Elise and I were done washing my dishes. Well, I washed them mainly, because I was way faster than her. We made some small talk in the meantime.
She mainly gushed about how cool and useful my superpowers are. She kept going on and on about all the time I could save with cooking, cleaning, dusting, etc.
Was she subtly trying to turn me into her personal butler or something? I wondered how she would react if I told her I'd rather move to Ken's house.
Well, I wouldn't mind really. She was always doing everything around here. She deserved a break too.
Wait? Had I already fallen into her trap? She was sometimes unnaturally sharp after all. What a scary opponent…
Anyway, I asked her in return if she had also noticed something supernatural happening about herself. She said that she hadn't noticed anything.
It was probably true. I was constantly looking out for the shadow. If something odd had been happening around her, I would have noticed too.
I wondered what her powers were, and Ken's for that matter. Since the Whiteout, I hadn't noticed anything off about them, or around them. Either they had been subconsciously doing something that they and I weren't aware of, or they needed to activate their powers somehow and hadn't had the opportunity yet to do so.
I was kinda curious to find out.
Once we were done in the kitchen, we walked back to the living room. William was still there, looking at the vase. The sheathed knife was still on the table, and the TV was on in the background.
Elise's dad was still alive. The shadow hadn't murdered him or taken him hostage.
I was not omnipotent, I thought as I walked towards him.
I could not protect people if the distance was too great. So, sometimes I had to choose to leave people in potential danger if I wanted to maintain acting naturally.
I could not save William in the living room while I was out of sight in the kitchen, for example.
I could at least in a non-suspicious way drag Elise with me everywhere I went. I wanted to protect her at all costs.
And it might also increase my odds of killing my father.
It would be tragic if William died, but I didn't really expect my father to target him or someone else yet.
I hadn't noticeably defied him yet. It would make no sense for him to raise my vigilance and give me more information by harming people around me.
So I didn't think I needed to be there constantly, was my understanding.
I arrived at the table. Enough thinking, I wanted to go upstairs.
"I'll go upstairs if you don't mind. It's been a… long day," I said to William as I arrived at the table.
"Ah…, yeah, you should. It's good now to take it easy," he said to me, looking away from the vase.
I wanted to take the vase upstairs, but before I could mention it, the TV interrupted me once again.
Another breaking news story. This time it was about my mother. The MEPA had gone through and the news was informing the country what had happened. That she had been kidnapped by a shadow, and is considered missing.
They told the story as I told it mainly, showing the shadow's facial sketch and telling the details of how the crime occurred, exactly how I told the police. They only left details about me unmentioned.
Their final appeal was that the country should unite to find her and inform the local police if details about her whereabouts or assailant were discovered.
The living room was filled with melancholy. Elise had put her hand on my shoulder for support. Once the news story was over, the silence lasted for a while longer. Eventually, William started talking to me again.
"I'm…. glad she wasn't… murdered."
"Yeah…, I'm sorry to upset you previously" I responded.
"No…, you were in shock. I understand, and I'm sure they'll find her."
"Yeah."
I looked at the vase, and he followed my gaze.
"It was your mother's favourite plant, right."
"Yeah."
"The police told me. I think she'll be happy that you'll take care of her plants."
I nodded, and then continued talking.
"Is it alright for me to take all of those plants here?"
"Sure, we have plenty of space upstairs."
"Too much really…" Elise muttered next to me, while taking her hand off my shoulder.
"Thank you…, I'll look around then. Can you show me around," I asked Elise.
"Sure, shall we go then?"
"Yes, but… can you bring the vase for me? I'll carry my suitcase then."
"O…Oh, you want to have it in your room?"
"Yeah…, I'd like to have it near me."
"…Okay, I'll do that."
"Thanks."
After that, we went upstairs, Elise holding my mother and me holding my suitcase in one hand. The sheathed knife I had in my pants pocket, ready to draw when necessary.
As Elise was showing me around the second floor, I found that it had a lot of rooms. Most were guest rooms, but they also had two bathrooms and toilets. It was really a big house. William had been a pretty successful doctor after all.
Elise and I didn't really talk about family circumstances, but we knew the basics of each other.
I had told her I was a bastard child, that my father had been severely mistreating my mother and me, and that we two decided to move away after I actively got myself banished from the family.
As for Elise, she had told me her mother had been terminally ill. In her last years, William quit his hospital job and moved to this town. He started a clinic here so he could work less hours and also take care of his wife. Sadly, she died when Elise was young. They'd lived here ever since.
This big house, all these rooms, I thought all the space was probably needed for the wife's care.
But still, I found it way too big now for two people, how long did Elise have to spend cleaning all this wasted space? I'm glad my mother had bought a small house for us.
Had she taken my former lack of cleaning skills into consideration?
I thought with a smile on my face that it was pretty likely, even though she was so filthy rich she could have easily bought a house 5 times as big as this one.
We arrived at a room, and I opened it with Elise next to me.
"This is the biggest room there is," she said as I was staring inside it.
I closed the door.
"I'd rather have the smallest room. I don't really like big spaces."
"Oh.., I thought…," she said, looking alternately between the vase she was holding and me.
"Actually, I don't like big rooms either…," she finished.
***
I was unpacking my luggage with Elise watching. We were talking a bit while she was watching me zoom around in my new room.
It was really a cosy small room. Also next to Elise's, she also had a small bedroom. Had she chosen this room for me deliberately because of that?
Anyway, there was a two-person bed in the corner with a nightstand and a lamp, a small closet in the other corner, and a small table with a chair near the foot of the bed. The table stood by the only window, which looked out onto the front of the house.
The middle of the room had some free space, but with a step or two you could close the distance to every wall and corner.
It also, luckily, lacked nooks and crannies. It was all nice and easy to clean.
And the ideal place to kill my father, I thought as I put the last of my clothes away in the wardrobe.
During the whole ordeal, Elise had been staring intently at all my stuff. Except for when I was putting my underwear away, she looked away shyly then. I didn't really know how I should feel about that.
I turned and looked at Elise, but she asked me a question before I could say anything.
"Where's the sharpening stone?"
SHIT, I FORGOT!
The shock hit me. I had been way too relaxed around her!
I feigned realisation, looked intently at my empty suitcase, and then responded.
"Damnit, I thought I had packed it…,"
"I…It's okay. I was just curious to see how it's done, is all."
"…Sorry."
"No, no, it's okay really. Uh, shall I bring that knife downstairs then?"
"Uhm, you don't have to bother. I'll just bring it downstairs tomorrow."
"It's not a bother, I'll just quickly…"
FUCK! I STILL NEEDED THAT KNIFE! CALM DOWN, calm down…
She'll grow suspicious if I just keep forcing the issue. It's better to admit a small truth.
"Actually, I still need that knife," I interrupted her.
She looked at me with surprise and confusion in her eyes.
"For tonight. It might be dangerous, I wanted to bring a weapon with me."
"Oh, I see…," she said with understanding, but then came a question again.
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
"…I didn't really want to worry you."
She gained a frown on her face, and bore her angry gaze into me. Oh no…
"You don't have to worry about me! Next time, just tell me!"
"I…, yes, you're right… I'm sorry," I managed to say through the ringing in my ears…
"You better be! …So, what about tonight?"
"...You still want to come with me?"
"Of course. I want to be there for you. And… you'll protect me, right?"
"Yes, I promise."
"Okay, that's settled then. So…about the details."
"Come here just before 3 AM, we'll go to that creek together then. When does your dad go to bed?"
"Uh, about 11, midnight usually."
"Good, he'll be fast asleep then. We'll sneak out then, walk to the creek, replace the dirt there and come back again.
"Y…yeah. But, are you really okay with… washing your mother away like that?"
"I… yes. She loved nature. I think she'd be at peace with it. …And me too… in that case.
"...Okay… I…just wanted to ask to make sure."
"Thanks. So, it's settled then?"
Elise nodded. The plan was formed. Now, we just had to wait. It was around 10 now. Still a couple of hours to go.
"I'm actually pretty tired. I'd like to sleep a bit until it's time. Is that okay?"
"Oh, of course. Shall I set an alarm and wake you up around then? You must be tired after everything that happened…"
"…It's okay, I'll set an alarm for myself. You can come to my room just before 3.
"Okay. Well…, I'll be in my room then and try to also fall asleep. So…, goodnight.
"Yeah, goodnight."
***
It was a bit before 1 AM. I had changed into dark blue training clothes. They were easy to move in and comfortable to sleep in. And, my old clothes were still dirty from everything that happened. There was still blood on the sleeve of my shirt…
Well, I was sure Elise had plenty of tips on removing blood from clothes. I was kinda excited about learning new cleaning techniques, especially if she would be the teacher.
Anyway, it was time.
I put the sheathed knife in one of my zipped pockets, and zipped it close until the sheath was secure and I could thus draw the knife out of its sheath. I put my phone in the other pocket.
I grabbed the vase with my mother's ashes, quietly opened my room door with my elbow, snuck downstairs and out of the front door.
Alone. Next to my mother, I also needed to do another important thing. I couldn't involve Elise in that.
It was dark outside, only lampposts illuminated the streets. There was no night life, all was quiet.
Well, it's to be expected. Fear rules these streets now, especially in the dark. Only lunatics would be outside right now.
But, I had a destination in mind, so I ran, with the vase in my hands.
It was kind of an odd experience, knowing I was running fast while not perceiving it. I was kinda worried that if I trip over something and fell face first, my face would leave a red smear in a meter long line…
Well, I wasn't too worried. Running somewhere meant you needed to have a chosen route and destination in mind. So you can still perceive the world, only with constantly renewed hyperfocus.
Due to that, I wasn't completely aware of my surroundings, but the streets were quiet anyway, so I felt no danger. I ran with confidence, knowing I saw enough to avoid disaster.
…
After a short run, I arrived at a park near Elise's house.
I wasn't tired. I often ran outdoors in nature, so my stamina was sufficient.
My legs were killing me a bit however. I guessed the increased force due to the acceleration was the cause of that.
I had not considered that my body should be capable of handling my power. I made a mental note that I should train my muscles again. I had neglected them since coming to this town.
Anyway, now that I was in this park where I often ran at, I walked to the creek further in.
The park was not lit that well. There were bright and dark spots along the flowing water.
I chose to go to a dark spot. It felt more fitting for what I was about to do, and it had to be dark for what I needed to do.
Once I arrived, I squatted down in front of the water, putting the vase next to me.
The world was silent, only the flowing water could be heard.
I removed the amaryllis plant from the dirt. I then grabbed a handful with one hand at a time and let it go into the water.
With the first handful, I uttered into the void.
"I loved you."
It was true, I thought while continuing to give her back to the nature she loved.
My mother was always filled with love. Humans, animals, plants.
Me…
Even though I'm my father's son.
That didn't matter to her. She told me over and over and over again.
Every weekend I was allowed to see her.
She loved me, even though I was his son.
…Because she loved him too.
Her only sin. No, you couldn't call it a sin if you were deceived.
We always had a side to ourselves we showed to the world, and a side we kept within ourselves.
The surface. Your appearance, the way you acted, the clothing you wore. All the stuff you could change to deceive the world with.
And your nature. How you thought. How you felt. Who you really were. The things you hid from the world so it cannot judge you.
If you had a good nature, you could just show the world who you really were, because the world would judge you as a good person. It would tolerate you.
But what if your nature was evil? Then we needed to hide it by fabricating what we showed the world, our surface.
You would become a superficial lie to deceive the world with, and my father is a master of deception.
What if someone couldn't differentiate the surface and the depth anymore?
Why did people fall in love with criminals, narcissists, psychopaths?
They had been deceived to think the surface is the depth, and the depth the surface.
When I first met him, he was such a good person. I know he's a good person. All the awful stuff they were doing now is not really him. I can fix him, so he again would become the person he was like when I met him. If I would only love him more, he'd turn back to the person he was before. I hadn't loved him enough, that's why he's like this now.
Excuses on excuses on excuses. If you didn't know you had been deceived, you'd start making excuses for yourself. And with each excuse you make, the more you'd be tricked into loving him.
That's what had happened to my mother. And when I was aware, it was already too late.
I was not always like this. I had been trained to become this. And training took time.
Years had already passed before I realised this sort of stuff is possible. And after too much time, it was already too late for the deceived.
As the excuses constantly pile on, you would start believing them.
And when you started to believe them, your reality changed. Your fate would be sealed.
The perfect form of manipulation is to change the reality of the deceived.
I tried. I told my mother everything that had been happening to her. How it worked, what my father had been doing to her all this time, what he really was like. I explained, implored, begged.
But it was useless, because she didn't believe in the real reality anymore, only the fabricated one my father had deceived her into believing.
There was no salvation left for someone in that state.
You'd become completely dependent on the person who manipulated you into this.
Your strings of free would completely be in the hands of the marionettist, for him to do with as he wishes.
Or to snap the strings whenever he wished.
That's how my father broke my mother when I had defied him. Her reality shattered, and there was nothing left for her but alcohol.
…I, …what happened to her, it haunts me. Because I'm the same as my father. He had made me in his image. I… I'm capable of this too…
I constantly thought about this sort of stuff, and every time I'm with her, I could only come to the same conclusion.
"That's why I can't love Elise," I muttered to the void again, as I washed the last of my love away into the waters.
Because Elise has already fallen in love with the surface I had fabricated for myself, I thought.
I notice all the time. The way she looks at me, the way she thinks about me, the way she feels about me.
Because it's what I've been trained to do. I can now only look at a person's depth, because the surface is all deception and distraction.
I know her vibrant voice, her expressions, her presence, her personality, her mannerisms.
But I can't notice anymore what she looks like. I always automatically filter out those details with people after I've seen them once, unless my instincts determine the information as necessary or changed.
It's how I'm conditioned to be able to see a person's true nature, because I filter out any false or unnecessary information.
So I know with absolute certainty that she loves me. And that's not the worst part.
It's when and how she fell in love with me.
If I wanted to reciprocate, I could always keep my true nature hidden forever.
But, that's not an option for me anymore.
Because she fell in love with me after I had repaired her broken nature in one of the most despicable ways possible.
And I'm not scared that she would hate me if she discovered that her very way of being now was fabricated by me.
I'm scared that she would only love me even more.
Because then she will end up like my mother, only with me being the marionettist.
And I cannot allow that for myself, because I would then be just like my father.
I'm sorry Elise, that you fell in love with the monster that is me.
…And yet, I'm staying friends with her. I can't leave her alone or break her heart.
Because I fell in love with her too, after I had repaired her.
That's what terrifies me the most, because I don't understand what sort of love it is.
Is it the sort of love my mother had for all things, where you only want the best for everyone else?
Am I seeing her as a replacement for my mother, now that she's gone, instead of an addition? Someone I can relax around to cope with the fear I constantly feel.
Or… do I love her because she's now something that has been fabricated by me?
I don't know. I'm too scared to find out the answer. But I know one thing.
If it's the first or second reason, I… I… I might be able to forgive myself for what I had done to her.
And if it's the latter, I'll be sure. That I'll never allow love into my heart again. Because, I know. Deep down, I know. That if I love her because I have been deceiving her the entire time, I'll end up being exactly like my father.
I would abuse her. I would bend her free will to a state where she would only love me more and more, in the hope that her love would repair what is broken in me.
And then, if there's nothing left of her and I discover that she can't repair me in return, I would abandon her to look for someone else, and destroy her completely.
…It's why my love for her haunts me too.
…
…Enough, I can't come to an answer no matter how much I wallow in my head. Only by spending more time with Elise can I figure this out.
I have other worries right now. It's time to move again.
I grabbed the now empty vase and filled it with water.
Then, I turned around and threw it in an arc on the dirt patch behind me.
I grabbed my phone and turned the flashlight on.
The water had landed on the dirt in arc, moistening it and making the soil looser, but not enough.
I grabbed and threw some water spontaneously again.
It hit the dirt, and the shadow now cast by me, in the same arc.
The dirt was moistened more, but not enough, so I turned off the flashlight again.
I threw water again. It hit the dirt at the same arc.
I turned my light on.
All the dirt in the arc was moist enough now. It was enough, I knew all I needed to.
I began grabbing the dirt with my hand and putting it in the vase.
I buried the amaryllis plant in the dirt again, thereafter washing my hand in the creek.
Now, for one final thing.
I grabbed my phone and turned the flashlight on.
I aimed it at the wet dirt, and found a rock.
I grabbed the rock and threw it in the middle of the creek.
It flew out of my hand with extreme velocity and hit the water with a big splash, exactly where I had aimed. Good.
I knew everything I needed to know. What form the invisible shadow is, and how to attack it when it appears. I was as sure as I could be.
I had a good feeling that I'd succeed. I had taken everything into account. I knew my trap would work.
Soon, my father would be dead.
With that confidence, I ran back to Elise's house.
***
I was back in her house and snuck to my room, past Elise's.
But before I could open the door, my phone buzzed.
…What? Who'd call me in the middle of the night?
I was holding the vase with both my hands, I'd check in a minute.
I opened the door to my room with my elbow, and once I looked inside, I almost had a heart attack.
The room was dark, with only moonlight from the window illuminating the space.
Elise was sitting on my bed in her nightgown, phone to her ear.
She stared in surprise at my arrival, worry all over her face.
She quickly looked at me all over while putting her phone down. And when focusing on the vase in my hand, she realized what I had done without her.
Her expression changed. Her face was now full of fury and hurt.
"EXPLAIN!" she commanded me with tears forming in her eyes.