Leaving the Northern Continent felt like stepping straight out of a refrigerator and into a toaster oven.
After hitching a ride on a Penguin merchant ship (with an extra "medicated-oil tax" courtesy of Mr. Ping), we finally arrived at the border of the Ignis Region—a barren land dominated by red soil, sulfurous steam, and volcanoes that coughed lava like chain-smokers.
"This heat is insane…" I groaned, taking off my Yeti-fur coat, which now felt like a portable sauna.
"I feel like a chicken being slow-roasted."
Even Elena—normally the picture of strength—looked worn down. Her Mithril armor absorbed sunlight with terrifying efficiency.
"Rian… if I pass out from dehydration, bury me somewhere shady. And don't let your pan eat my sword."
"Hang in there, Miss. There's a city ahead," I replied while checking the map
(which honestly looked more like abstract scribbles drawn by Lila).
We arrived at Ashfall City, a settlement built at the foot of the Volcano of Ash. The city was famous for magical coal mining and… hot springs. Unfortunately, our biggest problem wasn't the heat.
It was money.
"We're broke," Seraphina reported after checking our coin pouch.
"Our remaining funds are enough for three skewers of desert lizard and one bottle of mineral water—split four ways."
"System! Give me a money gacha! I need startup capital!" I screamed internally.
[Ding!]
[Gacha "Quick Cash Scheme" available.]
[Cost: 1 Normal Gacha Ticket.]
[Congratulations! You obtained: "Dark Kingdom MLM Brochure."]
[Description: A promotional pamphlet promising wealth if you recruit 10 friends to worship demons. Unsellable in religious cities.]
"System, you are absolutely useless!"
Hungry and exhausted, we decided to look for side jobs.
Elena tried becoming a combat instructor, but all her students fled within five minutes because she was too intense.
Seraphina attempted to work as a librarian, but this city had more people who could punch than read.
Lila? She nearly got arrested for trying to "fix" the city's irrigation system with dynamite.
In the end, I returned to the one place where my talent truly mattered.
The kitchen.
I rented a beat-up food cart by the roadside. My capital consisted of leftover spices from past adventures—and my black pan, which now seemed very happy with the city's heat.
"Listen up!" I shouted at passing miners.
"This is Gacha Lava Noodles! Spicy enough to punch you in the soul, addictive enough to make you float, and only 10 silver per bowl!"
I tossed the noodles into the pan.
The pan began spinning on its own, stirring at high speed. The ghostly electric energy stored inside transformed into kinetic heat.
SREEEENG!
A rich, spicy aroma spread across the street. Thirsty, hungry miners quickly gathered.
"One serving!"
"Me too! Extra chili!"
Within two hours, my cart was completely sold out.
We earned enough money to stay at the best inn in the city—complete with private onsen hot spring baths.
That night, with full stomachs and refilled wallets, we decided to relax in the hot springs.
"Ahhh… now this is living," I muttered while soaking in the men's bath.
I was alone—the inn was pretty quiet. My black pan sat neatly by the edge of the pool, occasionally dipping its handle into the water like it was checking the temperature.
Suddenly, the wooden wall separating the men's and women's baths creaked.
"Rian? Are you there?"
Elena's voice came from the other side.
"Yes, Miss. What is it?"
"Could you grab a spare towel from the basket near the entrance? Seraphina forgot to bring one for Lila."
I sighed. "Alright. One moment."
I stepped out of the bath, wrapped in a short towel, and walked toward the basket.
But just as I picked up the towel, the wooden floor—slick from sulfur steam—betrayed me.
"WHOA—!"
THUD!
I crashed straight into the dividing wall.
And since the wall was old and weakened by heat and moisture…
CRAAAACK! SPLASH!
The wall collapsed.
I tumbled forward into the women's bath—landing directly in front of Elena, who had been leaning against the pool's edge.
Silence.
Thick steam filled the air, making the moment painfully dramatic.
Elena stared at me.
I stared at Elena.
Her blue eyes widened… then slowly narrowed with an all-too-familiar killing intent.
"Rian…" Her voice was low and trembling.
"Is this part of your 'Hero Plan'?"
"W-wait! This was a pure gravity accident! The floor was slippery! I swear!"
Seraphina, who was tying Lila's hair, could only sigh.
"Rian, you truly have a talent for being in cliché situations at the worst possible time."
"KYAAA! BIG BRO LIAN IS HALF-NAKED!" Lila shouted, laughing uncontrollably.
Elena slowly stood up. Water dripped from her hair.
She didn't scream in embarrassment like a normal girl.
Instead, she clenched her fist until her knuckles cracked.
"One minute," she said coldly.
"I'll give you one minute to run before I turn you into soup—in your own pan."
I didn't need to be told twice.
I jumped up—but in my panic, I forgot my towel was snagged on the broken wall.
"Damn it!"
I grabbed my Black Pan to cover myself and sprinted out of the bath.
"MERCY, MISS! I SAW NOTHING! JUST SHOULDERS!"
"DIE, YOU PERVERT!"
Elena leapt out of the pool
(of course already wearing a bathrobe at knight-speed)
and chased me around the inn.
But mid-chase, the pan in my hands suddenly vibrated violently.
The red eye on its underside snapped open and stared at the inn's rooftop.
TING!
A black arrow shot out of the darkness, aimed straight at my throat.
By pure reflex, I raised the pan.
CLANG!
The arrow bounced off.
Elena immediately stopped chasing me. Her expression hardened—combat mode activated. She pulled me behind her.
"Assassins," she said.
Three gray-robed figures appeared on the rooftop. They wore lizard-faced masks.
"Rian the Cook," one of them hissed.
"Your head carries a high price from the 'Creditor' of the Volcano. Pay your master's debt—or pay with your life."
I peeked out from behind Elena.
"Debt?! I just arrived and I'm already being billed?! How much is it?!"
The assassin unfurled a scroll.
"Demon King Astaroth's gambling debt from a thousand years ago:
100,000 gold coins.
With interest over ten centuries… the total is 15 trillion Gold."
I almost fainted.
"FIFTEEN TRILLION?! Even selling every kidney on this continent wouldn't cover that!"
"Then die."
All three assassins jumped down.
They weren't ordinary killers—each movement left trails of glowing embers.
They were Ash-Walkers, elite units of the corrupted Dragon Knights.
"Elena! Seraphina!" I shouted.
"Protect Lila!" Elena replied as she charged one of them.
I stood amid the chaos, wearing nothing but a towel
(which was now clipped in place by the pan).
This was bad. Very bad.
I had no weapon—only my pan, which still smelled faintly of Lava Noodles.
[Ding!]
[Emergency Quest: "Debt Collectors from Hell."]
[Objective: Defeat the assassins or repay the debt (Funds: 200 Gold).]
[Suggestion: Use the 'Patchwork Payment' technique.]
"What kind of technique is that?!"
I looked at the pan.
"Alright, buddy. If they want debt repayment, let's give them a payment they'll never forget."
I rummaged through my inventory and pulled out leftover Dragon Breath Medicated Oil and extra-spicy chili powder.
I mixed them into the still-scorching pan.
"HEY, YOU UGLY LIZARDS!" I shouted.
"THIS IS MY FIRST INSTALLMENT!"
I swung the pan, releasing a cloud of steam mixed with medicated oil and chili powder—
A magically enhanced tear gas.
"Poison gas?!" one assassin screamed.
"Nope! Molecular Aromatherapy!"
As the assassins started coughing and clawing at their burning eyes, Elena finished her opponent with a single devastating slash.
But the battle was far from over.
From the distance, war horns sounded.
The ground trembled.
Small dragons began flying over the city.
"This is bad," Seraphina muttered.
"Looks like the 'Creditor' sent their entire force to collect Astaroth's gambling debt."
I stared at the sky in despair.
"System… can I declare bankruptcy?"
[System: Bankruptcy is only possible if you surrender your Pan.]
I hugged the pan tightly.
"I'd rather be chased by 15 trillion in debt than lose this pan!"
Our journey to the volcano had officially become a high-speed escape mission from the most terrifying debt collectors in the world.