Hana sat on her balcony, a warm cup of coffee in her hand. She watched how the leaves flowed with the breeze and the tiny bugs crawling in distinct directions. She could hear busy footsteps from a distance; some were in a rush, while others took their time. She felt the calm breath of the wind, whispering the secrets of the world to her.
"At this moment..." she whispered. "...I feel everything."
She quietly hugged herself, seeking warmth from her own cold embrace. Subconsciously, she touched her chest, as if checking if her heart was still there and beating.
"Life is indeed a pin in my heart," she thought. "It goes through smooth and unattended, and now it slowly kills me."
Then, a flashback of her conversation with her doctor, Dr. Gabriela, flashed before her.
"You've got two weeks left to live."
Hana chuckled bitterly. "Two weeks, huh? I'm running out of time. I've got to move faster now."
She went out of her house and started walking. As usual, the silhouette appeared behind her again, and Hana did not fail to notice.
"Hmm, I would really love to keep playing your childish games, but I have no time left."
They stopped at the playground. Hana turned around, deciding to confront Night.
"Alright, no more hide and seek. Show yourself."
Night finally showed up. Her expression was neither sad nor happy, nor was it blank.
"I see you do love chasing people," Hana said. "Now, what is it that you want? I can't have some random shadow following me on a leash all day."
"And you sure do love making people chase you," Night countered. "Hana, just sign the contract. I told you that—"
"And I already told you, no. Which part of it do you not understand?"
"Wait, can't you let me explain first?" Night pleaded. "I promise I'm not some sort of scammer or something. I'm here because I'll help you."
Hearing that made Hana chuckle in amusement. She mumbled, "You really need to finish reading that communication book of yours to your heart."
In a split second, she dropped her smile. "Help? How can you be so sure that I need help?"
Night had a lot to say, but no words seemed to come out voluntarily.
"Ahhh, I know. It's because you're aware of my situation," Hana continued. "Well, yes. I am dying, and it might seem like I need help. But I don't want it."
Night's eyes widened.
"Don't look at me like you are responsible for all of this," Hana said. "I don't even know you in the first place, so never look at me with sympathy in your eyes... and especially not at my corpse."
Wait, Hana... Night thought. If only you knew, I am indeed responsible for all of this.
"The case right now is not whether I believe in you or not, but to never offer a decaying doll a life, especially if she's not vindicated to have it," Hana said, her voice sounding like she was admiring a dream. "If my heart is failing, it doesn't mean that I'm also at the verge of having a failed life. In fact, it can actually be my way of salvation, a path preserved for me into the ethereal dream. Yes it's saddening that I'll perish soon, but it'll be more upsetting for me to manipulate the decision of nature, if it's for me then I'll gladly take iys blessing..."
Night looked at her as if she had just witnessed a nightmare. Hana's words struck her like a needle through the heart.
"Because death is nothing less than a gift," Hana added. "So don't dare try taking it away from me. That's the least you could do rather than signing a contract to be my guardian. Trust me, I'll be happier that way... my way."
Night was absolutely speechless. She had a stubborn demeanor, yet she couldn't seem to use it against Hana. Her morality felt like a piece of worn-out paper compared to Hana's.
What should I do now?
Hana noticed Night's uneasiness. "Hmm, but hey, I understand you're also doing this for your mission. You feel guilty for someone, right? You failed to save them, perhaps? That's why you're using this as your way of redemption? I can't say you're selfish for that, but when conscience enters your morality, it will never let you sleep. It will definitely drive you insane."
Night was absolutely shocked.
"Conscience is our mind's parasite," Hana said, leaning close to Night, catching her off guard. "We can't see it coming, but we'll surely know once it gets into us, slowly eating our sanity bit by bit. Until one day, you'll find yourself kneeling down, weak and helpless in front of a church altar, trying to pray those parasites away. They sure look cute when they do that, don't they?"
"Say, how about this," Hana suggested. "Aside from me, I know someone who also seeks redemption like you. Their biggest fear is death and they've done lots of deeds that make them a target day by day. They are the ones who need and want protection. I can recommend them to you if you want. In that way, you both get to have the redemption you desire."
Night snapped. Insulted and agitated, she had never felt so low in her lifetime as the Angel of Death.
"You... you don't get to decide!" Night yelled. "I'm not some performing clown that you can talk around, giving names of people you think deserve my protection! Let me highlight this for you so you clearly understand: I CAME HERE FOR YOU AND NO ONE ELSE! I DO NOT CARE IF YOU WANT MY PRESENCE OR NOT, BUT THAT WON'T BE ENOUGH TO PUSH ME AWAY!"
Night stepped closer. "I don't care if you know someone who's in trouble and their life is on the edge. They have their own lifeline, and you have yours. You can fantasize about death as much as you like, but don't expect it in your delusions. I won't disappear from your presence because from now on, I'll be the one who stays with you until your last breath. Not your neighbor, your friend, peers, nor your pets. Just me alone. Do you get that?"
Hana didn't speak. She was looking down, breathing heavily. This was when Night sensed something was wrong.
"Wait... sorry. That must've been too harsh. Hana, are you okay?"
Hana didn't respond. Her chest kept getting tighter and tighter. Pain enveloped her body and tears pooled in her eyes, making her vision blurry. She was crying through the pain.
"Hana! Hana! Stay with me!" Night panicked. "Come on, breathe! Breathe! You got this! Just relax your airways, okay? Please don't let go yet... I can't let you go easily... I'm not forgiven yet. Please, not today!"
Night was teary-eyed as she witnessed Hana's senses numbing and shutting down.
I... I can't breathe, Hana whispered under her breath. No, please, not today. I'm not done yet. I still have a lot more things to do. If I fail now, I won't be able to go to the ethereal dream...
...
Why does everything feel so cold now? Hana wondered. The air is dense... probably because there is no air here in the first place. It's dark and I can't breathe, but I don't feel like I need oxygen either. It almost seems like breathing is just an option here.
Where am I? Everything feels heavy. There's a faint light from above, but it's slowly disappearing. Something seems to be pulling me down. Are those dolls? They're all faceless, motionless, and lifeless like me. Am I dead? Is this... hell?
How odd. I thought hell would be a dome of never-ending molten lava and acid. I'm tired. I guess I should just sleep now.
"Hana, our sweetest baby doll... Hana, please live for us. Your mama and papa, okay? Your friends... save them. They need you right now. Don't leave yet."
Hana opened her eyes in shock. Those were the voices of her parents.
Those voices, why do I hear them? Are they here with me? Is it my fault they have to stay in this cold hell? If only I could have saved them back then...
"Hana!" a voice called. "HANA!"
Hana's thoughts were interrupted when she saw a silhouette in front of her. It was Night, trying to pull her out from the deep abyss. Then everything turned white—a bright light that enveloped her surroundings.
The next thing she knew, she was in a white room. The heavy scent of freshly dried blankets lingered in her nostrils. She took a glance at her side and saw Night. She wondered why she had expected Night to be the first person she saw.
Night sensed she was awake. "Hey... how are you feeling?"
Subconsciously, Hana's hands found their way to her chest. "Still beating, I guess."
"Good," Night offered a smile.
"What happened earlier?"
"Oh... well..."
"You collapsed to the ground," Night said. "You said you couldn't breathe, so I assume it was your failing heart. Luckily, someone came up and helped get you to the hospital."
[Flashback]
...
"Hana! Wake up!" Night had screamed.
"Excuse me? Sorry to intrude, but I sense something is not alright here," a voice said.
Night turned around. I can't just tell her I'm the Angel of Death and I'm trying to make this person survive, right?
"Ah, yes," Night had stuttered. "This mort—ah, friend just collapsed while we were talking. It happened so suddenly."
"I see. Please step aside. I'll take care of your friend here," the woman said.
"Wait, I don't—"
The woman offered a smile. "Don't worry. I'm a doctor. And this girl right here... Miss Hana... is my dear patient."
Dr. Gabriela checked Hana's pulse, then brought her ear close to Hana's nose and mouth. "Positive pulse, negative breathing. Miss, may I know what happened to her before she collapsed?"
"Uh, well, we were just talking and she just fell down."
"And do you remember anything that might possibly have triggered her emotions?" Dr. Gabriela asked.
"I-I'm not sure," Night replied. "I was just trying to tell her something important. Something that can save her life, even just for a short period of time."
Dr. Gabriela nodded. "I see. I'll tell you about it later. For now, we should take her to the hospital."
Without another word, Night carried Hana in her arms. "Where to?"
"I already have someone to pick us up. That white car over there," the doctor said. Night carried Hana with a tremendous strength born of urgency.
Later at the hospital, Night waited until Dr. Gabriela came out of the room.
"So, how is she?"
"Her vitals are now stabilized. All she needs right now is rest," Dr. Gabriela said, her words soft like a spring breeze.
"Ahh, thank you," Night said.
"By the way, my name is Dr. Gabriela."
"Hmm? Oh yeah, I know. You mentioned it earlier."
"Ah, yes," Gabriela laughed softly. "I just thought I wasn't able to formally introduce myself because of the urgency. But I hope you won't mind if I ask for your name."
"It's Night. Night Avione."
"Pleasure to meet you, Miss Night. But I must say, Hana rarely brings any friends. I even believed she had none, since she doesn't want to get attached because of her... case. So, I presume you are a rare card she pulled?"
"Oh, we just met a day before this," Night admitted.
"Nods. But you mentioned you were friends earlier? Perhaps I misheard it?"
"I did?" Night asked. "I guess I did. I mean, it's not a crime to have a friend as fast as one day, right?"
"Oh, of course! You are absolutely right. Forgive me for sounding rude regarding the relationship between you two."
"It's okay. I would think that way too if I were a stranger."
"Say," Dr. Gabriela leaned in, "you said you were trying to tell her something earlier. Would you mind telling me what it is?"
"It's nothing special, actually."
"I see."
A sudden silence fell. Night checked to see what was going on. Dr. Gabriela seemed deep in thought, looking anxious.
"What the...?" Night muttered to herself. Does she really think I did something to her?
Dr. Gabriela caught herself. "Oh! I'm sorry! I just thought of the possible things that might've triggered Hana's heart. Any extreme emotion can trigger it, you know. Her heart disease is getting worse. As her friend, I believe you deserve to know she only has a few days left to live. That is why she keeps pushing people away—she's afraid of attachment. She's afraid of leaving them and being forgotten."
Night was silent.
"So I was honestly surprised someone was there for her," the doctor continued. "At least there will be someone offering flowers to her grave once she's gone, aside from me. Thank you, Miss Night, for choosing to stay with her until her last breath."
"Don't worry," Night said firmly. "I don't plan on leaving her anytime soon. And I also won't let her leave anytime soon."
[End of Flashback]
Night watched the flowers comfortably laid in a water vase. "Such beauty," Night thought. "Yet it's saddening, knowing it won't survive overnight."
"That flower... I envy it," Hana said.
"Hmm?"
"It gets to live longer than me," Hana said with a bitter smile.
"Huh? That's not true," Night argued. "Flowers like this might live a prosperous life in a garden, but once placed in a limited container, they won't even survive a day."
Hana smiled. "You sure are 'Death.' People I know used to send flowers like that to me, telling me to live a prosperous life. Little did they know, their flowers kept withering under my embrace. I guess I'm just not good at extending someone's life. But from that day on, I learned alternative ways to preserve their beauty."
"How?"
"Are you familiar with Herbarium? It's the collection of dried plant specimens. After pressing it between layers of absorbent paper to remove moisture, you attach it to acid-free paper and label it. That final piece is a herbarium specimen."
"O-oh, that's quite a skill. You must really love plants."
"I don't," Hana said flatly.
"Hmm, sorry?"
"I just said I like preserving their original beauty, but that doesn't mean I love them. I just hate the idea that people give away something they have, which results in the thing being unloved and hated once it's no longer 'beautiful.' Giving flowers to someone you care for, but in exchange, you have to kill the flower from its stem? That just means your love is dead, cold, and senseless. What I do is just justification for their pain."
Night was quiet.
"But if there is something I love doing, it's Taxidermy," Hana continued. "The art of preparing the skin of a living thing over an artificial form to make it look lifelike. I remember doing that to my dog, Time, when he died at dawn one day. I remember how sad I was. But I have a passion for preserving beautiful things... so I did what he deserved best."
"You... turned him into a stuffed toy?" Night asked.
Hana chuckled at Night's clumsy response. "Hmm, more like preserved him. Death is such a cruel choice of words for innocent beings."
"That... that's weird," Night thought. "But her purpose is not weird at all, so I guess it's okay." Out loud, she asked, "Oh, by the way, about your dog. May I know how he died?"
Hana looked at her. "Hmm? Oh, well, you see..."
...
"I killed him."