Time passed quickly between my duties at the castle, my training, and my study sessions to learn to communicate in Daís's sign language. One day, we were practicing one of his tribe's sacred dances when one of the kitchen women summoned me. "We can continue tomorrow" I said in his language. "I have to go on campaign; I need to rest" he replied. At that moment, we hugged and went our separate ways to our quarters.
Passing through the inner courtyard, I heard a couple of voices, followed by a laugh that sounded familiar, and I decided to peek around the corner at the far end. From there, I could see a light coming. That's where I saw Nayah holding a three-candle candelabra, while one of the senior soldiers Daís was training with grabbed her ribs to kiss her.
Such open displays of affection were uncommon in the castle, let alone between two people who weren't betrothed.
For the next few days, I remained silent, waiting for the moment my sister would tell me about that man. I, for some reason, expected an explanation or justification. In the tribe, adults were free to spend as much time together as they wished, but they could only confess their feelings through the smoke ceremony. In this ceremony, the man and woman met in the Mother's cave, and spices were burned to fill the air with sweet scents. To seal their love, an exchange of family symbols took place. The parents had to agree to the choice of partner, and the families gathered outside the cave where they bowed in respect and prayed together.
When Daís returned from his campaign, I rushed to speak to him about what I saw — It is not proper for a high-ranking woman like her to choose a man from outside the tribe — I complained, as if such matters concerned me.
– You should talk to her. Sometimes love is found in unexpected places — Daís said.
So I did. I didn't wait another day to speak to her. I found her in the castle garden and waited until she was alone to talk. — I saw a woman kissing a soldier two weeks ago in the courtyard of the gray fortress — I said.
— That woman is promised — Nayah said with a smile that surprised me. She squeezed my wrist and indicated with her eyes a blue cloth ribbon on hers. — She has asked me to be with her.
— It's not proper for a woman of your rank to choose a man from outside the tribe — I said.
— It's proper for love to find its way through uncertainty so that two people who complete each other can share a same life — Nayah said.
That day I learned that I called her sister, but I didn't know her. I spent much more time with her in the orchards and walking through the gardens, gathering flowers for the vases in the nobles' rooms.
It was the fourth month of the seventh year when Nayah married Atos. Daís and I performed the dance we had practiced for months to wish the couple prosperity. Which worked wonderfully. The year wasn't over when my sister announced her pregnancy.
For the next few years, I practiced with my imaginary opponent every night, sometimes with Daís, another servant friend. I would return to my books when I felt very tired and it was time for the prayer my mother offered each night to the gods, begging for an end to the war.
Instead of dreaming, I relived my memories every night. It was as if the Father was making sure I didn't forget my identity.
<><><> Year 1312 <><><>
— Esh tave nutri tas nariete! — I scolded the rebellious boy who didn't want to finish his food. After giving him a bath and helping him dress, I took him to his mother so he could begin his lessons. — Sine mes, Nayol - Nayol, my son — Nayah said with open arms when she saw him. She gave me a sign of thanks for looking after him that morning and went back into the classroom. Now, as the wife of a designated soldier, Nayah had privileges among warriors' wives. She was no longer considered a servant, she had the right to study at the castle, and to teach the other children in the gray fortress.
My mother, very attached to tradition, initially didn't accept their relationship, but since she wasn't her mother by blood, she couldn't prevent the marriage with her word and had no choice but to accept Nayol's birth.
That weekend, his birth as a boy took place. We traveled for three days to reach the waterfall where our tribe lived. Many houses were still standing, and there were pottery and weapons that had been passed down through generations of families. It was heartbreaking to see so many bodies exposed. Before any birth, we had to consecrate the deaths of our families, so the journey took a month longer than planned.
Our absence from the castle didn't raise many questions, since there were no special events that required a large staff.
The green view, the breeze on my face, and the sound of the water convinced me that I should continue on my own. I had to keep discovering a world beyond those stone walls that condemned me to a routine.
<><><>
When we returned from the woods, Dais greeted me with a bouquet of purple flowers, a color that symbolizes love and health in Taka'an. I accepted them with enthusiasm and made the sign of thanks for his good wishes.
— My sister has already made her own way in life, and my mother buried her husband in the waters of the Mashal — I said, my fingers clasped in my lap. We were sitting under a tree after practice — They deduct my room, bread, and new clothes from my pay. In this life, I couldn't afford rent outside the walls.
— Come with me on the next campaign — Dais said — With your skills and an armor, you'll easily blend in until you decide where to settle. We'll cross the mountains and reach the crags at the edge of the kingdom.
— Are you sure about what you're proposing?
— Only if you're sure you're willing to risk being discovered — he said, and I simply nodded with a hopeful smile.
The dinner bell rang, and I returned to my mother's house to share dinner and pray.
— I can't stand this life, Myrne — I said.
— You should try to rejoin the hunting groups — my mother replied.
— Men don't listen — I said, my head bowed before the goddess's altar — They're noisy, they do nothing but talk and complain about the sun.
— Their customs are centered on human approval, that's why they never shut up — my mother said.
— Myrne, let me go.
— You've been a free spirit since you were born. A mother has to face the fact that her children's lives don't belong to her when she lets them fall from the waterfall — she said, and I burst into tears. I had thought about leaving many times, and I had even come up with plans in my head that I knew wouldn't work, because deep down I didn't want to be separated from my family.
My mother hugged me that night and blessed me.
Five nights after that conversation, Daís brought a silver suit of armor, which I hid under the kitchen counter, wrapped in old rags. I braided my hair into a nest and went to sleep in light clothing to avoid wasting time in the morning. After a few hours, I got ready in the armor at dawn, waiting for Daís at the door, but he didn't arrive. So I changed my clothes and went to look for him before Atos left Nayol to look after him.
That morning, I saw the soldiers lined up in the training courtyards.
I spotted Daís in one of the back lines; I was able to signal to him without the others paying much attention: "Waiting." — "I couldn't go without being seen. We're leaving soon, come join the lines" he replied.
When I returned to my mother's house, the armor was gone.