"Those damn crows tried attacking you again?!"
Haru cringed at Tamamo's furious shout, though more towards her furious expression. It was the face of a predator that had just been slapped in the face in the most humiliating way. Hell, even her tail was bushed up and swinging around in fury.
"C-calm down, Tama-chan."
"Calm down?!" Tamamo grounded her teeth as she clenched a fist. "How can I?! I'm supposed to be your loving wife, and yet I wasn't there when those filthy crows tried to take your life! Worse, you were saved by that servant of the Gremory wench! This is a blemish to my reputation as the best wife in Japan!"
Best wife...? Haru pondered. How exactly did she come to that? Well, actually, she isn't wrong. She's got a killer body! Not to mention what she does to me... No, wait! Now isn't the time to perv!
"I-I'm fine, Tama-chan! I mean, look! Seriously! Besides, how were you supposed to know that a Fallen Angel was after me?"
"I didn't! That's the problem! I never should've left your side!" She screamed in aggravation. Her eyes grew teary. "I'm a failure as a wife!"
"N-No you're not! P-please calm down!" He tried his best to put the foxy girl at ease, though it seemed that Tamamo was still upset in spite of his assurances. He really didn't know how to handle these types of things. Then again, he had never been married and his interactions with girls outside his mother were pretty much zero. That and he's never encountered a girl so determined and so open about her desires. Well, aside from Kiryuu Aika, but he refused to believe that she could count. She was a demon. "C'mon, cheer up. Please?" Haru quietly begged once Tamamo's anger had vanished, leaving her only a pouting mess. "Seriously. It wasn't your fault. Besides, I'm alive, aren't I?"
"But I still should've been there! You never would've been threatened in the first place..." She pouted. "I'm a failure. Not only as a wife, but also as some Heroic Spirit..."
The redhead put on a face, wondering what a "Heroic Spirit" was before putting it out of his mind. There had to be a way to remedy this somehow, right? Haru put a knuckle to his temple, wondering how he could convince Tamamo when an idea came to mind. An idea that brought a blush to his face. Wait, why a blush? What was he, a school girl? This was nothing new. He's thought of doing this for years! Plus more! Yet the idea of actually going through with it, and with a girl who was willing to put up with his perversions and cross the line with him, somehow put him on edge.
C'mon, Haru! Prove your manhood! You're apparently already married now, so go through with it! Chibi-Haru shouted, waving the flag. Haru sucked in his breath, calming his head before nodding to himself.
"Tama-chan."
The girl looked up at him, half-expecting him to try and tell her it wasn't her fault he got attacked again, as any good husband would tell her. Instead, he did something that surprised her.
He kissed her, albeit chastely and lightly, on the lips.
It was a quick kiss. He didn't have the guts to go for a complete, long one. He was flustered enough as is.
Fortunately though, it did the trick.
As he pulled back, Tamamo looked positively dazed. As if she wasn't entirely sure what just happened. "I know you blame yourself for what happened, but dammit, would you please listen to me?" he asked as sternly as he could, slipping into the role of "husband". "I mean, I know I'm no good, but you have to stop beating yourself up. If not for yourself, then for me? Please?"
Tamamo was silent at first. Haru worried that maybe he screwed up with the kiss. Was it maybe too early for that? Then Tamamo surprised him when she cupped his face and pulled his face towards hers. Moments later, their lips mashed together and—
F-FRENCH?!
His mind short-circuited. But he felt the sensation of a tongue invading his mouth and playing with his. The feeling was surreal, not to mention mind-blowingly arousing. Still lip-locked, Tatamo pushed him to the sofa. Upon landing on his back, Tamamo deepened the kiss and wrapped her hands around his head, her tongue diving even further. Her leg also pressed into his groan, rubbing right against his already erect member. Steam was pouring out of Haru's ears, pupils spiraling around. He could feel Tamamo's bountiful mounds rubbing up against his chest. He could even feel how soft, yet firm they were beneath the thin layers of clothes between them!
Eventually, Tamamo broke the kiss, leaving behind a thin trail of saliva. Haru, for his part, was still slightly coherent yet left a miserable, unintelligable mess. "Wha-what...?"
"I didn't think you wanted to consummate our marriage so early, Haru-kun~" Tamamo purred, her personality a complete 180 as her tail flicked about. "But, if this is your way of cheering me up for my blunder, I humbly accept your offer. Now then, darling..." She licked her lips, leaning forward to the point their noses were touching. "... Shall I send you to heaven~?"
Haru's imagination was left to run wild. Aika's words from today were most certainly not helping matters. As his imagination run its course, imagining himself ravaging Tamamo to his hearts content and marking her, he could only do one thing.
And that was pass out with a massive nosebleed, goofy grin marring his face.
"E-Eh?! Again?!"
"... Fucking hell, marriage life is complicated..." Haru muttered to himself as he made his way to Kuoh Academy, hands in his pockets with a dazed expression on his face. "On the one hand, I've got a smokin' girlfriend back home waiting for me and offering to take my virginity. On the other hand, it's moving way too damn fast for me to keep up! Is-is this how a marriage starts? When did my life become some kind of eroge?"
"HARU!"
The redhead blinked, turning around just in time to see Motohama and Matsuda barreling down upon him, fists raised. "... Oh, crap."
"YOU FUCK!"
Haru's face, meet fist. Haru's body, meet concrete. He felt blinding pain soon after. It eventually subsided as he sat upright, glaring at his two glaring friends. "The fuck was that for, guys?!" He nursed his bruised cheek and nose.
"FOR DOUBLE-TIMING US!" Matsuda roared, tears falling from his cheeks. "THE FUCK, MAN?!"
"DOUBLE THAT!" Motohama snarled, grabbing Haru by the collar and pulling him up to his feet. That was surprising, to be honest. Who knew Motohama was that strong for a string bean? "WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU SCORE A BABE THAT HOT?! WHO IS SHE?!"
"Wh-what? You mean Yuuma-chan?" Haru questioned dumbly, referring to Tamamo's alias.
"WHO ELSE WOULD WE BE TALKING ABOUT YOU BASTARD?!"
"Where did she come from?! Where the hell did you even score a chick like that?!"
Haru could say so many things to that. Nearly being killed by his ex-girlfriend (did she even really count as an ex, though? Now that he thought about it, they never really actually confessed to dating, did they?) for starters. Instead, he felt a surge of pride swell in his chest, namely due to the fact that he got to experience things that he was definitely sure that neither Motohama or Matsuda had yet to experience. They slowly became unnerved when they saw the smug grin on his face as he pried Motohama's hands from his collar.
"... Boys." he said slowly as he reveled in their looks of disbelief and horror by his next words. "Have you ever felt what it's like to get Frenched?"