Jisoo's POV – After the Library
He didn't remember leaving.
Just remembered the sound of her voice — sharp, desperate, hurt.
Remembered her eyes wide and trembling like he'd slapped her.
He hadn't.
But maybe this was worse.
He took the long way home. No umbrella. The rain soaked through his hoodie like punishment. His ears were ringing.
"You don't get to shut me out after all of that—"
"Just drop it!"
He'd meant to protect her.
From himself.
From whatever was breaking loose inside him.
But now… now he'd done exactly what he always did.
Hurt people.
Pushed them.
Ruined things.
His apartment was empty.
Dark.
His brother was working late again.
Good.
He didn't want to be seen like this.
Didn't want anyone to hear the sound of his chest splitting open.
Jisoo threw his bag across the room, sank to the floor, and buried his head in his hands.
The silence in the apartment was thick.
Too loud.
Too sharp.
And then—
That pull.
That awful, familiar itching in his fists.
He stood slowly, fists clenched.
Trembling.
Walked to the bathroom mirror.
And stared at his reflection.
The boy looking back at him didn't even look real. His eyes were too red, his mouth was a straight line, and his breath came in shallow, stuttering gulps.
His knuckles flexed.
He whispered to himself—
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I ruin everything—"
Then he hit.
Hard.
A punch to his jaw.
Then his cheekbone.
His knuckles cracked against skin and bone like thunder. Again. And again. And again.
Each hit came with a sob.
Each sob came with silence.
Until he collapsed on the floor.
Bruised.
Bleeding.
Breathing.
And still not free.
He curled into himself, shaking, whispering apologies no one could hear.
Because this was how he coped.
Because pain — real pain — was the only thing he could control.
He must've passed out.
He woke up hours later, still on the floor.
Face swollen. Knuckles raw. Blood dried under his nose.
The apartment was cold now.
And quiet.
And in that silence, Jisoo whispered the only name his heart could reach for.
"Sera…"
But she wasn't there.
And maybe… after tonight,
she never would be.