"Jiraiya! What are you doing?!" a sharp, girlish shout rang out.
Instantly, Jiraiya felt a jolt of electricity shoot from the top of his skull all the way down to his tailbone. He froze in place, stiff as a board. A distant, agonizing memory—one he would never forget—surged into his mind.
It was the tragic memory of having several ribs shattered by a single punch when he was younger.
Jiraiya turned his head with the jerky movements of a malfunctioning robot. What greeted his eyes was the person he thought about day and night, yet absolutely did not want to see right now—Tsunade.
"Tsunade... l-listen to me. Let me explain," Jiraiya stammered, panic rising.
But the Tsunade in front of him wasn't listening. She stomped toward him, face twisted in rage, fist clenched tight, looking ready to launch him into the stratosphere.
Seeing her posture, Jiraiya completely lost his composure. He scrambled backward in terror. "Wait—don't! Tsunade, stay back!"
In his panic, he forgot exactly where he was. Behind him was nothing but a thin paper window.
CRASH!
The window shattered, and Jiraiya tumbled backward through the frame, straight down into the women's bathhouse.
Chaos erupted instantly.
"Pervert! There's a pervert!"
"Kill that dirty old man!"
"Grab him! Drag him to the Hokage!"
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
Heavy footsteps shook the floor as a terrifyingly "voluptuous" woman, built like a tank, charged forward with a murderous aura.
"Out of my way! No man breaks into my bathhouse while Akimichi Aya is here! I'm gonna punch his eyes out!"
Meanwhile, on the roof, "Tsunade" disappeared in a puff of smoke, revealing a stunned Taiichi.
He stood there, blinking. He just wanted to prank Jiraiya a little. He had no idea the reaction would be that extreme.
The guy literally threw himself through a window out of sheer terror.
Listening to the chaos below, Taiichi heard the sounds of violence—slaps, punches, and screams—moving from the bathhouse out onto the street.
Clearly, even Jiraiya couldn't handle a mob of angry, naked women. He was fleeing for his life.
Taiichi looked left and right, confirmed the coast was clear, and quickly jumped down to chase after the commotion.
As expected of the legendary Toad Sage, this wasn't his first rodeo. Jiraiya bobbed and weaved through the alleys, and after two blocks, he had completely shaken off his pursuers.
Taiichi followed the trail of angry women for a while, but eventually realized they had lost the target.
With no other choice, Taiichi tried to track Jiraiya himself. He followed the faint traces all the way to a small grove near Training Ground 3.
"Are you looking for me?" a sinister voice whispered from behind him.
Taiichi jumped forward in fright, spinning around mid-air to land in a defensive stance. When he saw the gloomy face of Jiraiya standing there, he couldn't help but let out an awkward, foolish laugh.
He couldn't help it. Looking at Jiraiya's current state, anyone would feel guilty.
The Sannin was sporting a massive black eye. His white hair looked like a bird's nest that had been through a hurricane. His face was swollen, and his clothes were tattered—a hole here, a missing patch of fabric there. He looked like he'd been through a war zone.
"Jiraiya-sensei! What are you doing here? I followed the crowd to see what was happening... I didn't expect to find you!" Taiichi feigned surprise.
"I heard they caught a peeping tom at the bathhouse. Did you see who it was?" Taiichi added, trying to play dumb.
"Keep lying. Go on, let's see how long you can keep it up." Jiraiya reached out and grabbed Taiichi by the ear.
"And you have the nerve to call me Sensei? Is this how you treat your teacher?!" Jiraiya wailed indignantly.
"Ah! Ow, ow, ow!" Taiichi yelled dramatically. "Sensei, it's gonna rip! My ear is gonna fall off!"
Seeing Taiichi's over-the-top performance, Jiraiya felt a mix of anger and amusement. He let go but grumbled, "Good riddance. Maybe then you'll stop pranking me all day."
"My perfect research session... ruined by you!" Jiraiya muttered under his breath.
"Sensei, I didn't mean for that to happen! I just wanted to spook you a little. I didn't know the window was made of paper!" Taiichi explained.
He obviously couldn't say, "You were so traumatized by Tsunade that you threw yourself through a window." If he said that, Jiraiya might actually beat him into a hospital bed out of embarrassment.
"Sensei, to make up for it, let me treat you to dinner!" Taiichi offered carefully.
Jiraiya side-eyed him. "Hmph. At least you have a conscience."
He let out a hearty laugh, threw his arm around Taiichi's shoulder, and started walking toward the village. His anger vanished instantly, though his tattered appearance somewhat ruined his majestic aura.
At the Izakaya, Taiichi ordered all of Jiraiya's favorite dishes and his preferred sake as an apology.
Taiichi, of course, stuck to juice.
They ate and chatted. Taiichi took the opportunity to ask Jiraiya about some difficulties he was having with his training.
Towards the end of the meal, Taiichi asked quietly, "Jiraiya-sensei... did you know Tsunade-sensei left the village?"
Jiraiya's hand froze mid-air, his chopsticks holding a piece of food. He stayed like that for a long moment.
"When?" he asked finally. He had been away on a mission for a long time. Clearly, no one had told him.
"About half a month ago. She took Shizune with her," Taiichi replied softly.
Hearing that she took Shizune, Jiraiya fell silent again.
Seeing that he had touched a sore spot, Taiichi stopped talking. The table fell into a heavy silence.
After a while, Taiichi asked, "Sensei, do you think she'll come back?"
Jiraiya looked at Taiichi. "Hard to say." He paused, then added, "It might actually depend on you."
Taiichi thought about that. Jiraiya had a point. And honestly, Taiichi wanted her back as soon as possible.
It wasn't just important for the village; it was crucial for Tsunade herself. In the original story, she wandered for nearly twenty years, and her condition never improved. She spent two decades drinking, gambling, and suffering from hemophobia. Twenty years of her prime, wasted in misery.
Thinking about it made Taiichi feel pity for her, and anger at the Third Hokage and Jiraiya for letting it happen.
"Yeah. I'll find a way to bring her back. I promise," Taiichi said with determination.
"Alright, enough of the heavy stuff," Jiraiya said, waving his hand to dismiss the mood. "You keep calling her 'Tsunade-sensei.' Did she actually take you as a disciple?" he asked casually.
"Yeah. Before she left, she accepted me as her student. She even gave me the Summoning Contract for the slugs," Taiichi answered honestly.
PFFT!
Jiraiya sprayed his mouthful of sake across the table. He had asked casually; he didn't expect that answer.
"Hah! So she finally found a true heir." Jiraiya wiped his mouth, genuinely happy. "That's great news. Hahaha!"
"What's so funny, Jiraiya-sensei?"
A new voice cut in.