Day one of my training montage isn't looking so great. Geline is going way too hard for this, and I'm pretty sure she's still mad at me for agreeing to the priestess's demands. Blobert has bounced off back to the orc Village to check on the kids, and Thorn has burrowed somewhere near the mountain looking for who knows what. But that leaves me alone with the less-than-regal priestess and one very annoyed slime woman.
"Ouch… Uh hey I- Ouch…" Her tail slaps into my face and torso over and over, as I do my best to try and dodge out of the way.
"You must be quicker." She admonishes me, but doesn't really seem to be in the moment. Doesn't seem to stop her from hitting me like a homing missile with her tail, either.
"G-Geline! C-Can we take a break?" My leaves are all in disarray atop my thorny crown. "I-I know you're mad at me for agreeing to her wishes-"
"Uhp uhp uhp!" She hisses, looking around slowly. "I'm not mad, it is an honor to train the champion of Sul."
"Your face says otherwise." I whisper under my breath.
"Ignore my face!" Geline growls, her face changing into a mask of solid blue. "Mmm mmm mm."
"Geline you have no lips I can't understand you."
"Oh right." A single pair of lips forms as she leans forward.
"Now will you tell me what's wrong, please?" My tone is nearly whiny, I don't want her to be mad at me.
"I'm.. I'm worried for you. This tournament is dangerous, you could very well die. And if what you say is true about all the skills and stuff being stuck-"
"Yeah wait, so what's up with your skills?"
"Mine?" Geline frowns, looking away shyly.. "Well I'm not qualified to be a demon lord yet, so I guess that's why I don't have the stat screen, a lot of that kind of stuff is kept secret from us monster folk."
"But it never stopped you from getting more skills, right…?"
"I wouldn't know, I don't have a way to appraise myself or others."
"And even if I did, I can't read the language. Ugh…" Every time I think I'm going anywhere, it's like I have to take two steps back to get sideswiped by oncoming traffic. And then Geline freezes in time.
"Missing me?" A voice calls in my head.
"Red! Oh man, I was getting worried you faded away in there." I try to keep the genuine concern out of my thoughts but I can tell she picked up on it but pretends not to notice.
"Don't be silly, you're my new favorite after all. At least to mess with." She adds the last part hastily and I pretend not to notice too.
"So, what do you think of our plan, infiltrating the Demon King and his tournament?"
"At your current level, you'll die." She says flatly.
"Ouch."
"I'm just being honest, Geline would have a hard time in there, and you're not close to her level yet either. You need an exp grinder."
"An exp grinder…?"
"Oh come on, you're a nerd you should know. You need to take out a bunch of enemies really fast in a short amount of time to stack up some growth."
"But the stats aren't working-"
"You remember who you're talking to, right?"
"I thought you said interfering wasn't all-"
"Fuck! I'm cleaning up a mess, just start killing a bunch of monsters so I can feasibly give you a deserved boon. Otherwise it might get noticed." She says hastily.
"Are you okay-"
"Don't worry about me, I'm sending some kill your way. Take them out."
And my mind is quiet once more.
"Well the priestess can teach you language perhaps-" Geline starts, continuing our conversation from before Red interrupted.
"Y-Yeah that's a good idea Geline, do you sene anything though?" I stand up quickly, scanning around the treeline.
"What's wrong?" She quickly mimics my actions. "Yes, there's something coming. A lot of something's."
"Oh fuck oh fuck. Red didnt tell me what they are. This is supposed to help me level up." My panic is starting to rise, a bit more of a heads up would have been really sweet.
"Be calm, I'm always with you, Cedar." Geline said, her arms transforming into her slime swords as we stood back to back. "They're low level wolves. Shouldn't be too hard." Geline licks her lips, always the battle junkie.
"Y-Yeah, l-low level." I try to calm myself, Geline is with me after all, and she could probably take them all out by herself.
"Ugh.. Stop being a coward." I mutter to myself and shake my head. If I'm not the one to fight then I won't gain anything from it. I focus on my connection to the forest, willing the roots to become looped so as to trip the oncoming horde. In a semi circle around us.
I push my hands to the ground, willing the deeper roots to spread apart and create pits in the dirt in front of the traps. The magic power drains out of me at an alarming rate as I finish the second task, my knees buckling.
"C-Cedar what are you doing?" Geline turns, her head tilting to look at me. As the wolves appear in the treeline, a semi circle cinching us against the mountain.
And then a chorus of pained tips followed by thuds and whining cries as the first wave of wolves have their paws caught in the trap and tumble into the pit.
"I-It worked." I breathe heavily, standing up and leaning on Geline. The second wave of wolves that had watched their brethren fall in don't seem to be keen on joining.
"Hah! Amazing." Geline puts her wrists against her hips, as the rest of her arm is still a sword.
"O-Okay, let me finish these ones off…" I collapse again, putting my palms against the ground.
"Total Drain." The roots in the walls of the pits ensnare the wolves that I caught, and I feel my magic power begin to regenerate. But as I do so, the second wave decides to leap forward.
"G-Geline I'll be fine after I-" But as I lift my head up, I see I've been beaten to the punch.
"Haha! Take that! And that!" Geline has already slashed away at half the second wave.
"W-Wait! L-Let me-"
"AWOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Oh fuck me what now-" I pull myself togather, and off in the distance is a massive wolf, easily as tall as Blobert with its shoulders above the tree line and if that wasn't enough, it had two heads.
"Y-You gotta be kidding me." Breathing heavily, I use Total drain to finish off the wolves Geline had cut down and fully replenish my magic and health.
"Uh, Red now would be a good time for that boon!" I yell frantically.
Nothing.
"No worries, Cedar, you're big sis can handle this one. Come forth, monster!" Geline shouts off towards the wolf, waving a hand.
"G-Geline! Don't do that! Christ, we gotta get the priestess-"
"I'm right here." Esna says flatly, standing behind me. "That wolf woke me up. Kill it would you?" She yawns, drinking her tea.
"K-Kill it? W-We gotta evacuate!"
"P'shaw. It's just a Two-Headed Alpha. Happens every once in awhile. Geline, let my champion handle it wood you. Ha, get it." Esna yawns again and walks off back towards the temple.
"Cedar, you can defeat this, I'm sure of it." Geline says, more confident in me than I am.
"You're s-sure?"
"If you can't defeat this… Well the tournament…" Geline looks off into the distance.
"Fuck.. Fuck fuck fuck… Fine!" I rack my brain, trying my hardest to think like I have two heads as well.
"Alright, I mean, there's no reason a bigger trap won't work on the wolf too…" I stare up at the nearby sheer cliff face, getting an idea. "G-Geline, can you strike the area of the cliff that's a few hundred feet away from the temple?"
"Oh is this another trap? How interesting! Right away!" Geline said giddily, slithering off towards th spot I had indicated.
"Alright… You and me, wolfie." I brace myself, and Shadow Step into the lower branches of the near treeline.
"Hey you!" I call as I climb up to the top. "Was that all your buddies I merced? My bad, I'll help you join em!" The wolf spots me with one of its heads, and forces the other to follow its line of sight.
"Yeah you! Big, dumb, and ugly! How's it feel being twice as ugly as anyone else!"
That earns me a growl that would have caused me to need a change of pants if I was still a human. And then it starts to charge.
"Shit shit shit shit." I drop down beneath the tree line and shadow step to the ground. The thunderous charge of the wolf puts me into high gear as I Shadow Step and sprint towards the spot I had told Geline to strike.
But before I'm even halfway there, it's on my heels.
"Shiiit!" I manage to Shadow Step away from a paw strike that would turn me into wood chips and hide with my back against one of the trees. The wolf twists both heads frantically, looking for me and sniffing the air. Ha, nothing but bark here buddy.
As I'm starting to wonder if I can even make it to the spot, a hole burrows up underneath me.
"Thorn!" I yell out loud, big mistake. The wolf tests both heads towards me and Thorn. She quickly pushes her head between my legs, bumping me into her back and sprinting away from the cliff side . "T-Thorn, the other way!"
She looks up at me like I'm a fucking idiot. And the award for most expressive possum goes too…
"I-I have a plan!" Crashing noises behind us kris Thorn into higher gear. She growls at me, but turns around and barrels between the wolf's legs before it can even react.
We come out the other side and speed towards the cliff face, the wolf hot on our trail.
"Slow down!" She gives me the same look, but I insist, pulling gently on her fur. She slows down as we near the cliff face, Geline is standing on one of the shorter cliffs down the line, arms folded.
"Alright… Alright…" The wolf was now almost within striking distance, and the cliff was closing in.
"Dig down now!" I grab onto thorns neck tightly, and she doesn't need to be told twice again. Her burrowing skills are truly impressive, we're easily twenty feet deep down in a matter of seconds.
But then comes the actual trap part of the plan. The wolf skitters past the hole, sliding on the dirt with enough forward momentum to launch it hard into the cliff. The resulting impact creates a cracking sound, as the top of the cliff face breaks off, and comes falling onto the wolf.
Thorn burrows us back out, a few yards away from the hole. The aftermath is less than pretty. Fur, blood, and viscera cover the ground around where the massive chunk of stone had crashed into one of the heads of the wolf. The other head was crying and barking feebly.
"You're done." My legs feel like jelly as I walk towards the remaining wolf head. This head didn't seem to be in control of the body, and even if it was, that body was pretty mangled anyway.
"Total Drain." I put my had to the ground, roots curling and wrapping around the body of the fallen wolf. The head stops moving, and I beat my first boss.
"EEEEEEE!"
"Oh what no-" I turn my head just in time to see Blobert crashing down from the sky. "B-Blobert! Blobert!" Thorn picks me up again, skirting off to the side of the Kaiju Slime's impact zone.
"It's okay Blobby, Cedar finished it off. Did you come here all the way from the village when you heard the howl?" Geline smiles, leaping down to pat his side. "You were worried for her weren't you?"
Blobert nods, and then looks at the dead wolf and back to me.
"Really, Blobby?" Geline raises an eyebrow. "He wants to know if he can eat it."
"Yeah go right ahe-" Thorn cuts me off with a growl.
"Uh, sure just share with Thorn." She sneezes in slight disapproval but moves towards the carcass. Blobert and her start in, as Geline comes to congratulate me.
"Well done, Cedar. Your fist big kill, I knew you could do it. Your traps are too sneaky for a warrior like me, but in the demon tournament they won't be nearly as honorable." She says solemnly, patting the top of my wooden head. "So use as many tricks as you can-" She freezes, mid pat.
"Nice, I didn't think you could take that wolf." Laughs an unfamiliar voice in my head.
"Uh… Hello… You're not my usual Alice."
"Your usual… Oh that one… You know she wasn't assigned to you right? I mean neither was I but who cares."
"So who are you…?"
"Uh… You call the other one Red, right? Well you can call me Green. You were supposed to be my charge, actually. Until Blue messed it all up." Green says bitterly, their tone is a little more masculine than Red but also a bit more playful. "It was my idea and everything." They pout.
"Your idea, what do you/-"
"Uh uh uhhhh, no spoilers. Sorry babes, I gotta lot to do so I need to head out anyways, but since we're old friends I'll give you a little Skill for beating my little boss monsters."
"Old friends?! What are you-" And then the pan hits. "Ack! Ahhh… What…"
"Enjoy, this should help out a lot." Green teases as their voice fades away and the pain increases. Geline, Blobert and Thorn unfreeze as I'm mid-groan.
"C-Cedar what happened? Did the wolf get you?!" Geline slithers forward, grabbing my shoulders as my knees go weak.
"N-No it's a new Skill… Ouch… It hurts.."
No need to worry, it's just me. Says a voice in my head… My voice in my head…?
Yes, I'm you, you're me. We are we."
"We're what…?"
You have acquired the skill Parallel Processing, duh. Now we have double the mental output!"
"We… Do…?"
Yeah, you can leave designated duties on the body to me, like magic casting or evasion-
"And how do I get rid of you..?" I clutch my head.
Wow, okay, rude, I am you, so that's kinda dark don't you think?
"Just… Whatever… How about, be hypervigilant for me."
Ahh, yes I'll handle our excellent natural perceptions. I will attune us to the nature around us. Any other tasks…?
"Yeah, uh, think about the Alice stuff for us, it's way too confusing for me. Like, who ARE Red, Green, and Blue?"
I will ponder this at once!
And then my mind went quiet again.