The apartment felt wrong.
Cecily noticed it the moment she stepped inside after work. Nothing was out of place, yet everything felt unfamiliar. The quiet wasn't peaceful anymore. It pressed against her chest, heavy and suffocating.
She dropped her keys on the counter and leaned there for a moment, closing her eyes.
"Get it together," she whispered.
But she didn't feel together.
She felt split.
She changed into something comfortable and moved around the apartment aimlessly. At some point, she realized she was standing in front of the bedroom closet, staring at Liam's side.
His clothes were still there.
Neatly hung.
Her chest tightened.
She reached out and touched one of his shirts, fingers brushing the fabric gently, like it might disappear if she held on too tightly.
"I didn't plan for this," she murmured softly.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket.
She already knew who it was.
Ethan.
She didn't check immediately. She needed a moment. When she finally pulled the phone out, the message was simple.
Ethan:
"How are you tonight??"
Such a normal question.
And yet, it felt loaded and heavy.
Cecily:
"I don't know how to answer that honestly."
A few minutes passed.
Ethan:
"Then don't force it. Just tell me what feels closest to the truth."
She sat on the edge of the bed.
Cecily:
"I feel tired. And guilty."
Ethan:
"About Liam??"
She swallowed.
Cecily:
"About everyone. Including myself."
There was a pause.
She imagined him somewhere else entirely. Different city. Different room. Different life.
And still, here he was.
Ethan:
"I don't want to be the reason you lose something real."
Her eyes stung.
Cecily:
"You're not forcing anything. You never did."
She hesitated, then added
Cecily:
"That's part of why this hurts so much."
Later that night, Cecily finally called Liam.
Her heart raced as the phone rang.
He answered on the third ring.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," she replied softly.
"How are you?" he asked.
She exhaled.
"I'm… struggling."
There was no surprise in his silence.
"I figured," he said calmly.
"I miss you," she admitted.
"I know."
She closed her eyes.
"I hate that I'm hurting you."
"I hate it too," he replied. "But I'd hate it more if we lied to each other."
She nodded even though he couldn't see her.
"I don't want to lose us," she said.
"Then you need to decide if there's still an 'us' to hold on to," Liam replied gently.
His voice wasn't angry.
That hurt more.
"I feel like no matter what I choose, someone gets hurt," she whispered.
"That's true," he said honestly. "But dragging it out hurts more."
Her throat tightened.
"Do you still love me?" she asked.
There was a pause.
"Yes," he said. "But love alone isn't enough if I'm not your first choice."
Her breath shook.
"I never wanted to make you feel like you're a second."
"I know," he replied. "But feelings doesn't listen to intentions."
They sat in silence for a while.
"I need time," she finally said again.
Liam sighed softly.
"I can give you time," he said. "But not forever."
"I understand."
They ended the call quietly.
Cecily sat there, staring at her phone long after.
The next morning, she woke up feeling heavier than usual.
Her dreams had been restless.
Voices overlapping.
Faces blurring.
She went through her routine slowly, barely tasting her breakfast, barely noticing the world outside.
At work, she made another mistake.
Her supervisor pointed it out gently.
"Everything okay, Cecily?"
She forced a smile.
"Yes. Just tired."
But it wasn't just tiredness.
It was emotional exhaustion.
During her break, she checked her phone.
No new messages from Ethan.
For some reason, that stung.
She reminded herself that space was necessary.
That this wasn't something to rush.
Still, her fingers hovered over his name before she stopped herself.
"No," she whispered. "Not now."
That evening, Cecily decided to go for a walk.
The air was cool, the sky painted in soft shades of orange and purple. Couples passing her by, holding hands, laughing.
She felt strangely invisible.
She stopped at a small café and sat by the window, watching people move through their lives with purpose.
She wondered when she had lost hers.
Her phone buzzed.
This time, she didn't hesitate.
Ethan:
"I didn't hear from you today. Just wanted to check in."
She stared at the message for a moment.
Cecily:
"I needed some quiet that's why."
Ethan:
"I get that."
A pause.
Then
Ethan:
"Did I do something wrong?"
Her chest tightened.
Cecily:
"No. You didn't."
Ethan:
"Then what are you afraid of right now?"
She stared out the window.
The truth pressed at her chest.
Cecily:
"That if I let myself lean on you, I won't be able to step back."
His reply came slower this time.
Ethan:
"I don't want to be your escape."
That sentence stayed with her.
Cecily:
"I don't want you to be either."
She paid for her drink and walked home, the conversation replaying in her head.
That night, Cecily stood in the shower longer than usual, letting the water run as her thoughts tangled.
She remembered the girl she used to be.
So sure.
So hopeful.
She missed her.
Afterward, she wrapped herself in a towel and sat on the bed, staring at the wall.
Her phone buzzed again.
Liam.
A message this time.
"I'll come by tomorrow to grab a few more things."
Her chest tightened.
"Okay"
She replied.
"I'll give you space"
He added.
She typed
You don't have to.
Then erased it.
Then typed
"I'll be home."
That was all.
She set the phone down and lay back.
Tomorrow would make everything more real.
The next day felt slow.
Painfully slow. And it made her anxious.
Cecily cleaned the apartment even though it was already clean. She needed something to do with her hands.
When the doorbell rang, her heart jumped.
She opened the door to see Liam standing there.
He looked tired.
But composed.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," she replied.
They stood awkwardly for a moment before he stepped inside.
"I'll be quick," he said.
She nodded.
As he moved around, gathering his things, Cecily watched quietly.
"I hate that it's like this," she said softly.
He paused.
"Me too."
She hesitated.
"Do you think we can fix this?" she asked.
He turned to face her.
"I don't know," he said honestly. "But I know pretending won't help."
Tears filled her eyes.
"I never meant to fall apart like this."
He softened slightly.
"I know. You're not a bad person, Cecily."
"Then why does it feel like I'm hurting everyone?"
"Because sometimes being honest hurts," he replied.
He picked up his bag.
"I'll give you space," he said again. "Figure out what you want."
She nodded, unable to speak.
At the door, he paused.
"I hope you choose what makes you whole," he said quietly.
Then he left.
The door closed behind him.
And Cecily slid down to the floor, finally letting herself cry.
Later that night, she sat on the couch, eyes swollen, heart aching.
Her phone buzzed.
Ethan.
She hesitated.
Then answered.
Cecily:
"He came by today."
Ethan:
"How are you feeling?"
She laughed bitterly.
Cecily:
"Like I'm standing at the edge of something and I'm terrified to move."
Ethan:
"Whatever you decide… I don't want to be a regret.
Her chest tightened."
Cecily:
"Neither do I."
Silence stretched between them again.
Not empty.
Just heavy.
Cecily leaned back, staring at the ceiling.
She was running out of time.
And she knew it.
Because choosing nothing…
Was still a choice.
And soon, the silence would no longer wait for her.