The soft breeze caressed her skin, carrying the comforting fragrance of lilies. In the sky, the moon shone brightly, bathing the endless field of flowers in a mantle of silver.
In the distance, Sunny and the woman rested comfortably among the flowers. His head lay on her lap, and he was smiling, so warm and unguarded it felt like a stab to her heart.
Nephis had seen him smile before, sharp, mocking, fleeting. This was none of those. This was soft. Open. Trusting.
The woman was smiling too, her hands softly caressing his hair even as the cracks widened minutely.
It was a beautiful image, comforting, almost perfect.
Except that she was not part of it, except that it was another woman who was doing what she wished she could do.
Nephis tried to step forward.
Her foot met resistance, as though the lilies had grown into chains of silk and steel. She forced herself onward anyway, her jaw tightening. The field did not yield. The air thickened around her, locking her in place.
When she tried to speak, her voice failed, not a sound leaving her throat.
When she tried to invoke her aspect, the flames died so quickly she did not even feel pain before they were gone.
The sound of laughter in the distance brought her attention back to the pair. The woman was laughing at something Sunny had said.
"Did that really happen?" she asked.
Sunny sighed playfully, feigning exasperation. "Yes, it did."
The woman chuckled, her fingers never stopping their tender caress. "My, I did not know the War Realm had such an outrageous way to greet people."
"You have literally seen my memories. You know very well that is not how it works."
She lifted her chin imperiously. "Just because I did does not mean that I understand how barbarians like you act."
Her haughty act lasted only long enough for Sunny to pinch her side, at which point she erupted once more in laughter. When she stopped, there was a bright smile on her face.
"This is what you get for leaving me," she joked.
Sunny rolled his eyes. "This is the seventh time you have reminded me in this dream alone."
The woman chuckled softly, her tender ministrations stopping for a moment. "And I will keep doing it. Honestly, do you have any idea of the kind of damage you have done to my self esteem?"
"Sorry, not sorry."
She gasped dramatically. "You devil."
"Titan, actually," he corrected smugly. "Thanks for that, by the way."
The woman rolled her eyes, fond exasperation passing briefly through her expression.
"You are welcome," she said flatly. "Good to know that my demise brought you so much profit."
"Oh yes, just imagine how much time your heroic sacrifice saved me," he said lightly.
She laughed faintly. "You sure know how to flatter a woman."
He echoed the sound. "Of course, it is among my many talents, along with being devilishly handsome and the most honest man in the world."
"Two worlds, even," she finished.
They stared at each other for a long moment, faces composed and unreadable, dark eyes locked in a quiet, stubborn standoff. A flicker tugged at the corner of her mouth before she smoothed it away, but not quickly enough. His lips answered with the faintest curve. She drew a careful breath, and it betrayed her in a soft, almost imperceptible snort. He exhaled sharply in response, something like a suppressed laugh slipping through. They tried to recover, pressing their mouths flat, blinking, trying to steady themselves, but the effort only made their shoulders tremble. A muffled chuckle escaped, then another, each one loosening the tension until it unraveled completely. At last the restraint gave way, and their laughter rose together, bright, joyful, and painfully honest.
Nephis could do nothing but watch as the scene unfolded before her.
She saw it with her own eyes, the way he smiled at her, how relaxed he was, the easy conversation and the tenderness in their eyes as they stared at each other. He did not weigh his words. He did not brace for betrayal.
He was at ease. That was what hurt the most.
She had fought beside him. Bled beside him. Survived with him. And yet she had never seen him like this.
Nephis saw all of it and decided that one day she would have it too.
Nephis did not want his submission, did not want to command him like a master would a slave. The very thought made her stomach twist. No, she wanted Sunny to look at her like he looked at the woman. To see that warm smile directed at her and only her. To feel that loving gaze on herself.
She wanted it. She wanted it so much it scared her.
"Are you happy?" she heard the woman ask.
Her focus returned to the pair just in time to see Sunny's expression crack for the first time.
"I'm not sure."
The woman frowned, her fingers resuming their tender caress. "How so?"
Sunny exhaled slowly, and the same exhaustion she had seen the day before revealed itself. "I am not ready for this. Maybe I will never be."
The quiet admission was like a slap. Sunny did not look at her. Most likely, he was not even aware that she was there, and yet she was sure that he was referring to her, that she was the cause of that uncertainty.
Her lips moved, trying and failing to make a sound, yet none came.
"Because of the disgusting Nephilim?" the woman asked, looking at him with sympathy.
The word stung more than she expected. Disgusting.
Sunny looked away for a moment. Nephis thought that their eyes would meet. Her breath hitched in preparation, fear pooling in her stomach, her mind churning for something to say. Except that his eyes went right through where she was without any sign of recognition. He could not see her. He never could.
She was trapped, forced to watch the conversation without being able to intervene, forced to hear him open his heart in front of someone else.
"Yes and no." His voice was heavy as he answered. "I have been thinking of this very moment for so long. I prepared speeches, decrying her hypocrisy, the pain she brought to me, the gall she had to order me to survive after what she had done. I also had so many things I thought I would do. I was ready to storm at her, to hit her, to embrace her, to kiss or to kill her."
The woman's frown deepened, sadness shining briefly in her eyes. "Yet you did nothing."
"I did nothing." The agreement sounded like surrender. "The moment I saw her, my mind went blank." He chuckled, the sound so bitter it made her chest tighten. "It has been such a long time, and she can still steal my breath away without even trying."
Nephis could feel her heart beating madly at the admission.
The woman, on the other hand, sighed deeply, and the cracks widened as she did. "Your flaw is a cruel one, to make you admit such things before me."
"Eirene, I..."
She silenced him with a finger over his lips. "Please, do not say it. I understand."
"I am sorry," he said nonetheless.
Eirene shook her head and leaned back to stare at the pale moon. "That is not all, is it?"
He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. "I wish it was. Everything else scares me."
Fear. She never thought the day would come when he would admit such a thing openly.
The idea that the fear might be directed at her was like a shard of ice stabbed into her heart.
"How so?"
Sunny looked at the moon too. Whatever he saw on the pale sphere did nothing to reassure him.
"Everything is just so overwhelming," he admitted. "I expected to wake up alone, forgotten by everybody. To have time to gather my thoughts, to rest a little, sleep, eat some delicious food, spend whole days bathing in the sun."
He draped an arm over his eyes, as if the action alone would shield him from the world.
"Instead, I wake up in her manor. Right beneath an ongoing battle. My friends are there. My sister is there. Neph is hurt. So is everyone else." He chuckled bitterly once more. "At that very moment I forgot about everything else. The only thing that went through my mind was that someone had to pay for it."
Her breath hitched. He cared. Cared about her being hurt.
"And you made them do so."
"I did," he agreed. "Except that I was not satisfied." He took a deep breath. "They were still there when it was done. There were no more distractions at hand. Nothing else to focus my mind on." He swallowed again. "I was sure that they had forgotten me, that the day I would go to speak to them, I would be nothing but a stranger to them."
Eirene hummed softly, a barely discernible melody that soothed his nerves. "That is not what happened."
"They remember me. They remember me."
"And it scares you."
"It does," he agreed softly. "I know how to handle scorn, disdain, hate, and a thousand other negative things. But the way Effie looked at me? Kai's smile? My heart... my heart almost burst with joy."
He made a small pause.
"And it frightens me."
She gently prodded his arm away, and Nephis could see the way his eyes shone, glistening with unshed tears.
"When Rain ran to me and jumped into my arms, calling me Big Brother, I almost broke down at that very moment."
Nephis had seen it in his expression. That brief moment of disbelief, like he could not believe what was happening. Then the fear, the all encompassing horror that nobody but her knew to look for.
He had been afraid that it was not real, that if he blinked, even for a moment, everything would disappear.
"Is it not what you wanted?" Eirene asked gently. "To have friends? Your sister back? To be remembered?"
"Yes, all of it. And it terrifies me. Nothing good ever happens to me." He shook his head. "And when it does, it is only a matter of time before it is ripped away."
Nephis closed her eyes, woefully aware that she was among those who had ripped something good from him.
Eirene chuckled softly and leaned down to plant a kiss on his forehead. "My dear Sunny, have you already forgotten what you decided?"
"No." The answer was as fast as it was certain.
"Then why all of this doubt? Why all of this fear?"
"Because I do not know if they know," he whispered. "What if they do? What if despite knowing they still chose her? What if even my own sister would rather pick Nephis than me?"
The words hit her heavily. He was afraid that they would choose her if they knew the sin she had committed, that she would use them as weapons against him, as chains to bind him tighter.
Eirene shook her head. "Why ask a question whose answer you already know?"
Sunny chuckled softly. "Because I am still afraid despite it. Because I don't know if I will ever heal from such a wound. And yet..." He closed his eyes, and when he opened them once more, the tears were gone. "If they prefer her over me... then I will just keep going. I will find other friends. Make my own path."
The quiet resolve in his voice made her chest ache. He was already preparing to be disappointed, already preparing for something good to be taken away from him once again.
"All of this could have been avoided if you had stayed with me," she reminded him, her tone soft despite the chiding.
"It could," he agreed, then shook his head. "But I would not be satisfied. I never would."
"Because it was not real."
"Because it was not real," he echoed, then smiled at her. "I am sorry, Eirene. I truly am. But I simply could not do it. I could not live in a world I know is a lie. I could not interact with the figments of my imagination and pretend they were real. I could not just close my eyes and pretend that everything is all right."
Hope briefly shone in her chest. This, whatever this was, this perfect dream, he had chosen to leave behind, to come back to the waking world, to Effie, Kai, and Rain. To her.
Eirene laughed, and it was one of the saddest sounds Nephis had heard. "And she was not there."
Sunny said nothing, and Nephis could feel her cheeks reddening.
"Was there any way to change the final result?" she asked, her voice wavering, as if afraid of the answer she would receive. "Any combination of events that would have convinced you to stay? Anything I could do to make you forget about the world outside my domain? To make you truly happy? Happy enough to stay with me forever?"
Silence settled between them, so heavy she could feel it even despite the distance separating them. Her own chest tightened in preparation for whatever answer Sunny would give.
The silence stretched, pain starting to appear on Sunny's face as he resisted his flaw, his eyes shining with regret. Then he exhaled heavily.
"No," he admitted at last. "I have been running all my life, hiding away, trying to pretend that everything will be all right if I just ignore my problems." He closed his eyes mournfully. "I want to live," he said softly. Then he repeated it, louder this time. "I want to live."
He stirred from his position, ever so slowly rising to sit, his shoulder brushing against her, and there was something tender in that contact, something for which she had no words.
"I am sorry, Eirene. I truly am." His hand reached for hers, intertwining their fingers. "Your dreams were everything I ever wanted, everything I ever wished for. But I just could not stay inside them. I could not give up. Not then, not now, not ever. Not until I am satisfied. Not until I have the kind of life I never dared dream of."
She smiled sadly and reached forward, gently caressing his cheek. "Do you love me?"
Something vulnerable flashed through his expression for a moment.
"Yes."
The answer fell on her with the weight of a mountain, crushing her more devastatingly than any blow would have.
Eirene chuckled, and the cracks deepened even further, purple light starting to shine through them.
She leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. "Do you love me more than the Nephilim?"
He closed his eyes. When he opened them once more, regret shone clearly in them.
"No."
When he said no, something inside her loosened so abruptly it left her dizzy. Relief surged first. Fierce, possessive, shameful. It was followed immediately by guilt.
He had just broken someone's heart.
And Nephis was grateful for it.
Eirene's smile thinned, closely followed by a sadness that did not leave. "Truly a cruel flaw."
Her arms enveloped him, turning what had almost been a kiss into a deep, shaky embrace.
"This is a goodbye, is it not?" he asked after a moment, his arms just as tight around her as hers were around him.
For a while she did not answer. The cracks kept deepening, the purple light almost radiant beneath her skin.
"Yes," she said at last. "My father has done something to you, something that I cannot undo. My shadow was the one to pay the price for it."
His arms tightened. "I do not want to let you go."
She chuckled bitterly. "Neither do I want you to let me go." Her hand rose to caress the mane of hair falling down his back. "Who knows, maybe I could have made you forget all about the Nephilim with more time."
Rage burned bright in Nephis' mind, as if she would fail so easily.
He laughed shakily. "I would like to see you try."
She tightened the embrace so much that there was no separation between them.
"Can I ask something of you?"
"Anything."
She smiled brightly at his answer. "Somewhere out there, in the realm of shadows, my true self still exists. She still clings to our dream. She still desperately tries to create the world without suffering we have always dreamed about. When you are strong enough, go there and bring her peace. I know myself how stubborn I can be. She will never stop until someone else makes her." She paused briefly, steadying her voice. "Please, bring her peace. Let her know that in the end she was not alone. That she will never be alone again within your mercy. That she too, was loved"
Eirene let go of him enough to stare him in the eye. "Can you please do that?"
He smiled, bright and unguarded, an expression of love so pure Nephis could feel tears prickling at her eyes.
"I will."
Eirene smiled, and that expression made her face brighten like nothing Nephis had ever seen.
"I love you."
"So do I."
Their lips met one last time.
-------------------------------------------
His soft breaths were the only sound that could be heard in the field.
Nephis watched as his chest rose and fell. There was a peaceful expression on his face. His head was once more resting on Eirene's lap, and she was caressing his hair gently.
He had fallen asleep shortly after the kiss, what little energy he had recovered spent on their last conversation. Despite the exhaustion that had claimed him, his hand was gripping the fabric of Eirene's clothes, as if he could not bear letting go.
Eirene smiled at the gesture, looking as though she could spend all of eternity in that position and find nothing wrong with it.
Then, ever so slowly, Eirene lifted her gaze and turned to stare straight at her.
It was with chilling certainty that Nephis realized she had been aware of her presence all along.
No, that was not right. Eirene was the one who had brought her inside this dream.
She had wanted her to see.
"You are more disgusting than I thought you would be," she commented lightly.
Nephis glared at her, wishing she could say something in return.
"Oh, right, you are still bound." The woman snapped her fingers, and suddenly she was free.
It was almost dizzying. One moment she could not move a millimeter from her position, and just like that she was back in control.
"Why?" she asked, barely restraining the fury she felt.
Eirene tilted her head and looked her up and down. "Slower too."
Nephis stepped forward to show her exactly what she thought of that opinion, but despite being able to move and speak at last, she still could not step past the field of flowers.
"Also a brute." Eirene shook her head sadly. "To think I would lose to such an inferior opponent. And to a Nephilim of all things."
Nephis clenched her jaw so hard she thought a tooth might crack. "Did you bring me here just to mock me?"
She chuckled softly even as her fingers continued caressing Sunny's hair. "Oh no, not at all. I brought you here to congratulate you."
Of all the things she had expected to hear, that was the last.
"Do not give me that face, little Nephilim. I am being honest."
"Explain yourself," she demanded.
"Is it not obvious? You and I are much the same. I can recognize the same fire that burns inside me within you." Eirene smiled without humor. "I too have a dream, one for which I would have never stopped reaching. One for which I would have burned down the world if that meant achieving it, ironic as it sounds given what it is." She stopped her ministrations only long enough to make a slow, almost mocking clap. "Congratulations for staying true to it."
On her right cheek, a crack widened so much that it split open, revealing the pulsing purple light beneath. "I too would have done the same as you did. In fact, were it not for my father's doing, I would have gone back at it the moment I could."
Nephis trembled at the revelation.
"Oh?" Her reaction seemed to amuse her. "Are you afraid, little Nephilim? Well, you should be. I have always been a greedy woman, after all. Why would I settle for only one thing when I can have both? Even a goddess should have a cute little consort, don't you think?" Then she shrugged. "As for you, I have never been one to share what is mine."
Fury erupted inside her, burning so bright and hot she almost thought one of her cores had exploded.
"Stop talking about him like he is a possession."
"My, I never expected the woman who enslaved him to care so much about such a thing."
The hot fury burning inside her was doused immediately by Eirene's words, so sharp and cold she almost felt as though she had been cut by them.
The worst part was that she could not deny them, no matter how hard she tried.
She had enslaved him the moment she uttered his True Name. It was the undeniable truth.
If only Cassie had not told her...
No, she was not one to blame others for her mistakes. It had all been her doing, and to pretend anything else was just a coward's way out.
Nephis took a moment to breathe, to steady herself and calm her nerves before speaking again. Falling into her provocations was exactly what Eirene was looking for, and she was not about to give her the satisfaction.
"What is your purpose in bringing me here?" she repeated the question.
Eirene's eyes narrowed. "Are you deaf too?"
Her newly regained control almost snapped. "You did not bring me here for that."
"Fine, fine. Did you have to ruin my fun so fast?"
Eirene shook her head, the action alone making the fractures across her skin widen.
She did not have much time left.
"I did not lie before. I truly appreciate your conviction. It shall bring you far in this world." The cracks widened even more, leaving her face unrecognizable. "It will also bring you into conflict. There will always be those who oppose you, those who want to tear down everything you build, and those who promise to stand by your side yet will leave you when it becomes inconvenient."
She paused, looking at the pale moon and then back to Sunny.
"Listen to my advice, little Nephilim. Do not let go. Not now. Not ever." The cracks that split her face looked like a jagged smile. "In the end, my true self died alone. There was no one by her side. No one to hold her hand and tell her they loved her. No one to carry the weight of the world alongside her."
Eirene paused for a moment, her head hanging low in what Nephis assumed was mourning.
"But you do not have to repeat my mistakes. Your bond is cracked, marred with scars, but it is still there. Strong enough to make Sunny reject the perfect world I crafted for him." Her voice turned bitter at the admission.
She leaned down to kiss him one final time, but she did not have lips to do it anymore. Somehow the cracks that marred her face conveyed sadness.
When her face turned back to Nephis, she could almost perceive something dark and possessive in her expression. "So order him to stay. Order him to never leave you. Order him to love you."
"No."
The answer tore itself out of her without thought and was voiced so fast she was not even sure she had spoken.
The words struck somewhere deep in her chest, and her stomach twisted so violently she almost doubled over as bile burned at the back of her throat. The flowers beneath her boots blackened and withered as heat bled from her skin, the air around her warping and trembling under the sudden spike of her fury.
Order him.
Order him to love her.
The very thought felt obscene.
An image flashed through her mind. Sunny kneeling at her feet, awaiting her next command. His expression was loving, but his eyes were hollow. That crooked, defiant smile replaced by one that conveyed nothing but submission. His voice stripped of bite and will, reduced to mindless obedience.
Her heart lurched.
She had already done it once. Not the same, but close enough.
The memory rose on its own. The moment she had spoken his True Name. The invisible chains that had snapped into place. The look on his face when he realized what she had taken from him.
Shame cut deeper than any blade.
Her hands trembled with revulsion. At herself. At the weakness that had made her invoke his True Name. At the small, ugly part of her that had felt relief when the bond formed, that had felt reassured.
That part still existed. That was the worst of it.
For one terrible, fleeting instant, the temptation coiled around her heart. A simple command. Just two words. Love me. He would never leave. Never walk away. Never choose someone else.
Her nails bit into her palms hard enough to draw blood.
No.
If he stayed, it would be because he chose her.
If he loved her, it would be because he wanted to.
Anything else would be a corpse wearing his face.
"I will not enslave him," she stated. The heat around her flared brighter, wild and untamed. "Not again. Not for anything."
Eirene studied her for a long moment. Then she nodded. "Good," she said softly. "I was still strong enough to end you if you agreed."
The woman chuckled softly and snapped her fingers. Suddenly she was the one sitting, Sunny's head resting in her lap as though it belonged there.
Eirene was standing in front of her, looking away at the endless field of white lilies, at the distant moon bathing the world in silver light, at a past that was long gone and that nobody but the man she loved could remember.
The cracks covering her widened one final time, completely breaking her form apart. There was nothing left of her original graceful figure. Instead, what stood there was a mass of purple light, already starting to dim.
"I hate this world," she admitted. "I hate the way it is always trying to drag you down, the way it will take away everything you have ever loved, everything you have ever cared for. I hate its people. Their endless demands. Their never ending need for protection and comfort. Their willingness to saddle you with their expectations and burdens. I hate all of these tragedies, all of the events that led me to becoming a goddess, to being a slave to a city I never loved. And yet... I am grateful." Her laughter echoed across the field, bright and unguarded. "Without all of it, I would have never met him. So please..."
She turned to stare one final time at Sunny before she vanished, her final words echoing even after she was gone.
"Make him happy."