Wide eyes and a flushed face.
I don't think I've ever seen that look on Kieran's face. She looked equal parts surprised and intrigued, which just boosted my ego. If that look is any indication, she might start seeing me the way I've always seen her.
I push the thought out of my head as I get a t-shirt from my cupboard. I wonder what she's doing here. Don't get me wrong, I love that she's here and that she seems to want to hang out with me, but she doesn't seem to be in a very good mood.
"Luca?" she says from my desk, her voice quiet.
I take a seat on my beed. "Yeah?"
"I'm going to ask you a question and I need you to be honest with me,"
"Okay,"
She turns around then, facing me. "If I hadn't figured out that Devon is cheating on Alexia, would you have told me?"
"I don't know,"
She nods, clearly not satisfied with my answer.
"Listen, I'm not okay with what Devon did. I don't condone cheating," I continue. "Alexia should break up with him, in my opinion, but no matter how I feel, I don't think it's my place to say anything. To you or to Alexia,"
She nods again.
"I'm glad you figured it out, though. I didn't want to have to lie to you,"
Her eyebrows rise. She's surprised that I'd have qualms about lying to her. Now if that's not the most fucked up thing to come from this conversation, I don't know what is.
She opens her mouth to say something, but the knock on my door stops her. With a sigh, I head to open the door, finding Aunt Maggie standing in the hallway.
"Breakfast is ready," she tells me. Her eyes move to Kieran. "Join us, please,"
"Uh, okay, Miss Caldwell,"
In the kitchen, I pull out a chair and gesture for Kieran to take a seat. She stares at it for a moment before moving, and I take the seat next to her. Aunt Maggie pushes a plate in front of each of us before taking a seat.
"Kieran, honey, I wanted to thank you for yesterday," she says.
"Yesterday?"
Aunt Maggie nods. "For standing up for Luke the way you did. No one's ever had the courage to speak to my brother that way and I want you to know how much it means to me that you did. It makes me incredibly happy knowing Luke has a friend like you,"
Kieran shake her head. "It was nothing,"
"It was something alright," I say, shooting her a smile. I turn to my aunt. "You told me he was trying. Did that seem like trying?"
She shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I wanted to believe that he was,"
"I knew he wasn't. You should have listened to me,"
"Yes, well, sometimes I like to think I know him a little better than you do,"
"Maybe you do, but you don't know the parts of him that I do,"
She nods. "I won't make that mistake again," she says. "Now, lets finish breakfast. I'm sure you guys have plans,"
We finish eating while Aunt Maggie talks about the Fourth of July celebration. The diner is catering some of the food and she's helping out with the planning and set up.
After breakfast, she heads up to her room to get ready for the day while I wash the dishes. Kieran offers to help, but I politely decline.
"What do you want to do today?" I ask while standing over the sink.
"I don't know. Anything,"
"What are you in the mood for?"
"Just a distraction,"
"The best place to get your mind off everything is Devon's,"
"Do you want to go there? Considering the fact that you're pissed at him,"
I lift a shoulder. "Well, that all depends on you. You want to unwind. I want you to, so whatever you want to do is what we'll do,"
She's quiet for a moment and then, "Okay, we'll go to Devon's. I can't promise I'll be nice to him, though,"
"I wouldn't ask you to,"
I put the dishes away and then I get our helmets and the bike from the garage while she says goodbye to my aunt. When I've pulled the bike onto the street, she comes out of the house.
Climbing off the bike, I hold out my hand to her. It takes her a little longer than usual to grab onto my hand and let me help her onto the bike, but I decide not to think too much of it.
With her arms wrapped around my torso and the side of her face resting on my back, my mind wanders to the same subject it always does when she's on the back of my bike. The wasted years.
That's what I like to call them; the years I spent pushing her away because of my own fears. Devon used to remind me how stupid I was for not just admitting that I'd started to see her differently, that I'd caught feelings for her, and instead choosing to push her away and make her think she meant nothing to me.
When I said that something had to change, I meant it. Kieran cannot go on thinking that she means no more to me than any of our other friends. If I could just show her exactly what she means to be while also gauging if she thinks or feels the same way, I'll be happy.
Music comes from Devon's backyard. There are no other cars in the driveway or the street, so I'm hoping he's alone. Kieran and I make our way through to the backyard with our helmets. She doesn't say a single word the entire time.
Devon is seated on a lawn chair in the backyard, his head tilted to the sky while music blasts from the speaker at his on the couch on the opposite side of the yard. A bottle of vodka sits at his feet and a glass rests between his thighs.
I walk over, knowing he has no idea anyone's here, and tap him on the shoulder. He damn near jumps out of his seat, his glass almost falling. Removing his sunglasses, he beams up at me before jumping to his feet and knocking over the glass.
"Luke," he exclaims, throwing his arms around me. "You're here,"
"Yeah,"
His head whips to Kieran. "You're here too," he shouts, moving toward her. "Man, it's good to see you. How long have you been here?"
She freezes as he wraps her in a hug, but doesn't say anything or push him away. "A week," she tells him.
"When's Lex coming?" he asks as he lets go of her.
Glaring at him, she says, "Like you care,"
"What?"
And before I get pulled into this fight, I make my way into the house through the back door. I pull a bottle of wine out of the liquor cabinet and place a hundred dollar bill in its place. Devon's mother wouldn't mind me taking anything from the cabinet, or really anything in the house, but I always replace what I took or leave cash for it to be replaced.
Grabbing two glasses from a different cabinet, I make my way back outside.
"You're an idiot," Kieran is saying to Devon.
"Yes, I know, but see, I don't think this is any of your business," he retorts.
"You cheating on my best friend isn't my business?"
"No, it isn't,"
"Yeah? How about I deck you to show you just how much it isn't my business?"
And because he knows she'd do it, he shuts up. He also knows she wouldn't miss and that it would hurt like hell. He is the one who taught her to throw a punch, after all. He shakes his head and takes a few steps back. I place the bottle and glasses on the floor by the other chairs in case I need to intervene.
"How do you even know about this?" Devon asks, his eyes moving to me. I shake my head.
"This town is small, Devon. People talk," she tells him, her voice raising. "Do you think the girl you cheated with didn't go around bragging about it?"
He shakes his head. "Still. None of your business," he says, putting extra emphasis on that last point.
She takes a step toward him. "If Alexia finds out from someone other than you," she says, moving even closer to him. Her tone lowers. "You're going to have me to deal with,"
He takes a step back, stumbling slightly. He looks to me for help, and I finally step in. Wrapping an arm around Kieran's waist, I lift her and move her a safe distance from him. Once she's seated, I turn back to Devon.
"Just…tell your girlfriend before someone else does,"
He rolls his eyes. "The two of you really need to focus on your own feelings instead of other people's affairs," he says.
"What are you even talking about?" Kieran asks him, irritated.
"Why don't you ask Luke?" he says with a stupid smile, moving toward the house. "I'm going to order food,"
"Remember that Kieran's vegetarian," I shout.
"I'll take that into consideration,"
I grab the bottle of wine and pour Kieran a glass. Her eyes burn holes in the side of my face and I fear her anger may now be directed at me. What for, I'm not entirely sure. It could be for stopping her from decking Devon, but I really have no idea.
Handing her glass to her, I meet her eyes. "What's wrong?"
"What did Devon mean? What was he talking about?" she asks me.
Turning away to grab the vodka and coke, I lift a shoulder. "Devon's drunk. I don't know what he was talking about,"
"Look at me,"
Oh, man. Placing the vodka on the table in front of us, I turn to her. I expect confusion when I meet her eyes, but what I get instead is irritation and a little anger. Okay, so maybe I lost the ability to read her in the two years we didn't speak.
"Yes," I say, giving her my full attention.
"What did Devon mean when he said we should focus on our own feelings?" she asks again. "And don't lie and say you don't know, because he said to ask you,"
I shake my head. "How about I answer that when I'm not as sober?"
Her turn to shake her head. "How about you answer it now?"
"Or how about I answer it when you're not as sober?"
"Kieran," I say with a sigh.
"Luca,"
Fuck Devon. Seriously. Why would he put me in a situation like this? He is basically forcing me to tell Kieran how I feel about her. I can't do that. At least not yet. Not when she's looking at me like she wants to deck me too. Not when my head is fucking reeling and I need a drink to simply calm it down.
When I tell her how I feel, I don't want it to be because Devon's idiocy drove me to do so. I don't want it to be when we're both stressed out and pissed off at the world. I don't want it to be in the heat of the moment, especially not when she might still be mad at me for basically ghosting her for two years.
"Uh, I'm sure he was talking about the fact that you just lost your parents and I'm still reeling from my dad's news,"
She narrows her eyes. "You said you didn't tell him about that,"
Fuck. Averting my gaze, I fix myself a drink before turning back to her. When I do, her glass is empty and she's holding it out to me to refill. Okay, so maybe Devon and I aren't the only people who pissed her off today.
"Whoa," I say as I fill up her glass.
"In about two minutes, I'll be less sober, and you can answer the question,"
"Why are you so adamant today?"
She sighs as I hand her glass back to her. "Apparently, no one's being honest about what they think," she tells me. "Can you just tell me the truth, please? You said you don't want to lie to me. Well, omitting the truth is worse than lying,"
I shake my head. "Come on, Kieran, you know I've never lied to you,"
"Yeah? So don't start now,"
I open my mouth to further my argument which, if we're being honest, has been pretty crappy, but Devon stops me.
"Heyo," he shouts, making his way back outside. "So, I got a pepperoni pizza and one with absolutely no meat on it,"
"Thanks,"
He grins at me. "What's with the tension?"
"You mean the tension you caused with your stupidity?" I ask, taking a big sip from my glass.
The asshole laughs. "Well, you're airing out my business, why can't I do the same?"
Jesus. "Devon, shut up, for the love of God," I say, my voice raising. "I didn't tell her shit. She figured it out. You're the asshole cheating on his girlfriend,"
He lifts his hand. "Hey now, let's not fight. You're here and that's all that matters," he says, smiling like an idiot. "What's the point in fighting anyway?"
Plopping himself back into his chair, he grabs his glass from the floor and refills it. He winks at me as he sets the coke back onto the table.
"Well, someone's thirsty," he says, looking at Kieran.
I turn back to her to see her glass empty yet again. Someone seriously pissed her off. She was trying to get me to stop drinking as much as I do mere days back and now she's rivalling me. I'm still on my first glass and she's moving onto her third.
"Kieran? You okay?"
She nods, leaning back into the couch. "Your arguing is irritating me,"
"That's my bad," Devon says. "How about some dance music?"
"You can't dance," Kieran reminds him.
"Yeah, but you can," he says. "Are you drunk enough that you'd wanna let loose?"
"Not with you, no,"
"How about with Luke then?"
Her eyes move between the two of us, and I stare into my glass. "What's that about?"
"What?"
"These comments you keep making,"
He shrugs. "Well–"
"Devon, shut up," I warn.
This is annoying. Devon is seriously starting to piss me off. I am choosing not to do anything because he's clearly drunk. Kieran is getting drunker by the minute and it doesn't look like she has any plan of stopping any time soon.
I honestly don't know what's going on. It seems as though we're all stuck in our own heads, in our own problems. Maybe being around each other like this wasn't the best idea. Maybe Kieran and I should've just hung out at home. Although, she didn't seem to want to be near home.
Devon lowers the volume of the music. "Hey, Kieran?" he says.
"Yes?" she says, shifting on the couch and straightening her skirt as she does.
"What do you think of Jared?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you find him attractive?"
Her brow furrows and she shakes her head. "No,"
"Really? You don't think he's cute?"
"No,"
"Hmm,"
"Why are you asking me about Jared?" she asks, her words slurring slightly.
"Just making conversation,"
She lifts a shoulder, taking a sip of her drink.
"Hey, did you know that Luke hasn't dated anyone?"
Her eyes widen in my direction. "Ever?"
I glare at Devon. "Shut up,"
"Wait," she says, turning her entire body to face me. "You've never been in a relationship?"
I shake my head. "Kieran, you've known me since I was eight,"
"Yeah, but there were two years we didn't speak. You didn't date during that time?"
I shake my head.
"Why not?"
"Well," Devon starts. "His heart has always belonged to another," he says with a laugh.
"Who?" Kieran asks, grinning at me. "And why would you never tell me about this,"
"Devon's lying, Kieran,"
Her smile disappearing, she takes another sip from her glass. "So then why haven't you dated?"
"I don't know,"
She chuckles. "Don't tell me you're afraid of girls,"
"No,"
"What then?"
"I just don't want to,"
"You don't want to date anyone?" she asks.
"Nope,"
She's quiet for a moment. "So, if a girl asked you out, you'd say no?"
"Probably,"
A smile spreads across her face. Cocking her head, she asks, "What about me?"
My head whips up, my eyes meeting hers. She's smiling at me, waiting for an answer. Her eyes are small and a little red, a face flushed. She's drunk. Three glasses of red wine would do that to you. And it's the only reason she voiced the question that just came out of her mouth.
"Oh shit," Devon says, laughing.
"I'm not playing this game anymore," I say, throwing back the rest of my drink and moving to fix a new one.
Kieran puts her hand on my arm. "Oh, come on, Luca, do you really not have an answer?"
I shake my head. "No, I don't,"
"I find that hard to believe," Devon says. "Kieran, since you're the one being bold today, how about you answer a few questions,"
Rolling her eyes, she lets go of my arm and sits back, turning her attention to Devon. "Okay," she says with a smile.
"How many relationships have you been in?"
"Three,"
"Any serious?"
"Nope,"
"Okay. How many guys in this town?"
"None,"
"How come?"
"They've never asked," she says, lifting a shoulder.
Devon looks to me. "Hmm, I wonder why," he muses. I glare at him and he chuckles and turns back to Kieran. "So, if they were to ask, would you say yes?"
I look over at her, waiting for the answer. She takes an eternity, choosing to first finish her drink and pour herself a new one.
"Perhaps,"
"And what if it was me?" I ask, leaning back in my seat.
Her eyes drift to mine and her smile wavers. She cocks her head, scans my features. "Well, you're pretty to look at, so I guess I'd let you take me out," she says, lifting a shoulder.
Yeah, she's way past drunk.
Devon starts laughing and doesn't stop until he nearly out of his chair. This has to be the least funny thing to happen in a long time. We're all drunk and most of what has been said here today is going to be disregarded tomorrow, so there's no use in taking any of it seriously.
Were Kieran sober and sound of mind, I would be over the moon that those words just came from her mouth. However, she's swaying in her seat and slurring her words. I'm going to ignore what she said and we'll try again tomorrow. If she can tell me those same exact words with a sober mind, I'll take them seriously.
Devon's phone pings through the speaker. "That's the food," he says, hopping out of his chair and making his way into the house.
"What? Was my answer not up to par with what you were expecting?" Kieran asks me.
I shake my head. "It wasn't what I was expecting at all,"
"In a good way or a bad way?"
"I'm not sure yet,"
She shifts on the couch, leaning closer. "You know, Luca, just because I'm drunk, it doesn't mean I don't know what I'm saying," she says, her face dangerously close to mine.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah,"
"You sure about that, Kieran?"
She nods. "Yes, Luca, I'm sure,"
Setting my glass down, I bring a hand up to cup the side of her face. It catches her off guard and her breath hitches, bringing me the most amusement I've gotten the entire time we've been here. Pulling her toward me, our faces are inches apart.
"Still sure?" I ask, my tone hushed.
She sucks in a breath, her eyes moving to my lips. She nods. "Yes,"
I nod, fighting the intensely strong urge to kiss her, but pulling away from her. "Tell me again when you're sober,"
As she falls back onto the couch, she starts laughing. "I didn't take you for a tease, Luca,"
Good lord.