, regret of living life was too much. Lost my hope in anything. I can just look at one thing for hours. I lost my appetite, interests , excitement in anything. I smile pretentiously, not to worry people around me. But it can't be go unnoticed in eyes of parents and some good friends.Yes, I am grateful for every one of them. They sent me to psychiatrist. Some pills and now I feel neutral. I might sleep well. And by grace of kind god, I have one good job. I partially love to work there until people bother me. But they also supported considering my mental condition, i work separately and only professional talks. Well my behaviour is typical.heartbroken lover. I might finish myself if my family and friends not there. It's nothing to be proud about or to discuss. But my mother who play emotionally with me all time, begged me to meet girls for marriage. I just clearly told her
Tanmay - Mom, I am not kind of person a normal girl can marry. That kind of relationship itself vows and expectations, responsibilities.
Mom- who's telling you to marry right away ? Just meet and talk and will see where it goes..
Here comes my father also joined the conversation.
Father- Son. We love you. But we care. It's been long since ...just move on Tanmay, life goes on. You can't sit just think about "why they left or why life is so hard on me"
Tanmay - Papa, I know. And I assure you, I am progressing. I don't think about it anymore. But marriage... No. It's like I am playing with other person emotion, where I am sure I can't give the love or attention they deserve.
Mom- why you so stubborn Tanmay ? You want me to see in pain all time by seeing your lifeless face everyday. You don't laugh, you don't eat well, only you do is work, sometimes hard gym.
Papa- you're mom is right. You're young with bright future. Son give it one chance, you're just meeting the girl, then decide who's forcing you.
They are definitely worried. It's been long time, my mom always forced me to see girl's picture, from her WhatsApp group and I always like this. I stubbornly rejected all bio-data as my treatment ongoing.But this time Papa's intervention shows they are serious and tired. Son who's crazy in love and on self destroying mode, I am practically burden to them. You people must be thinking why I am living with my parents. Well, previously when I and my ex were together, she lived in same city, otherwise I flew away long time ago. Because after my elder sister wedding my parents hoping I marry my lover atleast but it didn't happened. I fell ill. Here I am. I want to go away from them but they will never let me go without I find myself life partner. I can understand them. Parents wishes best for their child. But it's hell of irritating for me.
Tanmay - ok fine. But I have conditions, from now to three months, if I don't find anyone from arranged match you both will leave me alone. And let me live peacefully.
Papa- what's this ridiculous deal ?
Mom- Tanmay please, even one good course take one year to study, is it for us ?
Tanmay - if you're ok we will start. If not, then I am not at all into this.
Mom -Fine, whatever. See this pic. You must remember her. Our family friend daughter. Shreya. Such a lovely child. You remembered in childhood when we used to visit each other you loved to play with her. Also in school. She's so bright. Unlike you, lover boy.
Mom made sarcastic face and I smiled. I looked at Shreya's photo and I laughed. Literally I couldn't stop myself.
Papa- why you laughing? Come on Tanmay can you be more serious about this ?
Tanmay - she ... wearing ethnic... ( My parents looked at me with dissatisfied face) Ok fine... let's meet her.
Shreya, I remembered her tom boy image.. I mean not exactly tom boy but she's not someone who's soft, pink with open hair aura, she's more of neat attire, aggressive looks, tight bound hair and never interested in boys, can pick fights with boys over parking of cycle and winner of tennis and badminton game. Such a sport player.