Chapter 14: I Pilot Unit-01
The heavy alloy gate closed behind him, cutting off the suffocating oppression and red glow within Unit-01's hangar.
Shinji stepped onto the path to "freedom," yet the anticipated relief never came. Instead, an even heavier guilt, like blocks of lead, weighed down upon his heart.
He knew.
If he didn't pilot Unit-01, the burden of death would fall upon that blue-haired girl who had just been forcibly dragged from her sickbed—wrapped in bandages, frail as a candle flickering in the wind—Rei Ayanami.
The girl who, in a certain sense, carried fragments of his mother's existence within her.
An intense, nearly suffocating guilt seized him.
Perhaps it was the adult sense of responsibility brought by his transmigrator's soul, or perhaps it was the damned "chivalry" forced out by this cruel world—he couldn't accept letting a girl bear unknown terror and suffering in his place.
"Shinji! Wait for me! I'll see you out..." A familiar, slightly urgent voice called from behind.
Shinji paused mid-step and turned back in surprise.
He saw Misato quickly catching up. Her gait seemed slightly unnatural, especially when putting weight on her left ankle, which made her subtly wince.
Shinji immediately recalled her astonishing aerial spinning kick earlier—kicking away the heavy metal lampshade had been incredibly cool, but clearly taken its physical toll.
"Ms. Katsuragi?"
Shinji looked at the slightly breathless Misato standing before him and asked puzzledly, "Shouldn't you be commanding the operation?"
During this critical moment of Angel invasion with headquarters on the verge of collapse, the consequences of her abandoning her post as operations director were unthinkable.
Misato adjusted her breathing, forcing a relaxed smile:
"I was the one who personally brought you here, so of course I need to make sure you return safely and completely. And..."
She glanced toward the hangar direction, her tone carrying complex emotions, "With your father commanding on site and Ritsuko handling technical control, it's temporarily... manageable without me."
She paused, softening her voice further: "I've already arranged a plane for you. There's a dedicated emergency evacuation airfield southwest of the underground city. A UN forces transport will safely take you back home..."
"Home..."
Shinji chewed on the word, his lips twisting into an extremely bitter curve. He silently lowered his head.
Home?
That cold, unwelcoming place where he'd always felt like an outsider? That place that never gave him any warmth?
Or that long-faded memory of a "home" where his mother existed? Where did he even have a home?
Seeing the bottomless gloom in the boy's eyes, Misato's heart ached, realizing she'd said the wrong thing.
Pressing her lips together, she said nothing more, simply gesturing for Shinji to follow: "Let's go, there's a special passage this way. It's faster."
This time they seemed to take an internal fast-track route, avoiding main thoroughfares and crowds.
Soon they reached where the "battle-damaged" Renault was parked earlier. Misato started the engine, the battered car emitting even more painful groans, but eventually moving forward.
The car entered the main artery of the underground city.
The scene outside the car window instantly laid bare the brutality of war and the insignificance of humanity before Shinji's eyes.
No longer the grand, cold steel jungle, but ruins and wails straight out of hell!
The piercing sirens of ambulances rose and fell, one after another, like white phantoms weaving through the billowing smoke and dust. The vehicles were packed with moaning casualties—soldiers in uniform, covered in blood, but even more were terrified, helpless civilians coated in grime and gore.
On the stretchers, mangled limbs and charred wounds were a horrifying sight.
On both sides of the road, massive structures had collapsed from earlier bombings, twisted steel reinforcements jutting toward the sky like the claws of monsters.
From within a pile of rubble, a mud-caked hand stretched out weakly through a crevice, fingers slightly curled, as if silently pleading for help.
Not far away, a little girl with a dirt-streaked face and tattered clothes sat dazedly beside a pile of broken teddy bears, crying out with all her heart toward the direction of what used to be her "home":
"Dad—! Mom—! Where are you—!"
That desperate cry was like a rusty saw, viciously cutting through Shinji's nerves.
That small figure, that helpless wailing, instantly overlapped with the memory of himself waiting in an empty, cold home for his father's return!
Shinji's heart felt as if gripped tightly by an invisible hand! He abruptly lowered his head, burying his face deep in the crook of his arm, his body trembling uncontrollably.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the hellish sights and sounds, but those images were seared into his mind like brands.
After what felt like an eternity, the vehicle finally left that living hell behind and picked up speed.
When Shinji looked up again, the massive dome structure at the edge of the Underground City came into view outside the window, along with a small airport illuminated as bright as day by searchlights.
A military transport plane painted with UN markings sat quietly on the runway, its engines already running, emitting a low rumble.
"We're here, Shinji-kun." Misato's voice carried a hint of barely perceptible exhaustion and gravity.
Shinji looked out the window, but his gaze was firmly captured by a sight further beyond the airport!
There, the massive, eerie green form of the Third Angel, Sachiel, loomed like a demon god breaking through the gates of hell at the edge of the Underground City! Its enormous feet crushed the outer defenses as it advanced toward the core area!
And in front of the Angel, a purple, stumbling figure was struggling to confront the invincible monster!
It was Unit-01!
No, to be precise, it was Unit-01 piloted by Rei Ayanami!
Its gait was extremely bizarre, swaying unsteadily like a drunkard or a toddler just learning to walk, full of incoordination and weakness.
It lunged forward abruptly, throwing its entire weight against Sachiel with all its might!
"BOOM!"
A tremendous impact sound echoed! Caught off guard, Sachiel's massive body was forced back several steps!
However, this trivial resistance instantly enraged the Angel! It let out a sharp shriek, its massive foot stomped hard on the ground, and with unbelievable agility, it leaped into the air, instantly maneuvering behind the clumsy Unit-01! Its gill-like arms shot out, firmly seizing Unit-01's right arm!
SCREECH—!
A grating sound of twisting metal echoed!
Immediately after, Sachiel unleashed terrifying strength, swinging the massive Unit-01 like a ragged sack and hurling it violently into the distance!
BOOM—!!!
Unit-01 crashed heavily into a building, its entire frame deeply embedded in the structure! Dust billowed everywhere! It tried to push itself up with its hands, but its arms trembled violently, and after several futile attempts, they finally went limp, leaving the Evangelion collapsed in the rubble.
Its posture was filled with despair and helplessness.
"Damn it!"
Misato in the driver's seat slammed her fist on the steering wheel, her face pale.
"Rei's physical burden is too heavy! She can't handle it!" She stared at the collapsed, defenseless purple giant, her eyes filled with anxiety.
Just then, the car's communicator automatically activated, and the cold, urgent voice from the command channel at headquarters came through the speaker:
"Pilot's vital signs abnormal! Pulse continuously dropping! Blood pressure critically low! Neural synchronization rate has fallen to 5%! Chest suture site... severely torn! Heavy bleeding! Re—"
Accompanying the report was the faint, heartbreaking sound of a girl's painful moans in the background.
The sound was intermittent, filled with unbearable agony.
"Rei!" Misato cried out, her heart feeling as if it were being squeezed!
She grabbed the communicator and shouted hoarsely into the microphone, "Suspend the operation! Suspend it immediately! Prioritize recovery via Route 192! The primary mission is to rescue the pilot! I repeat, prioritize rescuing the pilot!" Her voice trembled slightly from agitation and worry.
Setting down the communicator, her gaze swept over the apocalyptic scene of the underground city outside the window, watching the advancing Angel and the fallen Unit-01 in the distance. A flicker of resolute pain crossed her eyes.
She took a deep breath, picked up the communicator again, and her voice turned cold and firm:
"Request... authorization to use an N² Mine! Target: the Third Angel, Sachiel! Delay its movements to buy time for the recovery operation! Coordinates..."
There was a brief silence on the other end before a response came:
"Request received. Commander Ikari has approved the N² operation order. Detonation time set for ten minutes from now. Captain Katsuragi, immediately escort the Third Child to Shelter 82 to avoid the blast!"
Ten minutes... an N² Mine...
Misato's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, her knuckles turning white from the force. She knew what this meant. In ten minutes, this place would be reduced to scorched earth once again.
At this desperate, suffocating moment—
A cold, slightly trembling hand gently but firmly covered Misato's own on the steering wheel.
Misato shuddered and turned sharply to look at the passenger seat.
Shinji had lifted his head at some point.
His face was still pale, but the confusion, resistance, and pain in his eyes seemed to have been replaced by something deeper.
It was a serenity born of resignation, a desperate resolve to burn all bridges, and... a trace of relief.
He looked into Misato's eyes, which were filled with shock and concern, and his voice, though not loud, cut clearly through the roar of the engine and the distant explosions with a tone of finality:
"Miss Katsuragi... please take me to Unit-01."
He paused, the corner of his mouth even managing to form an extremely faint, almost imperceptible curve:
"...I'll pilot it."
The moment he spoke those words, Shinji felt an unexpected, strange sense of lightness, as if a heavy stone that had been pressing on his heart and suffocating him had finally been lifted.
So, acknowledging and accepting this damned fate could also be a form of liberation.
"Shinji, you..." Misato looked at the profound weight beneath the calm in the boy's eyes, and her heart ached as if pricked by needles.
She understood what this decision meant.
It wasn't just about going into battle; it was about embracing a fate arranged by his father, one filled with pain and uncertainty.
She couldn't bear it.
Shinji noticed Misato's hesitation and concern, and instead, he gave her a clearer, yet more bitter smile, as if to comfort her, or perhaps to convince himself:
"If... that girl were to die piloting Unit-01 in my place..."
His voice lowered, carrying a barely perceptible tremor, "I'm afraid... I'd never be able to live with myself."
He raised his head, his gaze seeming to pierce through the car roof toward the chaotic and cruel sky, his voice tinged with a self-mocking heroism:
"And besides... isn't this... saving the world?"
Seeing the unshirkable sense of responsibility and deeply buried kindness beneath the boy's forced smile, Misato's eyes instantly welled up.
She opened her mouth, only to find she couldn't say anything.
Shinji hesitated no longer.
He reached out and, with uncanny familiarity, took the car communicator from Misato's hand, as if he had performed this action countless times before.
He pressed the call button, his voice calm and clear as it entered the communication channel:
"This is Shinji Ikari. Dr. Ritsuko, are you there?"
There was a second of silence on the other end of the communicator, followed by Ritsuko's voice, tinged with surprise but still composed:
"Shinji-kun? This is Ritsuko."
Shinji took a deep breath, his gaze fixed firmly on the purple giant lying collapsed in the ruins ahead—a symbol of both despair and hope—and spoke each word with resounding clarity:
"Miss Ritsuko, please switch all of Unit-01's compatibility data to mine immediately."
His voice echoed within the confines of the small car, carrying an undeniable determination:
"I will pilot Unit-01!"