'My plan.. what do I want to do?'
He had thought about it for a long time.
After the battle against Roswell he was certain of the kind of person he wanted to be. To prove to himself that he had changed and was different from his past self, he wanted to become someone who didn't need to rely on killing to survive. He wanted to be able to understand why someone fell from the correct path, and if possible try to show them a better way to live.
He wanted to prove that even the worst person in the world could..
But after he got that message from Tyr, that quickly changed.
'Weaver..'
He had thought.. no, he hoped that he wouldn't ever regain those memories. If he made just one mistake and killed even just one person, he was sure he'd go down a path of no return and the memories of his past self would comeback. The current him was fake, and would easily drown in his real memories.
Hugo told him that maybe he had abandoned his old identity out of trauma, and he believed that too. But learning that his own mind had infact been mutilated by an external force made him unsure of himself again.
'If I didn't do that of my own will, then does the me who exists now even have a right to live?'
Before, he came to the conclusion that if he could prove he had changed for the better then maybe.. but now? It took how many years worth of memories to be stolen for him to end up as he was now??
He didn't want to try it before if it meant people had to die, but if he wanted to get his memories back, there was a foggy yet direct path he could take now.
"I'm gonna go look for a guy called weaver."
That was the future he had decided for himself.
'Even if I don't get my memories back, I want answers.'
Azdin waited for their reactions, expecting perhaps a few questions or the occasional remark from Myne. Instead, an inexplicable sense of foreboding crept over him. The atmosphere around the table had shifted, subtle yet unmistakable, as though he'd unwittingly uttered something illegal.
Myne's playful smile had vanished entirely. She sat still, her eyes fixed on him with an intensity that seemed wholly at odds with her usual carefree demeanour. Beside her, Hugo's expression had grown equally grim, his previous irritation replaced by a quiet, guarded seriousness. Neither of them spoke, and somehow, their silence was more unsettling than any response could have been.
Lotte, meanwhile, remained composed. Her silver eyes rested on Azdin, betraying little of what she might have been thinking. She made no attempt to interrupt the silence, nor did she seem particularly surprised by the name. But Azdin couldn't shake the feeling that he had made a mistake.
Myne was the first to break the ice.
"Weaver. The demon of fate weaver? The person who eluded the gods for epochs?"
Azdin blinked.
"Pardon?"
She stared at him. The serious look in her eyes growing a bit more fierce.
"This guy really doesn't know anything!"
She leaned back in her chair, dragging a hand down her face. Hugo however, seemed more concerned with something else entirely. His eyes narrowed as he studied Azdin, the earlier leisure in his expression having all but disappeared.
"Azdin, where did you hear that name?"
He opened his mouth to speak but quickly took it back. Taking a moment to think on it properly though, he said,
"It was in one of the books I read on Roswells ship."
Hugo's expression stiffened further.
"Why do you want to find them?"
He hesitated to answer again.
'I already almost slipped up. I can't tell Hugo about that, yet.'
He couldn't tell Hugo about the talk he had with Tyr. Now wasn't the time. To begin with, he was the only one who knew about his memory loss so saying everything about what happened with Myne and Lotte present would be strange.
Aside from that, he was also just afraid of what he might think. If possible he didn't want to tell him at all.
Resolute, Azdin answered,
"Not sure, I just wanted a goal and that seems pretty tough."
For a moment, nobody spoke,
Then Myne's face twisted into an expression of utter disbelief.
"Amazing! You want to find that maniac because you're bored? You got any other amazing ideas cooking up in that head of yours?"
Azdin looked between them, somewhat taken aback by their hostility. He wanted to say the he was going to become a god too.. but he felt that would spark another outcry. The atmosphere had become tense enough.
"I'm going to stay here for the distater tide first. I'll do what I can to help the people here, then I'll probably leave."
There was a reason why his flaw had been pulling him towards it. While all the mundane people here seemed to go about their lives in peace, he could tell that they were all terrified of the future in truth.
'A flood of hundreds of thousands of rampaging creatures.'
It was a sure sign of destruction.
He couldn't ignore it.
Myne's gaze lingered on him. Hearing his last answer made her fierceness give way to something more subdued. Next, her attention trickled back away from him as it landed on Lotte. A grin already emerging on her face.
"Hey, you guys wanna know what I just noticed?"
Hugo looked at her warily, already feeling the trouble.
"Lotte's been asking everyone what their plans were, but she never said anything about herself? That's not very fair, is it?"
Her silver eyes shifted towards Myne. She seemed caught off guard by the sudden attention, as she let out a small sigh.
"I was hoping I wouldn't have to say anything.. I'm actually a little embarrassed."
Taking a sip from her drink, she spoke,
"I travelled here on a pilgrimage from a mortal realm, in hopes of attaining enlightement and becoming awakened but.."
Her voice trailed off. Lowering her gaze, she appeared to struggle with finding the correct words.
"I just can't do it anymore! I thought I'd just see a sight or three but then things just kept going wrong and wrong..."
Before being captured by the war empire privateers, she had undergone her own fare share of hardship. In the beginning she was decently wealthy when she left, but it seemed lady luck didn't favour her one bit as she was robbed time and time again. When she ran out of money, she had no choice but to work odd jobs to get by, and when she encountered danger, she could only fall back on her wittiness and cunning to find a way to wriggle out of whatever trouble she landed in.
But even that, had it's limits.
"Living with you guys, I've realized that this life isn't for me. I'll count my blessings and go home as soon as I can."
She had learned, that not everyone had what it took to walk the path of ascension.
Her words fell over the table with quiet finality. Myne, who'd been so eager to tease her moments earlier, seemed to have lost her appetite for jokes.
Lotte looks around one last time, seemingly realising she dampened the mood too. She offered an apologetic smile, lowering her head slightly.
"Ah, I'm sorry. I talked too much."
Azdin however, shook his head. He'd had his suspicions about Lotte for a while now as there had always been something about her that felt a little too carefully put together. She had always kept her true thoughts hidden behind an obvious fake smile.
Yet, listening to her now, he couldn't help but feel differently.
"You know, this whole time I thought that you weren't entirely being honest with us."
Meeting her silver gaze, he added,
"But just now, I feel like I really saw the real you."
**
After Azdin mentioned weaver, the mood on the table never quite went back to how it initially was. So when the church sermon ended and the tavern began to fill up once more they all departed one by one.
First it was Lotte as she was technically still on the clock. Although her boss was very lenient on how she used her time, when an influx of people began to show up she had to take off.
Immediately after, Hugo excused himself to settle some unresolved business. Being left alone with Myne, he was subject to her to unrelenting teasing so he left before his mind were to be corrupted for good.
'I didn't know she could become so.. boisterous once she got comfortable.'
While she joked at Hugo of being afraid of asking for her name, maybe she was scared of talking to them too back then.
Azdin felt like he understood her a little better now.
He smiled. But gradually, it turned bittersweet.
Aside from Hugo, he hadn't known them all that long. But he felt that they had all become particularly close friends.
And yet all four of them were going down different paths. Hugo would go chase his revenge against the ones who had destroyed his home, Lotte would return to her homeland, and Myne would go wherever the wind took her.
As for him, he had a long road ahead.
He didn't just want to walk down the path of ascension, he aimed to reach it's end too.
To become a true god, and put an end to war empire for good. As well as gain the answers he was looking for along the way.
"That is the life I've chosen to live."
Once upon a time, he believed that he'd change his name once he made it to civilization. But he had taken back that decision since then.
"The name Azdin will become the name of a hero. Even if no one knows it, I'll carry it till the end."