According to Alfred and the guards who had resurfaced with him, our tavern had been completely wiped out. As tragic as that was, the good news was that—at least in front of these NPCs who regarded me as a supreme being—I wouldn't have to deal with that perverted-looking uncle anymore.Another undeniable fact was that we were now stuck inside a pit nestled between a canyon that rose meters into the sky.
Lost in thought, Axziz paced back and forth inside his private room within the guild building when a knock came at the door.
He flinched.
Looking around, one could see that as a nerd nearing his forties, his room was nothing short of an anime fanatic's wet dream.
Panicking, he shouted, "Wait a moment!" and began smashing and tearing apart everything in the room. In the end, he cast a fire spell and burned it all until it was unrecognizable.
Finally, he brushed off his hands, straightened his posture, and called out to the door.
"Enter."
The smallest of the head servants appeared, trembling.
His name was Beta—a young, frail ice elf. Despite his feminine appearance, he was actually a male stuck in a state of crossdressing.
My friend, the so-called 'Orphanage Arsonist,' had a disturbingly twisted mind. The only reason we were friends was because he was an excellent battle maniac.
Lost in his thoughts, Axziz failed to notice that he was glaring at Beta far too harshly.
Beta approached Axziz's presence, shaking. In a barely audible whisper, he muttered:
"…s… so… me… th… i… ng…"
Axziz couldn't understand a word, but the mumbling snapped him out of his thoughts. He knelt down to the floor and spoke gently.
"Did we do something to scare you, little one?"
Beta avoided eye contact. The height difference between them was considerable, so Axziz used three fingers to gently hold Beta's cheek and turn his face toward him.
However, because Axziz was focusing too hard—like someone trying not to crush a fragile creature—a terrifying expression formed on his face. When Beta met his gaze, he burst into tears.
Two more servants entered from outside. They were Onix and Idefix.
Idefix was a wolf-girl with white fur and a dark complexion. Onix, on the other hand, was an insect with a feminine face. That face, however, was a decoy—her real head was located at her collarbone. Because of this, she wore more revealing clothes than the other servants.
While Idefix tried to calm Beta, Onix bowed at a perfect ninety-degree angle before Axziz and apologized.
"Please forgive us, my lord, for this unpleasantness."
Axziz felt his insides twist.
Oh shit… oh hell. What do I do now? I'm going to look like a brutal leader. I need to think—fast.
"Ahem… It's fine. I wouldn't take offense over something so trivial. Looking frightening was my fault."
Onix immediately replied,
"How could that be, my lord? By our standards, you are quite handsome."
Axziz's eyes sparkled.
"Oh? Really?"
All three servants nodded in unison.
Hearing that filled Axziz with unexpected joy. In his previous life, the last people to call him "handsome" were elderly grandparents—so old they wouldn't even let him kiss their hands for candy. Receiving compliments from beings that, while not fully female, closely resembled women felt like leveling up in life.
But then Axziz paused.
If Beta was crying, something must be wrong.
Once Beta managed to stop crying, he spoke.
"After I knocked, I heard bam, pow, puff sounds from inside. I thought something had happened to my lord. When I saw you were safe, I couldn't hold back my tears."
Axziz thought to himself:
Ah, Orphanage Arsonist… You love being a shoulder to cry on for emotional people. Whether your intentions are good or twisted, you're not seeing heaven.
The state of the room naturally caught the servants' attention. It was a mess—burned, destroyed, and in ruins. They looked at Axziz with questioning eyes.
Axziz made his decision.
I can never tell the truth in situations like this.
"Ahem… Since it looks like we're making a fresh start in a new place, I destroyed my old belongings. Think of it like… burning the ship after landing so there's no turning back."
A look of enlightenment spread across the servants' faces.
"Oooh…"
Axziz closed the topic.
"Anyway, let's get to the real matter. Why did you come, Beta?"
Beta sniffled.
"Sniff… My lord, Alfred is waiting for you in the throne room with a new report. There's some activity outside."
Axziz straightened up in surprise.
"Activity? Then I'll head to the throne room at once."
"As you command, my lord."
"No. You help Beta recover. Make sure he gets some rest."
"Thank you for your mercy, my lord."
—
As Axziz walked through the corridors toward the throne hall, the servants greeted him. Every time he turned a corner, people stopped their work and bowed deeply. Though he gestured for them to relax, he couldn't quite define the feeling this respect stirred within him.
When he entered the throne hall, he found the guards engaged in heated discussion. Upon noticing him, they immediately bowed.
"Don't strain yourselves saluting every time you see me."
He took his seat on the throne.
"Alfred. I hear you have a report for me."
Alfred stepped forward and knelt.
"Yes, my lord. Our scouts report that a group of humans has begun descending from the edge of the rift."
Axziz leaned forward, clasping his hands.
"Are they armed?"
"Some of them are, sir. There are also individuals in chains."
"Chains?"
"They are believed to be slaves. Likely used for scouting."
"Were our scouts captured?"
"No, sir. They also seem to have discovered the location of our guild gate."
Pluton stepped forward and requested permission to speak. Axziz nodded.
"If you wish, my lord, we can go out and decorate the garden with their blood—without letting them soil the guild."
This time Olga stepped forward.
"Capturing them and using them as food supplies would be more logical. We need to stock up."
The debate flared up.
Axziz muttered internally:
What the hell am I supposed to do with these people? One says kill them, the other says eat them. This isn't a game… it's all too real.
He made his decision.
"Silence!"
"Our plan is this: we remain hidden. I will connect the outer gate directly to this hall."
Objections rose, but Axziz continued.
"What matters isn't who they are—but what kind of beings they are. We will observe their behavior. We will gather information."
The guards realized they were facing an intelligent strategy and began whispering in admiration.
"Make your preparations. This will be our first contact in these new lands."
"As you command, my lord!"
With his hands still clasped before his face, Axziz thought:
Thanks to all the movies I've watched, I know exactly what to say in scenes like this. Being a hardcore content consumer finally paid off.