The music show stage lights hit like a thousand tiny suns, hot and merciless, turning sweat into diamonds on our skin.
We stood in formation behind the silver curtains, hearts thumping in perfect rhythm except for mine, which beat slow and even like a metronome set to victory.
Today was our debut showcase on Inkigayo, live, cameras everywhere, fans packed into the stands waving pink-and-silver lightsticks that looked like an ocean caught on fire.
Hyejin bounced on her toes, whispering "we got this we got this" like a mantra.
Minseo squeezed my hand once, quick and warm, her palm damp with nerves.
Sera adjusted her in-ear with cool fingers, jaw set like she was going into battle.
Chaewon gave us the leader nod, eyes fierce and proud.
And me?
I smiled.
The glued-on one.
Wide.
Bright.
Magnetic.
Ae-Ri floated just above the stage rigging, wings shimmering under the spotlights, looking like a rogue special effect nobody else could see.
She blew me a kiss with both hands.
"Showtime, princess! First win incoming. Make it sparkle so hard they forget how to blink."
The cue music swelled.
Curtains parted.
We launched into the title track like we'd been born doing it.
Choreo snapped sharp and clean.
Vocals layered flawless and soaring.
My center parts drew every eye in the room.
When I hit the bridge high note, the crowd roared so loud the floor vibrated.
Phones flashed like stars exploding.
Lightsticks waved in frantic waves.
And right in the front row, a sea of handmade banners screamed the same three words in glitter pen and desperation.
Sing Yoona sing!
Sing Yoona sing!
Sing Yoona sing!
The song ended on our signature pose: me dead center, head tilted, smile locked, one hand forming a heart over my eye.
The audience lost their minds.
Screams.
Cheers.
Chants that shook the rafters.
We hurried offstage, breathless except for me.
I wasn't breathless.
I wasn't anything.
Just perfect.
Back in the waiting room, the girls collapsed onto couches, laughing and fanning themselves with lyric sheets.
Hyejin chugged water like she'd run a marathon.
Minseo wiped her face with a towel, grinning so wide her cheeks hurt.
Sera checked her phone for fancam clips already uploading.
Chaewon paced, phone to her ear, talking to the manager about post-show interviews.
Then the door burst open.
A staff member in a headset rushed in, eyes huge.
"LUNARIS! You're up for first place! Get ready for the encore stage!"
The room exploded again.
Hugs.
Screams.
Jumping.
Tears—real ones from the others, shiny and hot.
I stood in the middle, arms open, letting them crash into me.
My smile stayed perfect.
My eyes sparkled on cue.
But inside?
Nothing.
No explosion of joy.
No rush of disbelief.
Just a cool, glittering calm that said this was always going to happen.
Ae-Ri zipped down to perch on my shoulder, tiny hands clapping against my neck.
"First win, baby girl! Your first trophy! Your first encore! Look how they love you. Look how they NEED you."
We were rushed back to the stage.
The MCs announced it with dramatic flair.
"LUNARIS wins first place with Eclipse!"
Confetti cannons fired.
Silver and pink rained down like expensive snow.
We stood on the platform, trophy thrust into Chaewon's hands first because leader.
She lifted it high, tears streaming, voice cracking as she thanked the company, the staff, the fans.
Then the mic passed to me.
I stepped forward.
Spotlight burned.
Crowd chanted my name louder than the others combined.
I lifted the mic.
Voice smooth as velvet ribbon.
"Thank you, Eclipse. Thank you to my members who believed in me even when I didn't. Thank you to every single LUNARIS fan who made this moment possible."
My smile widened, eyes crinkling just right.
"And to everyone watching… I'll keep singing. For you. Always."
The arena erupted.
"Sing Yoona sing!" louder than ever.
I waved.
Blew kisses.
Formed hearts with my fingers.
Every gesture automatic.
Every expression flawless.
Ae-Ri floated in front of my face mid-wave, grinning so wide her sharp little teeth glinted.
"They're yours now, superstar. All yours. And the more they give you their hearts… the more you'll have to trade away yours."
We posed for photos.
Trophy in the center.
Me slightly forward because the camera loved me most.
Fans screamed until their voices cracked.
Backstage again, the girls hugged the trophy like a baby.
Hyejin kissed it.
Minseo took a million selfies.
Sera finally let out a real laugh.
Chaewon wiped her eyes and looked at me.
"Yoona… you were incredible out there."
I smiled.
The same smile.
Always the same smile.
"I know."
She blinked.
Something flickered in her eyes—confusion, maybe sadness.
"You didn't even cry."
I tilted my head.
The perfect angle.
"Why would I cry? We won."
Ae-Ri giggled against my ear.
"She's right, princess. No tears left for real moments. Only for fancams now."
The manager herded us toward the vans.
Fans lined the hallway, phones out, chanting.
I waved again.
Smiled again.
Felt nothing again.
In the van, windows tinted black, the city lights streaked past like falling stars.
The girls chattered about the win, replaying fancams, planning celebratory ramyeon at the dorm.
I stared out the window.
Reflected in the glass: a perfect idol face, soft blur at the edges, smile still glued.
Ae-Ri curled up in my lap like a cat, wings folded.
"First win down, superstar.
Feels good, right?
Feels like everything you ever wanted."
I whispered so quiet the others couldn't hear.
"It feels like nothing."
She patted my knee with one tiny hand.
"That's because you're almost perfect.
One more trade… maybe two… and you won't feel the emptiness at all."
I closed my eyes.
The chant still echoed in my head, soft and endless.
Sing Yoona sing.
And for the first time, the voice that answered back sounded exactly like mine.
Flat.
Beautiful.
Empty.
I will.