After I was officially introduced as the new brand bearer, the academy stopped feeling like home.
It became a hostile place.
I remember one morning in the training yard.
The ground was covered with a thin layer of frost. Dawn was just breaking; the first rays of sunlight filtered over the stone wall, and an intense smell of metal hung in the air.
The atmosphere was charged with newly invoked magic... and failure.
We were all lined up, arms extended in front of us, waiting for the instructor's orders.
"Concentrate," he ordered in a firm voice. "We will practice basic magic."
Daniel went first.
A stable, controlled flame emerged from his hand, seemingly without effort.
Orla followed. She created a perfectly defined sphere of ice and reinforced it with her protective barrier.
Then it was Eleonor's turn.
She didn't even seem to be trying. She formed a kind of spear by combining fire and ice, and covered it with her magic barrier. The energy was so precise that it seemed like a natural extension of her body.
Looks of admiration were immediate. The instructors congratulated her without reservation.
Then it was my turn.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to repeat what I had practiced hundreds of times.
I felt the flow of magic coursing through me… slow, clumsy.
I managed to form only a thin thread of ice that fell to the ground before vanishing.
"Again," the instructor ordered, impatiently.
I tried again.
Nothing changed.
A murmur ran through the group.
"Is that all you can create?" said a voice I recognized immediately.
It was Eleonor.
She wasn't openly mocking me, but her expression said more than any words.
"He can't even maintain a basic form," she added. "How does he expect to survive in real combat?"
I felt my face burn with shame.
"Concentrate, Noah," Daniel whispered from his place.
But my hands were trembling. The magic wasn't responding… or perhaps I didn't know how to make it respond.
The instructor sighed.
"That's enough for today. Keep watching; maybe you'll learn something."
The laughter was unrestrained.
As the months passed, nothing improved.
In the physical tests, I always came in last.
In the practice duels, I could barely create a barrier before completely exhausting my magical power.
My body didn't react like everyone else's.
My magic seemed like a joke.
Eleonor never missed an opportunity to remind me of it.
During a group training session in the forest, she said mockingly:
"Don't push yourself too hard. You might hurt yourself."
"Leave him alone," Orla intervened. "At least he's trying."
"Trying isn't enough," Eleonor retorted. "If we fight again, he'll pay with his life."
She didn't yell. She didn't insult.
Her words were worse: truths as sharp as knives.
In one of the combat training sessions, I was paired with her.
I knew I didn't stand a chance.
"Give up," she said before we started. "If you don't, you'll make a fool of yourself... and I can hurt you."
"I won't," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Then you brought this on yourself."
She attacked; I defended. I created a barrier of ice and reinforced it with my defensive power, but it was shattered with two simple attacks.
The fight lasted less than a minute.
She struck me with an ice spear and sent me crashing to the ground.
Eleanor didn't even seem tired.
"This is exactly what I'm talking about," she said, turning her back to me.
That sentence stuck with me.
That night I made a decision.
While the others rested, I trained in secret.
I repeated the movements over and over again, until my hands burned and my head ached.
One night, Eleanor discovered me.
"Do you think training at night will make you better?" she asked from the doorway.
She didn't wait for an answer.
"I don't think so," she added, her tone laced with anger. "Magic can't be forced. You either have it... or you don't."
"Not everyone is born perfect," I replied.
She was silent for a few seconds.
"That doesn't matter when lives are at stake," she finally said. "And you're a useless person who still doesn't understand that."
She turned and left without saying anything else.