As I sat on my bed, my back resting against the headboard, I couldn't stop smiling.
No matter how hard I tried to suppress it, the grin kept creeping back onto my face like it had a mind of its own. My cheeks were starting to hurt, but I didn't care.
Keisha was so pretty.
Like—ridiculously pretty. 😩
Her face replayed in my head over and over again: the curve of her smile, the softness in her eyes, the way she spoke like she was both confident and shy at the same time. I rolled onto my side and buried my face into my pillow, letting out a muffled groan.
Get a grip, Octavia.
Earlier that evening, we'd set everything up for the party. Music, drinks, lights—everything was in place. The house slowly transformed from just another family home into something louder, brighter, and messier. Soon enough, people started showing up, filling the living room with chatter, laughter, and bass-heavy music that vibrated through the walls.
I didn't join them.
Instead, I stayed in my room.
I sat on my bed, window cracked open, smoking and waiting for Keisha to arrive. Every few minutes, I checked my phone, pretending I wasn't anxious. No new notifications. No missed calls.
An hour passed.
Still no sign of Keisha.
By then, I was already a bit high, my thoughts drifting slower, heavier. The excitement I'd felt earlier began to dull, replaced with that familiar ache of doubt.
Why did I think she would even come in the first place?
I sighed and rubbed my face, staring at the ceiling. Maybe she'd changed her mind. Maybe she'd realized coming to a stranger's party wasn't such a great idea after all. Maybe I'd read too much into everything—again.
Eventually, I dragged myself off the bed and went downstairs.
The house was alive.
People were laughing, dancing, shouting over the music. Someone spilled a drink and didn't even care. Someone else was already tipsy, swaying to a song that had no rhythm. Everyone seemed like they were having fun 🙂
And I felt… oddly disconnected.
I grabbed some alcohol, more smoke, and a plate of brownies from the kitchen. I didn't even think twice about it. If I was going to feel stupid, I might as well be high while doing it.
I took everything back to my room.
I'd just get high until I passed out.
Back on my bed, I set the brownies on my bedside table and took out my ashtray. My hands were a little clumsy as I tried to light my smoke, my thoughts still tangled up in disappointment.
Just as the flame flickered to life, I heard a knock on the door.
"Go away!" I shouted.
I didn't care who it was. I really didn't want to be disturbed.
The door opened anyway.
"Should I really go away?" a pleasantly familiar voice said.
My heart skipped.
"Keisha!" I blurted out, jumping to my feet so fast I nearly lost my balance.
She stood by the door, looking slightly amused, slightly nervous. "Sorry for just barging into your room like that," she said. "A girl downstairs told me I could find you here. Hope you don't mind?"
"No, not at all," I said quickly, stepping forward to usher her in. I literally couldn't stop smiling if my life depended on it.
She walked in and glanced around, taking everything in. "I'm sorry for coming late," she said as she sat down. "I had a hard time convincing my parents to let me come—especially since they don't really know you."
"It's fine," I said, meaning it with my whole chest. I was just happy she was here. That she'd actually come.
There was a brief silence, not awkward—just charged.
"Can I?" Keisha asked, reaching for the smoke I'd been trying to light earlier.
"Sure," I said, leaning closer to help her light it.
She took one long drag, held it for a second, then blew the smoke straight into my face before bursting into laughter.
I stared at her, stunned, then laughed too.
She had such a beautiful smile. The kind that made you forget what you were worried about five minutes ago.
She passed it to me, and I did the same—drag, hold, exhale. Soon enough, we were both laughing again, for no real reason at all.
By the time we were done smoking, we were already high.
We talked about random stuff—school, music, little embarrassing stories. Nothing deep, nothing heavy. Just giggling, interrupting each other, getting distracted mid-sentence.
She was a really cool person. Effortlessly so.
And that only made me want more.
I figured we could get higher 😩
As I tried to stand up to grab a brownie from the bedside table, Keisha suddenly pulled me back down by my shirt.
Before I could even process what was happening, she kissed me.
It was quick. Soft. Almost playful.
Then she pulled away, giggling and staggering slightly as she stood up. She grabbed the plate of brownies and plopped back down on the bed like nothing had happened.
I was frozen.
Completely.
She sat there, still laughing, brownie plate in hand, then looked at me. I hadn't even blinked.
"What?" she asked gaily.
"Nothing," I said quickly, heat rushing to my face.
Embarrassed.