Chapter 49: The Invisible Jade Beauty and the Author's Crimes
[A/N: I have been accused by my girlfriend of "narrative negligence." She sat me down, gave me a cup of tea, and then slapped me with a fan, Chinese drama style, because I forgot Toru Hagakure for two chapters. So, this chapter is a formal apology. We're going full Manhua—excessive descriptions, "Jade Beauties," and enough "Mount Tai" references to make a geologist cry. Turn off your logic; the brain-rot is at 100%.]
(Sunny Midoriya POV)
I stood in the center of Mei Hatsume's lab, my yellow suit glowing with the intensity of a thousand auspicious suns. I didn't just stand; I posed with the weight of five thousand years of suppressed drama.
"Alas!" I wailed, throwing a white-gloved hand over my eyes. "The heavens are cruel! The most emerald, invisible, and fragrant flower of Class 1-A has been cast into the cold abyss of 'Off-Screen Status'! The Author has no eyes! He has looked upon Mount Tai and thought it was a molehill!"
"Sunny, you're getting ink on my blueprints," Mei chirped, not looking up from a mechanical kraken she was building.
"Silence, Gadget-Disciple!" I pulled a giant, ancient-looking scroll out of my ear. [UNROLL!] "Behold! The Script of Injustice! Look at what the Author did to Toru-chan during the USJ arc!"
The class crowded around. On the scroll, Toru Hagakure wasn't even drawn. She was just a giant, floating black bar labeled [CENSORED BARE]. And in the aftermath scenes, there was a little [MUTE] icon hovering over where her mouth should be.
(Izuku Midoriya POV)
I stared at the scroll. It was... heartbreaking. Toru-chan was waving her invisible hands frantically in the background of the drawing, her text bubbles filled with gibberish and "ERROR 404."
"This is a profound grievance," I muttered, my hand moving in my notebook with the speed of a Divine Cultivator. "To be erased from the narrative is the ultimate 'Trash Tier' fate. We must restore her Dao!"
"IT'S AN INSULT TO MY EXPLOSIVE RADIANCE!" Bakugo roared, though he was currently standing in a 'Cool Rival' pose against a pile of scrap metal. "IF SHE'S IN MY CLASS, SHE BETTER BE RATED R FOR RADIANT, NOT CENSORED!"
"Truly, the Author is courting death," Tokoyami added, Dark Shadow nodding while wearing a traditional Chinese scholar's hat.
(Sunny Midoriya POV)
"Mina! Mei! To me!" I shouted. "And Momo-chan, bring your 'Young Mistress' energy! We are going on a kidnapping spree! For justice!"
Momo Yaoyorozu stepped forward, her eyes glinting with the cold light of a trillion-yen inheritance. "If it is a matter of status and luxury, then the Yaoyorozu name shall provide. Alfred! Bring the long car! The really long car!"
[FLASHBACK: Two Hours Ago]
(Momo Yaoyorozu POV)
I sat on the left side of the limousine—a vehicle so long it required its own zip code. On my left sat Sunny, looking like a pint-sized Mafia Don, and Himiko, who was sharpening a needle with a terrifyingly polite smile.
Across from us sat Mina, Mei, and Jirou. Jirou looked like she wanted to phase out of reality.
"I'm only here because Sunny promised me a legendary bass guitar made of dragon bone," Jirou muttered, crossing her arms like a boss of a rival triad. "But this is officially the most 'bullshit drama' thing we've ever done."
"Hush, Earbuds!" Mina grinned, wearing dark sunglasses inside the car. "We are the Jade Beauty Council! We are about to change the fate of this world!"
Suddenly, on the sidewalk, we saw her. Or rather, we saw a pair of school shoes walking sadly toward a train station.
"TARGET ACQUIRED!" Sunny yelled.
[AHOOO-GA!] The car didn't just stop; it folded itself like an accordion with a loud [B-BOING!]. The door flew open, and a giant cartoon vacuum cleaner emerged, sucking Toru Hagakure into the plush interior.
[ZOOP!]
(Mei Hatsume POV)
"Welcome, Invisible Disciple, to the SECRET SECRET LABORATORY!" I announced as the car drove into Sunny's tuxedo pocket.
Don't ask how. The physics were crying. We traveled through a room filled with Megalodon sharks wearing monocles, then got sucked through a literal Black Hole in the center of a giant donut.
"To enter," Sunny commanded, "you must perform the Sacred Ritual!"
We all stood in front of the final blast door and began to wiggle our hips, singing the Crayon Shin-chan 'Elephant' song in perfect, high-pitched harmony.
[CLACK-BOOM!] The door opened.
"Toru-chan," Mina said, holding up a glowing green vial that smelled like a fertilizer factory and a hair salon. "Drink this 'Divine Hair-Growth Essence of the Nine Heavens.' It was a gift from a hermit Sunny met in a dream."
"I... I don't have a choice, do I?" Toru's voice wavered.
"NONE!" we all shouted.
[GLUG-GLUG-GLUG]
[END FLASHBACK]
(Aqua POV)
"IT'S NOT FAIR!" I wailed, kicking my feet against the floor of the lab. "Sunny! Why didn't you take me? I am the Goddess of Hydration! I could have blessed the kidnapping! I could have been the one to wear the cool sunglasses!"
"Puddles, you were busy trying to sell 'Holy Air' to the school's air conditioning unit," Sunny chirped, checking his golden pocket watch. "But don't worry! The transformation is complete! Class! To the Secret Secret Lab!"
(Izuku Midoriya POV)
We followed Sunny through the tuxedo-pocket-shark-black-hole-singing-gate. When we finally reached the inner sanctum, my jaw didn't just drop; it hit the floor with a [CLANG!] that echoed for miles.
The lab was gone. It was just... hair.
A literal ocean of silken, glowing, silver-white hair covered every inch of the room. It was piled up in corners, hanging from the ceiling like vines, and flowing out of the vents.
"Is... is she under there?" I stammered.
"BEGIN THE HARVEST!" Sunny yelled, pulling out a pair of giant golden garden shears.
(Jirou POV)
It took an hour. We were basically excavating a human being out of a mountain of fleece. Mei was already running the excess hair through a loom, screaming about "Organic Smart-Fiber Babies!"
Sunny was using a high-speed blow-dryer that looked like a jet engine, and Mina was applying enough glitter-oil to coat a small moon.
"Stay still, Toru!" Sunny yelled over the roar of the dryer. "I'm fixing your 'Character Model'! I'm giving you the 'Main Heroine' DLC!"
(Kaminari POV)
The hair started to part. The glitter settled. The "Jade Beauty" glow began to emanate from the center of the room.
I felt my soul leaving my body.
Toru Hagakure was no longer invisible. She was standing there, wrapped in a robe made of her own shimmering, woven hair (thanks, Mei).
Her skin was like white jade. Her eyes were like deep, mysterious pools of starlight. Her hair flowed around her like a divine mist. She looked like she had just descended from the Immortal Realm to tell us we were all "trash" for not noticing her sooner.
"Holy... mother of... sparks..." I croaked. My jaw hit the floor so hard it cracked the tiles.
[CRACK!]
(Jirou POV)
I saw Kaminari's face. He looked like he'd been hit by his own 1.3 million volts of pure 'Simp Energy.'
"Shut up, Sparky," I muttered, but my own jacks were trembling. I took one of my earphone jacks and pinned his ear to the floor just to keep him from floating away like a balloon.
(Bakugo POV)
I stared. I didn't want to. I tried to look away. But the sheer... narrative weight of her presence was like a physical punch to the gut.
"Tsk," I clicked my tongue, my jaw dropping roughly three inches—a record for me. "She's... she's not 'Censored' anymore. She's... loud. Visually loud."
(Sunny Midoriya POV)
I stood back, wiping a single, manly tear from my white glove.
"Look at her!" I cheered. "The Jade Beauty of UA! The Invisible Empress! The Author can't mute her now! She has a higher poly-count than the rest of the class combined!"
Toru looked at her hands—real, visible hands—and then looked at the camera. She didn't say anything. she just did a slow, elegant hair-flip that created a localized glitter-storm.
(The Author POV)
I sat at my desk, my fingers frozen over the keyboard. My jaw had literally detached from my skull.
"Wait," I whispered to the empty room. "I didn't... I didn't design her to look that good. I don't even have the budget for this many shading lines! Sunny! What have you done to my character sheets?!"
Sunny looked directly out of the screen, his eyes turning into two golden coins.
"The script is ours now, Old Man!" he chirped. "And next time you forget a student, I'm turning your coffee into liquid marshmallow!"
[CLACK!]
[AND CUT!]