"Oh, look at this one, would you rather have a million dollars now, or two cents that double every day for 30 days?" Reiko says, leaning against the checkout desk while I use the brewing station just nearby.
The shop is quiet today, and apparently, so is her list of duties. Obviously, she decides to make that my problem.
"Oh, I know this one. It's the coins," she says. "I remember getting shocked for getting this wrong a while back."
"Yea, it's the coins," I say, watching the coffee filter through. I freeze. "What, like shock therapy? Oh, is that why you're insane?"
Reiko pauses. "Something like that."
I just shrug. I suppose there's a reason as to why Reiko is the way she is. By my guess, she probably tore her way through eight layers of hell before finally emerging into our world, but it could also just be that she was hit over the head with a rock as a kid, destroying some pretty crucial parts of her brain.
I grab the two coffee mugs, placing them on the checkout desk. "I think I've gotten better," I say.
She takes one of the mugs, taking a slow sip.
She sticks her tongue out. "You fucked the roast."
Oh I fucked the roast, did I?
I take a sip of the coffee only to find out that yes, I did indeed fuck the roast.
Fuck. Ever since I installed the blasted coffee station, Reiko has taken literally every single chance to show me up. She's bizarrely good at it.
She smirks, ruffling my hair. Not in consolation. "Don't worry, little man, you're still small and stupid, you'll get it one day."
I scoff. "We can't all be multitalented geniuses. I get to be good at a thousand different things, you can have this one little thing."
"Woooow." She rolls her eyes. "Big ego for a small guy. Insecure much?"
It all sails right past me.
When she realizes I'm not taking the bait, she taps a pack of cigarettes on the back of her hand, then flicks her lighter. I let her smoke in here. Better than her smoking at home.
I stick out my small hand towards her. She tilts her head
"What, forget already?"
Reiko sighs and hands me a cigarette. "You really shouldn't be smoking," she says, lighting it anyway.
"Huh?" I blow out a puff of smoke. "Did you grow a moral compass while you were away?"
When I was still setting up the shop, Reiko bought her own ashtrays to decorate the checkout desk with, as if we'd already agreed that's what we'd do. I let her, on the condition that she coughs over a cigarette tax, which she happily agreed to.
And so, my cigarette deficiency was finally solved. After like eight months. Too long.
In my past life, cigarettes were one of the few vices I could really afford on a consistent basis. Weed wasn't really my thing, cocaine was too expensive, alcohol got boring after a while, adderall was too hard to get, meth was meth, opioids were too expensive and the withdrawals incapacitated me, and psychedelics are for nerds.
"Anyway, my lungs heal," I say.
Smoking in this life is even better. I get all the benefits with none of the drawbacks. Well, there's always the smell, but people overreact to it.
Reiko just shrugs. "So unfair," she says, taking a seat behind the counter and turning her attention to her phone. I return to the coffeemaker.
I mistakenly showed her what is essentially this world's version of tiktok, and she's been way too into it recently.
"Oh ok, would you rather have a quirk that makes you bleed from your eyes each time you use it, or a quirk that permanently turns your fingers into scissor blades?"
"Dude, what kind of shit are you even watching?"
The doorbell chimes before she can answer. I can't really see the entrance from the brewing station, so I just assume it's another customer.
It's only when Lady Nagant, pro hero and assassin, walks into view that I realize I am horrifically incorrect. I'm not exactly surprised, Tsutsumi has been visiting more often, if only to make sure I haven't fully lost my shit yet.
I suspect she's just trying to monitor the situation, though, this time around, she looks worse for wear.
"Tsustumi!" Reiko says. "Would you rather have a quirk that makes you bleed from your eyes or a quirk that turns your fingers into scissor blades forever?"
Lady Nagant sighs, moving to lean against the desk. She looks at Reiko, absorbed by her new fascination with internet hypotheticals, then to me, a child smoking a cigarette.
"Reze, Reiko is sensitive to stuff like this," she says, plucking the phone from Reiko's hands. Reiko just mumbles in protest. "It'll fry her brain. And you, I thought I told you not to smoke."
"I'm making coffee, you want some?" I ask, ignoring her. "Milk or sugar?"
"Black."
"Real tough, Lady Nagant."
"Yea, real tough, sis."
She points at me. "Don't call me that," she says, then points at Reiko. "And especially don't call me that in public."
"Don't you have hero shit to do?" I say, handing her an espresso cup. "What're you hustling us for?"
She takes a small sip, then sighs. Her eyes are downcast, and she looks at us like she wants to say something. It's something beyond making sure we haven't killed each other yet. "Never mind," she says. "You two are the worst people to talk to about this sort of stuff."
I cock my head. "This sort of stuff?"
I can probably imagine what it is. Meta knowledge and what not. Lady Nagant is, after all, an assassin for the HSPC. In the story I read, the constant sanctioned killing on behalf of the commission took a toll on her psyche until she snapped and killed her own supervisor.
After that, she gets locked up for the better part of a decade. In Tartarus, no less.
I look at her as she drinks her coffee. No matter how many times she visits, how casually she addresses me, I still find it hard to believe she's a real person. But she is. She is real.
And from what I can tell, she's just now on the verge of doing something that'll get her locked up.
Do I stop it? Even if I want to, can I?
What would I even say? 'I know I'm a little kid that you deem insane, but I actually do know a lot about your situation from sources I can't really disclose. And yes, you should just put your head down and keep killing people!'
Ridiculous. Still, she's the only person in my life that isn't batshit crazy. I can't let her go down like that, not with Reiko liable to fly off the handle. I don't really know how she'd take it, but I can't assume it'll be anything good.
Does Reiko even care if the woman she considers a sister gets locked up? Is she capable of caring? Ugh. This is why I shouldn't get involved with previously fictional characters. I know too much and too little at the same time.
It makes me nauseous. The situation is too unpredictable. Reiko is too unpredictable. This threatens my plans.
I take a drag of my cigarette and puff out smoke in a heavy sigh. I don't wanna do this. Why do I have to do this? Why couldn't I have my memories wiped?
And yet, I need the admission to come from her mouth. Even if I have to play my hand.
"If I promise to get a psych evaluation at the commission, will you tell us?"
I really don't wanna play this card. I've had it in the back pocket for a while, a contingency in case Lady Nagant did consider to follow the route I remember her taking.
Her eyes light up. "You will? I thought you'd rather die."
I grit my teeth. I would rather die. Government institutions along with a whole litany of other things should burn to the ground until they are nothing but ash. But I won't be the one to burn them.
"I'm a child, I'm liable to change my mind on a whim."
Reiko rests her head on the till. "They'll try to admit you, or pick your brain open, or recruit you. Kaina, you should know how terrible they are."
Kaina pauses. She knows. She does. Of course she does. She not only knows of the corruption, she's a part of it. The only reason she'd even consider bringing me there is to convince me to stay, to get me away from Reiko before something bad happens.
Kaina Tsutsumi is, after all, a good person. Unlike others.
That's what I'm playing on.
"I'm only agreeing to an evaluation," I say. "The moment they try anything more, I'm pulling the pin and making nine-eleven look like a joke."
Both women look at me, confused.
"What? Too soon? Oh come on."
"What's that?" Reiko asks.
I suppose there still are some differences between our realities. "Anyway." I clear my throat. "What I'm saying, Kaina, is that if they try to fuck me, I'm not scared of becoming a terrorist."
Reiko laughs hard. Lady Nagant is not amused. She can't tell if I'm joking or not. "I'll keep it low profile," she says.
I chuckle. "Is that it? Come on. Low profile, and none of it ever gets out unless I want it to. When I walk away, I don't want anyone poking their noses into my shit. I don't need the attention."
She nods. "I wouldn't put you or Reiko in danger," she says. "I just want to make sure you're safe. No records."
She looks at me and I notice her expression is sort of strange, as if she realizes I might be more of a danger to the commission than I am just staying where I'm at.
Too late.
"Deal!" I ash my cigarette. "Now, what's so serious you can't talk to us about it?"
My plan is simple. She tells me about wanting to kill the HSPC president, I use this little ruse to get inside the commission. When I'm in… well, I'll figure something out.
I can manage. I'll find a way that retains my anonymity, a way that keeps Kaina out of Tartarus.
Lady Nagant hesitates for a moment. "It's my work," she says. "I… don't know what to do."
Reiko perks up. "Hero or assassin?"
"Assassin. I…" she trails off. "It can't be reconciled. My hands are bloody, Reiko."
"So are mine."
I stay quiet.
Kayna grips her coffee cup with a shaky hand. "I can't work like you do. People look up to me, look up to heroes. Children grow up idolizing us." She shudders. "What would they say if they knew?"
I tilt my head. "Knew what?"
"The lie. That the image of heroes they know is a sham stacked on bodies and bodies," she says. "The commission … They'd rather me kill all that is ugly so that their heroes remain beautiful. Their system is so fragile it makes my head spin."
I already knew. It shouldn't come as a surprise, not really. She kills corrupt heroes so that society's trust isn't lost. After all, how could heroes exist with trust?
Lady Nagant is a gardener, tending to the flowerbed, plucking at the weeds so that beauty is maintained. But how many weeds can one pull? They sprout, and sprout, and sprout, because such is the soil.
I frown. The idea is too grand. Fixing this would require a restructuring of society of revolutionary proportions. It would be burning the garden, eliminating the circumstances that give rise to crime in the first place. It is impossible.
It makes my head spin as it does hers. I understand it. I hope I do.
I wanted her to tell me, but I didn't think about what I'd say. What can I say?
"Then why don't we destroy it all?" Reiko says.
Lady Nagant chuckles darkly.
Again, I can say nothing. This isn't something you can fix with words. Kaina stumbled upon something she cannot possibly fix by herself. Oh, it's hopeless.
I look at her face. It is killing her.
"Perhaps we should," she says, eyes dark.
It is then that I know. I know that somewhere inside, she has already convinced herself.
Why do I have to deal with this? I'm a child! I am! Damn. Fine. Alright.
She takes a deep, shuddering breath. "This is why I didn't want to tell you," she says. "I knew you'd say that. Now I'm thinking the same way as you."
Reiko sticks her tongue out. "The way I think is perfectly normal, actually."
The doorbell chimes, another person entering. We gather ourselves and stop the conversation.
Kyotoku Jiro walks through the small store until he sees me. "Ah, Reze, good. I wanted to get your opinion on t-"
His face drops as he sees the other two. His eyes dart from the pro hero to the woman that vaguely resembles me.
"Uhm…" he stammers. "Lady Nagant? And… your mother?"
Fantastic timing.
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A/N: Sorry for not posting yesterday, I was too hungover to write.
Anyway, welcome to the Lady Nagant mini arc. Sorry, I can't have Reze fixing (or worsening) minor problems in MHA to start with, he's gonna have to deal with real shit off rip.
We're at almost 300 power stones I think, so only a little more till our 400 goal!