Chapter 94: Relieving Stress
On a Konoha road.
"So, remind me again why I'm training with you two?"
Kakashi was walking on his hands, trailing behind two figures—one green and one red. His dead-fish eyes were full of speechlessness.
Tonbo Tobitake: "Because you know too much."
Guy: "That's right, you know too much."
Since they were still young and Kakashi's skin wasn't quite thick enough yet, he ended up following them under the combined pressure of Tonbo's persuasion.
Kakashi was beyond frustrated. He had finally managed to get a day off. Not long ago, on his eighteenth birthday, he had received a gift sent back by Lord Jiraiya: the latest edition of Icha Icha Paradise. He had planned to finish his training and dive into some "study" time, only to run into these two.
Truly, today was not his day.
"Yo, Kakashi, what's this you've got here?" Tonbo, leading the pack, suddenly had a book in his hand. On the cover were four bold words: Icha Icha Paradise.
Guy's eyes flashed with a spark of curiosity, and he snatched it away.
"Stop! That's just a book about... love..." Kakashi's face turned red instantly. He scrambled up to grab it back, but his old friend wasn't about to let go so easily.
Guy realized immediately that this was no ordinary book. "Love"—what a grand word! Anything that could capture this old friend's attention must be a particularly good book. Guy hopped up on one hand, flipping through the pages as he walked.
Meanwhile, as revenge for Kakashi seeing through his transformation earlier, Tonbo blocked Kakashi's path.
"Whoa~ Oh~ I have no other wishes for the future of my life, only that I may be intoxicated and submerged in all love. Let this cup of passion be drunk to the brim, a full intoxication..."
Guy started reading aloud. Though it wasn't his usual style, he started to feel something. But gradually, the tone shifted. As the plot thickened, even the thick-headed Guy started to blush.
Red-faced, he tossed the book to Tonbo. "Here, you read it! This is too shameful. I'm still a child!"
Kakashi tried to intercept, but it was impossible. Aside from Guy and a few old-timers from the Warring States era, no one's Taijutsu was significantly better than Tonbo's.
Tonbo took the book and continued reading: "The value of love lies not just in possession. Sometimes, sacrificing love is the only way to make it eternal..."
Reading this, Tonbo looked at the cover. It was indeed written by Jiraiya. Good grief, Lord Jiraiya actually has this kind of literary talent? Truly, never judge a book by its cover.
"Give it back!" Kakashi capitalized on Tonbo's distraction and snatched the book back. "This book is filled with the true essence of 'Love.' I suggest you both buy a copy. I believe it contains qualities essential for a ninja."
"Invincible youth is the only quality a ninja needs! Study with me, Kakashi!" Guy didn't want any part of that.
Tonbo laughed. "I'm different from you two. You're still searching for the essence of love, but I've already passed down the Will of Fire. I'm telling you, my two kids are so cute and well-behaved... That is true love. Do you guys want to date? I can ask my wife to introduce you to some people. she knows some excellent kunoichi."
Hearing this, Guy and Kakashi exchanged a look and quickly scurried away on their hands. Tonbo was too much.
"Hey! Wait! Don't go so fast! I'm telling you, children are the future of Konoha! The sooner you have them, the sooner they inherit..." Tonbo sped up, chasing after them. He genuinely wanted to introduce his classmates to some girls to save them from a lifetime of bachelorhood.
It definitely wasn't out of malice. Definitely.
Poof!
"Ah, it's over. A truly scorching day of youth." Tonbo released his transformation, stretched his arms, wiped his sweat, and smiled. He felt all his stress evaporate.
This sudden idea had been the right move. Ninjas accumulate a massive amount of psychological fatigue during missions, which is also a process of building up mental energy. While ninjas have extraordinary power and rarely suffer from "War Syndrome," they still build up stress that needs a release valve.
Some ninjas can't find a way to vent. Since they can't simply retire, they resort to tragic methods—self-mutilation of a leg or arm to be discharged as disabled. Those without that resolve might defect and become rogue ninjas. Female ninjas have it slightly better; they can retire through pregnancy—a path many in various villages take.
Different ninjas have different ways of releasing pressure: Guy has his youthful training, Kakashi has his books, Jiraiya has his "research" and writing, Tsunade has gambling. Most ninjas develop a unique quirk.
Tonbo naturally had stress too. He was talented, but he was still human. This act of putting on a mask and acting a fool helped alleviate that pressure.
Actually, the Will of Fire serves a purpose here too; it's not just brainwashing. Whether it's Konoha's Will of Fire or the Hidden Stone's Will of Stone, these are forms of faith. And faith is a powerful stress reliever. So even if he didn't personally "believe" in the Will of Fire, he never forgot to preach it to his disciples and juniors—it gave their conviction a place to rest.
"Hmph. I'm never training with Tonbo again," Guy grumbled after the session. He had lost, but he wouldn't stop complaining that Tonbo's tacky transformation and outfit had thrown him off.
Tonbo curled his lip. "Your outfit is the tacky one. No wonder you can't find a girlfriend."
Stab!
Guy clutched his chest as if hit by a blade, pointing a trembling finger. "My lack of a girlfriend has nothing to do with this! These clothes are stylish and breathable! You can't discourage me!"
"Well, you might actually be single because of the clothes," Kakashi added, twisting the knife.
"Kakashi, you... oh no..."
Tonbo turned to Kakashi and shook his head. "You... are also tacky. Look at this hedgehog hair and that mask. Even a dog would shake its head at you."
Stab!
"Hey! I remember you used to wrap your whole face in bandages! You found a wife while looking like that, didn't you?" Kakashi nearly choked. He just didn't want to find anyone; he had plenty of fangirls back then and still does now. And what was wrong with the mask? Tonbo used to look like a mummy!
"Heh, I'm not stupid. I took them off when it was time for 'us' time. Hey, Kakashi..." Tonbo's expression shifted, dropping the banter for a moment. "I see the Fourth's son, Naruto, looking lonely every day. Don't you ever go visit him?"
The Third Hokage had never forbidden him from approaching the Jinchuriki. That meant others probably weren't forbidden either. He was curious about Kakashi's mindset—why he never visited the boy openly, instead of just watching from the shadows.
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