The image of the small, fair-skinned, youthful teacher wandering inside the big house of the major lottery dealer had become so familiar that it almost looked like they were living as a couple under the same roof.
It made the playful, party-loving person want to stay in, to keep having fun with the same person, rather than going out.
The little teacher, disheveled and focused, scribbling lottery numbers with a frown from struggling with the accounting work, looked endearingly busy. The tall one watched and found a smile creeping onto the face for no clear reason. Teasing and taunting this adorable person, which would normally be frowned upon, now brought a strange sense of relief.
The desire to be with only this person surprised even the most unfeeling heart. Normally detached, uninterested in attachments, yet with this small, lively teacher… the urge to hold, hug, and be close all day and night without letting the person leave was overwhelming.Why is that?
"I didn't expect anything anyway," came the deep, husky voice close to the fair ear, followed by a soft lick and a quiet laugh.
Luktan struggled to pry the other's clinging hands off, then turned to look at the once-condescending, now surprisingly obedient giant of a man. He acted normal, not fawning or coaxing, just… himself.
"Hey, Tod," the voice came softly, hesitant, as if unsure about saying something. Tod leaned closer, listening.
"Why not call me 'older brother'? I'm older than you, you know," his sharp eyes gazed at the fair face with a gentle fondness. Lately, the little teacher had looked so cute, Tod wanted to keep watching all day.
"Not calling you that! Why should I respect you?"
Luktan's frowning, sulky expression didn't anger Tod like it would have before. On the contrary, Tod smiled at being scowled at, endured the long complaints, and couldn't resist planting a playful kiss on the small lips. The act was harmless to the body but dangerous to the little heart, leaving it all confused. Though his mind was filled with the father's face, the instinctive love for children made him think of the child just as strongly.
"Why would I call you that?" The deep voice softened, lowering its intensity into a husky tone that made the heart flutter.
"Nong Teng…"
Merely mentioning the child's name made the father's expression twitch immediately. Luktan, who loved children, couldn't bear to see clever little Teng grow up neglected.
If it could make Tod reconsider and take responsibility for Teng, it might be better for everyone. Luktan knew how mischievous the child was naturally, and that it might seem bothersome to someone like Tod someone who had never experienced raising his own blood.
Taking responsibility for another life would be difficult for him too. But since both the child and the father were already so entwined in each other's lives, Luktan just wanted to give them a chance to meet, to talk, to spend time together. Maybe it could work.
He only wanted Tod to experience that pure, innocent kind of love once. The blood and flesh that came from oneself wasn't something anyone could just create. Everything had its time and balance. Becoming a parent was one of the greatest things in life.
"Sigh… why am I even saying this? Just ruining my mood,"
The deep voice hardened immediately, letting go of the slender waist and picking up the phone, scrolling absentmindedly.
"Can you not sigh like that? Listen… lately, Nong Teng has been staying over at my place again. I have to sneak over to record the lottery at your house without knowing how to explain it, and then the kid has to go home alone… it makes me uneasy."
Luktan spoke at length, worrying over the student. Even though Nong Teng was mischievous like his father, Luktan loved and cared for him deeply. Maybe even more than Teng's own father.
"So what? That kid already sleeps with the teacher all the time. Let him sleep with his father sometimes what's the big deal?"
"Nong Teng's been in trouble ever since you became his father, haven't he? Listen to me please! I love children. I want my own, but I can't because I'm not interested in women. Meanwhile, you, lucky as you are, have children easily. Plus, Aunty See takes care of them, you sell the lottery, and take money abroad living comfortably. Don't you ever think about how important family care is?"
"Are you a teacher or a monk? Must you lecture me like that? I don't get a word of it. And another thing, dear kindergarten teacher the kid's mother has been using him as an excuse to squeeze money from my household since she was pregnant. If you're a teacher, why would you throw money at a small child and limit your own freedom for no reason? Are you out of your mind? Finish writing already, you're taking forever!"
"I'm worried about Teng. Can't you bring him here to live with you? Your house is huge, you're rich… hire a good lawyer, fight for it. You have
connections I believe you can do it if you try. As for freedom, everyone has it, with or without children. A kid isn't some demon who will ruin your life. It's just one child it's not that hard!"
"How many hundreds of times do I have to tell you to mind your own business and take care of yourself first?!"
Tod grabbed Luktan's chin, forcing him to meet his gaze, signaling that his way of thinking was final because he was always right.
"…So, if I want more money, what should I do?"
Luktan sighed at the obstinate, stubborn lottery boss, who seemed only to care about money, freedom, and the occasional indulgence, never knowing how to enjoy life in any other way.
"What would you do with so much money? Have you already paid off your student loans, or do you just want to stay together for life?"
"Yeah! I want it so what? If you don't want to pay, don't. Go do something else instead."
"What did you say? You'd just go do that to someone else? Hmph… this hunger for money will never be satisfied, will it?"
"I'm done recording the lottery. I'm leaving." Luktan was tired of arguing with Tod, so he packed up immediately after finishing.
"Wait! Where are you rushing off to? Go find some clueless rich guy? Nobody here is bigger than me, Luktan."
"Not sure… maybe he's not bigger, but at least he's not as vile as you. That's enough for me."
"Vile? Hmph. Where would any decent person go for a troublesome teacher like you? Which foolish rich guy would put up with all your nagging and fuss…"
Smack!
"Vile! You never change. I thought you might get better, but you're still the worst!" The small fist slammed down with all the anger inside.
"And where did this money-hungry teacher come from, anyway? Lately, not getting scolded, debts all paid off… now thinking you can defy me? Hmph. Don't even dream of going anywhere without my say-so!"
Tod gritted his teeth, staring at Luktan, holding back his temper. If it weren't for the small figure in front of him, the person would have been flattened already.
The pleasant atmosphere from a moment ago had turned gloomy again. A feeling that wasn't there before passed silently between them, but…
It couldn't be spoken.
A special feeling was forming amidst the uneasy exchanges. Almost as if, if someone spoke first…
"I like you…"
that forbidden phrase_
It would mean losing, shame, and a dent to one's pride. It was Luktan who couldn't bear the awkward, overwhelming feeling anymore. Turning his back, he drove back to his residence, leaving that lingering sensation behind. The selfish, cruel person who had unwittingly fallen in love…
"Are you going back home to Bangkok this school break, Luktan?"
Teacher Wanlapa, noticing the small figure had been down for days, asked casually. It was such a simple question, but Luktan's eyes widened in surprise, having completely forgotten about the upcoming break.
All his thoughts had been consumed by the lottery family, leaving no room to plan anything even though he knew that people back in Bangkok would be nagging him every day to return to the city.
But maybe going back home for a while could ease some of the bad feelings stirred up by certain people here…