Of all the newcomers on the ship, only Tali was worth paying attention to. Not because she was a girl, but for the simple reason that I assigned her as a technician to the Normandy's drive core, and that didn't sit well with everyone. So after I'd talked to Wrex and was about to talk to Garrus, Adams called me in—some of his people weren't happy about the quarian showing up.
"Smiiirno!"
The moment I stepped into Engineering, I shouted it loud enough that the engineers couldn't ignore the demand.
"Adams! Report!"
"Sir, the engineers aren't very happy…"
"I've already heard that from you."
My voice turned cold and sardonic.
"Since when does a superior officer care whether his subordinates are happy or not? Or have things gotten so out of hand in your fief that they plan to debate my orders?"
"No, sir!"
Adams snapped to attention, and I turned to the engineers.
"Alright. I'll show compassion to the head-sick ones and run a Q&A session—once. And only once. And if I'm in the mood, I'll even answer. So?"
The engineers didn't take my words well, and they were looking at me with a certain hostility now, but none of them could bring themselves to speak. Only Tali stood off to the side, shifting uncertainly from foot to foot.
"Come on. Or do I need to list all of you not just as head-sick, but award you the proud title of 'autists'?"
"Sir, that's crossing the line!"
A woman stepped forward, staring at me with indignation.
"Did you come here to insult us?!"
"No, fuck! I came here because some hysterics decided to challenge my decisions! And instead of walking the ship and taking reports, I'm forced to stand here wiping your snot because you 'don't like' something!"
The woman took a step back.
"Alright. Since you stepped forward, you'll speak for everyone. What, exactly, doesn't suit you?"
"Well…"
She glanced around uncertainly.
"…the Normandy is the Alliance's newest frigate, and you allowed into Engineering—"
"Yeah, he let in a space beggar! She'll steal all our secrets!"
"And who's that smart? Step forward!"
My shout—and the glare I drove into the man who'd yelled it—made him shrink, but he stayed where he was.
"And who are you?"
"Engineer Alex Dow."
"Is that so—Alex Dow? And what's your rank?"
"Corporal."
"Corporal Alex Dow, then. Tell me, please…"
Everyone in Engineering tensed up, because my voice turned soft—soft.
"…who built this ship?"
"The Alliance!"
"And who else? Come on. Or do you think that just because I'm from the landing team, I don't know this frigate is a joint project?"
"The turians…"
"Come on. The turians took an active part, but you're not that much of an idiot, are you? Before you started shouting and making demands, you pulled the data and checked who else took part in building her, didn't you?"
The man stayed silent.
"Fine. Adams?"
I redirected the question.
"The turians contributed and brought in slightly less than the Alliance did, but asari engineers were also involved, and several salarians."
"So it turns out the Alliance's secret project isn't all that secret."
Having lost all interest in Adams, I shifted my gaze back to Dow.
"It's… they…"
"Come on. Are you really telling me you believe a species that reached space before us came over and handed us their most advanced technology?"
"N-no."
"Wonderful."
I even clapped twice.
"Do you really think the data hasn't been handed to their intelligence services and design bureaus, where they'll strip this frigate down to the screws and, after analyzing it, build their own analogs—only ten times better?"
"N-no…"
"Excellent. Now, attention, question. What did you call my guest? 'A space beggar?' Do you know they were a spacefaring species when we were still learning to use black-powder pistols? And for them, something like…"
I might have been a little off about the exact level of development, but I didn't care, and I nodded calmly toward the Normandy's drive core.
"…is also old technology, isn't it?"
"N-no…"
Dow shook his head, fear ringing in his voice.
"Miss Tali'Zorah, tell me—off the top of your head, how many improvements could you propose for the ship's current drive core without giving away your people's secrets? Something ancient by your standards."
"Well…"
She took a couple of steps forward.
"…overall, it's built competently. Except…"
And then she delivered a five-minute lecture. She could've gone on longer, but I stopped her.
"Thank you, Miss Tali'Zorah. None of that is needed right now, and any changes to this ship must, unfortunately for us, be approved by the Alliance. I asked you to say it only to show certain… alternatively gifted individuals who objected to your presence that there's nothing secret for you here."
Tali shifted uncertainly and laced her fingers together, clearly wanting to say something, but I stopped her with a gesture.
"So. We've established that part of my ship's engineering crew is alternatively gifted, and part are outright autists. Adams, pass the list of autists to Presley. On our next stop at the Citadel, if they don't shape up, they'll be removed from the Normandy."
"Yes, sir!"
By the chief engineer's voice, it was clear he didn't approve of what I'd said. Still, I didn't exactly care—he was good at his job. So with a gesture I invited him to step out of Engineering with me.
"Adams…"
The moment the door closed, cutting us off from Engineering, I addressed the older man.
"…Let's keep it simple. I don't give a damn how you talk among yourselves—who's whose brother, buddy, cousin, or honorary relative. I care only about the quality of the work. And right now I don't care who does it. So if this continues—and I find out the quarian is being bullied just because she's quarian—I'll replace every tech on this ship. I'll leave everyone on the Citadel, including you, and I'll recruit quarians who, believe me, will work for food and work extremely well."
"Sir…"
I raised an eyebrow.
"…I'll restore order."
"That's what I wanted to hear. Restore order. Anyone who gets in the way—we'll leave them on the Citadel. Anyone who fits into your team—stays. In general, it depends on your decision, not on what I said in there…"
I nodded toward Engineering. The door opened, and Tali practically ran out.
"Oh. You're here… Captain, sir… I wanted to… um… talk…"
"If Adams' presence doesn't bother you, speak. If it does—"
"It's fine!"
The door closed, and she shifted from foot to foot again, her fingers intertwined.
"I… please don't punish the techs… they're good…"
I raised an eyebrow, looking at the anxious girl, who dropped to almost a whisper by the end.
"…It's just… my people really do have a… reputation… so they… But they're good…"
"Tali'Zorah vas Normandy…"
Hearing her full name, she instantly snapped to attention.
"…your request will be considered. But right now, you don't need to worry. I just spoke with Adams. For the most part, my words were meant to scare them. And only if someone turns out truly…"
I rapped my fist on the bulkhead.
"…then we'll consider transferring them to another ship."
"Ah… I see…"
She exhaled in relief.
"…So I worried for nothing?"
"Why for nothing?"
Adams gave her a fatherly smile.
"You showed you care about the team, and that can be used to help you fit into the crew better."
"Alright, Tali, we have a landing coming up soon, so I hope you've gotten settled."
"Mm-hmm, I did."
She nodded.
"Good. Then I'd ask you to go down to the cargo bay. I think Jane will help you pick the best gear. I'm correct in assuming you don't have much landing experience?"
"Yes, but I learn quickly!"
She tried to smooth over the impression of her inexperience at once.
"Don't worry. From the start I knew you couldn't be an experienced ground-pounder, so at first you'll stay mostly in the back ranks. Over time, once you get used to it…"
"But I have a shotgun…"
Tali touched her thigh uncertainly, where the shotgun hung.
"You'll have to get used to other weapons. A shotgun is, of course, an ultimate weapon, but it's better not to let enemies get close enough for it to become truly effective."
"I… understand."
She nodded briefly.
"Should I go to Lieutenant Shepard?"
"Go ahead…"
When Tali passed me, it took everything I had not to slap her ass.
"…And I still need to continue my ship inspection. Adams, dismissed."
I directed the last two words to the chief engineer, clearly smiling and in a friendly tone. He gave me a faint smile back and, nodding, hurried into Engineering.
"So… I still need to talk to Garrus…"
With that thought, I headed for the turian, who should have been prepping his gear for the upcoming landing.
***
Some time later.
***
"Joker…"
I stepped into the comm room and contacted our pilot.
"Yeah?"
"Comms on these parameters."
I sent him the data on potential channels to reach Liara and the commandos assigned to her.
"Uh… alright…"
He sounded thrown off, but I didn't care. What mattered was that he was ready to carry out the order without debate.
"Who is this?!"
"This is John Shepard, commanding officer of the Normandy. Identify yourself."
"Aliana…"
"Aliana, step back! John, is that you?!"
"Yes, Liara. How are you?"
"Holding for now. But there are so many geth here, and krogan too… and they keep coming like the place is smeared with honey!"
"It is smeared with honey…"
I allowed myself a smirk, which had to be audible in my voice. Unfortunately, video wasn't an option right now.
"You…"
Liara, though, got flustered by the reminder of my teasing. Sadly, in all the years we'd known each other, I still hadn't gotten her into bed. Yet. I mean, I did get her into the bed, of course, but the situation was such that if I'd made a move, I'd have been a complete asshole. So we just slept side by side.
"Anyway, we're on approach… Based on the data I have, we'll reach the planet in a couple of hours, so hold on. If you have to, go into full defense. You and the commandos Benezia assigned to you can do a lot, so you'll hold for a couple of days in a hard defense without any problems."
"Understood… switching to defense… and… John…"
"Yes?"
"Thank you for coming…"
"Couldn't leave my little blue honey caramel behind."
"You!"
"Alright, kisses, kisses… Hold out."
"We will."
The line went dead, and I smirked in satisfaction. She was alive and in good spirits—and I could definitely get her out of this mess.