Second Case / Operation / Infiltration into the Minds of the Audience.
Fuck, why's it so tight?! Always pick latex. It's the foundation of any project that wants to change you as a person. Thermal underwear glued with rubber — that's not a mask I wanna wear as my permanent look.
Right now I was, of course, hidden in my usual ambush.
Only my head poked out of the water while the rest of me disappeared into the bottomless depths of Loch Ness. Truth be told, I was a little freaked, even though I knew there wasn't any Paleozoic nastiness down there. Still, my nasty subconscious was giving my body an itch and making it tremble with fear. In my head a picture kept finishing itself — some unknown creature ripping off my ass and… let's hope that's where its menu ends.
I'll just get new ones — silicone.
Okay, quick briefing for our future viewer.
Your not-at-all-submissive, definitely-not-a-servant narrator is currently stationed in shallow water in a gaudy amphibian-suit that the dexterous Adelgunda sewed for me. The eyes are huge — parallelepipeds. The head's split down the middle, like it's falling into two halves, while the arms are still just normal arms. Nobody's gonna scrutinize them anyway.
The point isn't them, nor even the fins on my feet!
Straight out of my belly hangs a loooong tail. Totally plausible to belong to some reptile, if I'd borrowed it from one. I'll use it when the time comes. It's the gimmick of this design — the one I showed Ada in a sketch — and the craftswoman nailed it.
Here's the setup:
Hotels ring the lake, full of curious gawkers itching to see a monster. We checked into one and pre-cleared whether any film crews or science bigwigs were lounging there — anyone who could blow our cover fast.
Lucky for us — none.
So our operator was already tucked away with his baby, ready to shoot the next scene. Adelgunda scooped up a handful of pebbles she'd soon start throwing at the windows.
And… oh, how cozy inside feels!
The sense of danger and the rock-and-roll energy of the gig only hyped me more. Fear stepped back. I felt like grabbing a fistful of gravel and chucking it at the glass myself. Shame nature didn't bless me with the hands of some random gym bro selling courses on how to shake your abs using buckwheat and a sleepy puppy's breathing.
— Odile, one-two.
— The mic is part of my mouth, and the headphones are my channel to any world, — he said.
— Consider yourself briefed. Ada, you ready to wreak some havoc, maestro?
— I checked the stones' weight, so I'll direct their kinetic energy so the glass doesn't shatter… — Adelgunda announced cheerfully.
— Why didn't you help me at university? Never mind — don't answer, you'd waste all your kinetic energy on that. — I gamed up my bravado, because it was about to go down…
The first projectile flew right and hit the facade.
— Aim a little left, — I advised.
The second hit dead center of a window — no crack left. Third and fourth pinged other rooms' windows. Three rooms is plenty. Especially since we knew they were occupied.
And then, as fate loves to mess with us, two rooms stayed dark, while the one that was lit made a sound — the latch opening. Weak effect, but it's something…
A pissed, drunk mug stuck its head out, propped by a slightly soberer friend behind him. The latter kept the first from faceplanting over the railing.
— Hey, who's shooting a shotgun out there? I got a grenade launcher.
— You don't have shit.
The first guy protested:
— At least I got whiskey!
— Point scored, bro.
Time to come out while they still hold the image in their heads.
Dark, sticky waters circled my slowly emerging body.
By design I'm a representative of an underwater civilization that's claimed these parts. I got here via a network of subaquatic caves that lead to other bodies of water (I wasn't 100% sure, but it'll do for the legend).
My people aren't very techy — otherwise we'd need blasters instead of throwing pebbles. And besides, getting people to believe in a primitive ichthyander is easier than in some cybernetic evil machine.
I surfaced into a decent moonbeam spotlight, planted my hands on my hips, and let them enjoy the view.
— Oh, look! A costume dummy out there! Let's go join him?
— Nah, bro, you won't reach him.
— I'll crawl there!
What kind of reaction is that?! I was born from the waters of the World Ocean, not some miserable cartoon mascot! To make it more convincing, I grabbed my tail — the one sticking out of my belly — and started spinning it in loops. Every now and then I even bent forward, whipping the sandy shore with it.
— Oh, look! He's got a whip too. The party's gonna be wild. Nope, I'm out.
— Out where?! Through the window?!
— Let go of me!
While the two witnesses of the First Contact with my species wrestled by the window, another one creaked open and the air filled with the shrill voice of an old woman:
— Behave, kids! Enough fooling around, it's the middle of the night! And you, little boy, stop playing in the sand and go back to the hotel. Where are your parents?
I stomped my foot — genuinely offended. Again! Mistaken for the wrong damn creature! Seriously?!
In my earpiece came Ada's quiet giggle and Odile's commentary:
— Humanity is still not ready to meet a mind this alien.