My knee hit the ground.
Blood dripped from my body and splashed onto the hospital floor, mixing with rainwater and dirt. I couldn't tell where the pain ended anymore. Everything burned. Everything screamed.
Jacklin laughed softly.
Not nervous.
Not apologetic.
Amused.
She leaned close, her breath warm against my ear.
"You're predictable," she whispered.
Then, quieter—
"You were easy to get close to."
"Why?!" I screamed, my throat raw and tearing. "Why my family?! We did nothing wrong!"
My legs gave out completely.
And that was when it finally hit me—
I hadn't saved her.
I had stepped exactly where she wanted me.
She straightened slowly, eyes empty, almost bored.
"Your family was… interesting."
Pain exploded everywhere.
I barely managed to rise my body.
I tried to lift the sword.
My fingers slipped.
The neon-blue veins along its edge pulsed weakly, like a dying heartbeat.
I couldn't even hold it.
"Please…" I whispered, my voice breaking.
"Leave him…"
Rain poured down, mixing with blood, washing nothing away.
More shadows closed in.
Blades came from all sides—knives sinking into my arms, my legs, my ribs. My body jerked with every impact, nerves screaming as blood soaked through my clothes and pooled beneath me.
I was losing strength.
Fast.
My vision tunneled. The world narrowed to fragments—rain, shadows, Renya's small body in Jacklin's arms.
My world shattered.
Everything I trusted—
Gone.
Jacklin tilted her head, watching me bleed.
"You're still breathing?" she said, amused. Her lips curved into a slow, cruel smile.
"I'm not done yet."
She turned.
Toward Renya.
My heart stopped.
"Please—!" My voice broke. "Please… take me instead."
I dragged myself forward, nails scraping uselessly against the ground.
"He's just a child," I sobbed. "Please. I'm begging you."
"Begging."
The word shattered something inside me.
I had never begged for anything in my life.
Jacklin crouched in front of Renya, knife glinting under the hospital lights.
"So loud," she said softly. "You really care, don't you?"
She lifted the blade.
Renya froze.
My vision blurring.
His crying stopped mid-breath, like his body sensed something it couldn't understand.
"No—!" I gasped, my voice tearing apart. "Please—please don't—!"
The knife lowered.
Slowly.
It hovered just above his skin.
Not touching.
Close enough that I could see Renya's body tense, his tiny fingers curling in on themselves.
Jacklin tilted her head, watching me, not him.
"Listen to him," she said softly.
Renya let out a sound—
A sharp, broken cry.
Not pain.
Fear.
Pure, helpless fear.
My heart stopped.
My vision blurred.
She's hurting him.
I was sure of it.
"No—NO—!" My voice came out fractured, weak, nothing like a scream should be. "STOP! PLEASE—!"
Renya cried harder, small body trembling.
My body tried to move and failed.
"Move", "Move"
My arms shook uselessly against the ground.
I couldn't move.
I couldn't stand.
I couldn't even crawl anymore.
Jacklin smiled faintly.
Then she pulled the knife away.
Clean.
Untouched.
But Renya was screaming now—full-throated, desperate, his small body trembling as if something terrible had already happened.
And in my mind—
It had.
That sound—
A sharp, piercing cry—that tore straight through my soul.
It shattered me.
Jacklin withdrew the knife immediately, as if she'd only been testing something.
I was Helpless.
Useless.
A worthless protector.
Something inside my chest collapsed completely.
This can't be real.
This has to be a dream.
My mind rejected everything.
I saw flashes instead—
Water rushing past my ears—
silence, weightless, the world holding its breath.
My mother's tired smile, wiping water from my hair, calling my name like everything was still safe.
My brother laughing, his wife beside him, their voices overlapping, careless and warm.
Renya's fingers wrapped around mine—
small, trusting, holding on.
The pool wall under my palm.
The moment before the signal.
Who I was.
And then—
Everything tearing away at once.
I failed you.
I couldn't protect my brother.
I couldn't protect my mother.
I couldn't protect him.
Tears poured down my face.
"I'm sorry," I whispered to no one.
"To all of you… I'm sorry."
My heartbeat thundered violently.
Too fast.
Too loud.
My blood felt like it was boiling inside my veins.
Reality began to feel thin.
My vision burned.
Like the world was a painted backdrop about to tear.
I don't know what's happening to me.
My body started to feel distant—like it wasn't fully mine anymore. My limbs were heavy, numb, but something deep inside was moving on its own.
I'm not moving.
But something is.
Renya cried again.
That sound—
It tore through everything.
I didn't think.
My breath stuttered.
My heart slammed once—
Then the world blinked.
Reality had simply folded.
My body shook violently.
"I don't know what's happening," I whispered, voice trembling. "But… I have to save him."
The sword was in my hand.
This time, it felt warm.
Alive.
The neon-blue veins flared brightly, pulsing in time with my heartbeat.
For a fraction of a second, everything went silent.
No rain.
No screams.
No pain.
Just nothing.
World feels like slow
Then—
I was standing.
The ground beneath my feet felt wrong.
Too solid.
Too sudden.
I felt it before I heard it.
Something was wrong.
Very wrong.
Jacklin was in front of me—
No.
I was behind her.
So close I could smell the rain in her hair.
Jacklin's hand was empty.
She stared at it.
Her body stiffened.
"What—?"
Then at the space in front of her.
Slowly—
She turned.
Her eyes widened.
For the first time—
She looked afraid.
Her hand, still holding the knife, trembled slightly. Not from fear of me, but from witnessing something that violated the rules of her world.
I stood there, soaked in rain and blood, holding Renya tightly against my chest.
My body trembled uncontrollably.
I was holding Renya in my arms shaking
I… I don't know what's happening," I whispered, voice breaking.
"But I'm not letting you touch him again."
The sword hummed softly in my other hand.
Warm.
Alive.
Jacklin took a step back.
I didn't understand how I got there.
I didn't choose it.
I didn't move.
✦ END OF CHAPTER 4 — THE MOMENT I BROKE ✦